Crazy Nezha

Li Tianbao felt something faintly awakening in the area of ​​his eyes, specifically in the Heavenly Heart Platform!

My head is so itchy! It's so itchy! Something's growing out of my head!!

"It works! Hey! It's useful! It works!"

With a buzzing sound, Li Tianbao had a hallucination. He saw a lively red lump of flesh jumping around in his mind, moving and growing bigger and bigger!

Li Tianbao clearly saw his own brain! And that throbbing red fleshy mat—whose placenta was it if not Nezha's?!

It's him! It's him! It's Nezha.

Li Tianbao's eyes shone brightly as he spread his arms wide, embracing the sky. "I'm not mentally ill at all!! I have Nezha growing in my head!"

I stared at the sky for a full minute, the sun hiding behind the clouds, the light dimming, as if the weather was about to change. Would Chen Rui come back to collect the laundry?

"Who cares!"

"Leopard Head! I have a red fleshy ball in my brain!!" Li Tianbao excitedly returned to the tank, looking at the equally excited bass.

"Third...Third Prince, congratulations, congratulations... Never mind that for now, your spiritual platform should have opened! Now that it's open, you can start cultivating! Please transfer some immortal energy to me to prolong my life."

"How do I transfer my immortal energy?" Li Tianbao asked.

"That's too complicated; you won't be able to learn it in a short time. Let's make it simple! Blow air into my mouth! Blow hard!"

Li Tianbao picked up the sea bass, watching its mouth open and close as it struggled to breathe. At that moment, he hesitated again.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Third Prince, hurry...hurry! I'm in a real hurry! I'm so anxious!"

Li Tianbao used his own mouth to cover the mouth of the bass, puffed out his gills, and blew hard!

The sound of a bass could be heard in my ear, "I'm getting into it, keep going! Blow forty-nine times! Harder!"

Li Tianbao puffed out his cheeks, blew air, puffed out his cheeks, blew air... vigorously blowing on the fish.

With each breath, each opening and closing of his body, Li Tianbao felt the suffocatingly sexy red ball of flesh in his mind throbbing, and streams of mysterious energy swirling within him.

"I sensed celestial energy!!"

After blowing on it about seven or eight times, the sea bass's eyes bulged out!

The gas entered through the fish's mouth, pushed its way through, and got stuck in the duodenum! It seemed to have encountered an obstacle.

Li Tianbao took a deep breath, his neck turning red, and blew with all his might! The fish's anus burst open, spraying out a clump of black thread.

With a scream from Leopard Head, "Ah!! Stop blowing! Third Prince, no, no, I'm going too far, I'm going to lose it!"

Li Tianbao stopped what he was doing. "Leopard Head, feeling any better?"

"I feel much better. Put me back in the water first, I need to rest for a while."

Much better?! Li Tianbao was shocked. It was unbelievable. After blowing a few breaths, Leopard Head's energy and spirit were obviously much better, and he had much more energy to swim.

"Leopard Head, we succeeded? I brought you back to life."

The bass gasped for breath in the water, "I need to rest for a bit, just a bit..."

Just then, footsteps came from downstairs; it was the sound of shoes stepping on the stairs.

Tap tap! Tap tap!

Li Tianbao came to his senses, listened carefully, and was horrified.

"Oh no! Chen Rui is back, she's going upstairs!" If Chen Rui sees Li Tianbao dressed like this, even if he had a mouth full of words, he wouldn't be able to explain himself.

Hiding on someone's rooftop, tearing their thermal underwear to shreds like this, and then wearing it—who wouldn't misunderstand? Who wouldn't call the police?

Even performance art has its limits! If Chen Rui sees this, how will he ever face anyone again?

Li Tianbao looked at his own rooftop across the street, then looked down. It was two stories high, with about five meters between them. He had easily jumped over it when he chased the cat earlier.

Jump back?!

No, Chen Rui will definitely call the police if she finds her underwear is missing! She's a policewoman, after all! Jumping back would only make things more complicated.

Tap tap! Tap tap! The footsteps grew louder as they approached.

Wait! Don't come up here! It'll be so awkward!

Li Tianbao took out his phone and dialed Chen Rui's number. He could vaguely hear Chen Rui's phone ringing below.

The call was answered, and a very pleasant girl's voice came through.

"Hey, Mr. Li, the big star."

Li Tianbao lowered his voice, covering the microphone with one hand, "Chen Rui, are you home?"

"I just got back. The signal on your end is bad, and the sound is very low."

Not only could Li Tianbao hear the voice from the receiver, but he could also clearly hear Chen Rui speaking downstairs! She was probably only a few steps away from the rooftop.

Li Tianbao lowered his voice, his tone serious: "I need a favor! My second uncle drank quite a bit at noon and just called to say he's going to jump off the Xiguan Bridge to commit suicide. You know, my second uncle has a history of mental illness. I'm very worried about him, and his phone is switched off! Are you free to go to the Xiguan Bridge right now to check on him?"

"Oh?! Okay, okay, I'll go right away. Don't worry, I'll call the police for you."

Li Tianbao heard it, and the footsteps quickened, then gradually faded. She went downstairs. She's so kind... I'm so upset!

Li Tianbao quickly said, "Don't call the police yet. My second uncle might be throwing a tantrum and trying to scare me. If it's convenient for you, go check on him first. I just came from the film set and I'm already in a ride-hailing car... Driver, please drive faster!!"

"We're old classmates, why are you being so polite with me? I'll talk to you later." The other party hung up the phone in a hurry.

Li Tianbao crouched on the edge of the rooftop, shifting his body and crouching down to look down.

Downstairs, Chen Rui appeared shortly afterward, walking hurriedly. Sunlight shone on her police uniform, and her high ponytail swayed gently. At this time, she should have just returned from her noon shift.

Chen Rui is tall and has a good temperament. After graduating from police academy, she was assigned to the Laocheng Police Station and is known as the branch's most beautiful policewoman.

She moved swiftly, straddling the electric scooter with her long legs, and rode away briskly.

Watching her retreating figure, Li Tianbao sighed inwardly, "Chen Rui, I, Li Tianbao, will remember this kindness."

"Third Prince, your butt hurts." Leopard Head's voice came from the sink.

"Your butt is bleeding?" Li Tianbao's eyes widened. Blood was oozing from the perch's buttocks, staining the water with red patches.

The bass's voice was filled with pain, "This method won't work! You just opened your spiritual platform, and your spiritual energy isn't enough. I'm afraid you can't save me. I'm really going to die this time. Alas, it's all fate. I have to accept it."

Li Tianbao roared, "Accept my fate my ass! My destiny is in my own hands, not in the heavens! I'll keep bragging to you!"

With a sob in his voice, Leopard Head pleaded, "I can only live for another half hour. Let me die peacefully."

"Let's go to the pet hospital. When I bought Xiaotian Dog, a young girl gave me her business card. Maybe the vet can help."

The bass's eyes bulged, and tears welled up in them. "I'm a bass, not a cat or dog. The vet will think you're mentally ill."

Li Tianbao said, "My second uncle once said that one's background cannot determine a person's ultimate worth! Just because you're a perch and not a famous cat or dog doesn't mean they won't care about you!"

After saying that, Li Tianbao picked up his clothes on the rooftop and found the business card in his pocket. "Tianmei Pet Hospital, I'll make a call and ask."

"Stop hitting me! I have anal fissures. Do you think any ordinary veterinarians can operate on fish? I have another idea!" The bass thought of a risky plan, hesitated for a moment, and then said:

"Third Prince! Whether human, spirit, animal, or immortal, all possess a primordial spirit, which resides within the Heavenly Heart, which is located in the brain!"

"Take my primordial spirit and find a new spirit beast body! Perhaps I can be resurrected! Even if I die, I will have no regrets! But there's a condition: you cannot absorb my primordial spirit. This is a test for you!"

"How do I do it? Explain yourself." Li Tianbao didn't quite understand the technical terms, but he roughly understood that it meant getting the leopard head's soul out and giving it a new body!

"My primordial spirit is about to dissipate, you must retrieve it as soon as possible! After that, ask Brother Xiaotian what to do next, he knows!"

Li Tianbao asked, "How do I bring your primordial spirit out?"

The bass's voice grew weaker and weaker, "My primordial spirit is in my head. You can't do anything right now, so let's use the simplest method: bite off my head, chew it up, and swallow it. My primordial spirit will naturally be stored in your spiritual realm!"

"Would you like to eat your head raw?"

"There's no time to cook! Let's try anything!" the bass choked out. "I believe you can do it. When we return to Heaven, I'll pour you wine and listen to you sing. Third Prince, do you know how beautiful your singing is?"

For some reason, tears streamed down Li Tianbao's face. He was so heartbroken and sad, as if his old friend of many years was about to die.

"Did we often sing together when we were in Heaven?"

Leopard Head smiled, a smile that was both bitter and gratified. "I sang it twice. I have a bad background, I'm a demon, but you didn't look down on me, and you even encouraged me! Back then, I thought, when will I be able to be as carefree as you, Second Master, or the Victorious Fighting Buddha?"

"I really envy the three of you, Third Prince. You know, I dream of becoming someone like you! Fearless of authority, daring to kill and fight. Although you were all suppressed in the end, at least you fought!"

Li Tianbao looked somber. He listened quietly to the fish's story without interrupting, as if listening to an old friend's drunken ramblings.

Leopard Head gazed at the sky, his eyes piercing through the clouds, seemingly landing on the twelve jade futons of Jade Void Palace, murmuring, "Perhaps I should reflect, and stop speaking. Have I, abandoned, deserved this retribution?"

"Leopard Head! I won't abandon you! After you're resurrected, how about we become sworn brothers?"

"Third Prince, I, Leopard Head, have lived a worthwhile life."

The bass raised its voice and roared, "Third Prince! Bite! Bite my head off!"

"Bite!!" "Bite..."

"Pfft!"

The bass could no longer speak...