The mistress who remarried has returned.
Chapter 56 She wasn't pretending.
Su Yunxi's heart pounded faster and faster. She never expected to be caught red-handed, especially not through the broken edge of the scissors. She felt like she deserved to die.
Su Yunxi subtly gathered the cloak into a ball and held it to her chest, but the cloak was so big that even if she didn't make a fuss, he could still see what she was up to.
She stood there tightly hugging the cloak, which was crumpled up, carefully covering up the tears and holding it close.
She had originally guessed that Qin Huai was always careful about his reputation and knew how to maintain proper boundaries. He never got close to or showed favoritism towards court officials, let alone lower himself to such an outrageous act as entering the backyard of an official's residence late at night through a side gate. In her plan, if he hadn't seen the cloak being taken out of the trash can, it would have been easier to explain. She could have simply said that she was considering his reputation and couldn't keep the cloak without permission, so she destroyed it and planned to bury it. That would have been a good way to get through the situation.
But now, he doesn't know how to explain why he would do something like throwing something in the trash can, something that is fundamentally a defilement or even a humiliation for him.
He no longer treated her as kindly as before, no longer addressing her with gentle terms like "you" and "me," but instead using sarcastic terms like "master" and "lower servant," clearly indicating that he was enraged.
She thought she was completely finished.
"Qin Huai... let me clarify." Su Yunxi felt a chill run down her spine instinctively. Her fear of those in power made her tremble in the biting winter night. She felt like she was making a defense. "Please don't be angry."
"Just clarify it," Qin Huai said, approaching Su Yunxi step by step. "I'm curious."
Su Yunxi retreated step by step until her back touched the bronze mirror, with nowhere to avoid it. She hugged her indigo cloak to her chest, holding it tighter and tighter.
Qin Huai reached out and pulled the indigo cloak from her arms, his voice soft and gentle, "Let me see."
Su Yunxi was so nervous she could barely breathe. She clutched the cloak tightly, not allowing him to look closely, lest he see it clearly and become even angrier. Although he had already seen the whole process of her picking the cloak out of the trash can, tearing off the rotten vegetable leaves and blowing off the dust, there was nothing to hide. But there was no need to look closely at the damage.
Su Yunxi said, "I don't want to show it to you."
"Why won't you show it to me? Isn't this my cloak?" Qin Huai grabbed her slender wrist, his fingers leaving marks on her delicate skin, causing Su Yunxi to wince in pain.
"I just don't want to show you. You're hurting my wrist..."
"If you obediently hand over your cloak, your wrist won't hurt anymore."
With a forceful pull, Su Yunxi was in real pain and could no longer hold onto the cloak. Qin Huai used his other hand to pull the cloak out of her arms and carefully examined the five or six tears on the cloak, including the loose threads at the damaged areas, as well as the traces of rotten vegetable leaves and the grassy smell of the leaves.
Qin Huai's fingers, gripping the cloak so tightly that his knuckles turned white, were checking the cloak's condition over and over again, as if to confirm that this was truly happening.
Su Yunxi didn't want him to keep looking at the cloak, so she reached out to snatch it away.
Qin Huai pulled the cloak back a little and continued to examine the several torn areas. After looking at it for a long time, he finally fixed his gaze on Su Yunxi's face. "So, Master hasn't been sleeping with the cloak in your arms and smelling my scent these past two or three days? Your delays weren't because you couldn't bear to return it, but because you had no way to do so."
Su Yunxi's heart skipped a beat, realizing that he must think that all those passionate words in her youthful love letter were a lie, a ploy to get close to the Crown Prince. "Qin Huai, the reason I destroyed the cloak was because..."
"Because you're worried that seeing the cloak in this condition, I won't send a doctor from the Crown Prince's Palace for a follow-up examination and to continue the medication. You're worried that even though you've been hit by six arrows, I'm heartless and will break my promise, right?"
"That's not how it works."
"Was it comfortable when you slept with him?"
Su Yunxi felt as if her heart had been pierced. The words "I didn't cheat" were so simple, yet she remained silent, watching his cold face turn into an uncontrollable rage in her silence. She stubbornly refused to clarify. If she did, he would be satisfied, knowing that she, whom he had used to spite Xue Wenying for seven years, had not betrayed him, and Su Yunxi would no longer leave any trace in his heart.
At that time, she was the only one suffering. Why should everyone else have to suffer?
"Has she become mute?" Qin Huai's eyes gradually turned bloodshot. "Su Yunxi!"
Su Yunxi said, "The reason I destroyed the cloak is because..."
"Stop making excuses." After a few short words, Qin Huai drew a dagger from his sleeve, gripped the hilt, and pressed the blade against Su Yunxi's slender neck. "I haven't given you a letter of divorce yet. Logically speaking, we are both your husbands. One of us is cherished by you like a treasure, and you worry about him getting cold, hungry, or without a doctor or medicine. The other is treated like trash."
As he spoke, Qin Huai found it difficult to continue. After a long while, he said with difficulty, "Master, you haven't been fair in dealing with everyone."
"Qin Huai..." A sharp dagger was pressed against Su Yunxi's neck. She leaned back against the bronze mirror as far as possible. The moment he took out the dagger, he had basically sealed her fate. She suddenly turned cold and lost all desire to explain.
He brought up the fact that he hadn't given her a letter of divorce. Indeed, apart from not having paid respects to each other's parents, they had worshipped heaven and earth. He was definitely criticizing her for her impatient remarriage to the crown prince without a letter of divorce.
But if she hadn't changed her allegiance after that slap four years ago, wouldn't she have become a laughingstock in the capital? Although, four years later, she still did become a laughingstock in the capital.
"Even though I am still of use to you, Master, you have already gone to such lengths to treat me with such disrespect," Qin Huai said with a cold laugh. "If I were no longer of use to you, Master, how much more would you have treated me?"
The sharp blade was pressed against Su Yunxi's neck. She had expected him to be angry, and she had expected that he would take her life after he was angry. But she had not expected his dagger to be so cold, her heart to be so painful, and his distrust to be so despairing and helpless. She had risked her life to block a rain of arrows, yet she was not worthy of his trust in the slightest.
"For the past four years, my master has enjoyed great favor in his presence, and I have never had the chance to ask when my master and he took a liking to each other. I always thought that it was because I neglected him during the two years I went to the Western Sea coast that my master's heart fell for someone else." Qin Huai said slowly, his eyes bloodshot. "It turns out it was much earlier. Before I went to the Western Sea coast, my master had already taken a liking to him. My master was only fifteen years old that year, probably not even fully grown up yet."
Her tone suddenly sharpened, "Haven't we been husband and wife? Aren't you keeping your virginity for me? Aren't you tired of pretending to be a virgin?"
Su Yunxi heard his questions and sarcasm, all based on distrust. She had been with him for seven years; didn't she deserve his trust? He must look down on her deep down.
"Have you said enough? I'm not pretending to be a virgin!" An uncontrollable heat rolled down her cheeks, followed by more heat, like beads from a broken string, the wet feeling flowing down her face and neck.
Tears dripped onto the back of Qin Huai's hand, burning hot in the cold winter night.
"You didn't? Didn't you tell me you've never even held his hand, and you rarely speak to him? Am I pretending to be innocent?!" Qin Huai's body trembled at her hot tears, tears of worry that the men in the Eastern Palace had no doctors or medicine. He had to get rid of her to alleviate the uncontrollable turmoil in his heart. "Don't you know how to suppress a man's desire?"
"I am now a concubine of the Crown Prince, and Zhou Yu has committed the crime of regicide."
Su Yunxi finally explained to him in a trembling voice that she still didn't want to be questioned and gossiped about like this. Besides, the Crown Prince did need a follow-up visit and more medication, and she couldn't let her family of three be at his mercy. Bowing her head and admitting defeat was inevitable.
"I thought you threw it away because I had worn your cloak and you thought it was dirty. For the first two days, I hid the cloak in the East Palace, but then I felt it was inappropriate and took it home. However, if people found out that I kept your clothes and associated you with me, it would inevitably damage your reputation. So I thought of burying it to avoid being noticed."
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