Why are you always thinking about dating me?

"And you, Lin An, what makes you sad?"

“I’ve always felt like my life has been a tragedy,” Lin An replied calmly. “Look, I’ve been an orphan since I was little. My parents abandoned me at the gate of the orphanage. Should I be glad they didn’t throw me in the trash? But let’s just pretend they’re dead. I grew up in an orphanage, and I was discriminated against and ridiculed at school. Later, I was adopted, and life seemed to get better. But in junior high, someone spread rumors about my background and used it to make malicious jokes. So I was really mean back then, and I beat up those gossipy people until they were scared.”

"Later I thought about it, life had gotten better, I had a beautiful girlfriend, and my adoptive parents loved me very much. Then my adoptive parents passed away in an accident, and my girlfriend had to give up on me for some reason. Tsk, I used to think that life was a tragic adventure. It gave me a little sweetness at first, and then took it all away."

So, if he and Xu Qinghuan hadn't always relied on each other, they might have already broken down and become twisted long ago, right?

This is the origin of the inextricable, tangled, and complex love between him and Xu Qinghuan.

Su Yuejin couldn't say anything. She saw the traces of worry on Lin An's face, but that worry only lasted for a moment before it dissipated. "Heh, it's all in the past. Now I'm living a happy life."

Su Yuejin seemed to suddenly remember something, and then reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Maybe I was sent by God to comfort you. All the suffering you had before is over. Now I'm giving you a gentle older sister to heal you. Come here, let me hug you."

Su Yuejin released his hand, then suddenly reached out and gently hugged him.

Lin An's body stiffened for a moment. Her body was very soft, and she held him very gently, as if afraid of breaking him. Lin An didn't speak. The slight confusion on his face disappeared, and he became a little dazed. Su Yuejin held him gently like that for a long, long time.

"Thank you," Lin An said suddenly, very seriously.

"Ok?"

"I said thank you, Su Yuejin."

In that instant, he could feel his heartbeat, which seemed to become erratically frantic, as if he had fallen ill. The little fairy seemed to have turned into a witch, casting a spell of love on him.

That sour, twisted feeling can also evoke a sense of purity and warmth.

The autumn sun was warm, and it felt cozy on people. Lin An was a little reluctant to let Su Yuejin let go, so he reached out and gently hugged her.

The crowd was bustling and noisy. The two stood under a tree in the corner. Su Yuejin's body seemed to tremble slightly, and her face inexplicably turned a little pink at that moment.

very nice.

"Yuejin, tell me, if you want to understand someone, do you need her to tell you on her own, or do you have to guess?"

"I think... I should guess for myself. What others tell you might be a lie," Su Yuejin replied softly. She cherished the hug because Lin An rarely hugged her on his own initiative.

"So what kind of person do you think I am, Yuejin?"

"You, on the other hand, clearly seem like a scumbag, like a big liar, pretending to be someone else to make people like you. At first, I felt so wronged, both wronged and angry at myself for being fooled, and I gave myself to you in a daze."

Su Yuejin said this softly, a smile still playing on her lips as she recalled the incident. "And then, it rained that day, you remember? It was the third day after we met, the day it rained when you went home, the day I took you home."

"Of course I remember."

"Weren't you sick that day, and then you were trying to reason with me? I remember everything you said, but the one I remember most vividly is that you said you wanted to take care of me."

Su Yuejin's voice is very sweet.

"At that time, whether you were feeling guilty or had a desire to make amends, I suddenly realized that you were actually a very good person."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because... I thought I was pretty pretty, right? I even took the initiative to come up to you back then. If you just nodded, you could have played with me until you were tired of me and then dumped me. But you didn't choose to do that, did you?"

"Yes, the day we met and slept together, I didn't even ask your name... I think that's why you hated me back then, right?"

"After all, it was sleeping with a boy whose name I didn't even know... But, that's not what I was thinking at the time. I was just thinking that I wanted to tell you I loved you, I wanted to prove to you that I loved you, I wanted to keep you, no matter what it took, I wanted to keep you by my side, and I felt that you would stay by my side too, so I would eventually find out your name, eventually learn everything about you, and then enter your life."

"Back then, I wanted to entrust my life to you, even though it was naive and stupid. I knew it myself, so you don't need to tell me... You and Xiao Chacha can't always treat me like a fool."

"That day I asked you to go to the movies, but you didn't come. So I went and drank a lot of alcohol by myself. It was raining outside, and I walked out drunk. I wanted to cry, so I cried in the rain. When I got into the taxi, I thought I would go home and slap myself twice, and then forget about you completely. Anyway, you will never love me in this life. It's my own stupidity, I'm such a fool."

"But I saw you."

"When I saw you leave with your umbrella, I realized that you were waiting for me. No matter what, you must have been worried about me. So you were waiting for me, but you didn't want to interfere in my life. I don't know what you were afraid of, but I chose to get off the bus. I wanted to ask you, I wanted to tell you, I wanted to talk to you about myself, and I wanted to understand you. Then I rushed into your arms and asked you to take me home."

"I think it was around that time that I made the decision. The goal of that decision was you, and the content of the decision was... about love. I wanted to try it myself."

"Regardless of right or wrong, regardless of winning or losing, regardless of whether it will end in sadness, I just want to try it with you."

Su Yuejin's voice seemed to murmur incessantly, each word landing in his ears.

Lin An's head seemed to be buzzing, and he didn't know what was going on. It was as if a space in his heart that was originally filled with someone had suddenly become empty, with the figure of that person added to it. He didn't know what he was thinking, but his hands unconsciously tightened their grip, as if he was afraid that Su Yuejin would slip away at any moment.

“I’m here, Lin An.”

She seemed to sense something, and then said softly and gently, "I'm here."

----------

Book One: Stockholm Lovers (The End)

Volume Two: You Accompanied Me Through the Long Years

Chapter One: What I Believe

"So, I don't think you're a bad person anymore. I think you're actually a very good person. Even though you always tell me that being a little selfish will bring happiness, you haven't actually been selfish towards me, have you?"

"You'll still be there for me when I'm lonely and sad, giving me what I want, but actually, what I give you is all dispensable to you, isn't it?" Su Yuejin murmured softly. She always had so much to say, and she could become a chatterbox in front of the person she liked.

"So you're not bad at all, but I think it would have been better if you had been a little bad when you first met me, otherwise I wouldn't have been fooled and missed out on you, you big liar."

Lin An smiled as well, "So, is this fate?"

“It’s fate’s choice, I believe in that.” Su Yuejin hummed softly, but then her voice carried a hint of disappointment that she couldn’t hide. “It’s a pity you have someone you like. The person you like must be very happy.”

Lin An just smiled helplessly and shook his head.

Su Yuejin was taken aback. "Are you telling me you lied to me?"

"No, there really is, but the story here is a bit more complicated. I'll tell you when I've made up my mind."

"Okay, I like listening to your stories."

Lin An released Su Yuejin's hand, though he still craved this tenderness, a tenderness that Xu Qinghuan rarely gave him—simple, pure, and unrelated to desire.

"What else do you want to play? I'll play with you." Lin An suddenly reached out, raised his hand, and patted her head. Su Yuejin obediently lowered her head and muttered with a slight resentment, "This makes me look like a little dog."

"what?"

"But it's okay, I like this feeling. I want to ride the giant swing, but didn't you just say that you'd die if you did?" Su Yuejin looked at his face.

"Yes, but I have a lot of courage right now, suddenly I have a lot of courage, so if you can, please hold my hand tightly and don't let go for now."

"I will hold on to it forever."

Su Yuejin seemed to understand, yet she also seemed to understand. Regardless of whether she understood or not, she held Lin An's hand tightly, and then the two of them went to play on the giant swing. Su Yuejin laughed very happily, and Lin An was still shouting, but this time, he would shout and then laugh.

After getting off the giant swing, Su Yuejin held Lin An and supported him to prevent his legs from giving way and making him unable to stand.

"If I get a hug from Miss Su Yuejin every time I come down, it doesn't feel so bad."

"Next target! The drop tower!" Lin An seemed to have become very excited again, full of energy, but Su Yuejin was even more energetic than him. She took his hand and ran towards the drop tower, their slender legs crossed, the autumn sun shining behind them.

Throughout the day, Lin An and Su Yuejin went on many thrilling rides, basically experiencing all the attractions in the amusement park. This was the only way to make the ticket price worthwhile. They also rode a two-seater carousel. Lin An gently hugged Su Yuejin's waist from behind and rested his head on her shoulder. Su Yuejin held a bubble machine in her hand, looking at the colorful bubbles, and smiled childishly and happily.

As evening approached, only a few warm rays of light remained in the distant twilight. The sun gradually set, and before the amusement park closed, there was one last ride left to enjoy.

Ferris wheel.

Lin An and Su Yuejin sat in the same carriage. The amusement park was very large, and music was playing in the background. Su Yuejin sat next to Lin An, her eyes flashing with a sly light.

Have you heard the legends about Ferris wheels?

"You mean the rumor that couples who kiss at the highest point of a Ferris wheel will stay together forever, just to make money off the leeks?" Lin An looked at her face and chuckled.

How do you know?

"Because that's what I said when I tricked my ex-girlfriend into French kissing me," Lin An answered frankly and purely. "And look, we've broken up now, so Ms. Su Yuejin, do you still want to kiss?"

"Of course I want to, I want to French kiss you too!" she said, then leaned in with a bright and passionate smile, wrapped her arms around his neck, looked into his eyes, her gaze clear and firm, her slender fingers parted his hand and intertwined with his, and then she kissed him.

..............................

After getting off the Ferris wheel, Su Yuejin's cheeks were still slightly flushed. She had been in a very excited mood all day. Then she looked up at Lin An and said, "I'm going to write in my diary when I get home!"

"why?"

"I want to write down everything from today, since it's such a happy memory. Shall we take a group photo?"

"Okay."

So Su Yuejin raised her phone and took a picture with Lin An. It wasn't a very intimate photo, but the two of them together looked sweet with bright eyes. Lin An was also smiling, but his smile was faint and you had to look closely to see it.

Su Yuejin happily showed the photo to Lin An, who was still holding her hand. After a short while, Su Yuejin looked at Lin An and asked, "Can I send this photo to Xiao Chacha?"

Lin An understood what she meant, and he just smiled helplessly, "You can post it on your Moments if you want... just don't admit you're in a romantic relationship."

"Really?!"

"Whatever you want." Lin An's voice wasn't hesitant. He just felt that doing this would probably make Su Yuejin very happy, because he really wanted to do something for Su Yuejin or give her something. He realized that he seemed to have really fallen for her at that moment, which made him stop thinking about it and wait until he calmed down before making any decisions.

Then Su Yuejin quickly updated her social media with an unedited photo. Before that, Su Yuejin's social media had always been blank. Her caption read, "Best male best friend."

Well, Lin An twitched his lips, inexplicably sensing a strong scent of green tea, even though it was at his behest.

"How about we go for hot pot? My treat."

"Yeah."

Su Yuejin drove him to a hot pot restaurant, Xiaolongkan, forever the best!

Su Yuejin enjoyed the hot pot meal very much. Sometimes, eating hot pot alone can be quite lonely. You have to wait for the food to cook, and if you're just sitting in a chair by yourself, watching the bubbles in the hot pot and the misty steam, you can sometimes feel lost and lonely, which can make you feel empty inside.

Lin An paid the bill this time. When they got back to the car, Su Yuejin stared intently into his eyes. Then she moved closer, reached out and lifted his chin. "So Lin An... do you want to go home, or do you want to go home with your sister?"

"……go home."

"Come home with your sister first, and then your sister will take you home, okay?"

"I don't think it's very satisfactory, what do you think?" Lin An turned her face away, avoiding her aggressive gaze. Su Yuejin pouted slightly. She understood... so she was a little disappointed.

“Okay, I’ll take you home.” She said this, then obediently drove, using the navigation to take him home. He didn’t complain or cause any more trouble on the way. But after parking, Su Yuejin suddenly grabbed his hand and gently placed it on her chest.

Then she winked at him and asked, "Can you feel my heartbeat?"

"If I can't feel you, am I a dead man?" Lin An replied with a smile. Su Yuejin leaned closer and told him that her heart was beating very fast. After saying that, she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so happy today, thank you, Lin An."

“I’m quite happy too,” he replied, unbuckling his seatbelt. He finally opened the car door, stood outside, and waved to Su Yuejin. “Take care on the road. Message me when you get home.”