Don't use Type-Moon references in Oregairu!

Yukinoshita finally couldn't help but laugh out loud.

9. Your name is Tequila Hachiman.

"Tsk tsk, Don Quijote is amazing, they sell everything. I took a look and it seems like you could buy all the ingredients here and make a Molotov cocktail!" Fujimaru Ritsuka and Hachiman walked through the Don Quijote supermarket, strolling towards the cosmetics section.

"Molotov cocktail? Molotov cocktail?! You can make these too?" Hachiman Hikigaya didn't react for a moment, then his eyes widened.

Fujimaru Ritsuka's hands were itching, hesitantly but intently, before replying, "Ah, I accidentally learned how to make it. Hey, what's wrong with you?" He felt Hachiman Hikigaya slap his shoulder hard.

Alas, how cruel! Those experiences that remain in dreams cannot possibly describe even a fraction of the hardships Fujimaru Ritsuka endured in the past! While we were in high school, he was so lacking in resources that he had to make his own Molotov cocktails from Molotov cocktail bottles.

Hachiman Hikigaya sighed, thinking of Ritsuka Fujimaru's experiences, and couldn't help but feel immense sympathy for this peer: "It must have been tough! (That journey of saving and destroying the world.)"

"Ah, (studying hard every day to learn skills that might be useful) is indeed very tiring!" Fujimaru Ritsuka felt that Hikigaya Hachiman was imagining some nonsense again, but it didn't matter, as long as the effect was good!

Look, the tiny bit of resentment that Hachiman Hikigaya had just felt has completely disappeared!

I don't know what I did, but that's me for sure!

Fujimaru Ritsuka happily put the towel, several bottles of high-purity vodka, and some chemicals that Hachiman didn't quite understand into the basket, then turned to Hachiman and gestured, "Let's go quickly, I'll pick out a wig for you that will definitely look good."

His voice wasn't loud, but it was very magnetic, attracting flirtatious glances from the middle-aged women shopping nearby.

You could shut up a bit! What a great aibo! Too bad it has a mouth!

Hikigaya, like a goldfish struggling on a desk, opened and closed his mouth in vain, finally deciding to shut up and pull Fujimaru Ritsuka along as they hurried forward.

"Oh dear, Hachiman, why are you in such a hurry? Uncle will definitely pick one you'll be satisfied with!"

"Shut up! Or you can wear the wig!"

"oh....."

-------------------------------------

“Choosing a wig actually requires some skill.” Fujimaru Ritsuka picked up a wig and scoffed, “These machine-made synthetic hair products are garbage. It’s not just that they’re disposable, they look really fake too, and they won’t make you look like a high school girl at all!”

Hikigaya furtively glanced around, and only breathed a sigh of relief when he found no one. Still looking embarrassed and with a pained expression, he whispered, "Stop reciting, Master! Stop reciting!"

Fujimaru Ritsuka ignored her and picked up another wig, holding it up to Hachiman before nodding in satisfaction: "This one is very good. It's made of silk and looks like real human hair. It's handmade, so it's easy to trim and can be used to conceal the lines of your face. It's also lightweight, breathable, and comfortable, making it an excellent choice for women's clothing."

?

What exactly did you learn at Chaldea?! Was cross-dressing one of your lessons?!

The question mark in Hachiman Hikigaya's eyes was so high it almost pierced Fujimaru Ritsuka's back, forcing him to explain, "Ah, actually, when I was in Chaldea (playing FGO), I could freely switch genders, so there was no need to learn any cross-dressing techniques. Just kidding... hahaha~"

Chaldea... is full of weirdos after all! Hachiman Hikigaya believed it and considered labeling Fujimaru Ritsuka as "gender uncertain, but loves women".

After choosing a wig and a few suitable girls' clothes, Fujimaru Ritsuka had Hikigaya Hachiman fetch a few more items, gave him instructions, and then they lined up separately to pay—although Japanese bureaucrats are known for their meticulous craftsmanship, it's always good to be safe. What if someone actually came to check their shopping records and, wow, that's enough to make several homemade Molotov cocktails? That would be terrible!

Ah, although the young lady paying the bill had a slightly strange expression, looking at the wigs and women's clothing in the basket and revealing a knowing smile—"Young people really know how to have fun"—who is Fujimaru Ritsuka? I am a gentleman, upright and honest!

After paying without batting an eye and everything was fine, Fujimaru Ritsuka walked ahead, while Hikigaya Hachiman followed behind somewhat furtively, pretending to be two male high school students who didn't know each other, and left Don Quijote.

Tsk tsk, Teacher Da's mental fortitude needs improvement. I'll give him a copy of "The Country Bumpkin Citizen's Anti-Espionage Handbook" and let him try to apply it in reverse!

Fujimaru Ritsuka, lost in thought, picked up his phone and texted Yukino to confirm the address. He'd already checked with Yukino on their shopping trip; although she didn't usually wear makeup, she had a full set of cosmetics from her sister, and with the props he'd bought, he was sure he could create a perfect Hikigaya Hachiko look!

Hachiman shivered, feeling a chill on his back. Ah, even in late April, the chill of early spring still lingered.

-------------------------------------

“Hachiman’s features are actually quite good-looking,” Fujimaru Ritsuka said, holding an eyebrow pencil and examining him with the seriousness of a professional artist. “(whispering) For example, there are surprisingly many erotic pictures of Hachiman on Pixiv…”

"Huh? What did you say?" Yukino Yukinoshita followed along with an inquisitive mindset, but she didn't quite catch what he said next.

"It's nothing! His problem is actually those dead fish eyes, so rotten that no one wants to look at them a second time."

"Hey! I'm so sorry, it's rotten dead fish eyes! Hurry up! Let me die quickly! Hurry up and do it!" Hachiman Hikigaya is once again suffering a complete humiliation.

Fujimaru Ritsuka said impatiently, "Shut up! Here's the pen, you do your makeup!" After suppressing Hachiman Hikigaya's counterattack with one sentence, he said seriously to the inquisitive Yukino Yukinoshita, "The so-called art of makeup is the foremost of the four great evil arts of Asia. Hachiman is nothing, I'll take care of you!"

"Rotten, gloomy eyes? Then cover those dead fish eyes with colored contact lenses!"

"Then draw a light line with black eyeliner to make your eyes look bigger and more natural!"

"Add false eyelashes to create the illusion of watery eyes!"

"Use your eyebrow pencil to soften the arch of your brows! Let's get that literary look out of it!"

"Use light pink lipstick! Straight men all say it looks good without makeup!"

"This foundation has a good base color, close to natural skin tone, and it can also brighten the complexion."

"Add a few more details to soften the facial lines."

After watching the whole thing, Yukino rubbed her eyes, unable to believe it—ignoring the hairstyle, where did this introverted literature major with big eyes come from?

Fujimaru Ritsuka, hands on her hips, smugly recited a crooked poem: "Let's give you a new look, and make you wither away to the bone."

"Stop talking nonsense! Hurry up and get the wig done!"

"oh....."

Yukino Yukinoshita shivered. Judging from her face alone, without listening to her voice, she looked like a girl playfully complaining! The thought of Hachiman Hikigaya inside... are you kidding me? I feel like throwing up!

10. An Encounter in April (2k5)

Fujimaru Ritsuka took the scissors and put a wig on Hikigaya Hachiman, giving him the final haircut.

Yukino Yukinoshita rested her chin on her hand, quietly watching him busily working, then suddenly hesitated before asking, "Fujimaru, do you think what we're doing... is the right thing to do?"

I feel a little uneasy and a little lost.

Fujimaru Ritsuka didn't turn around. He continued to carefully trim Hachiman's wig, then pondered how to answer Yukino Yukinoshita.

He understood that Yukino Yukinoshita didn't need lies or comfort; she needed an answer.

Throughout her life, Yukinoshita has always been guided by the principle of "correctness," living a seemingly perfect life with integrity and honesty.

But that's not the case. What lies beneath the snow is, in reality, a [fake].

The "perfection" beneath the snow originates from the "guidance" of the adult world. Her seemingly independent and rebellious nature is, in reality, a self-constructed shell. Like a sea urchin, beneath its hard exterior lies the tender essence of an ordinary girl.

If the power of Heroic Spirits doesn't exist in the world, if underground caves don't exist, if Fujimaru Ritsuka doesn't exist, then the gentle and loving activities of the Service Club will gradually help her realize her true self.

But now? Everything is collapsing incredibly fast: experiencing Meltlilith's epic love story in the first person, ignoring the school's ban by entering the cave without permission, and now being encouraged by him to fish for the Yakuza.

Everything happened so suddenly, like a newly minted F-cup racing girl sitting in the passenger seat of a seasoned driver on Mount Akina, screaming and having her top buttons pop off during a five-shot (censored) drift through a drainage ditch corner.

But one of the culprits, Fujimaru Ritsuka, felt no remorse whatsoever, claiming that everything he did was for the sake of justice!

He buried himself in pruning, and asked calmly, "Are we doing the right thing to save the school and prevent the cave problem from getting worse and affecting the students?"

"...yes."

"Yakuza organizations are protected by the constitution and are legal organizations, but are the evil deeds they have committed justified?"

"No."

"If it's right for us to confront the enemy, but the opponent we want to exploit is wrong, can we still call it right?"

Yukino Yukinoshita remained silent and did not answer. She sensed that Ritsuka Fujimaru had confused the concepts, but she could not draw a conclusion.

Fujimaru Ritsuka finished trimming, looked at Hikigaya Hachiko's hairstyle with satisfaction, brushed the debris off her hands, and finally faced Yukinoshita directly: "If you're unwilling to draw a conclusion, then I'll tell you! It's not exactly correct. But I have my own conscience; I'm just a warrior who refuses to betray justice! As for whether I'm guilty? Let's judge me after everything has settled down!"

Fujimaru Ritsuka, revealing the fangs hidden beneath her gentle mask, arrogantly straightened her posture: "Keep thinking, Yukinoshita! If one day I cross the line, you are welcome to rebel against me! But for now, let's finish the unfinished 'work'! This is our duty right now!"

"Oh, I don't care. Mandicardo's experience tells me that as long as it doesn't violate morality, any tactic can be used to defeat the enemy!"

"Don't go around putting your arm around my shoulder and talking in Hachiman's voice after your perfect disguise, Hachiko! I'm going to throw up."

"Who is Bazi? You bastard, you are the only one who is unforgivable!"

"You mere C-level strength dare to defy me, who possesses B-level strength?!"

Yukinoshita watched the two of them bickering again, and her mood subtly lifted: "Are they still children! Fujimaru, you're going to ruin Hachiko's makeup!"

Fujimaru Ritsuka had locked Hachiman in an armbar using a move Muramasa had taught him, forcing him to frantically pound the floor with his right hand in a plea for mercy. Hearing Yukino's words, he quickly let go: "Yeah, then, Hachiman, let's get to work!"

-------------------------------------

In Chiba City on an April night, the spring breeze still carried a chill. Itsuki Yuuma tightened his jacket, walking along the sparsely populated street with his two henchmen, grumbling and cursing. His annoyance was palpable; seeing his underlings' lazy demeanor, he couldn't resist slapping one of them on the forehead: "Damn it! If it weren't for you bunch of useless guys, why would I, a dignified Wakatoshi (young master) support, be wandering the streets!"

The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Even Goto Yuma started kicking his own underlings. How could he not be furious?

Those audacious bastards actually dared to commit a crime in Chiba City and then disappear, completely disregarding the fact that this was their Tojo-gumi territory. It's said that even the other bosses under the Yamaguchi-gumi found out about it and laughed at their boss at a gathering, enraging him so much that he threw out all his subordinates, including junior officers, assistants, and henchmen.

This prevented him from attending AKB48 member Kojima Haruna's graduation performance!

Hina, my Hina...

The younger brother in the floral shirt didn't dare to resist at all. He could only stand there, enduring the kicks and punches, and shout loudly, "Hey! I'm sorry, big brother! It's my fault, big brother!"

After kicking him a few times, Yuuma Goto finally calmed down... Ugh, I'm still so angry! I hope I don't catch those bastards!

But in the past few days, they have visited various commercial districts and asked well-informed people for information, but they have not obtained any useful information.

Chiba and Saitama are both located within the Tokyo metropolitan area, attracting many office workers who commute to Tokyo. The cities themselves also have well-developed industries and fishing sectors, theoretically making them quite safe.

Even the East City Group, after taking a bite out of the shady profits in the fishing and port areas, is living a very comfortable and fulfilling life. Even this year, the number of people lending money and forcing others to go into business has decreased.

So the guy who committed those murders and kidnappings was most likely from out of town! Why do people say they didn't see many noteworthy new faces?

Yuuma Goto fell into deep thought, but just then another underling excitedly grabbed his arm: "Big brother, look! That girl is really something!"

Yuuma Itto looked up and saw a girl lingering under a streetlamp in the distance. She wore a white headband and a black and white sailor uniform, her long legs beautifully accentuated by thin black stockings. A cool spring breeze blew, causing her long, silky hair to flutter and revealing a pair of melancholic and serene eyes. She gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, appearing serene, peaceful, and beautiful.

Yuma Itohori's throat was a little dry. At this time and in this place, could this be the "waiting girl" those guys in Tokyo were talking about? But this girl has such a scholarly air about her...

"I really want to pin her down and see her cry! Hehehehehehe," the second brother chuckled lewdly, nudging his older brother with his elbow. "Of course, the first taste is reserved for you, big brother!"

"This guy!" Itohori Yuuma slapped him on the forehead, angrily scolding, "Haven't you had enough of those young ladies in the group who went into the adult entertainment industry?! You're always hanging around there. If it weren't for the good sales, I would have sent you to deal with those fish-smelling big men long ago!"

"Besides, they might have some unspeakable difficulties! Trying to lay a hand on a young girl? Bah! The Tojo Clan upholds chivalry!" With this, Itohori Yuuma raised his voice, as if to say something, "You all should know that the Tojo Clan protects Chiba!"

After saying this, Itohide Yuuma straightened his clothes, making sure not to reveal the tattoo on his arm, and walked over politely to ask, "Madam, is something wrong? Is there anything I, Itohide Yuuma, can help you with?"

The two underlings behind him gaped in astonishment—brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! No wonder he's the leader of our group, the assistant to the head of the East City Group! With this kind of skill, deceiving a naive and wronged girl who ran away from home is a piece of cake, isn't it? But this method doesn't seem like just a game; could it be that he already has a girlfriend?

Yuuma Itohori's heart was beating a little fast. Although his favorite, Haruna Kojima, was the sweet type with a huge figure, he was surprised to find today that a melancholic, literary beauty with a slender figure was also quite nice! Nice! Yay!