Jobless Reincarnation: The King with a Mental Problem

【after a while】

After playing around with me for a while, the witch got tired, took out her sleeping bag, and prepared to rest under the lake and the extinguished embers...

Actually, I wanted to find a room to stay in, but the witch said the night sky in the Demon Continent is very beautiful, so she wanted to drag me to sleep outside...

Um......

That works too...

The campfire was reduced to a few dark red embers. Occasionally, a breeze would blow from the lake, causing the ashes to float gently before slowly settling back down.

The night sky over the Demon Continent is indeed beautiful, with dense and bright stars, unlike the desolate night sky over the territory of Fituia.

But I have no interest in watching.

Because I'm actually too lazy to move, I really want to rest for a while. I've chatted with Genius for so long today without even realizing it, and although I've learned a lot, I'm really tired...

And none of those things he mentioned are the top priorities right now.

The top priority is Senis!

However, the information he revealed also had a lot of value, allowing for further analysis and usefulness for long-term plans. Therefore, I had to force myself to firmly remember what he said...

Ugh......

Even with your eyes tightly closed, your mind can't stop...

This feeling is really awful...

Recent events have been quite unpleasant...

At that moment, the witch who was holding me from behind suddenly spoke. Her voice was very soft, as if it were drifting from a great distance.

"Trevor?"

"Um?"

"Are you... really alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry... I just realized... you... have really become very strange..."

Where?

"There is..."

As she spoke, she tightened her grip on her arms slightly.

The situation is the opposite of last night.

Last night I hugged her from behind, now she's hugging me from behind.

"I can sense that you are deliberately trying to recapture the feeling you had when we were together before."

But... it was too deliberate...

And you must have other worries, right?

"I...I...did something wrong. I was acting very strangely back then...I didn't notice anything unusual about you."

"Is it that obvious?"

"some......"

"..."

I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent...

She waited a moment, then continued speaking.

Last night... you said you would say some very hurtful things, but you said them so gently...

You must have something you really wanted to say but didn't, right?

But I'm sorry... I'm actually not that smart... If you don't tell me, I can't guess what you're thinking.

"But... it would be very hurtful to say it..."

"I'm sorry...you...haven't forgiven me yet?"

"No..." I closed my eyes, "I... I can't forgive myself."

"Why...?"

"..."

"..."

She stopped talking.

After a while, she buried her face in the back of my neck, her voice even softer than before.

"You said you hope your lover is someone who can understand you, but if you don't say it out loud and have a proper talk with me, how can we understand each other?"

yes......

How can we understand each other if we don't have a proper conversation?

I chuckled unconsciously, but even I felt the laugh was perfunctory.

"Honestly, so that's why you wanted to sleep outside with me. You wanted to whisper secrets to me."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"...Okay...but...I don't know where to begin. Just ask me any question..."

She was silent for a short while, probably discussing organizational issues.

"Hmm... let me think... today... you've been avoiding Sister Muller, haven't you? Why?"

"Her illness," I said, lowering my voice, "especially since she's clearly unwell but pretends to be fine. I can't bear to watch it. I'm afraid it will remind me of some bad things, so I..."

I didn't say anything more. My eyes, which had been dry for many years, started to well up with tears again.

Actually, it reminded me of my mother from my past life...

result......

I thought I had long since run out of tears, but whenever I think about it, I can't help but let them flow again...

How embarrassing...

This time, it was Luo Qixi's turn to wipe away my tears from behind again...

I clearly didn't want her to see me in this vulnerable state...

"Sorry... let's change the subject..."

"Hmm... let's try another one..."

"I always thought you...were rather...indifferent to others...but why...have you become even more so now? You don't even want to remember the names of people you're talking to face-to-face?"

"Because there are too many..."

"What's too much?"

"Because there were just too many names... In the beginning, my world was very simple. I had a list with only a few names on it at first. That was my whole world, and I vowed to protect them."

But as I grew older, the list grew longer and longer, and I simply didn't have the energy to take care of everyone.

And now that the most important person in my life is in danger, I really don't want to meet any more people, and I certainly don't want to add any more names to that list...

Everyone else is secondary, everything else is secondary, the most important thing right now is Senis...

Her hand paused for a moment, then continued to gently pat the back of my hand.

"And what about yesterday?" Her voice was slow, as if she were carefully stepping on something. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye... Don't try to fob me off with a letter. We were playing together all day, and then in the evening, you... were in such a hurry to leave... deliberately avoiding me... Couldn't you at least have a proper talk with me?"

I remained silent for a long time.

It's not that I don't want to answer, it's that I really don't know how to say that word.

"Because of... guilt..."

"Guilt?"

"Hmm..." I took a deep breath. "It's like you and Senis can't swim, but you both fell into the water at the same time. The most important person to me is undoubtedly Senis, and I should have saved her first, but you know what happened."

Whatever the reason... it's just an excuse...

I came to find you first..."

She tightened her grip on my arms, as if trying to force something out of my body.

"So on one hand, you don't want me to worry, so you play around with me, but on the other hand, you want to leave immediately because of this guilt, right?"

"Yeah, that's about it."

"I'm sorry... I was acting very strange back then... I was only thinking about myself... so even if you explained, I probably would have continued to act recklessly..."

"I know, your dream is probably to meet someone in the maze and find true love, right? That's what I'm worried about, I'm worried that you'll risk danger to follow me, which is why I want to leave immediately."

"...And because of me, your plans were disrupted, which is why you got angry..."

"Yes, I was furious at the time..."

"Because I have everything you want, yet I've left it all aside, and I'm even getting in the way of you going to see Mrs. Senis..."

"Actually, there are many other complicated reasons... but that's exactly where my anger started."

"Could you tell me more about it?"

"It would really sound awful if I said it."

"Then I should say it even more, because... now I hope I can truly understand the people I like, instead of being as superficial as you say."

"Really...that's wonderful..."