Crazy Nezha

The uncle, nephew, and dog were eating in the courtyard. The uncle was a very good cook. Li Tianbao soaked the rice in soup and fed it to Xiaotian Dog.

Xiaotian wasn't picky about food, and he ate with loud slurping sounds.

"Tianbao, why aren't you eating fish?"

"Third Prince, may I try the fish head and tail?" Howling Celestial Dog stretched out his head.

Li Tianbao gave the fish head and tail to Xiaotianquan, who exclaimed, "The sea bass is delicious!"

To my second uncle, the husky wasn't speaking; it was making whimpering noises, as if it were possessing its food.

Li Tianbao got up and went back to the kitchen, took a small bowl, poured half a bowl of Maotai sauce, and Xiaotianquan drank it with gusto.

My second uncle's eyelids twitched as he watched, but he remained calm and composed.

From inside the water tank came the call of the bass, "Third Prince, today we reunite with Xiaotian, we should drink to our hearts' content!"

Li Tianbao walked to the water vat, bent down, and asked, "Do you want to drink baijiu or beer?"

The bass swam around once, seemingly weighing something. After a few seconds of consideration, it said, "I'll have some beer. This body is too weak; I'm afraid I'll die from alcohol poisoning."

Li Tianbao went to the kitchen, took two cans of beer from the refrigerator, opened them, and poured them into the water tank.

"Good wine!" "Great!" The dog and the fish were having a lively time.

Li Tianbao sat back down at the small table, picked up his cup, and downed it in one gulp!

"Second Uncle, please treat me as a patient for now. I don't want to pretend in front of you, otherwise I'll get too tired," Li Tianbao said earnestly.

My second uncle was slightly tipsy after a few cups of baijiu.

"Tianbao, when my second uncle was young, gangster movies were all the rage. There were a lot of people involved in the underworld back then, and my second uncle was influenced by them. He even thought about becoming a gang leader in Xiguan Street, carrying a switchblade in his pocket when he went out!"

After a pause, the second uncle took a swig of his drink, smacked his lips, and said, "You young people of your generation read a lot of novels and watch a lot of anime. You've been influenced by time-travel dramas on the internet, wanting to cultivate immortality. That's all bullshit, you know?"

Li Tianbao laughed it off and changed the subject: "Second Uncle, I'm fine. Look at me, I'm perfectly fine, not causing any trouble, just talking to this dog and this fish, isn't that nice?"

The second uncle smiled and shook his head, recalling Dr. Wang's instructions on talk therapy: not to keep negating him, but to go along with him appropriately and guide him slowly.

"Okay, Second Uncle thinks you're perfectly fine, no problem."

At the time, Dr. Wang diagnosed it as long-term work stress, which triggered central auditory disorder, leading to the generation of false auditory signals in the temporal lobe cortex and the formation of pathological auditory hallucinations.

The phone rang, and Li Tianbao found it was his mother, Yin Guizhi, calling.

"Hello, Mom."

On the phone, Yin Guizhi's voice came through: "Tianbao, Dr. Wang just called me again. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. AI can't replace your expertise; it's just a tool for you, you know?"

AI! These two words pierced Li Tianbao's heart like a needle! He studied art design in college, and the first thing AI would disrupt was the fields of concept art, graphic design, and animation design!

Li Tianbao's expertise has become completely useless! A drawing that used to be worth 500 yuan is now worthless, even at 5 yuan. His design company has transitioned to producing short dramas! And Li Tianbao has also transitioned into a short drama actor! He's acted in three short dramas: a domineering CEO, a powerful and arrogant protagonist, and a twisted warlord.

Following this, AI evolved from animated dramas to live-action dramas, and with the massive influx of capital, the short drama industry collapsed! Li Tianbao, who had just finished filming his last drama, hadn't even received his 3000 yuan salary, and was almost out of money to buy fruit!

Thinking of this, Li Tianbao breathed a sigh of relief and changed the subject:

"Mom, as long as I stay with my second uncle, I won't feel any pressure at all. I'm full of hope for the future! How long will you be back from your business trip?"

Yin Guizhi: "There's a medical forum being held in Zhengzhou. I'll be back in about a week. I just got off the high-speed train. Have you guys eaten yet?"

"I'm eating now."

"Give the phone to your second uncle."

Li Tianbao handed the phone over, and his second uncle answered, repeatedly saying "uh-huh" before finally saying, "Guizhi, don't worry, Tianbao's perfectly fine! We steamed sea bass for lunch. Hey, I'm his uncle, aren't you worried? I didn't drink any alcohol."

"Oh, I've quit drinking. I was drinking Rebi! I really didn't drink any alcohol."

My second uncle hung up the phone and asked with a puzzled look, "How did your mother know I drank?"

Li Tianbao took out his phone, opened his second uncle's WeChat Moments, and shoved it in his face. "You took a picture of the food yourself, posted it on WeChat Moments, and included the wine in the picture."

My second uncle raised his eyebrows. "Come on, let's drink!"

Li Tianbao also picked up his cup. "I'll just drink whatever you want, you drink it all." After that, Li Tianbao clinked his cup against the fish tank and then against the dog bowl.

"Leopard Head, Howling Sky, come on, let's all make ourselves at home."

Li Tianbao said, "I can't stay idle at home. The company has a new film, and the script was sent to me yesterday. I want to go to the set for an audition tomorrow."

My second uncle sighed, "Even in this state, you're still thinking about going to work and earning money. There aren't many kids like you with such ambition."

Li Tianbao said, "Short dramas don't require high acting skills, so I'm not tired. This time I played a male villain, and the filming only took a few hours. He was a cauldron in the Hehuan Sect... There were four female leads in total, each one incredibly beautiful, and I had several bed scenes alone."

How much was your salary for this film?

Li Tianbao opened the work group on his phone, looked at it for a while, and said, "My pay this time is 200, and those women get 2000. They'll all get boxed lunches."

"Only 200? What's the difference between that and begging on your knees?" the second uncle said, slightly angry.

Li Tianbao shoved his phone screen into his second uncle's face and played a video to show off to him.

"Look, this is the Hehuan Sect demoness who sucked my blood. 200 is a lot of money, and this is it! So many people want to act with her but don't even have the chance."

My second uncle craned his neck to look. In the video on his phone: a fair, delicate foot broke through the water, water droplets rolling down her ankle, her skin wet and smooth. The camera slowly panned up her calf, from her slender thigh to her flat stomach, to her breasts. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips slightly upturned, and her eyes were dreamy...

A typical internet celebrity face, borderline videos! This kind of thing attracts a lot of views on social media!

"You get paid 200 yuan for acting in a sex scene with this woman?" my second uncle asked.

"Um."

After watching for a while, my second uncle concealed the envy in his eyes and said with a serious expression, "It's fine to make short dramas, but don't make Category III films."

Li Tianbao raised an eyebrow and said, "Our company's short dramas all pass censorship. Can you be serious for once? You're supposed to be an elder."

After thinking for a moment, my second uncle mustered his courage and said, "Are you still looking for a male supporting actor? Could you talk to the boss and ask me to have a cameo role? I can work for free."

Seeing that his nephew remained silent, the second uncle took a sip of wine and explained, "The main thing is that I'm a little worried about you. You're still not well, so I have to go to the film set to protect you."

"..."

Li Tianbao said, "Actually, I wanted to play Nezha, but there aren't any movies like that. Sigh."

My second uncle has a quirk: when he's drunk, he likes to listen to music. He went back inside, took out a Bluetooth speaker, placed it on the table, and connected it to his phone to play an old song.

The melody is very nice. It's a duet, with the woman singing in Cantonese and the man singing in Mandarin. Li Tianbao has been listening to his second uncle play this song a lot lately.

"If I was a bad shepherd, could I try again, just to hug you?" Uncle sang softly along with the melody.

Li Tianbao listened quietly, taking small bites of food and small sips of wine.

The second uncle opened another can of beer for himself, mixed it with baijiu (Chinese liquor), and downed it in one gulp. He wiped his mouth, looked at his nephew, and a tender look appeared in his eyes—

"Tingting, how have you been all these years...?"

Li Tianbao's eyes widened; his second uncle's expression was a little frightening.

The second uncle suddenly came to his senses, realized that the person sitting opposite him was his nephew, shook his head, and changed the subject.

"Your second uncle knows you want to make something of yourself and impress your parents. Your second uncle understands."

"Your dad looks down on the short dramas you act in, he thinks they're embarrassing. I know you're upset about that."

"Nephew, adults ultimately want the best for their children. Don't hold a grudge against your father; he's had a tough time too. There are many ways to relieve stress. How about you fall in love, nephew?"

"I'm not successful in my career, and I don't want to be in a relationship."

My second uncle said decisively, "I think Chen Rui next door is a good girl. She has a stable job and is fair-skinned."

Li Tianbao remained silent. His second uncle, on the other hand, talked about whatever came to mind, saying things that were completely unrelated. His second uncle was drunk.

"I was 17 years old that year. I and a few brothers hitched a ride on a green train to Echeng to make a living. I was young and reckless at the time, and I made a mistake and was arrested and taken to the police station."

Li Tianbao's second uncle had a history of mental illness and liked to mumble when he drank too much, mostly exaggerating. Li Tianbao understood his second uncle, so he stayed with him and went along with him.

"Later, your aunt and your mother came to pick me up and take me home... When we got home, there was an old bayonet that had been captured from the Japanese during the War of Resistance against Japan on the dining table in the main room! Your grandfather sat next to him with a livid face. I knew he was just trying to scare me."

I immediately stretched out my neck and let your grandfather stab me! I doubt he'd dare kill his only son...

Li Tianbao's maternal grandfather had fought in the war, and this house was built by someone hired by his platoon leader. Originally, his grandfather could have gone to a big city, but at that time, he responded to the call to stay in his hometown of Xincheng to participate in construction.

Li Tianbao complained, "In the end, Grandpa still got the injection."

My second uncle gave a self-deprecating laugh, a laugh devoid of hatred, for he had long since let go of the past. At the time, my grandfather had stabbed his stomach, but fortunately, it hadn't pierced any internal organs.

"Second Uncle, you were very...rebellious when you were young, weren't you?"

"Back then, there was no such word as 'rebellious.' Don't be like your second uncle; he's a bad example. It's also your maternal grandfather's fault for giving me such a terrible name, Yin Jianshe. It's not a cool name at all."

The celestial dog barked a few times, "Third Master, your second uncle was really something back then!"

The bass shouted, "Brother Xiaotian is absolutely right!"

Li Tianbao laughed it off, "I wish my grandpa were still alive. When I was little, my parents were always busy, but you and my grandpa never bothered me. He was really good at making clay figures."

My second uncle sighed, "Your maternal grandfather lived to 97; he's had a fulfilling life."

"I'll have some beer to tide me over." My second uncle opened another can of beer.

Li Tianbao pressed down on the cup, "Second Uncle, you can't drink anymore."

My second uncle insisted on drinking, downed half a can of beer, and said in a deep voice, "A few years ago, your mother went to Echeng to fight the epidemic. She was out of contact for 24 days. I knew you couldn't sleep at night. I often suffered from insomnia back then too."

"Your mother is a hero. If your maternal grandfather were alive, he would probably laugh until he cried if he could see her return victorious from the fight against the epidemic in Echeng."

The uncle and nephew listened to music, drank wine, and ate food, unknowingly finishing a bottle of Maotai sauce, and the pleasant lunch ended.

After the meal, Li Tianbao cleared the dishes and poured the leftovers into the dog bowl. Xiaotianquan had perfectly executed the CD plan.

My second uncle lay on the old rattan chair in the courtyard, covered with a thin blanket, fast asleep; he was completely drunk.

Li Tianbao, worried that the sea bass would get too hot, covered the water tank with an umbrella.

After tidying up, Li Tianbao, reeking of alcohol, sat on the steps of the courtyard, his hands supporting his chin. His dog, Xiaotian, lay at his feet. Neither of them spoke; they just sat there quietly.

Li Tianbao unknowingly fell asleep, and in his dream he saw an ancient battlefield—

A female general, dressed in a white robe, looked heroic and valiant. Behind her were three thousand white-clad soldiers, both men and women, who shouted in unison: "Gengzi, the Demon Slayer!"

The white-robed female general turned around, her face showing reluctance yet determination: "Son, wait for your mother to come back."

Li Tianbao was shocked. The white-robed female general looked exactly like his mother! Only she was wearing ancient silver armor! His vision was constantly pulled higher, and from the valley, countless demons surged forth! The three thousand white-clad warriors, like a sharp dagger, pierced into the demonic tide!

The dream scene suddenly shifted, and Li Tianbao saw his father, who appeared to be young and quite handsome! He was wearing camouflage and exchanging fire with drug lords on the Yunnan-Myanmar border.

Li Tianbao wanted to hold onto these dreams; he reached out to grasp them, but the images shattered and then reformed and shifted again.

It's so hot! Li Tianbao's entire body bursts into flames, and he grows three heads and six arms. He sits atop the giant clock of the Electric Power Building, overlooking the city's myriad lights.

After an unknown amount of time, a piercing bark came, which turned into shouts.

"Third Master! Third Prince! Prince!"

Li Tianbao opened his eyes, his blurry vision focusing. The celestial dog was pacing anxiously around the courtyard wall, scratching at it with its paws, trying to climb up.

A large black cat stood on the courtyard wall, a bass in its mouth.

The bass is being held tightly by the cat, its tail thrashing.

"Leopard Head!!"

"It hurts, it hurts! Help..." the bass cried for help, its voice growing more and more painful.

The big black cat, with a fish in its mouth, jumped from the courtyard wall onto the roof!