Huayu 02: The Days of Extreme Pulling and Rolling with the Fairy

"Joyfully we gather on the banks of the Fen River, huddled together in central and southern Shanxi, weeping and wailing in the Lüliang Mountains, even in death we cannot cross the Yanmen Pass."

Old Xie was singing with great enthusiasm while gripping the steering wheel.

"Da, can we get a new car? I'll buy it for you."

The dialects vary from place to place in Lüliang, and the terms for father are very diverse, including 爹 (diē), 父 (fù), 达 (dá), 爷 (yé), 大 (dà), and in a very small area, 哥 (gē).

Old Xie snorted and slapped the steering wheel: "Is this car so beautiful? You coward, now that you're a star, you think you're all that, and you can't stand drinking the water from our Fen River anymore?"

"No, Da, that's not fair. Is it appropriate for you and my mother to put me and the piglet in your pockets while we're sitting in the car?"

"Oh my, your kid's got some serious pampering now. Whose child can't sit in the back? Here, drape this over your head, you better watch out for me, you pig."

As he spoke, Lao Xie tossed a military overcoat behind him.

Xie Jin was wrapped in a coat, her snot dripping from the cold. The big white pig next to her was grunting. Xie Jin didn't dare to talk back to her parents, so she teased the pig, "What are you grunting for? I'll eat you in a minute."

This look isn't much better than Brother Sharp's, and I don't have to worry about being recognized.

If you're still quite well-known in the small city of Linfen, you'll basically lose your fame once you're in the Lüliang Mountains.

Sure enough, outside they're Mike, Tom, and Christina, but back in the village they all become Shuanzi and Erwa...

Xie Jin was sometimes speechless at Lao Xie's stinginess. They had opened three restaurants; even if they weren't super rich, they could afford a car. If Lao Xie was reluctant to spend money, Xie Jin could buy him one herself.

But Old Xie was unwilling, feeling that this Chang'an mini-truck was particularly suitable for hauling both goods and people, and he thought his son was too hot-tempered.

..........

Speaking of Xie Jin's hometown, Liujialing in Lüliang, it's a place where you have to climb a slope to get out and go down a slope to get in; it's so poor it's practically urinating blood.

The Lüliang Mountains and hills account for 92.8% of the area, and the area is divided into countless small pieces by gullies and ravines.

Arable land is scarce and scattered. The older generation says that no grain grows on the Lüliang Mountains, only stones and ephedra. Some elderly people have never eaten white flour in their entire lives.

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This is why Lao Xie wanted to develop his career in Director Xu's hometown of Linfen. The Lüliang Mountains couldn't support people, so everyone who could leave left. In the past, men went to the border regions and women dug for wild vegetables; now they go to the city to work.

Old Xie got out of the car to relieve himself, and Xie Jin, with his hands in his pockets, asked, "Da, we don't have any relatives left in our hometown, why do we insist on going back to the mountains?"

"You coward, don't you think about how the elders in the mountains celebrate the New Year? Your grandfather was an outsider who fled here during the famine. How much did the village elders help him? If it weren't for the last piece of bread left in the village, where would I be, where would you be? Can't you forget your roots?"

"Oh, how should I put it? Well, we should go back then."

Xie Jin then understood why Old Xie was so enthusiastic, hauling both New Year's goods and pigs.

Lüliang was poor to begin with, but the surrounding provinces were not rich either. In the past, there were frequent wars in the Central Plains and floods in the Yellow River. In basically every year of disaster, there were refugees who would enter Shanxi and Shaanxi provinces.

Although Lüliang was poor, it basically did not expel displaced people.

The noodles that people in Shanxi Province fed to refugees fleeing famine were originally called "Famine-Fleeing Noodles," but they later felt that the name was too unpleasant, so they called them "Peach Blossom Noodles."

My grandfather fled to Shanxi Province, where the villagers helped him survive.

After going uphill and downhill, and rushing as fast as I could, I finally made it back to Liujialing.

As Xie Jin listened to the sound of cars, many elderly people stood by the roadside with their children watching, and her childhood memories slowly surfaced.

When I was a child, the village seemed very big, but now it looks so small.

Old Xie recognized his elders and called them "Big Auntie" and "Big Auntie," and the village elders took a moment to react.

"You must be Xie Laoguai's son. This is his wife and son."

"Yes, yes, I fled here during the famine. Our village gave me peach blossom noodles, and I settled down here. I haven't been back for the past two years."

The village elders finally confirmed that they were indeed villagers, the only family from outside the village.

The village children looked timidly at the newcomer with their big eyes. The village secretary, holding a chipped bowl, said, "Drink, drink."

Xie Jin looked around and found that although the village was poor, it was actually quite lively.

Now many families have moved to the county town, and the village population has decreased significantly; it's mostly elderly people and children now.

"Second Uncle, why are there so few people in our village?"

The Party Secretary is over eighty years old. He is a veteran who served in the government and fought against India. He walks with a slight limp but is still quite energetic.

"Some moved, some moved to the city, why did you all decide to come back?"

Xie Jin didn't understand why her father wanted to come back, but once she got here, she understood. Her family was so poor that it was practically bloody, and probably not many families could have a decent New Year.

Old Xie pulled his son aside: "You coward, do you think it's appropriate for me to hold a feast for the village? Look at your second uncle, his tattered clothes are letting in the wind."

Xie Jin nodded: "I'll do it. I'll give you the money by the fifth day of the new year."

"Grandpa, are Da and I planning to throw a feast for our village to celebrate?"

The village secretary was somewhat taken aback. "Shit-dan, do you know what you're saying? Our village still has nearly 200 mouths to feed. Wouldn't a feast cost several thousand yuan?"

Σ(°ロ°)！！ Second Master, how come you still remember my name is Shit Egg!!

Aren't you already eighty?!

"Yes, Second Master, please gather everyone to help. I've prepared the money; send someone to the county to buy supplies."

As she spoke, Xie Jin took an envelope out of her bag.

·······

·······

Xie Jin lay huddled in the kang (a heated brick bed), shivering from the cold, her face and shoulders pressed against the phone.

"What are you doing, little girl?"

The big hamster was playing with Captain Huang at home when it heard Xie Jin speaking in dialect and burst out laughing: "Speak Mandarin, I don't understand. What are you doing? Are you having fun?"

Xie Jin glanced out the window and saw the aunties chatting and laughing as they picked vegetables, while the old men helped put them into the oil pan.

My mom bought new clothes for the kids in the nearby town. The children were running around like crazy; this is what makes it feel like Chinese New Year!

"It's lively here, with fried sesame seeds and fried dough twists."

The big hamster squeaked and clicked its tongue against Captain Yellow's little dog mouth, bored: "This is so boring for me, thank goodness for Captain Yellow."

As the two were chatting, a dozen or so snotty-nosed children rushed into the room and surrounded Xie Jin's kang (heated brick bed), the oldest being about 10 years old and the youngest four or five.

"Brother Shitball, tell us more about Xiao Yan."

Xie Jin froze completely...

Σ(っ°Д°;)っ“Who...who told you my name is Shit Egg...."

Second Grandfather

The person on the other end of the phone was already laughing so hard they were convulsing: "Shit Egg Bro!! Hahahaha!! I won't call you Dog anymore!"

"Enough already!! Don't call me Shitball Bro."

┭┮﹏┭┮My embarrassing history........

The little girl with pigtails pouted and looked like she was about to cry. Xie Jin panicked and blurted out, "Don't cry, don't cry, Brother Shit-Dan is just playing with you. Come on! Let's go to the convenience store!"

The big hamster said from the other end of the line, "Don't hang up!"

"I'm hanging up."

"No way! Otherwise, after the New Year I'll tell my senior brother your nickname is Shitball."

"The most venomous heart is that of a woman!!"

Upon arriving at the convenience store, Xie Jin, hands on her hips, demonstrated to the children what it meant to be a domineering boss in a mountain village.

"Auntie! Fork all the snacks in the shop for me, I want them all!"

At this moment, Xie Jin was shining brightly in the children's eyes...

Three or four women were peeling garlic when one of them touched Xie Jin's forehead and said, "You little punk, have you been drinking too much air?"

"Auntie, please stop calling me 'Shitball,' I beg you."

Another auntie said, "Is a poop ball just a poop ball? If you put sheep dung in the pot thinking it's black beans, will your father chase you all over the village and beat you up?"

"Auntie, I was wrong, I was wrong, okay? I won't say it anymore, someone's eavesdropping." Xie Jin said, holding up her phone, and a silvery laugh came through the receiver.

(≧ω≦) "Sheep dung balls! Hahaha, black beans!! Hahaha, poop balls!"

Upon hearing that a girl was on the other end of the line, the aunt's gossipy nature ignited: "Shitball? It's a girl? You're dating someone?"

Another aunt nodded in agreement: "He must be dating someone. There's no one as handsome as Shit-dan in all around. He must be dating someone."

"Why didn't you bring him back so I could see him?"

On the other end of the phone, a hamster sat with its legs crossed, munching on shrimp crackers: "What does 'dating' even mean, Shit-dan?"

Xie Jin ignored her. "Auntie, we're not friends. I'm still in school."

"Of course! Nonsense, people younger than you already have kids."

Xie Jin quickly pressed down the money, saying, "Auntie, I'll pay for whatever they eat." Unable to resist, she quickly ran away.

ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ "Why are you ignoring me! What do you mean we're not friends?!"