Journey to the West: Starting with the Hunting of the Three Demons of Twin Fork Ridge

Now, the fool was very dissatisfied when he heard the words of the Buddha Dingguang. He thought to himself, "I was once Marshal Tianpeng, commanding 80,000 naval soldiers of the Milky Way. How come I am not even as good as the White Dragon Horse in the mouth of this Buddha?"

That beast managed to choose three, while I, Old Pig, only managed to choose one. Doesn't that mean I'm underestimating people?

But he didn't dare to contradict the Buddha to his face, so he scratched his ear and said with a forced smile, "If the Buddha says one, then one will do. This old pig is not picky, this old pig is not picky!"

These concubines were all so beautiful that I was overwhelmed. I beg you, Buddha, to guide me and tell me which one I am destined to be with.

Dipankara Buddha smiled slightly and said, "In that case, you may choose for yourself. Once you have taken a liking to one, point it out to me."

Pigsy was overjoyed and quickly turned around, staring wide-eyed as he examined each of the fifteen women.

The five in the first row were all fair-skinned and had faces like peach blossoms; they were truly dazzling.

Pigsy, his eyes gleaming with envy, pointed to the fairest of them all and exclaimed, "Buddha, this one! This one is so fair, I like it!"

Dipankara Buddha nodded and said to the fairest woman, "In that case, would you be willing to become partners with this Elder Pig and cultivate the Dharma of Joy together?"

Upon hearing this, the woman did not reply, but silently turned her back to everyone, remaining silent.

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha sighed and said to Bajie, "Wuneng, she doesn't want to."

Pigsy exclaimed anxiously, "This...why is this? Though I am ugly, I sincerely seek the Dharma!"

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha said, "She dislikes your long mouth and large ears, as they don't suit her aesthetic. Although the Buddha said, 'All forms are illusory,' she is still on the path of cultivation and is inevitably attached to forms. You should choose another one."

Helpless, Pigsy could only look at the women again.

This time, he dared not choose someone too fair-skinned, so he pointed to a tall, graceful woman in the second row and said, "Then this one! This one is tall and looks lucky!"

Dipankara Buddha then asked, "Would you be willing to practice together with Elder Pig?"

The tall woman also silently turned her back to the crowd.

Pigsy was dumbfounded and said, "Why...why is this?"

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha said, "She thinks you are too short and doesn't look good standing next to her."

Pigsy stamped his foot and muttered, "I may be short, but I'm strong! Fine, tall won't do, fair-skinned won't do either, then I'll just find someone else, okay?"

His gaze swept to the third row, where he saw a woman with a graceful figure and long legs. He pointed and said, "That's her! Long legs are fine too!"

Upon hearing this, the woman with long legs silently turned around.

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha said, "She thinks your legs are too short. If you walk with her, other people will laugh at you."

Upon hearing this, Pigsy became anxious and said, "This won't work, that won't work, does it mean I'm destined to be alone today? Buddha, please show me another way!"

The Buddha of Dipankara smiled and said, "Don't be in such a hurry. There is another one in this hall that you haven't tried yet."

Pigsy was taken aback and said, "Who else? Old Pig has already seen them all?"

Dipankara Buddha raised his hand and pointed to the last woman in the third row.

The woman stood in the shadows. Previously, Bajie had been so focused on the tall, fair-skinned women with long legs that he hadn't noticed her.

Upon closer inspection, the woman appeared to have a face as black as the bottom of a pot, a body as short as a winter melon, tiny feet measuring three and a half inches, and thick hands with interlaced fingers.

Pigsy immediately looked distressed and said, "Buddha, this...this is too dark and too short, isn't it?"

The Buddha of Dipankara said, "When you picked the white one, people thought you were ugly; when you picked the tall one, people thought you were short; when you picked the long one, people thought you were short."

Now this one doesn't mind that you're ugly, short, or stout, yet you're complaining about her?

If you continue to be picky, I'm afraid you won't be able to cultivate my Dharma and attain my enlightenment.

Upon hearing this, Pigsy indeed became somewhat anxious.

But then the Buddha of Dipankara said, "Furthermore, if you truly wish to enter my Dharma, you should not judge people by their appearance."

This woman, though unremarkable in appearance, is a true practitioner of spiritual cultivation, far superior to those who are merely superficially attractive.

Upon hearing this, Pigsy thought for a moment and realized that although the woman was dark-skinned and short, she was still a woman, which was better than nothing.

He gritted his teeth, steeled his resolve, and said, "Fine, fine, it'll be her! A little darker skin and a little shorter doesn't matter; with the light out, they're all the same!"

Upon hearing this, Dipankara Buddha laughed heartily and said, "Good! This is truly a person with affinity. In that case, come forward and let me bestow upon you initiation and teachings, and then I will send you two to the room for dual cultivation."

Tang Sanzang, standing nearby, couldn't help but say, "Buddha, isn't this a bit inappropriate?"

Dipankara Buddha smiled and said, "Holy monk, you are unaware of the truth. My Dharma is the secret method of Vajrayana's Supreme Yoga. In the past, Vimalakirti entered various brothels and demonstrated the transgression of lust, which is proof of this."

Tang Sanzang was skeptical upon hearing this.

Upon hearing this, Pigsy was overjoyed and hurriedly ran to the lotus platform, where he knelt down.

Suddenly, the Buddha of Dipankara pulled out a clean bottle from somewhere and splashed water on Pigsy's head with a "whoosh," drenching the idiot from head to toe.

Pigsy shuddered, wiped his face, and hurriedly asked, "Grandpa Buddha, what are you doing?"

The Buddha of Dipankara smiled and said, "Tianpeng, don't be alarmed. This is a sweet dew shower, specially made to purify your afflictions and obstacles."

Pigsy asked, "If we eliminate it, can we then cultivate together?"

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha said, "The timing is unknown, you must purify yourself first."

Upon hearing this, Pigsy was shocked and jumped up, exclaiming, "What? Castration! Isn't this supposed to be dual cultivation? Why are you castingrate me, old pig?!"

Dipankara Buddha said, "No, no, this purification is not the same as that purification. It is to wash away your worldly air so that you can purify your innate ego and attain the wisdom of emptiness."

Pigsy asked, "How do I purify myself?"

Then, the Buddha Dipankara shouted, "Myo-Se, Myo-Ku, bring the Dharma treasure!"

As soon as they finished speaking, the blue-faced monk and the white-faced monk came out from the back hall.

The blue-faced monk was carrying a vermilion tray with a small steamer on it, steaming hot; the white-faced monk was holding a precious mirror, its surface gleaming.

The blue-faced monk placed the pot on the ground, blew on it, and instantly the pot expanded to a size of twelve feet in diameter and several feet in height.

The white-faced monk also threw the mirror into the air, and a ball of real fire shot out, causing the main hall to swelter with heat.

Upon seeing the steamer, Pigsy's expression changed drastically. He exclaimed, "Buddha! What does this mean? Are you going to steam this old pig?"

Dingguang Huanxi Buddha laughed and said, "It is indeed necessary to steam it. But don't worry, this is the method of nine steamings and nine sun-dryings, a secret of our Buddhist sect."

Each time I steam you in my pot, you shed a layer of worldly air; each time I sun you in my mirror, you gain a bit more clarity of emptiness.

After nine rounds of steaming and drying, you will be completely transformed and ready to join my school.

Before Pigsy could say anything more, the blue-faced monk stepped forward and, without a word, shoved him into the steamer and slammed the lid on.

Flames rose from under the pot, and steam billowed from within.

The fool howled in the pot, "Ouch! It's scalding the old pig! Buddha, Buddha! The old pig won't fix it! Won't fix it!"