Wu Xin: The Monster Killer

Chapter 280 The Lizard's Visit (2)

The giant lizard's spirit was so tenacious; even after it had dispersed, it could still cause trouble. To prevent his fiancée from being manipulated any further, he dug a pit on the mountain and laid her to rest. Since his beloved was no longer in the cave, he decided against starting a family. Leaving his pet leech in the cave, he took all his belongings—two sets of clothes and a guitar—and went down the mountain to wander.

When he had a home, he usually only did odd jobs in the town at the foot of the mountain to earn a little money; now that he had no home, he could travel far away without any worries. Sitting in the hard-seat carriage of the train bound for Beijing, he idly thought of Shi Gaofei. He tentatively sent a text message, and to his surprise, the other party responded enthusiastically immediately.

He wasn't the type to be overly familiar with people, so he cautiously chatted with Shi Gaofei for most of the night. Only after confirming that the other party wasn't being insincere did he buy a ticket as soon as the train arrived at the station and come to Jiangkou City at the invitation.

Shi Gaofei wasn't interested in the giant lizard's heartbreak and asked to himself, "Do you have any plans? If not, let's join forces and do something big!"

Under Shi Gaofei's watchful gaze, the lizard felt uneasy, suddenly having the feeling of being on a sinking ship: "Actually, I just want to find a job to fill my stomach..."

Before he could finish speaking, Shi Gaofei interrupted, "Lizard, tell me what skills you have? I'll be going with my son to catch ghosts, what can you do?"

The monitor lizard finally succumbed to the temptation of the peach and took a big bite. After a few chews, he swallowed it, peach juice splashing onto his face. He stuck out his long tongue and curled the tip of his nose, then answered objectively, "I can play guitar, paint walls, fix computers, stretch noodles, and I've even cooked in the construction site canteen."

Upon hearing this, Shi Gaofei felt that the giant lizard's special skills seemed to have nothing to do with the word "career." He bent down, raised his hand to his chin, and was somewhat disappointed, thinking that apart from his son, all the other aliens on Earth had fallen into depravity.

Because Shi Gaofei stopped talking, the giant lizard silently ate many peaches.

That night, he stayed at the Shi family's house. The air conditioner in the guest room was broken, and it was too hot to lie down at night, so the giant lizard made its home on the living room sofa. After sitting in a hard seat for several days and nights, he was exhausted and fell asleep, unknowingly revealing his true form. Shi Gaofei got up in the middle of the night to urinate, and when he came back, he forcibly woke Jiaqi and sneakily took her out to see the lizard. The giant lizard was only wearing a pair of floral shorts, sleeping on its back with its mouth wide open, its forked tongue drooping limply out of the corner of its mouth.

Shi Gaofei turned on a small flashlight and shone it on the giant lizard from head to toe, while whispering to Jiaqi, "Are you scared? I'm not."

Jiaqi stared blankly for a long time before finally replying, "A gecko? What's there to be afraid of? When I was little, I lived in an old house with my dad, and there were always geckos in the old house." Then she bent down and grabbed the large lizard's tail, which was dangling to the side: "If you cut off its tail, it will grow another one very quickly."

Shi Gaofei handed the flashlight to Jiaqi, then bent down and began to pinch the lizard's tail. He pinched and pinched, but couldn't break it. The lizard was sleeping too soundly, and in its dream, it was being pinched so painfully that it was in excruciating pain, yet it wouldn't wake up. Finally, Jiaqi stopped Shi Gaofei: "Don't pinch it anymore, it must hurt a lot if its tail breaks off."

Shi Gaofei let go: "Okay, then I won't pinch you anymore. But Jiaqi, look, having a big tail is quite fun, it's just inconvenient to wear pants. Luckily, he can turn into a human during the day, otherwise he would have to make a hole in the back of his pants, but that would easily expose his anus and testicles."

Jiaqi basically agreed with all of Shi Gaofei's profound theories, nodding repeatedly like a sycophant. But then Shi Gaofei suddenly had a new idea: "Wait a minute, a lizard's butt and a human's butt are different!"

Like a ghost, it slowly stretched out its two hands and, without consulting Shi Gaofei, pulled off the lizard's flowery shorts. Jiaqi held up her small flashlight, examined it for a long time, and finally looked up to tell Shi Gaofei, "There's nothing there."

Shi Gaofei looked around and indeed couldn't tell the male and female monitor lizards. Hugging his shoulders and shivering in the air-conditioned living room, he and Jiaqi went back to their bedroom to sleep, satisfied.

After a night of this, Bai Daqian came again the next morning.

He brought his daughter lots of fresh fruit and told her not to eat junk food anymore. Seeing that his son-in-law was still nowhere to be found, he asked with great dissatisfaction, "Xiaofei isn't going to work or taking care of you at home—what is he busy with every day?"

Jiaqi answered frankly, "My brother and the lizard people went out to look for work."

Bai Daqian was baffled: "What nonsense is this? Who exactly are these lizard people?"

Jiaqi thought for a moment and felt she had explained herself quite clearly: "It's just a large lizard!"

Bai Daqian racked his brains for a moment and vaguely understood: "Oh... Xiao Fei keeps a lizard?"

Jiaqi shook her head and laughed, "Xiaofei didn't raise any. The lizard can do everything by itself. It even cooked us congee with preserved egg and lean pork this morning."

Upon hearing this, Bai Daqian felt that his daughter and son-in-law had gone mad, and that he himself was on the verge of madness: "A lizard can cook congee with preserved egg and lean pork?!"

Jiaqi nodded confidently: "Sure! Xiaofei told him not to cook, but he insisted. He said he felt bad about eating and sleeping at my house for free, and he also said he'd be looking for a place to live on his own in a few days."

Bai Daqian raised a hand and scratched his half-long hair: "A lizard can talk?!"

Jiaqi clapped her hands suddenly and changed the subject on her own initiative: "Dad! Remember to tell Bao Bao and your sister that your brother said Bao Bao can come home to sleep today. Your sister can come home or not, but Bao Bao must come home. If your sister comes home, tell her to buy a few pounds of melons on the way. Tell her to buy them, not Bao Bao. The ones Bao Bao buys won't be sweet, but the ones your sister buys will be sweet."

Bai Daqian was completely confused by his daughter's words. He sighed and looked around her new home. Looking at the house and car, his daughter had married above her station; but looking at her son-in-law, she had married below her station. They'd only been married a few days, and Jiaqi was already acting like a madwoman.

Bai Daqian prepared lunch for his daughter in advance and then returned to his office building in the suburbs. Shi Danfeng had eaten a boxed lunch and was now sitting in front of the computer editing photos for him. Wuxin stood against the wall on the other side, holding an open book of feng shui in both hands, staring intently at the pages. For a long time, he remained motionless, not turning a single page. There was a loud clattering sound at his feet; his pet gray sparrow was frantically pecking at the phone screen, while a tiny kitten squatted nearby, watching the sparrow intently.

Standing with his hands behind his back in the office, Bai Daqian spoke without warning: "Danfeng, Wuxin, what am I supposed to do? Jiaqi insists that Xiaofei brought home a lizard, and the lizard even made breakfast for them. After breakfast, Xiaofei took the lizard out to look for a job." He patted his chest in anguish: "So Jiaqi wasn't just making things up after all!"

Shi Danfeng, constantly glued to the computer, was so busy she was dizzy and ignored Bai Daqian's complaints. She glanced at him absentmindedly and asked softly, "A lizard?"

Bai Daqian let out a long sigh of relief: "By the way, it seems Xiaofei wants you to go to his house tonight. You'll also need to buy him a few pounds of melons on the way."

Shi Danfeng stared at the screen, clicking the mouse, reluctant to go—every time she entered her brother's new house, she couldn't help but feel jealous and heartbroken. Out of sight, out of mind; it was better not to go. Putting down the mouse, she picked up her phone and, multitasking, called her brother. The background noise was deafening; Shi Gaofei was clearly on the street. Shi Danfeng casually lied, saying that neither she nor Wuxin had time to visit that evening.

After lying, she prepared herself for a long battle with her brother, but to her surprise, Shi Gaofei readily agreed and hurriedly hung up the phone, looking like he was busy with important matters.

The day passed peacefully, and the second day was equally uneventful. On the third day, Bai Daqian went to visit his daughter again, carrying some nutritional supplements. However, he returned at noon, drenched in sweat, his face pale, exclaiming, "Something terrible has happened! Xiaofei and the lizard have gone to the streets to busk!"

Shi Danfeng wasn't in the office; only Wuxin emerged from behind the screen, holding a cat and a bird: "Did you see the lizard?"

Bai Daqian immediately shook his head: "What do you mean, lizard! I'm even afraid of toads, let alone lizards? Jiaqi told me! She even said that lizard was longer than a person—damn it, what on earth did Xiaofei bring home? Doesn't he know there's a pregnant woman in the house? Ugh, I'm so angry!"

(End of this chapter)