Love Apartment: Yifei is my junior aunt

Chapter 311 1V110, battle record verifiable

Zeng Xiaoxian walked into the Sunny Day Bar.

He laughed heartily at the group and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Ziqiao and Yifei, who were secretly chatting about something by the bar, looked at Zeng Xiaoxian: "Yifei wants to ask you about lovers..."

Ziqiao had only spoken halfway when Yifei, with a fierce expression, covered his mouth tightly.

"Lover? What lover?" Zeng Xiaoxian asked curiously.

Yifei asked with a fake smile, "As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what does beauty see in Xi Shi's eyes?"

Zeng Xiaoxian pondered for a moment, then raised an eyebrow with considerable confidence: "Eye boogers."

"Ugh..." Guan Gu, who was standing to the side, was disgusted by Zeng Xiaoxian's answer.

Just then, Mika handed Guan Gu a small cake that looked like eye boogers: "Guan Gu, you should eat some too."

Guan Gu disgustedly waved his hands repeatedly in refusal.

"Hey, I've been here for 10 seconds. Doesn't anyone want to ask me what happened after my date with Laura last night?" Zeng Xiaoxian said excitedly.

He's now a conspicuous figure trying to prove to his friends that his choice was absolutely right.

Nanfeng shook his head: "Not interested."

Zhanbo chuckled dryly, "I don't have a cold."

Yu Mo rolled her eyes at Zeng Xiaoxian and said, "Don't bother me."

"Hey, you three, is this really necessary?"

Zeng Xiaoxian protested, "I finally managed to escape the shadows of the past, shouldn't you all show me more concern?"

"Let's show some concern."

"Blessings, blessings."

Nanfeng, who was looking down at his phone, gave a few perfunctory replies. He looked up and said, "With your smug, show-offy attitude, it's like we don't care about you and that's why we're not saying anything."

"Your mouth is your own; say what you want, or don't."

"Why have you been so short-tempered these past few days?"

Zeng Xiaoxian rarely saw Nanfeng acting so indifferent, so he curiously glanced at Nanfeng's phone.

"You're actually reading... a parenting guide?!"

Zeng Xiaoxian grabbed Nanfeng's arm, his small eyes full of curiosity and excitement: "When did you get pregnant, or are you about to become a father?"

"Most importantly, whose child is this? Is it yours?"

Nanfeng casually pointed: "His."

"What?!?!"

Guan Gu was taken aback by being inexplicably accused.

"That's with her."

Yu Mo, who was pointed at, smiled and shoved Nan Feng.

She explained, "It's like this, Yifei asked Nanfeng, Zhanbo, and me to help Xiaobo look after the baby this afternoon."

"None of us have any parenting experience, so we can only have Nanfeng cram at the last minute."

"I see." Zeng Xiaoxian nodded knowingly. "In that case, Yu Mo, why don't you learn it?"

"don't want."

Yu Mo refused very firmly: "I don't like children. Children are a major killer that makes women age."

"You talk as if I like it."

Nanfeng sighed, "I really never imagined that one day I would become the main caregiver for the baby."

Zeng Xiaoxian patted Nanfeng on the shoulder understandingly: "The capable should do more, right? With Yu Mo's memory, she might be able to leave the child on the sofa."

"If Zhanbo were to be the main player, I doubt he would fold up the baby like a Transformer."

"How is that possible!" Zhanbo exclaimed like a child.

I'm not an idiot, how could I do something so stupid?

Meijia's eyes darted around, revealing two shallow dimples: "So, Teacher Zeng, how did your date go last night?"

Although Nanfeng and the others weren't interested in Zeng Xiaoxian's self-destructive behavior, Meijia was simply too curious.

Thankfully, Youyou is currently filming a movie; otherwise, given her personality, the entire bar would have been filled with Youyou's questioning the moment Zeng Xiaoxian entered.

Seeing that someone had finally brought up the matter, Zeng Xiaoxian said mysteriously, "You would never believe it, but she is completely different from what I imagined now."

Immediately afterwards, Zeng Xiaoxian gave a detailed account of his date with Laura the day before.

After listening to the love-hate relationship between Laura and that johneylulu, the veteran drivers, led by Nanfeng, suddenly had strange expressions and hesitated to speak.

In her inner world, Mika is dressed in a pencil skirt and a white shirt, looking every bit the part of a Japanese teacher.

She pointed her pointer at the blackboard, adjusted her black-rimmed glasses, and asked the students below the stage.

[Given: Johney Lulu and Laura are biologically opposite sexes, one male and one female. A grenade explodes less than one meter from Laura.]

[Ignoring the physics-defying notion that "a grenade exploding at close range couldn't kill Laura, this female aquaman," the shrapnel grazed Laura's eye but precisely sterilized Johnny Lulu.]

[Request: What were Laura and Johney Lulu's positions and actions at that time?]

[Mika gripped the pointer in her hand, biting her red lips tightly, trying hard to appear serious but unable to stop laughing.]

Students are requested to derive the answers to the questions and submit a written report of no less than one million words or a corresponding video or image based on those answers.

Students who include relevant study materials or reference websites will receive extra points...

The experienced drivers exchanged glances, confirming that they weren't the only ones who had misunderstood.

Zeng Xiaoxian was about to tell his fantastical adventure, but he saw that everyone's expressions were strange, and Meijia's eyes made him feel inexplicably flustered.

"Why do you all look so twisted? Have you taken the wrong medicine?"

The group exchanged glances and then immediately started playing rock-paper-scissors.

Yu Mo, who had lost in the end, could only explain to Zeng Xiaoxian, "Teacher Zeng, you're probably not a virgin anymore, are you?"

"Cough cough cough..."

Zeng Xiaoxian asked in a flustered manner, "Why are you suddenly asking this?"

Yu Mo blushed and said, "Didn't you ever think about what position Laura and Johneylulu were in so that a shrapnel that grazed Laura's eye could accurately perform a sterilization operation on Johneylulu?"

"What position?"

Zeng Xiaoxian looked completely bewildered.

"That's right, that's right..."

"oops!"

Yu Mo nudged Nan Feng: "You explain this to him for me."

"No, a bet is a bet..."

Nanfeng was speaking when Yumo stared at him resentfully.

"Okay, okay."

Nanfeng put down his phone and extended his right hand to Zeng Xiaoxian.

He pointed to his ring finger and said, "Let's assume this is johneylulu."

"Hmm, and then?" Zeng Xiaoxian asked.

Then Nanfeng used his middle finger to go around behind his ring finger, so that only a short section of his originally slender middle finger could be seen protruding from the gap between his little finger and ring finger.

"Let's say the ring finger represents johneylulu, then the tip of my middle finger represents the most prominent part of johneylulu's body. Do you understand?"

"I understand!"

Zeng Xiaoxian chuckled and said, "That's his belly!"

"Stomach my foot!"

Nanfeng retorted angrily, "Is your stomach the most prominent part of your body?"

Everyone burst into laughter, with Yifei and Meijia staring intently at Zeng Xiaoxian's lower body.

Zeng Xiaoxian said with great shame, "I was just joking. Do you think I don't know that this is Johney Lulu's younger brother?"

"very good."

Nanfeng then raised her left hand: "Let's assume my left index finger is Laura. Now, here's the important part."

He bent his left index finger into the shape of the number nine, and then, to Zeng Xiaoxian's incredulous and horrified gaze, the bent left index finger slowly touched the protruding tip of his right middle finger.

"hiss……"

Zeng Xiaoxian covered his head with his hands in horror, as if he wanted to pull himself up by his hair.

Hu Yifei suppressed a laugh and made a grenade explosion gesture.

"Bang!"

She provided the voiceover with schadenfreude.

"call out……"

Sitting next to Nanfeng, Yu Mo used her index finger to represent the shattered shrapnel. The shrapnel grazed Nanfeng's left index finger and gently touched the tip of Nanfeng's middle finger.

"ah!!!"

With a piercing scream from Nanfeng, he slammed his right hand onto the sofa. The ring finger that represented johneylulu was still twitching, but the middle finger that had been exposed earlier was missing.

It can only be said that Nanfeng is indeed a professional voice actor; just one scream was enough to make the male compatriots present instinctively cover their crotches.

Besides Zeng Xiaoxian...

At this moment, Zeng Xiaoxian had his eyes tightly closed and was pounding his head with his fists.

"My God!"

"Oh my god!!"

"Oh my god!!!"

He wailed repeatedly.

At this moment, the honest Guan Gu stabbed Zeng Xiaoxian in the heart: "Teacher Zeng, I just heard you say that Laura thought of you the moment the bullet grazed her cheek?"

Zeng Xiaoxian froze instantly, as if all color had vanished from him in that instant.

He was surrounded by vibrant, bright colors, but he was the only one in a monotonous, bleak black and white.

Ziqiao cleared his throat and delivered the fatal blow to the faded Zeng Xiaoxian.

He mimicked Laura's voice, saying, "Xian'er, push faster, Johney Lulu is running out of strength."

Zeng Xiaoxian: "..."

Zeng Xiaoxian, whose color had already faded and dulled, seemed to have been crumpled into a ball by an invisible hand and thrown into the trash can like waste paper.

"vomit……"

Zeng Xiaoxian couldn't stop vomiting violently, and it wasn't dry heaving.

"Holy crap!"

Everyone scrambled to their feet, shouting, "Trash can! Trash can!"

"Tissues, tissues!"

"Water, who will go and prepare a glass of warm water for him first!"

……

About ten minutes later, Zeng Xiaoxian finally lifted his head out of the trash can with red eyes.

"Teacher Zeng, please don't throw up again."

Nanfeng and Ziqiao gently patted Zeng Xiaoxian's back. Nanfeng pinched his nose and said, "If you keep vomiting like this, you'll vomit up your bile."

"Xiaoxian, I'm really sorry."

Ziqiao rarely showed a hint of guilt: "I thought you didn't care about these things because you accepted Laura so quickly."

Wan Yu, who was standing nearby, also said, "Teacher Zeng, it seems that you can't accept a woman like Laura at all. Why don't you just give up on each other?"

"No, I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine."

Zeng Xiaoxian, still vomiting violently, wiped his mouth and said, trying to save face, "That's all in the past. Besides, Johney Lulu was her husband before. Even if there was something between them..."

"vomit……"

Zeng Xiaoxian pretended to vomit again, but he had already vomited everything out of his stomach.

"It's perfectly normal for something to happen between them!"

Zeng Xiaoxian said in a fit of pique.

The group looked at each other, speechless.

"Aren't you all... surprised?"

Seeing that he did not receive the expected scolding and admonition, Zeng Xiaoxian became dissatisfied instead: "Laura is a divorced woman, no, to be precise, she got married and divorced repeatedly in the 664 days we were apart."

"She has had three ex-husbands, six boyfriends, and two fiancés..."

"Why are you all so calm?"

"Teacher Zeng."

Mika smiled sheepishly: "Is it possible... we knew about these things even before you did?"

"How is that possible!"

Nanfeng sighed, and pulled out a thick stack of documents from somewhere: "Thanks to Youyou who is filming right now, this is the victim information of Laura that she found for you after staying up all night."

"In fact, Laura has dated a little more men in the past two years than the number you just mentioned."

Zeng Xiaoxian asked nervously, "How much more?"

"It can't be double, can it?"

Three plus six plus two already makes eleven; if you double that, you'll have twenty-two.

Twenty-two!

That's enough to organize a football match!

"Multiple zeros."

"Multiple...zeros!"

Zeng Xiaoxian rolled his eyes and completely fainted.

I'm coming

It really does have flavor when it's written in a crazy way.

(End of this chapter)