Reborn at 80: From Village Scoundrel to Billionaire

Liu Bei rushed over in three quick steps, his arms outstretched, ready to pull Lin Wanqiu into his embrace.

"Snapped!"

Lin Wanqiu shoved him away and then stepped on his cloth shoes.

"Ouch!" Liu Bei jumped up, wincing in pain. "What are you doing? Didn't you tell me to come?"

Lin Wanqiu ignored Liu Bei and instead sniffed him.

"You just crawled into Zhao Chunyan's bed, didn't you?"

"..."

Liu Bei was stunned.

He was being careful enough, so how did he still get caught?

"Don't try to fool me. You took a shower this afternoon; you smelled of well water and soap. But now you smell like Zhao Chunyan."

"We women have very sensitive noses; we can tell just by smelling them. You can't fool me!"

"..."

Liu Bei opened his mouth, then closed it again.

It’s over.

Ironclad evidence.

"Um!"

Liu Bei had no choice but to nod.

"Sigh~ what am I supposed to say about you?"

Lin Wanqiu shook her head.

"Didn't I remind you? You and she are divorced, you're not legally married anymore. You still go to her bed, and if someone finds out and reports you, you'll be sent for re-education. Why won't you listen?"

"I--"

"Don't explain," Lin Wanqiu interrupted him. "But then again, you're a normal man, and it's normal to want that... I can't stop you."

"Hmm? Has Wanqiu come to her senses? Is she going to change her attitude?"

Upon hearing this, Liu Bei felt a mixture of anticipation, excitement, and elation.

"But she's your ex-wife, and so am I. You sneak into her bed with her like that, what do you take me for?"

"It's time to change our attitude! Haha!"

Liu Bei's heart skipped a beat.

Then, he opened his arms again, ready to pick Lin Wan up and carry her to her room.

"Stay away from me."

Lin Wanqiu immediately reached out to stop him, her face serious, her eyes fixed on Liu Bei.

"Listen to me carefully, I want to eat fish. Remember, it has to be crucian carp, I won't eat any other fish. Go and get a few tomorrow."

"If I can't get her, I'll keep an eye on you and her every day. If you dare to sneak into her bed again, I'll knock on the door. When will I knock? I'll knock when you're at your most important moment."

"Specifically to interrupt your process."

After saying that, Lin Wanqiu slammed the door shut.

Liu Bei: "..."

Liu Bei stood outside the door, completely dumbfounded.

Do they deliberately interrupt the process when they're in a crucial moment?

Hey!

If I were to actually do that, wouldn't I be scared out of my wits?

Suddenly, Liu Bei felt a chill run down his spine.

"Crunch."

Just then, Zhao Chunyan's door opened a crack again.

Zhao Chunyan, wearing a jacket that revealed half of her face, waved to him.

Liu Bei walked over in a daze.

"What did Lin Wanqiu say to you?" Zhao Chunyan asked.

She said she wanted to eat crucian carp.

Zhao Chunyan frowned. "Crucian carp? Isn't that something that helps with lactation? She's not a new mother, she doesn't need to breastfeed, why would she eat it for no reason?"

"I don't know either!"

Liu Bei shook his head.

Zhao Chunyan thought for a couple of seconds, but couldn't come up with a solution, so she shook her head: "Never mind. Let her be. She wants to eat fish, and I want to eat fish too."

"You want fish too? What kind of fish?"

"Black carp," Zhao Chunyan said, emphasizing each word. "I only want black carp. Nothing else."

"Don't you love eating eels the most?" Liu Bei asked, puzzled.

Zhao Chunyan snorted, "That's what I liked to eat before I got married. I don't like it anymore."

Why?

Zhao Chunyan leaned against the doorframe, her gaze sweeping over Liu Bei from head to toe, before slowly uttering a sentence—

"The eels are too thin. I won't be full."

"The black carp is thick and meaty. It's very satisfying to eat."

After saying that, Zhao Chunyan slammed the door shut.

Liu Bei stood frozen in the middle of the courtyard.

I felt that something was off about what Zhao Chunyan said... but upon closer reflection, I couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong.

It's just eating fish, right?

Are they divided into fine and coarse?

What strange hobby?

Women's hearts are like the bottom of the sea; they're truly unfathomable!

Ugh!

Shaking his head, Liu Bei walked helplessly towards his room.

But just as he stepped across the threshold, there was another knock at the gate.

"Knock knock knock".

"Could it be that Fan Ha'er is back again? This guy, is he never going to stop?"

Liu Bei raised an eyebrow, walked out, and opened the courtyard gate. He saw that it wasn't Fan Ha'er knocking, but Fan Shuanzhu.

"Uncle Shuanzhu?" Liu Bei was somewhat surprised. "What brings you here in the middle of the night?"

"Is Ha'er with you? If so, tell him to come back with me! His mother is really worried!"

"No. He just came by, and I kicked him out. I thought he went home. Turns out he hasn't gone back yet?"

"Hmm. No!" Fan Shuanzhu's expression turned serious.

"Huh?" Liu Bei's heart tightened.

In the middle of the night, Fan Ha'er was wandering around outside alone. With his brains, I hope nothing bad will happen to him.

"Uncle, don't worry. Let's split up and search. I'll go west, you go east."

"good!"

Fan Shuanzhu nodded, then turned and left.

Liu Bei closed the courtyard gate and strode quickly toward the west of the village.

The moonlight bathed the dirt road, and the whole village was quiet.

He walked through three alleys and past the pond, but he didn't see Fan Ha'er anywhere.

Just as they were about to walk further away, they suddenly heard a strange laugh coming from ahead.

"Pfft—Hahaha!"

It was Fan Ha'er's voice.

Liu Bei followed the sound and, as he got closer, discovered that the laughter was coming from outside a courtyard.

He recognized the courtyard.

Fan Xibei's home.

Liu Bei quickened his pace and circled around to the side of the courtyard wall, where he indeed saw Fan Ha'er's figure.

This guy was lying under the window, bent over like a shrimp, one hand covering his mouth, his whole body trembling from holding it in, his shoulders heaving.

He poked a small hole in the window paper.

Inside, Fan Xibei was having sex with his sallow-faced wife when suddenly, he collapsed weakly onto his wife's stomach.

"Useless! I sent you hunting, and you couldn't even beat Liu Bei! I sent you out to earn some respect, and you peed your pants three times because of one idiot! The whole village is laughing at you! Are you even a man? Get out of bed right now!"

After saying that, Fan Xibei's sallow-faced wife kicked him off the bed.

Fan Xibei was very unwilling to give up, so he climbed over again.

"Honey, let me try again—"

"Try my ass! You've been nibbling at me for ages and haven't even made a sound! You'd be better off figuring out how to make more money! Tomorrow at daybreak, get out there and get to work!"

"I--"

"Get out of my room!"

"Pfft, hahaha—"

Fan Ha'er finally couldn't hold it in and vomited it out.

Laughter erupted outside the courtyard at night.

"Who!" Fan Xibei's roar came from inside the house.

Fan Ha'er realized he had been exposed and quickly covered his mouth.

"Bang!"

The courtyard gate was kicked open.

Fan Xibei rushed out wearing only a pair of shorts.

"Fan Ha'er? Is that you?"

After seeing Fan Ha'er clearly, Fan Xibei's face darkened.

Back on the mountain, he was scared to death by this idiot three times; now, when he's having sex with his wife, he's being spied on by this idiot.

This is intolerable!

"Fan Ha'er! I'll kill you today!"

Fan Xibei grabbed a brick and was about to smash it down.

Instead of running away, Fan Ha'er took a step forward.

"Smash it! Smash it on my head!" Fan Ha'er stretched his head forward. "As long as you don't kill me, I'll kill you tomorrow."

"Anyway, I'm an idiot. An idiot can kill without breaking the law."

The brick in Fan Xibei's hand was suspended in mid-air, and he froze.

That's right.

How could I have forgotten this?

He killed Fan Ha'er, and he will pay with his life.

If you can't kill Fan Ha'er, Fan Ha'er can just kill him in return, and nothing will happen to you.

No matter how you fight, you'll lose.

Just as Fan Xibei was in a dilemma, his wife also came out dressed.

She glanced at Fan Ha'er, then at Fan Xibei holding the brick, put her hands on her hips, and started cursing.

"Can't even handle a simpleton! What a useless piece of trash! I was so blind back then. If I'd known you were this good-for-nothing, I would have married a simpleton rather than you!"

"Snap!"

Fan Xibei was so angry that he gritted his teeth, his face turned white, then red, then purple, and his whole body began to tremble violently.

It was embarrassing on the mountain.

Embarrassing in bed.

Now, my wife is saying to her fiancé that she'd rather marry a idiot than him.

"ah!!!"

Fan Xibei's eyes were bloodshot, and he slammed the brick in his hand down on Fan Ha'er's head!