My Wandering Swordsman

After hearing that, I stood there dumbfounded, unable to utter a single word for a long time.

My aunt also turned her head away, completely avoiding eye contact with me.

Looking at her, at this aunt who had always seemed so aloof and glamorous to me, I realized for the first time how frail and vulnerable she appeared.

After a moment, the aunt finally spoke, her gaze falling on the man on the bed: "Xiao Ji, do you know how difficult it is for a woman to gain a foothold in a place like Hengdian?"

I didn't say anything, and she didn't need my reply, so she continued talking to herself.

"When I first came to Hengdian, I didn't know anything. I wasn't bad-looking, and my acting skills were okay. I thought I could make a name for myself. But what's the reality? The reality is that if you want to make it in this industry, either you have connections, or you have someone to support you, or... you just have to accept your fate."

"Back then, I was working as an extra on film sets, earning fifteen yuan a day, which was barely enough to eat. But people still wanted to take advantage of me—assistant directors, producers, investors—everyone wanted to profit from me. I refused, and I was blacklisted. There was a whole year when I couldn't get a decent role."

"Later I met Chen Yongnian. He was rich, had resources, and his words carried weight in Hengdian. He told me that if I followed him, I wouldn't have to suffer those humiliations anymore. I thought to myself, since I'm going to be slept with anyway, I might as well find someone who can protect me. Being played by one person is worse than being played by a group of people in turns."

As she finished speaking, she finally turned to look at me, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, but there was no warmth in that smile.

"So, you ask me why I took care of him? Because I couldn't let him die, and I couldn't let anyone know he was in this state. If outsiders knew my backer had fallen, do you think I could still peacefully take on acting roles?"

"By then, I'm afraid I'll be lying in the beds of investors, producers, and directors every day."

After hearing this, I felt as if a huge rock was pressing on my chest.

I grew up in the countryside and was used to the interpersonal relationships and affairs of the neighborhood. But I never imagined that such a glamorous place as Hengdian would hide so much filth and unbearable things behind the scenes.

My aunt, a woman who always seemed like a fairy—clean, beautiful, and aloof—it turns out that her life had long been ravaged by this industry.

For the first time, I felt she was so close, yet so far away. Close enough that I could see the fine lines at the corners of her eyes, yet so far away that I felt I could never reach the world in her heart.

My heart aches, it hurts terribly.

I stared blankly at the woman in front of me, wanting to say something to comfort her, but I had no idea what to say. I was her nephew, a greenhorn who ran away from the countryside in Foshan, a little kid who hadn't even had much schooling.

What right do I have to comfort her? What right do I have to judge her life choices?

I remained silent for a long time before finally steer the conversation back to the beginning: "Auntie, I promise you."

Whether it's perfectly straight or not isn't that important to me.

I agreed to her request, not because that person deserved it, nor because I wanted to prove anything. I just felt that if even I rejected my aunt, then she truly had no one left to rely on in this world.

After hearing this, my aunt's expression didn't change much; she just nodded slightly, as if she had expected me to agree.

After a moment's hesitation, she continued to place her fingers on the second button of her blouse.

"Clatter"

This button has also popped open.

Her eyes were calm, so calm that it made my heart ache.

I quickly stopped her: "Auntie, it's really not about that. I...I..."

My lips trembled a dozen times, but the word "love" ultimately remained unspoken. Do I love her? I don't even know anymore.

After a tense standoff lasting a fraction of a second, I released my grip forcefully and turned around:

"Then I'm leaving, Auntie."

"I'll take you," she said, and started to stand up.

"No need, you...you take care of him." I waved my hand and walked towards the door.

I walked very slowly, so slowly that my aunt's footsteps stopped at the entrance.

I went outside, but instead of pressing the elevator button, I leaned against the wall outside the door and slowly squatted down.

The corridor was quiet, so quiet that you could hear your own heartbeat.

I closed my eyes, my mind filled with what my aunt had just said, my heart churning with turmoil, unable to shake it off for a long time.

I took out a cigarette, lit it, and took a deep drag. The smoke slowly dissipated in the corridor.

Ji Xiaosong, Ji Xiaosong, what the hell are you doing in Hengdian, you country bumpkin?

......

I dragged my heavy steps back to the tin shack, feeling utterly lost and dejected.

Pushing open the door, it was pitch black inside, so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

I assumed that Monk Hua and Liu Zi were asleep, so I didn't turn on the light or make a sound. I walked to the bedside in the dark, took off my clothes in a few quick movements, and threw myself onto the bed.

Even though I lay down, my heart was churning violently. The frustration from before was still stuck in my chest, unable to go up or down.

"Oh shit!"

I cursed under my breath, got up and rummaged around under the bed, thinking of pulling out a few bottles of beer to quell the fire in my heart.

Ironically, this tin shack, which usually has no shortage of anything, was completely empty today.

I searched for a long time, but all my fingers touched were empty bottles.

A wave of irritation washed over me, and I whispered twice towards the monk's bed: "Monk...monk? Do you still have any wine? Get up and have a drink with me."

No one answered.

I frowned and turned to Liu Zi's bed: "Liu Zi, Liu Zi, get up and have a drink with me, I'm feeling down."

No one answered.

The tin shack was so quiet that you could only hear your own breathing.

Hmm? Something's not right.

I jolted awake and slapped the light on. The dim bulb flickered, illuminating the entire room. The two beds were empty, the blankets lying limply on them; neither Monk Hua nor Liu Zi were in sight.

I was a little dazed.

That's not right. Although these two guys are loud and boisterous, they actually have very little money, so they basically never stay out all night.

I turned my head and glanced at the clock in the corner.

10:03.

At this hour, Monk Hua and Liu Zi should already be in bed snoring.

Damn it, could it be that these two are drunk and throwing up on some pile of shit? Or... should I go out and look for them?

Just as I was hesitating whether to put on my shoes and go out, someone suddenly knocked on the iron door of the tin shack.

"Knock knock knock".

Three sounds, neither hurried nor slow.

I was stunned for a moment. It seemed that these two guys were really drunk. They even knocked on the door of their own house.

Without thinking much, I moved barefoot over and opened the door.

A gust of cool wind blew in, and I shivered, but immediately squinted.

There was a man standing outside the door, wearing a dark blue police uniform. His face under the brim of his hat was very serious, and his eyes were fixed on my face.

"Ji Xiaosong?"

I nodded instinctively. "It's me. What's wrong?"

The policeman looked me up and down and said, "Your wife works at our station. Come over here."

What's wrong?!