Huayu 02: The Days of Extreme Pulling and Rolling with the Fairy

The voice on the other end of the phone was halting and a little slurred.

"Speak up, Xie Jin!"

Xie Jin clutched her head. Oh no, Miss Liu must have drunk too much... How come she has so many shows every day?

How much did you drink?

Xiao Liu leaned against the headboard, his eyes blurry with drunkenness, looking at Captain Huang. Captain Huang was unsteady on his feet, his legs trembling so badly he could barely stand.

"Half...half a bottle...burp"

Xie Jin felt relieved; half a bottle of beer wasn't a big deal, and he could just pee it out.

"Half a bottle of what? Coke or Harbin beer?"

"Maotai... hiccup... hiccup..."

Σ(っ°Д°;)っ

  

"What did you say? You drank half a bottle of Moutai? Who were you drinking with? Where are you?"

Xie Jin's heart tightened; it was too dangerous for the young lady to be out drinking like this.

Xiao Liu wrinkled his nose: "Why are you being so fierce?"

Xie Jin coaxed softly, "My dear, I won't be mean anymore. Just tell me where you are."

"Hiccup... I drank with Captain Huang in bed... Captain Huang, stand at attention!!"

Phew~ what a scare!

Poor Lao Huang...

Captain Huang's inner monologue

【┭┮﹏┭┮！！ Ah Xie, please take me away. I'd rather dance with you under the streetlights than serve her anymore】

[It must be so hard for them to eat this little bit of dog food. They have to dress up as women, steal snacks every day, and now I'm even swimming and drinking with them... Do you think it's easy for Inu-chan? I'm not clean anymore!]

Upon hearing that she had been drinking with Lao Huang, Xie Jin breathed a sigh of relief: "Do you feel like throwing up? Go find Auntie and throw up, otherwise you might suffocate if you throw up while you're asleep."

The big hamster is feeling rather unhappy right now, fueled by the alcohol.

"Mind your own business... hiccup... You and I aren't even friends."

"What's wrong with you now? I'm sorry, go throw up."

The big hamster pouted: "Hiccup...hiccup...liar..."

Why would I lie to you?

"You know it yourself!"

Xie Jin was amused and annoyed: "Come on, tell me what happened."

The big hamster choked and choked for a while before asking in a low voice, "Hiccup... I... I'm asking you, when are you going back to Beiping?"

"Let's get through the New Year."

"Then...before you go back to Beiping, will you visit any other cities...?"

Xie Jin couldn't understand why she was saying "No" so incoherently.

"Liar! You were clearly going to Taiyuan for a blind date!"

.........

.........

The phone went silent. Even with the alcohol on his face, Big Hamster's face turned red, and Old Dog Xie's heart was pounding.

Xie Jin said softly, "If you just say one thing that you don't want me to go, I won't go."

"real?"

"Um"

The hamster's face turned bright red, even its earlobes were red.

"I...I don't want to."

Xie Jin chuckled: "Then I'll be good and not go."

"I...I didn't mean anything by it, you stupid...stupid dog, don't have any unrealistic fantasies..."

"I...I just think you're naive and easily fooled by bad women...Think about it, you still have to go to school...and work..."

"Besides... what kind of person goes on blind dates at such a young age? What if you end up losing both your money and your partner?"

Xie Jin suddenly blurted out on the other end of the phone, "I didn't ask, what are you explaining?"

"I...I...I!! You're the worst!!"

Beep beep beep!!

······

······

Xie Jin looked at the night sky outside the window. This year's New Year was... really good.

Just as I was about to go to sleep, my phone buzzed again.

.....

"Happy New Year"

Xie Jin smiled happily when she saw the message.

"You too, go throw up before you go to sleep."

........

........

"┭┮﹏┭┮Thank you, I shouldn't have listened to you!! I went to throw up and my mom found out!! I'm not saying anything more, she went to get the feather duster."

Long live Auntie... The beating wasn't enough...

··········

"Drinking? Why did you come inside so early? You must be asking for a beating!" Liu Xiaoli laughed angrily.

┑(￣Д￣)┍ "I'll drink it, Lao Liu, you decide what to do."

.......

"┭┮﹏┭┮Mom, stop hitting me! It was Captain Huang who forced me to drink it!! It's him! He's not a good dog, he's the one who egged me on. Don't you know Captain Huang is the best at stealing snacks?"

Σ(っ°Д°;)っ: "Liar!! Liar!! Inu-chan didn't! She's just taking advantage of my inability to speak properly!!"

Captain Huang was so anxious he was about to speak human language; he was practically on the verge of becoming a spirit.

··········

··········

For the next two days, Xie Jin didn't have much to do; he just rested and acted as the king of the kids.

By controlling the amount of snacks he receives, he is now the eldest brother to all the children in the village.

For the children, let's start with the Monkey King of Flower Fruit Mountain and talk about whether or not Snow White is a suitable person to date.

For the first couple of days after I got home, Lao Xie was quite fond of me, but these last two days he's started to get annoyed...

"You're going on a blind date tomorrow, so get ready."

"I'm not going to Da."

Old Xie started unbuckling his belt: "Damn it! I've already spoken to everyone. That girl is going to study in Beiping and will come back to help manage the family business. She's well-educated, beautiful, and looks like she's from a painting. She's more than a match for you."

"Da, look how good she is, don't let her suffer here. Your son is hopeless."

"That won't do. If someone is a fan of yours and hears it's you, they'll have their father contact me. You've always agreed to that before."

Seeing this, Xie Jin had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "Da, to tell you the truth, I have someone in my heart."

Upon hearing this, Old Xie put down his belt, and Old Mom also put down her shovel.

The old woman tossed Old Xie's belt aside and sat down next to her son: "Tell me, tell me. Do you have any photos? Have you started dating?"

"Mom, what's the rush? We're getting to know each other right now. She's a few years younger than me, so there's no need to rush..."

Upon hearing this, Director Xu thought that as long as his son was telling the truth, everything would be fine: "Do you have any photos?"

Xie Jin blushed and took out his wallet, inside which was a photo of Miss Liu wearing a white dress at the beach.

Director Xu looked at the photo suspiciously: "Huh, how come this girl is like a fairy who would fall for you?"

Old Xie took a look, then slapped his son on the head: "You think your father's a caveman! Isn't this Dong Qing! Trying to fool your dad with a celebrity!"

Xie Jin was both angry and amused...

"Dad...Dad...you're making me laugh...I'm a celebrity too, what, am I an adopted child?"

Director Xu rolled his eyes: "Ignore your dad, he only knows Dong Qing."

Old Xie muttered under his breath, feeling wronged: "You still think Zhao Zhongxiang is handsome... Everyone's a beauty when they're young. Can Zhao Zhongxiang compare to me?"

Director Xu covered his mouth, his eyes crinkling with laughter: "You know what, even though your dad's balding now, he was way more handsome than you are now when he was young."

Xie Jin's lips twitched. He could hardly imagine that Old Xie, who had become overweight and bald and looked a bit like Xie Guangkun, was now in his throes.

He'll be handsome when he's young...

He always thought he was handsome because he inherited it from Director Xu.

Honestly, in terms of looks alone, my mother is definitely no less attractive than my mother-in-law; she just has a few gray hairs at her temples from all the hard work.

Seeing that his son didn't believe him, Director Xu pulled out a photo...

.......Σ(°ロ°)

Is this my father? Xie Guangkun made a miraculous transformation?

He's handsome...

This guy is even more handsome than Tang Guoqiang in this photo... This pretty boy must be my dad.

Old Xie looked at his photo and felt pleased for a while.

She gave a haughty snort: "If you're not lying to us, then going on a blind date tomorrow is going to be tough on you..."

"Yes, yes, Dad is still reasonable. I knew Dad had to make the decisions in our family."

.........

Old Xie Zhengmei suddenly felt something was off. This kid was being so obsequious all of a sudden, who knows if what he was saying was true or false?

Xie Jin thought it was all over and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

Unexpectedly, Lao Xie countered with a question: "But how can I know you're not lying to me?"

"I...."

.........

hum~~~

Xie Jin glanced down at the caller ID: "Invincible Iron Bull." Oh no, it's Big Hamster...

You must have telepathy, why are you making this phone call?

Old Xie squinted. "Aren't you going to answer?"

"No need... colleague... nothing's wrong."

Liu Yifei raised her eyebrows and exclaimed, "Oh no! How dare you hang up on me!"

hum~~~

Old Xie looked at his son, a half-smile on his face, "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"No...no, I think."

Oh my god! (`Д´)ﾉ!! You dare hang up on me again!!

hum~~~

The third phone call... Before his son could even try to fool him, Old Xie roared, "Answer it, you son of a bitch!!"

┭┮﹏┭┮Oh

The call just connected.

A bright and energetic voice almost leaped out of the phone...

"You bastard!! How dare you hang up on me! When are you coming back? Let's go to the temple fair!"

Xie Jin coughed twice in an affected manner, "Cough cough!!"

Old Xie immediately glared at him.

"Hey, Shit-dan, why are you coughing? Do you have a cold? Is it cold back home? Did you catch a chill?"

Old Xie and Director Xu exchanged a glance, and Xie Jin's mother's expression was priceless.

That voice sounds so natural and poised; you can tell at a glance it's from a good child. It's exactly what I wanted...

Director Xu's mind was already wandering to the image of herself sitting on the sofa, with a little baby crawling on her lap and calling her "Grandma".

Old Xie could already picture himself sprawled on all fours, with his grandson riding on him and peeing all over his neck.

"Ahem, I'm going back in a couple of days, so I'll talk to you later."

"ah"

.........

Old Xie squinted: "Who told you to hang up without saying anything? How rude! Xiao Ni called you, and you acted like this."

Director Xu pushed up his glasses, a cold glint flashing in his eyes: "I think you've had enough. Pack your clothes and get back to Beiping. Remember to take that girl to the temple fair."

???