Marvel Magic Case Files

Chapter 335 A Farce of a Victory (Second Update! Please Vote!)

The Rainbow Bridge carried Thor and Salomon through several worlds, but no one expected Heimdall to throw them onto Earth. Currently, the Dark Elves seem to be quite adapted to Earth's environment; the fresh air of the forest after a summer rain seems to invigorate the cursed warriors, while Salomon is constantly at a disadvantage in close combat.

During one of the cursed warrior's punches, the arcane mage had to raise his longsword to block the attack. The result was predictable: the centurion's longsword was bent, and Salomon crashed into the wet bushes. Branches broke beneath him, and he nearly choked on his breath.

"Croak—"

"You're right." Salomon agreed with the old frog near the pond, discarding his longsword and picking up the frog. But he didn't even have time to brush the mud off himself, because the cursed warrior, like a rampaging tank, rolled through the bushes and charged towards Salomon.

The sorcerer lifted a frog and hurled it at the cursed warrior's face. Suddenly, the warrior stumbled back two steps as if he had hit an unseen obstacle. The whistling sound of something cutting through the air rang out again, and a hammer emerged from the bushes, slamming the cursed warrior into the green pond—his black armor was now covered in algae, a glistening, oily green.

"Are you alright?" Thor descended from the sky, greeting Salomon. The arcane mage merely rolled his eyes. If time weren't so pressing, he would have asked Thor where he'd been! "Sorry," Thor himself said, "I was knocked off the Rainbow Bridge as I approached Earth, and I just found you."

"Fantastic!" Salomon pointed to the cursed warrior who had risen from the pond, steaming from his body, the algae on his skin rapidly turning yellow and clumping together. The product of the dark elves' ethereal particles was constantly burning away his life force, the intense heat being its outward manifestation.

"That guy is yours now," the arcane mage said. "I don't have many casting materials left, so I can't offer much support."

"Leave it to me." Thor stretched out his hand, and Mjolnir returned to his grasp. "I still have a score to settle with him!"

"Wow, cool! That must be Thor, I see him with his hammer!" Dani whispered, peering through the bushes at the pond. This pond was where they often played, and now this ordinary place was witnessing a "battle between good and evil"—or so Newton put it.

Before they arrived, they had thoroughly examined the scorch marks on the ground. Except for Anduin, no one cared that their secret base had been destroyed. "The agents will come, it's S.H.I.E.L.D., I've heard of them," he said dejectedly. "They'll come in black sedans, and this place will become a secret government base—they'll say it's requisitioned, and it'll never be open. And we might get brainwashed, maybe turn into idiots. Maybe the whole town will turn into idiots."

"Even if I become an idiot, I still want to see Thor fight!" Dani retorted defiantly. "Being an idiot is actually a smarter thing for many people in town!"

But the possibility Anduin mentioned still made Newton's legs go weak.

"Who do you think that person in the red robe is?" Newton, the bespectacled boy, finally mustered his courage. Since he was going to become an idiot anyway, it wouldn't hurt to know a little more before he did; the government wouldn't believe them anyway. "Could he also be an Asgardian?"

"No, he's not..." Dani's eyes widened as she looked at the multicolored lights shimmering in Salomon's hands, her eyes lighting up as well. "He's a wizard!"

In Salomon's hands, fire was art. He shook a small bell that could drive a budgie mad (he kept his usual stuff in his trouser pocket), and then tiny streams of flame began to swirl and rise from his hand, eventually forming a tall flame that blossomed into a beautiful flower at its top. Then, a large, golden-red bird spread its wings and emerged from the fiery blossom. Phoenix tossed a small leather pouch to Salomon, giving the sorcerer a chance to replace the tattered one on his belt.

This was his spare dimensional bag; it didn't contain as many spellcasting materials as the previous one, but it was enough. Then he took out a large-caliber pistol with a distinctly industrial style.

While the Cursed Warrior and he were locked in combat in Asgard, Frigga and Sif tried to intervene. Malekith, who had been subdued, seized the opportunity to counterattack, lunging at Jane Foster behind the sorcerer—only to find it was a phantom created by Frigga. Malekith then mistook Salomon for the one carrying the Aether, since he was closest.

During the fight, it's unclear whether Malekith or the cursed warrior tore open Salomon's dimensional bag, causing everything inside to spill out. In an instant, the room was filled with books, potions, glass bottles containing all sorts of unidentified objects, gears, feathers—a chaotic jumble of things that significantly increased the difficulty of the battle.

Few people pay attention to the little things under their feet during a fight.

However, the Cursed Warrior and Malekith weren't much better off; Sif picked up several vials of potions of unknown purpose and threw them at them. In the interaction between the various potions, Malekith and the Cursed Warrior successfully contracted herpes.

The pond was now brimming with electricity, foul steam and silt flying everywhere. Thor and the Cursed Warrior were locked in a fierce struggle in waist-deep water, with all sorts of aquatic creatures floating belly-up. Salomon hoped the Cursed Warrior's herpes would cause him some trouble and create opportunities for Thor to attack—the Cursed Warrior scratched his body through his armor, indicating that the herpes was indeed a major problem, for all creatures. And it seemed the Cursed Warrior wouldn't be rid of his annoying skin condition anytime soon; considering the Cursed Warrior's characteristic high temperature, his skin condition must be terrible.

Pain is tolerable, but itching is not.

With Phoenix's help, the battle went smoothly. Although Thor and the Cursed Warrior fought their way from one end of the pond to the other, the song sung by the large bird successfully distracted the Cursed Warrior, and Thor's ears were blocked by Salomon's spell, so he couldn't hear anything.

Thor seized the opportunity and struck the cursed warrior twice on the head, the force even denting his helmet. After more than ten minutes of effort, Thor finally managed to pin the cursed warrior to the pond—Salomon had reminded Thor to do this when a black collar was wrapped around the warrior's neck (a second-circle spell, Binding Whip, whose casting material is a wasp from the ground. Its effect is to continuously weaken the warrior's constitution).

He would drown as soon as he needed to breathe. The dizziness from the hammer blows and Phoenix's song left the Cursed Warrior almost powerless to resist. Thor placed the hammer on the Cursed Warrior, who couldn't even roll over. After the scorching steam dissipated, Thor picked up the hammer and pulled the drowning Cursed Warrior from the bottom of the water. He delivered one last blow to make sure the guy wasn't faking death—no one can survive with their head smashed, and the Cursed Warrior was no exception.

Thor walked ashore, panting, and then sat down on the muddy ground, motionless. The battle had exhausted him, especially the algae clinging to his hair; he didn't even have the strength to squeeze the dirty water out of it.

"Croak—"

"Yes, you're right." Salomon nodded, agreeing with the sole survivor in the pond.

"Do you think that wizard is an Avenger?" Dani asked her companions huddled under the bushes. "I've only seen the Avengers once, on TV. I think he's a newbie, and Thor is teaching him how to fight bad guys. That's how it is at my dad's company; the senior employees teach the new ones. I bet they're doing the same thing!"

"Maybe it's an alien..."

"You're so stupid, Thor is an alien too..."

Nobody recognized it as a reference to "Good Omens"! I'm so angry!

(End of this chapter)