Crazy Nezha

Li Tianbao's eyes narrowed as he stared at the large black cat, the sound of the bass's screams ringing in his ears!

"Third Master!! Quickly save Leopard Head!" Howling Celestial Dog barked wildly!

The big black cat, carrying a fish in its mouth, stopped on the roof, raised its tail, and looked down without any restraint.

Li Tianbao remained calm, tilted his head back and said softly, "Mimi, be good, give me the fish, and I'll give you a sausage."

The big black cat leaped up the tree with a wary look on its face.

"Don't make me shoot you with a slingshot!"

The black cat turned and ran.

Li Tianbao sprang up in a flash and rushed towards the courtyard wall, climbing it in a few swift steps with agile movements.

This area consists of two- or three-story self-built houses that have not yet been demolished. Li Tianbao chases the cat like a parkour master, running across walls and rooftops, relying entirely on his physical instincts.

"How could I be so amazing??" Climbing walls with my bare hands, running on top of the wall while maintaining my balance, I've never trained at all, how did I do that?

The cat, with a fish in its mouth, climbed up a big tree and jumped onto the rooftop terrace opposite.

The black cat stood on the edge of the rooftop, looked back, pressed down on the bass with one paw, turned its head to the side, and tore off the fish's tail... It tore at the fish's tail right in front of Li Tianbao.

The two rooftops are at least five meters apart!

The tree branch couldn't support Li Tianbao's weight, so the best solution was to jump over it!

Desperate to save Leopard Head, Li Tianbao leaped forward without a second thought!

The cat jumped from its own rooftop to the neighbor's rooftop across the street. Its fur stood on end instantly, it let out a strange yelp, and leaving the fish behind, it scurried away.

Li Tianbao snapped out of his daze, stood on the edge of his neighbor's rooftop, looked down, and a wave of fear washed over him, his eyes widening in shock. "I jumped over here?!"

Sprinting on the ground and then jumping five meters is not difficult for young athletes, but it can be quite frightening on a rooftop.

Moreover, Li Tianbao is an ordinary person with an untrained physique, so his ability to jump like that is beyond normal comprehension.

Li Tianbao muttered to himself, "My extraordinary physique has been objectively proven!"

"Third Prince, water, water..." On the rooftop, the perch jumped with difficulty.

Li Tianbao picked up the sea bass and held it in his hands.

"Leopard Head".

The bass had four bloody holes bitten into its body, one in front and one behind, and most of its tail was torn off. It was on the verge of death, crying out, "Third Prince, it hurts...it hurts so much!"

Li Tianbao was anxious. "Where does it hurt?!"

"My tail... my tail hurts."

"The tail is inside the cat's belly, it doesn't hurt anymore." Li Tianbao thought to himself, "Leopard Head's tail is rotten..."

"Third Prince, I feel like I'm going to die. There's something I lied to you about. That time at the Peach Banquet... do you remember that person...?" The perch gasped for breath. "Water, water, give me water first."

Li Tianbao looked around and saw clothes drying on the rooftop, including women's thermal underwear and long underwear, as well as women's police uniform shirts.

This rooftop belongs to Chen Rui, who lives next door. She was Li Tianbao's classmate in junior high and high school! They are also familiar neighbors in the neighborhood.

Chen Rui was also the nephew's wife chosen by the second uncle. The two families lived next door and knew each other well. The second uncle kept urging Li Tianbao to take the initiative.

In this emergency, Li Tianbao didn't have time to think. He noticed a sink in the corner, ran over, turned on the tap, and put the leopard head into the sink.

The outermost door leading from the rooftop to the ground floor was a dark blue glass door. Li Tianbao pounded on the door and shouted:

"Chen Rui! Are you home?"

"Uncle Chen, Aunt Liu... I'm Li Tianbao..."

Jumping onto someone's rooftop without warning requires courtesy, even if it's an old classmate or neighbor. No matter how close the relationship, you should at least inform them and explain. Li Tianbao is a man who values ​​etiquette!

Moreover, there are Chen Rui and her aunt's underwear, stockings, and other private items hanging on the rooftop. If it's not made clear, it's easy for people to misunderstand!

Li Tianbao called out a few more times, but there was no response. He took out his phone and called Chen Rui.

[Sorry! The user you dialed is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.]

[Sorry!The subscriber you dialed can not be connected for the moment, please redial later.]

Nobody home? And no answering the phone! Sigh, let's not rush to explain. As the saying goes, a clear conscience fears no accusation!

Leopard Head soaked in the water and regained some vitality, but he was still very weak and could die at any moment.

"Third Prince, where is this?"

"This is my friend Chen Rui's rooftop. We're good friends, and it's very safe here."

The perch's voice choked with sobs, "Third Prince, about that time at the Peach Banquet, Shen Gongbao poisoned the wine... I... I know, he used me. I'm so sorry, Third Prince, it's my fault!"

Li Tianbao couldn't relate to his past life; he had no memory of it. At this moment, all he wanted was to save Leopard Head! Saving people was his instinct!

"How am I supposed to save you?! Tell me!"

"You are Nezha, the Third Prince! You have a way! Once you regain your magic power, you can save me!"

"I want to regain my magic power too!!" Li Tianbao thought anxiously. He kept frantically telling himself, "I am Nezha! I am Nezha!"

Li Tianbao picked up the bass from the tank, held it in his palm, and looked at him reverently.

"Leopard Head, I've been transformed into Nezha! How do I save you?"

"Sing!" came the voice of Leopard Head from his palm, accompanied by his cough from dehydration.

Li Tianbao quickly put him back into the sink.

"What should we sing?"

"Sing the lines! Sing the lines from your transformation moment!"

"I can't sing."

"If you can't sing it, just read it! Say all the words out loud."

Leopard Head, panting, stammered:

"Third Prince, I'll say a line, and you repeat it after me."

"good!"

Leopard Head shouted, "I want this sky to never again... block my eyes; I want this earth to never again bury my heart; I want all the Buddhas in the sky... to vanish into smoke..."

Li Tianbao roared, "That's Sun Wukong's line!!"

"Oh right! Oh right, I got bitten by a cat, I'm not fully conscious. I made a mistake, let's try again!"

Leopard Head continued, "Rather than being controlled by others, obey your own will and turn the tide! Open your third eye... Ragnarok..."

Li Tianbao took a deep breath. "Leopard Head, are you doing this on purpose? The one with three eyes is Erlang Shen!"

"Sorry! I confused you three traitors, really confused you... What were your lines? I can't remember, I can't remember..." The bass's voice trailed off...

Li Tianbao muttered to himself, "What are my lines?"

Nezha has so many lines, which one should he recite? Which one best reflects his current state of mind?

Leopard Head proclaimed loudly, "Third Prince, be yourself! Be your true self, and don't care what others think!!"

"In this life, you should respect your own heart at least once! Even if it's just once! No matter how messed up or unrealistic that thought is, at least you did it!"

Li Tianbao suddenly asked, "My second uncle once got drunk and said he wanted to visit a prostitute."

"Then go to a brothel!" the bass roared decisively. "Prejudice in people's hearts is a mountain, Third Prince! What's so special about prostitution? It's a consensual transaction! Do you know how many hypocrites, spouting benevolence and morality, but secretly..."

Li Tianbao's eyes lit up, and he shouted loudly, "Prejudice in people's hearts is a mountain. Whether it's mental illness or Nezha, others don't have to say; only I do!!"

On the rooftop, Li Tianbao looked at himself through the glass door.

Leopard Head: "Try playing...playing Nezha. If you get into character, maybe you'll remember."

"How do you play the role?"

"Try Cospree... see if it works..."

"Cospree? Role-playing!" Li Tianbao said, "We'll take you back first, and we'll buy a Nezha costume online to try it on."

"It's too late, I'm about to die. You'd better start acting now, try it quickly."

Li Tianbao reminisced about what Nezha looked like! There were animated versions when he was a child! There was the Investiture of the Gods version! There was also a live-action Journey to the West version! There was the version directed by Jiaozi and starring Mo Tong! And there was even an adult version from Guanglindou Media.

These characters all share one thing in common: they all wear red underwear! Red bellybands! They all incorporate red elements!

"Hey, isn't this already red?"

"It's just... a little inappropriate." Li Tianbao saw a set of red thermal underwear, a pair of red lace-trimmed panties, and a red bra on the clothesline. It either belonged to Chen Rui, or it belonged to Chen Rui's mother!

"Chen Rui is the same age as me, she's 24 this year, it's her birth year in the Chinese zodiac, so it makes perfect sense that she's wearing red underwear! Looks like she's not her mother's! Is it all fate?"

Li Tianbao thought to himself, "I didn't wear red underwear during my birth year because I didn't believe in superstitions! I should believe in superstitions!"

"Leopard Head, are you sure you want me to role-play?"

Li Tianbao looked around, checking for security cameras or home surveillance. He had to save Leopard Head! He had to save face too!

The houses in this area are of varying heights and sizes. At midday, I doubt anyone would be a pervert looking through binoculars at Chen Rui's rooftop.

"Third Prince, hurry! Hurry! I see your magic weapon! That's not red long johns, that's the Hun Tian Ling!" Driven by his survival instinct, the bass shouted frantically, urging him on.

Li Tianbao took a pair of red long underwear from the clothesline, bit a hole in it, and tore it into a long strip! He hung the red strip around his neck, letting it flutter in the wind!

"Chen Rui's red thermal underwear is also my magic ribbon!"

A strange phenomenon occurred: Li Tianbao felt an itch on the fontanelle on the top of his head, as if seeds were sprouting there...

"It works! Role-playing works! As long as I sincerely believe, miracles will happen!"

"Leopard Head, you're saved!"

Li Tianbao quickly took off his shirt! He took off his pants! He took off his shoes!

Naked, Li Tianbao took off another red thermal undershirt. As usual, he first bit a hole in it, then tore it, making it easier to tear.

I managed to tear it into the shape of a red bellyband, fiddled with it for several minutes, and then put it on!

"Chen Rui's red thermal underwear! It's also my red bellyband! My battle armor!"

In the tank, the bass, tears streaming down its face, choked out, "Congratulations on the return of the Third Prince! Can you sense any movement in the spirit platform?"

Li Tianbao gently shook his head and said calmly, "It's still a bit lacking." He glanced at the red underwear with lace trim—

"Chen Rui's red underwear... I'm not a pervert, I did it to save someone!" After hesitating for four and a third seconds, she decisively removed the lace-trimmed underwear...

Then I shed my last layer of restraint!

On the clothesline, there are four red bra cups, with each red, raised sponge pieced together and tied around the waist, resembling a lotus skirt!

Li Tianbao used strips of cloth as rubber bands to tie two pigtails that pointed upwards! Then, he took off his socks and tossed them behind him with a flourish!

"Two topknots, bare little feet, riding those 'wind and fire wheels,' damn it, there aren't any wind and fire wheels..."

"But here it is!"

He leaned on a clothesline pole, tied a red cloth to the end, stood before the dark blue glass door, and devoutly said, "Fire-tipped spear!"

Li Tianbao stared at himself in the glass door, wearing a Hun Tian Ling (a magical ribbon), holding a fire-tipped spear, and wearing a red bellyband and red apron!

"And you still say I'm not Nezha?"

At this moment, something even stranger happened.