Genshin Impact: Teyvat Travel Log

"To be able to say that."

"You, Sambo Koski, are undoubtedly a hilarious genius."

"Then you should know that too."

"The essence of comedy is actually the tragedy of others."

"unfortunately--"

"I'm looking for some fun at your place today."

At this point, he snapped his fingers, and two round, black pills appeared out of thin air between the two of them.

"Mr. Sambo, left or right?"

"Choose one yourself."

"What if you don't want to be dignified?"

"I can only help you maintain a decent appearance."

As soon as he finished speaking, a surge of imaginary energy erupted from Gu Jing's body, seemingly solidifying and pressing down firmly on Sang Bo's shoulder.

The overwhelming force, like the Milky Way pouring down from above, left Sambo drenched in sweat. This... is definitely at the level of a Star God, right?

But why?

With an awkward laugh, Sambo couldn't help but ask, "Before making a choice, may I ask why you approached me?"

Gu Jing, however, replied irrelevantly, "You have three seconds left."

"..."

In an unspeakable silence, Sambo finally chose the pill floating on the left before the three seconds were up. However, he wanted to keep it in his mouth instead of swallowing it directly, but it melted in his mouth and he couldn't spit it out.

Looking up, the golden mist had begun to dissipate, leaving behind a mechanical voice whose gender was difficult to discern:

"And don't say I didn't warn you."

Both of these are poisons.

"One of them is called 'One-Day Death Powder'."

"As the name suggests, you will die of a ruptured intestine at this time tomorrow."

"Another one is called 'Smiling Half-Step Stumble'."

"In other words, never smile, and never take a single step, or your blood vessels will burst and you'll die on the spot!"

"But you chose too quickly just now."

"I don't know what kind of poison you took either."

In short—

"Bless yourself."

With his head down, Sambo's expression was terrifyingly gloomy.

But according to Natasha, ever since that day, they've had a strange person jumping around in Belleburg.

[Silver Wolf: To be honest, that guy's attitude just now was exactly like a villain who's destined to die after only three chapters!]

[Gu Jing: I never said I was a good person. I'm just a common, perverted guy who does whatever he wants. Does that mean he's allowed to go around having fun, but I, Gu, am not allowed to stand up for him?]

Silver Wolf: Tch~

[March 7th: Hmph~ This is what they call—the wicked will always be punished by the wicked!]

[Xingbao: Is this what it feels like to have someone backing you up?]

[Xingbao: I'm full of confidence now!]

[Gu Jing: It's good that you have confidence, but don't go looking for trouble, especially things like bullying men and women. Leave that to me, understand?]

[Xingbao: No problem!]

[Xingbao: Whatever Brother Jing says goes!]

[Xingbao: Well-behaved.jpg]

Kafka: "..." Will he spoil this kid?

[Gu Jing: As for the extra three months?]

[Gu Jing: If you can't speak well, then eat more.]

[March 7th: Hehe~ But do these two poisons really exist?]

March 7th: That sounds terrifying...

[Gu Jing: Guess?]

PS: The picture shows Silver Wolf.

Chapter 239 Ex-girlfriend? Cocolia actually plays this game so wildly?

Having resolved the matter with Sangbo, Gu Jing, who had nothing else to do for the time being, also planned to return to the upper district to rejoin the pioneering team.

To explain the "One-Day Death Powder" and the "Smiling Half-Step Madness," he played a video while walking, titled "Gu Bohu Points at Sweet Rain (Excerpt)," claiming it was a comedy adapted from the situation on the continent of Teyvat.

[The scene in the video is located at Qunyu Pavilion—]

[To thank Gu Jing for helping Liyue fend off the overwhelming Fools, Tianquan Ningguang specially invited Gu Jing, who was using the alias Gu An, to Qunyu Pavilion for tea, and even had Gan Yu bring him a bowl of freshly made coconut milk.]

[Watching Gu Jingxi unable to resist drinking the coconut milk Gan Yu gave him.]

[Ningguang asked him with a half-smile if he was really Gu Jing, saying that if he was willing to admit it, she could arrange for Gan Yu to marry him.]

[Gu Jing really fell for it!]

[However, just as he himself admitted that he was Gu Jing.]

[Ningguang, however, is denying everything!]

[The leader of the Beidou clan, leading a group of Qianyan soldiers, burst through the door.]

[They also surrounded Gu Jingtuan, who had already admitted his identity.]

Why is this happening?

[Because Gu Jing was Ningguang's first love, he suddenly ran away for some unknown reason back then, leaving her unmarried to this day, and her love turned into hatred.]

[And she even added the most potent poison in the world to the coconut milk he just drank.]

[A one-day death pill!]

[At a tense moment.]

[Ningguang and Gu Jing exchanged a smile and began advertising.]

"Those who consume our One-Day Death Powder will lose all their martial arts skills within a day, their meridians will reverse, they will have wild thoughts, leading to qi deviation and ultimately death from intestinal perforation."

[“That’s right! And those who have taken 757 and become “smiling half-step debilitated” must, as the name suggests, never take a single step or show a smile, otherwise their blood vessels will explode and they will die.”]

"This is truly a home-and-travel experience—"

"Kill him to silence him—"

[“Essential medicine!” x2]

[Attracted by the information, Beidou couldn't help but ask, "So, where can I buy one?"]

[...]

"Does this mere 'Half-Step Madness with a Smile' really think it can stump me?"

"At worst, I won't walk without laughing!"

["oops!"]

******

The video went black as Ningguang hopped and tripped over a threshold, making everyone watching laugh until their stomachs hurt.

[Hu Tao: Oh my gosh~ That's hilarious!]

[Ye Lan: This is definitely the worst time our Lord Tianquan has ever been slandered.]

[Paimon: Fine, I won't walk if I don't laugh! Pfft!]

[Gu Jing: Let me reiterate, this is merely a comedy adapted from reality.]

[Gu Jing: The scenes in the video are also necessary for the plot.]

[Gu Jing: There is some connection between him and me.]

[Gu Jing: But the drama exaggerates a lot.]

[Gu Jing: For example, Ningguang is my ex-girlfriend.]

Gu Jing: That's simply impossible.

[Gu Jing: After all, I'm not blind. How could I possibly abandon a beautiful and capable wife like Ningguang?]

[Gu Jing: As for being infatuated with Gan Yu?]

[Gu Jing: As you all saw, she's gentle and kind; she even gave me coconut milk!]

[Gu Jing: And it's freshly made coconut milk!]

[Gu Jing: Who can withstand this?]

[Gu Jing: Of course, that's why I made this video.]

[Gu Jing: The main purpose is to let everyone understand the situation on the continent of Teyvat.]

[Gu Jing: The situation on the continent of Teyvat is similar to that of Beloborg; both are the last pristine places on a planet, but Teyvat is relatively vast.]

[Gu Jing: There are seven other countries on the mainland.]

[Gu Jing: Liyue, where my three wives Ningguang, Beidou, and Ganyu reside, and Winterfell, behind the Fatui, are both among them.]

Seeing Gu Jing's explanation, Ningguang, who had almost been injured to death, couldn't help but laugh. Everyone else was happy, but she was still feeling terrible.

I have to make that bastard make it up to her tonight!