My Wandering Swordsman

My mind went blank. Wife? What wife? Where did I get a wife?

Then I suddenly realized that a face had flashed through my mind.

It can't be that damn Ruan Tang, can it?

My heart skipped a beat, and I quickly asked, "Brother, Ruan... what happened to my wife?"

The policeman gave me a deep look, said nothing more, and simply said, "Just come with me."

My heart was pounding, so I quickly put on my shoes and followed him out the door.

The night breeze cleared my head a little, but the more I thought about it, the more uneasy I felt. That girl, Ruan Tang, might be a bit wild, but she's actually quite well-behaved. How did she get involved with the police again?

Last time, he had just been in jail for a short time.

The policeman had a stern face the whole way. I sat in the back of the police car and didn't dare to ask any questions. My heart was pounding like a rabbit's.

The car was parked in front of the Yudou Road Police Station.

I know this place very well; even the lights in the duty room are exactly the same as last time. I just didn't expect to be back so soon.

I followed the police inside, through the corridor, and into the detention room.

As soon as I entered, I saw Ruan Tang sitting on the bench behind the glass, her head down, her hands clasped together, constantly picking at her fingernails.

She heard footsteps, glanced up at me, then quickly looked down again, her face flushed red.

My brows were furrowed tightly.

Those who are detained in the detention room are all suspects, or at the very least, suspects who are about to be questioned. To put it bluntly, Ruan Tang must have done something wrong and been arrested by the police.

No, what did she do?

Just as I was about to ask about the situation, two familiar voices suddenly came from the detention room next door—

"Brother Ji!"

"Brother Ji!"

I looked in the direction of the sound and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

A shiny bald head and a skinny, dark-skinned boy—who are none other than the Flower Monk and Liu Zi!

My face darkened. Damn it, how did you two get in here too?

The Flower Monk and Liu Zi eagerly poked their heads out of the glass, their faces contorted in misery, and winked furiously at Ruan Tang's detention room next door. Seeing this, I roughly knew what was going on.

Yes, these three people committed the same crime.

At this moment, the policeman spoke up, pointing to Ruan Tang inside: "Is she your wife? We checked the records from last time, and your signature is on them."

Now that things had come to this, I could only nod with a dark expression and ask him, "Yes, comrade, what... happened to her?"

The policeman glanced at me, his lips twitching down as if he was trying to suppress a laugh, but his tone was still relatively gentle: "Uh, it's nothing serious, let her tell you herself."

I turned to look at Ruan Tang.

When Ruan Tang heard the police say this, she was stunned for a moment, lowered her head even further, her ears turned so red they could bleed, and her lips moved, but she couldn't utter a single word for a long time.

Looking at her, I twitched my eyelids. Don't tell me you went to the underground screening room to watch porn again, did you?

However, Ruan Tang clearly couldn't bring herself to say it, and I knew I couldn't count on her for the time being, so I turned to the Flower Monk: "Monk, you tell me, what exactly happened?"

With the thick skin of the monk Hua, he naturally spoke of it without any burden.

It turned out that the three of them had drunk some alcohol tonight. Ruan Tang didn't know if she had drunk too much or what, but she actually suggested going to the film crew's dressing room to watch the actresses change clothes.

No man would refuse such a thing, and neither would those two scoundrels, Flower Monk and Liu Zi.

The three hit it off immediately.

So, the three of them sneaked into the film set under cover of darkness, each using their strengths: Liu Zi pried open the door, Hua Heshang acted as a step stool for Ruan Tang, and Ruan Tang stood on the window to watch...

Unfortunately, no one knows what Ruan Tang saw. While looking, her elbow slipped, and she fell out of the window, landing on the Flower Monk.

The two of them fell flat on their backs outside the window.

The commotion was so loud that it attracted everyone in the film crew's dressing room, and the three of them had nowhere to run and were caught red-handed.

Most of the actresses screamed and ran around in fright, while a few who were calmer called the police.

When the police arrived, all three of them came in.

I listened with my mouth agape, then stood there stunned, unable to react for a long time.

So these three... were peeping at actresses changing clothes over the wall? No, wait, how old are they? Why are they doing things like kids?

My lips twitched a few times, but I couldn't hold back my anger any longer. I pointed at the monk's bald head and started yelling, "Monk, how old are you? Are you crazy? Using someone as a footrest? Why don't you use someone as a horse to ride?"

The flower monk glared at me, wanted to retort but felt guilty, and finally lowered his head.

Liu Zi chuckled to himself.

I continued firing: "Liu Zi, you still have the nerve to laugh? You think this is your home?"

Finally, I looked at Ruan Tang. The girl had already buried her head in her knees, curled up into a ball, and was too embarrassed to look at me.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something harsh to her, but looking at her pitiful appearance, I couldn't utter a single word: "No, you, you're a young lady, what are you doing watching actresses change clothes? She has everything you have, and she doesn't lack anything you don't need, what's so interesting about it?"

Ruan Tang's face turned as red as a monkey's bottom, and she muttered, "Mind your own business."

I'm completely speechless.

I turned to look at the policeman, swallowed hard, and asked cautiously, "Comrade, what's the sentence for this?"

The policeman waved his hand and smiled, "Alright, don't be nervous, it's not a big deal. The victim is in the next room. Go and say some nice things, offer some compensation, and we'll settle this through mediation. Go ahead, talk to them nicely."

I thought to myself, "This is the only way."

With a dark expression, I walked to the door of the next room and peeked inside. Wow! There were quite a few; seven or eight actresses were sitting inside.

I composed myself, pushed open the door, and walked in. Everyone's eyes immediately turned to me.

That's when I realized that these people all looked completely unfamiliar. I guess Ruan Tang and her friends were probably working on another film crew.

Oh, what a terrible thing!

I cursed under my breath, then quickly put on a smile and bowed deeply, apologizing to each of them: "Ladies, I'm so sorry, so sorry. Well, what happened today was my wife's fault. She's young and doesn't know any better. She drank a little and acted recklessly. I apologize on her behalf..."

I tried to be nice and smile, but the actresses didn't appreciate it at all. They all had cold faces and showed no sign of understanding.

There was no other way, so I had to take out a wad of cash from my pocket and compensate each of them for their losses. I also promised to discipline my wife properly when I got back, and only then did I manage to calm them down.

A rough calculation shows that I lost nearly four hundred yuan just for emotional distress.

After a commotion lasting more than half an hour, the police finally released the three of them.

As I stepped out of the police station, a night breeze blew, and I looked back at the three guys behind me with their heads down. I was so angry that I wanted to curse them.

I finally made some money, and now it's all gone.