Crazy Nezha

Behind the Sixth Hospital's main canteen, there is an open space.

This is where the kitchen is for washing and cleaning.

A black goat was standing next to the sink, and Li Tianbao was spraying water on her with a hose.

Li Tianbao: "Let me warm you up first, are you cold?"

Leopard Head: "I'm not cold, Third Prince. Is Brother Xiaotian alright?"

Li Tianbao opened a bag of laundry detergent, applied it to Leopard Head's body, and started brushing his fur, creating a lot of foam.

"Xiaotian is at the pet hospital and will need to be treated for about a week. I've already spoken with the director and arranged for you to stay here."

Leopard Head: "Third Prince, thank you."

Li Tianbao looked ashamed. "It's my fault. I didn't expect the old phone to vibrate so much. I shouldn't have called you first. It caused you to get wet and the phone to leak electricity."

Leopard Head pouted coquettishly, "Third Prince, I, Leopard Head, didn't know what it was like to be a woman before, but now I do. It's quite nice."

"Good?"

"Good!"

Li Tianbao: "Anyway, I feel really guilty for causing you to get injured. What do you want to eat for lunch? I'll make it up to you and make it up to you."

Leopard Head: "I want to eat carrots and cucumbers."

Li Tianbao: "I'll have the kitchen cook you a plate. Should I add chili peppers?"

Leopard Head: "I'm a sheep, so I can eat raw. If there are no cucumbers, loofah will do, but don't peel it, I like to eat it with the skin on."

"OK!"

Li Tianbao scrubbed and rinsed the sheep clean, then took a bottle of shampoo, squeezed out a large dollop, and applied it to the sheep.

He kneaded the water to create plenty of fluffy, snow-white foam, the splashes landing on Leopard Head's fragrant shoulders, neck, four long legs, and dark, jade-like feet...

"Stick your butt out, I'll give you a rinse!"

"Okay~"

The water gushed out, and Leopard Head shook his body, splashing foam all over his body.

Li Tianbao got splashed with white foam all over his face. "Stop messing around."

Leopard Head: "It hurts a bit from the rinsing, it's not fully healed yet."

Li Tianbao looked distressed. "This is also Xiaotian's fault. I'll have to have a good talk with him later."

After rinsing it thoroughly, the black goat hair was shiny and oily. Li Tianbao took a sniff and was greeted by the scent of orange-scented shampoo.

Leopard Head: "Does it still smell of fish?"

"It's not pungent anymore, it smells great."

Leopard Head asked sternly, "Third Prince, how has your cultivation been these past few days?"

Li Tianbao looked around to make sure no one was nearby, then squatted down and whispered:

"My current cultivation level is just floating in the air, and my eyes are spitting fire. It consumes mana very quickly, so it feels pretty useless."

"I haven't tested my physical limits. I didn't break through those limits when I fought those drug dealers. I signed up for the Wulin Feng competition. If I win, I'll get a prize, and I can also practice my external skills in real combat. I've run out of money, so I need to make some more."

Leopard Head listened patiently for a while, then said, "Go ask your mother for some money, don't go and risk your life in the competition."

Li Tianbao: "I can't open my mouth, I have to earn it myself. Actually, I really want to fight, I really want to fight, it's an instinctive, primal drive! It's a pity that my magical power cultivation is too slow, I really want to get some spirit beasts to supplement it!"

"In my mind, all twelve lotus petals have dimmed. I have been practicing meditation these past few days and I can see one of the petals glowing, but the glow is growing very slowly."

Leopard Head said in a deep voice, "When you absorbed the turtle's primordial spirit and lit up the entire petal, that was theft! At first, Xiaotian and I weren't sure if you could succeed, but you actually did!"

Li Tianbao: "I've been keeping an eye out for any animals emitting white light, but I haven't found any. I plan to rest for a few days, settle you all in, and then go out to look for them!"

Leopard Head said, "The method of stealing the primordial spirit of a spirit beast is a shortcut, but the magic power is ultimately not one's own; once it's used up, it's gone. But it is indeed very useful! However, there are also risks."

Li Tianbao: "What risks?"

Leopard Head's eyes turned serious. "Leaving aside the fact that this violates heavenly laws! Stealing a primordial spirit is essentially forcibly taking it for one's own use, like putting two primordial spirits together to fight. If you're stronger, you win! If he's weaker, he loses!"

Li Tianbao frowned. "You mean, if I'm not as strong as the other person, I might be attacked and harmed?"

"Third Prince, don't worry, those animals emitting white light can't possibly turn against you! The light of spirit beasts is divided into different grades: white, green, blue, purple, and gold."

Li Tianbao suddenly understood, "Different colors of light? So there are even better spirit beasts!"

Leopard Head: "White is the weakest. For you, absorbing a white spirit beast is almost risk-free! Green is also okay. But you need to be careful with the ones above that. Your current cultivation level is too weak, so you can't take any risks lightly."

Li Tianbao: "What if they're equally strong?"

Leopard Head: "Consciousness will merge! The two will become one! This is what the mortal world often calls: schizophrenia, split personality, or something like that..."

Li Tianbao muttered to himself, "You said before that the mortal world is shackled by the Heavenly Dao, cutting off the path to ascension for mortals and spirit beasts. I should have been like you, banished to the mortal realm, and lived my life as a mortal!"

Leopard Head said in a deep voice, "Yes, your master felt sorry for you and used some means to prevent you from suffering in the mortal world. Before Xiaotian and I were demoted, your master repeatedly instructed us to find a way to enlighten you."

Li Tianbao: "Xiaotian said that resurrecting you would be a violation of the Heavenly Laws."

Leopard Head lowered his eyes and said softly, "Yes! The Third Prince has broken the heavenly rules twice for me."

Li Tianbao: "Since I violated the heavenly rules, why wasn't I struck by lightning, or why weren't heavenly soldiers and generals sent to arrest me?"

Leopard Head: "If you don't tell, and I don't tell, and Xiaotian doesn't tell, who will know?"

Li Tianbao pointed to the sky and asked, "Isn't the sky omnipotent and omnipresent? How come I'm completely unaffected?"

Leopard Head scoffed, "Breaking the Heavenly Laws? Back then, Sun Wukong ate the peaches of immortality and stole the elixir of immortality, which was far more heinous than what you did. Why didn't 'Heaven' stop him the moment he took his first bite of the peach?"

"Back then, Yang Jian shot down a phoenix with his slingshot! He split Peach Mountain with his axe! He swore brotherhood with the six Meishan brothers at Guanjiang Estuary, commanding 1,200 grass-root gods who obeyed his commands but not his summons! His hounds could swallow the sun and moon! When he set up his stage at Guanjiang Estuary, which god or Buddha in the heavens dared not give Second Master face?"

After a pause, Leopard Head said, "The Heavenly Laws are meant to restrict poor people like us... baa..."

Li Tianbao nodded. "Yes, in modern terms, Erlang Shen is like a local warlord, and the Jade Emperor is his uncle, so he certainly has the right to be arrogant!"

Leopard Head's eyes struggled. After hesitating for a long time, he said, "Third Prince, if you're going to use this analogy, then when you caused trouble in the East Sea, it was like a warlord's son going to a bathhouse to cause a ruckus. The owner didn't lose his temper on the spot, but the Dragon King, who was a law-abiding citizen, went to the Heavenly Court to sue you. Yet, you beat up the plaintiff on the way."

Li Tianbao said, "Really? When I was a kid, I watched cartoons where the Dragon King was really vicious!"

Leopard Head sighed, a wry smile on his face. "If the animated film is made exactly like the original story, it won't pass censorship!"

"That's true."

Buzz! Li Tianbao's phone buzzed with a message. He glanced at it and exclaimed with delight, "Wow! I made it! That's great! The receptionist said I wasn't eligible!"

The text message was a notification that my registration for the "People's Grand Challenge" competition had been successful.

[Organizing Committee of the People's Grand Challenge] Dear contestant Li Tianbao:

You have passed the registration review for the WLF People's Grand Challenge (2026 City Series - Xincheng Station), registration number: WLF-XC2026-073, and are officially qualified to participate. Please bring the following materials to the Xincheng Sports Center... [Expand]

For details, please follow the official WeChat account of "People's Arena" to check the competition schedule.

"You can eat some grass here, but don't eat the flowers over there. I'm going to ask Dean Yang for leave."

"Okay."

"Leopard Head, you're perfectly safe in the hospital! Nobody will dare bully you, so eat as much as you want!" Li Tianbao was in high spirits as he walked toward the dean's office.

Leopard Head was deeply moved. With the Third Prince protecting him, he could finally enjoy a few days of peace and quiet.

"Meow~~ I'll never be bullied by dogs again."

In the shadows, several patients from Building 4, dressed in hospital gowns, peeked out from behind the wall.

One of the fat men whispered, "Brother Hongwei, that was Li Tianbao, the boss of Building 3. Damn, he can raise sheep in the hospital. Should we mess with him?"

Ma Hongwei is a blond-haired, reckless guy who was never a good person before he came in!

"Damn! The Sixth Academy won't allow such an awesome person to exist!" Ma Hongwei said with a look of jealousy.

Fatty: "I heard Li Tianbao is really strong; even Han Dazhuang can't beat him in a one-on-one fight!"

Ma Hongwei smiled and said, "I'll have the brothers come to my ward for a meeting later. I don't believe he can take on ten men by himself."

"Okay!"

"Wait!" Ma Hongwei said, turning his head slightly. "Go to a delivery website, buy two boxes of condoms, and have them delivered."

The fat man instinctively clenched his buttocks, a bitter look on his face. "Why buy that thing?"

Ma Hongwei looked at the black goat's shiny black rump and licked his lips.

"I need this. Remember, buy the ones with floating-point numbers!"