Leave A Scar

Knocks came to my door, reaching out to me in the dead of night.

Not that I had been sleeping very much before...

Ed gave me a small grin, when I opened the door, and I caught the blush on his face even in the dim moonlight.

"I... Uh, well, I can't sleep." he said simply.

I leaned out of my room, feeling the heat radiate from underneath his shirt as I looked down the hallway. His breath caught, too, and I almost sighed. He was going to be thoroughly disappointed if he thought we were doing anything other than sleeping tonight...

I took his hand in mine, seeing that wide childish grin come to him as I pulled him into my room and closed the door.

As I crawled back to bed, I felt his eyes raking me. Outlining every curve with a careful delicacy I felt my heart shrink at.

But part of me, the part that wasn't shrouded in darkness, was dying for some type of light.

I needed my match to finally have some type of flame.

I locked it all away, continuing to crawl and shift onto my side, bring the covers up with one hand.

I sensed his smile, a grin I caught sight of as I turned back, sending a small smile of my own.

Something to match that light, however slight.

He snuggled into bed with me, arms wrapping around and enfolding me in his embrace. The temperatures contrasting, seemingly even hotter this time. It was a little strange, but maybe I'd gotten cold enough to really notice how warm he was.

I did what I could to nuzzle my cheek against the inner part of his shoulder, towards the center of his ċhėst, arm below him and between the sheet wrapping around. For a moment, for a split second, I thought I felt him shake. The smallest of vibrations in some distant part of his spine.

Whatever it was, I didn't want him to feel it. Even if it was my mind playing more tricks on me, I curled my arm, bringing my hand to his back. The spot I had thought I felt something. Moving my hand over, almost feeling like I was wiping something on my palm on his shirt...

I was horrible at this... I knew in my soul I couldn't comfort. I knew I didn't deserve to be on any spectrum of love.

He held me a little tighter anyway, almost burrowing his face into the corner of my neck. Telling me, like he could hear my thoughts, that I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

I tried to block out that voice, knowing I didn't deserve to hear it.

I stayed there, for a while. In the silence of our room, listening to the patterns of noise outside. I had cracked the window a little bit, and occasionally the most distant of breezes came in. Rolling over my skin, igniting the slightest of goosebumps. I wondered if Ed was cold, if he had that blanket nearby, but this time he just held me a little more in his sleep. Continuing to breathe a little deeper than before.

I moved, resting my forehead against his jawline. Eyes shutting to the small gleam his automail made across the moonlight, some thought bubbling up to my mind.

Some question that never fully formed; some word I couldn't find, feeling I couldn't place. I nearly identified what it was, the briefest distant flash of something before I ripped it out of my conscious, letting sleep overtake me again.

Voices drifted through my hazy brain, eventually making sense. The first one I heard was Winry's.

"Uh, well, you weren't in your room, so..."

"So you just barge in here without knocking?!" Ed's voice, spoken in a hissed whisper.

I blinked, complete confusion making me lift my head up from Ed's ċhėst. Making me turn and see Winry standing in the doorway with an embarrassed grin on her face.

"I got a bit worried, okay?" she said, responding to Ed's question. "I didn't see you in your room."

Reality caught up with me and habit set in; I dove underneath the covers, unconsciously resting my mouth against Ed's stomach. I felt his skin heat up beneath me, and it was around this time I realized he was still dressed. Half-dressed, anyway. I was as well.

Ed peeled the sheets away from me, a small smile on his face. I grinned back, utterly embarrassed. My hands flattened themselves onto his stomach as I raised myself back up, feeling him flex a little for me. I nearly held back the urges he was teasing me with; I responded by curling my fingers, sinking my sharp nails against his tight abs.

I was talking to Winry, making myself as bright as possible in hopes to distract her from Ed's stifled expression.

"Oh, good morning, Winry! I'm so sorry about the scare. Ed has a tendency to sleepwalk sometimes."

Winry shifted her gaze to the alchemist in bed with me, one finger by her chin. "He does? Since when did this start, Ed?"

"Oh, you know"-Smoothly, his hand slid around to the back of my thɨġh, roughly pinching it. I took pride in being able to hold back both a shout and most of any expression, aside from a brief widening of my eyes, which probably looked very strange to Winry-"Just kinda started a few weeks ago."

Winry nodded a bit, beginning to turn away as she replied. "You should really get that under control. You're lucky you didn't walk down the stairs."

"Yeah, okay," Ed was calling after her as she walked away from us, leaving the door wide open, "Thanks!"

I didn't miss the glance Winry gave us before departing down the stares. That look in her eye... It was almost something of sadness.

The thought was ripped from my brain as soon as the top of her head sank below the surface of the second floor, Ed's lips coming to my neck. I clenched my teeth, holding back a shout of surprise. He withdrew with a slick pop; a sound Winry probably heard from the base of the stairs. Before I could say anything, his mouth had captured mine, stealing my breath and drowning my paranoid thoughts in pŀėȧsurė.

I let him guide me down onto the bed again, kissing back until his lips moved back to my neck. I breathed deeply, turning my face up towards the corner of the wall and ceiling behind us, speaking to him for the first time today.

"We should probably go downstairs," I said.

"Mmhmm." Ed's voice was muffled, lips holding the flesh of my neck in a bite he couldn't actually give. He released my skin, tongue running over the spot hard.

My toes curled, head dropping back and lips suppressing a mȯȧn. My mouth opened, puffing out a gasp as I held the back of his head with my hand.

"We really should..." Words failed me as his hand came to my ȧss, gently groping as he lifted the hem of my shirt, exposing my stomach. He began kissing above my belly buŧŧon, grinning at the way my stomach pulled in, quickly sinking just out of his reach. He waited, planting a kiss when I breathed out and my stomach naturally met his lips.

"Ed..." I tried to tell him that we really should be eating breakfast; that we really couldn't stay up here. Especially not when the door was wide open. Anyone who came upstairs would have to round the banister, and my room would be wide open for them to see. There was no avoiding it...

Ed's mouth drew away, and softly he cleared his throat. His eyes didn't meet mine as he sat back onto his knees, hand coming to shake the front of his hair.

"We should probably get dressed," he murmured.

I sighed, releasing some strange mixture of pure relief and utter disappointment. My hand went to my face as I kept breathing, taking deep breaths through my nose with my eyes closed.

I heard him step out of bed, the springs creaking and the weight shifting to only support me. I heard his feet pad around to the open door, and then his steps paused before quickly scampering over to his room. I grinned, breathy laughter escaping me before I could hold it in. It was too quiet for him to hear, but as I rolled onto my side and my eyes opened, he was standing in the doorway. Fresh tank top on, one hand in his pocket. His eyes roaming over my body, half covered in an oversized T-shirt. I watched that soft smile increase a little more as he turned, beginning to walk to the staircase.

"Get moving," he said tenderly, speaking low enough for only me to hear, "Or I'll have to come in there and completely undress you."

Desire swarmed again, and I was tempted to call him back into the room. But reality caught up again, and I smiled a little, watching him descend down the staircase. Meeting my gaze with the bottom of his eyes curved a little, an equally soft smile on his face.

There was almost an emotion in that gaze. One I wanted to put a word to. But I forced myself away, rolling into a sitting position and trying to get ready for another day.

The smell of pancakes drifted to me as I reached the end of the stairs.

It almost felt like home.

Maybe it was better off, keeping me in the dark.

But eventually, the second afternoon rolled around, and I stood near a big oak tree. Watching Ed roll his new shoulder, grinning wide.

"Man, is it great to have this back!" He sent a grin away from me, to Winry, who was stepping down from the porch. "I owe ya one!"

Winry smiled, tilting her head to the side. "Oh, you wouldn't believe the fortune I'm charging you for those upgrades. Don't sweat it, Ed."

Ed was practically knocked out, when she told him the total. Al and I fanned him, and after a few seconds he came to.

He gave Al's suit a light punch, resting his fist there. Looking up at his bigger, younger brother.

"You ready, Al?"

Al nodded, and slid back into a classic fighting stance.

My heart kicked up to my throat, and with my hands behind me, I took a small step back.

"Oh, don't worry about them," she said, and already Ed was hopping over Al's roundhouse kick. "They always spar to test out the new automail. It's a guy thing."

I tried to smile as well, laughing a little as Winry walked up to me, spare arm slung behind her shoulder. I asked what it was for.

Winry sighed, keeping her other hand on her hip. She shrugged her shoulder, lightly jostling the prosthetic.

"This? It's just in case he breaks his in the first five minutes. I made a spare."

Before I could respond, she opened one eye. The sunlight that peeked through the leaves caught some blue in her eye, and I had to admire the color. She was so much prettier than me; why hadn't Ed gone after her instead? Why hadn't she come along?

"So how've you been?" she asked cheerily. "It's been some time since we've talked, you know."

I grinned, almost feeling sweat break onto my skin.

"I've..." could I really lie? "Been..."

Alright. The word nearly fractured me.

Winry waiter for another moment, both eyes open, then she smiled again, those eyes closing into curves. "Too good for words, huh? I bet it's nice always being around great company."

I smiled past the embarrassment.

We watched Ed and Al spar for a few moments, the only sounds the wind rustling leaves and metal hitting metal.

"It's definitely an adventure," she said, and another burst of wind lightly forced my hair into my face. "Always having those two around."

There was something underneath her voice, her words. Some edge, some drop of poison. I didn't know what to make of it, couldn't decipher it.

I just swallowed down the pain, and like always, stayed out of the way.

Winry was called in to help with lunch, a few minutes later. She bid a quick goodbye to me, and with no glance to Ed or Al, went up the stairs and through the open doorway.

"Al, you wanna help with lunch?"

"Huh?" Al turned, and Ed jumped up. Flipped up, I might add, and hooked his fingers underneath Al's mouthpiece. Knocking it off.

Hanging by the back of his brother, Ed spoke, grin clear and voice low.

"And I've got your blood seal."

His hand revealed itself again, snaking up and out of the large opening. I could only stare at his fingers, thinking how badly I wanted them gliding against my skin. Touching and stroking until I soiled myself.

I blinked, realizing Ed was staring, as Al quickly ran up the stairs of the Rockbell house. Ed cleared his throat, swiveling on one foot before sauntering towards the showerhead nearby.

He picked up a towel, as he passed by. Flicking the fabric open, washing his face and massaging below his eyes. So he hadn't gotten a good sleep, last night, even with me there...

Even still, like always, I saw the grin on his face, when the towel was high enough. Fabric swaying and cutting through the white of his teeth.

"You wanna help me get clean?"

I smiled, holding my hands at the front of my skirt as I leaned my weight to the side. "Only if you promise to clean me afterwards."

Our voices were more than hushed, unable to be heard from the home next to us. Even still, I could've swore I saw Winry's eyes lift from the countertop, as she turned.

I tried not to be unnerved by it.

He looked to me as I approached, stopping in front of him. I leaned forward, placing kisses down the side of his neck. His head tilted, a subtle mȯȧn underneath his breath.

I placed my palm flat against his ċhėst, feeling his heart beat against the heel of my hand. I was breathing hard, scared that any minute that door would open again. I looked up, seeing Ed watching me through heavily-lidded eyes, and once again that dėsɨrė was unlocked. I gave a deep kiss to his mouth, feeling the breath rush out of him again.

The front door opened. I was instantly steps away from him, and as I moved, I heard Ed spin around.

"You two!" Pinako called. "Lunch is ready! Don't let it get cold."

"Okay," My voice nearly cracked as it came out of me. "We'll be right there!"

Pinako nodded, turning back and leaving the door open. I looked behind myself, seeing Edward's back to me.

"Shit," he breathed out. "I'm all sweaty again."

I laughed a little, stepping behind him. My hand raised to his back, and tentatively I placed a kiss on his shoulder.

"Probably be sweaty tonight, too," I said against his skin. "So don't worry about it."

Faintly, I saw goosebumps break out along his skin. I grinned, curling my hand to lightly claw his back again. After placing another kiss against his skin, I left, still feeling the aftershocks of the fear as I walked up the stairs.