Honkai Impact 3rd: My Days as a Captain in Schicksal

"Just read the comics! Why are you asking so many questions? You're such a problem child!"

"Knock knock knock—" A knock sounded at the door, and Mei's voice came from outside: "Is Teacher Keng here? Is Kiana here? I can't find her anywhere."

"Oh, Mei's here to see me! She must be calling me to eat!" Kiana suddenly jumped out of the sheets, grabbed her comic book, and hurriedly ran to the door.

"You can leave! Leave the comic! I haven't finished reading it yet!" Keng Huo hurriedly went to pull Kiana, but tripped over the bed sheet and fell to the ground. His lower body was tightly entangled in the bed sheet, and it would take some effort to untangle it.

"Mei, Mei, I'm here!" Kiana happily opened the door. "Let's go eat!"

"I made a lot of dishes today, to cheer everyone up for their final exams." Mei smiled gently from outside the door, then suddenly saw Keng Huo lying on the ground.

"Teacher Keng... what's wrong?" Mei asked, puzzled. "What were you doing just now?"

"Mei! Kiana is ungrateful and stole my comic!" Keng Huo decided to preemptively accuse her and seize the initiative.

"No!" Kiana hurriedly hid the comic book behind her back. "He clearly promised I could have it!"

"I told you to hold it, not to take it away!" Keng Huo was still struggling with the bed sheet. "After today, this early release will be meaningless!"

"Well... Mei, let's go quickly." Kiana pushed Mei, trying to leave before Keng Huo could get rid of the sheets on his feet.

Mei couldn't help but smile as she watched the two of them acting like they were performing a comedy routine: "How about Keng-sensei comes too? The headmaster and Murata-sensei will both be here today..."

"Kiana, give me back the comic first... I'm sorry, I have something to do later, and I've already eaten dinner..."

"...And I also made Mapo Tofu, you know?"

But now I'm hungry again!

Meanwhile, in the garden of St. Freya Academy, a small figure was sweating profusely in the flowerbed.

"Strange, I was definitely buried here, how could I have disappeared?"

Chapter Six: Roar, Theresa!

Keng Huo and his two companions headed towards Mei and Kiana's dormitory. Keng Huo happily tucked his comic book into his pocket, while Kiana kicked pebbles viciously behind him.

"What, you have a problem with returning it to its rightful owner?" Keng Huo smugly waved the comic book in front of Kiana.

"Hmph!" Kiana turned her head away, ignoring Keng Huo. "Mei, did you make anything I like to eat?"

"Huh? Kiana, do you have any favorite foods? I don't think I've ever heard you mention them before." Mei tilted her head, thought for a moment, and said, "But you seem to like eating everything."

"Waaah, we've been married for ages and you still don't know what I like to eat, yet you made that jerk's favorite food! Mei's so biased!" Kiana feigned sadness.

"Huh? No... wait, that 'old married couple' thing is just nonsense," Mei hurriedly explained. "I just planned to invite Professor Keng from the beginning, and I happened to hear him say that he likes extra spicy Mapo Tofu, so I made it... But Kiana really didn't tell me what she likes to eat?"

"Hmm... Mei, listen up, my favorite food is..."

"All the dishes Mei made!"

Mei blushed slightly, turned her head away, and spat, "Kiana, really... don't tease me about this kind of thing..."

"Where is it~ I love Mei the most~ I also love the food Mei makes the most~ I love everything Mei makes~" Kiana clung to Mei and acted coquettishly.

"Seriously... I just can't do anything with you..." Mei said with a slight headache, but her tone was full of doting affection.

Having eaten dog food the whole way, Keng Huo suddenly felt like he didn't need to eat anymore... he was already full from eating dog food...

“Youth is wonderful…” Keng Huo looked up at the moon hanging in the sky with an artistic air. “Back then, I was just as youthful and energetic. If I accidentally showed my face in public, countless beautiful girls would abandon their families to chase after me. If I showed up at the school gate, the girls who wanted to see me would line up all over the central square. The chocolates I received every Valentine’s Day could be made into chocolate sauce and eaten on bread until the following year.”

"It's a pity that things have changed so much. I wonder where those girls are now." Keng Huo said with a deliberately profound expression, but his eyes kept glancing at the two people around him.

What I got in return was an awkward look and a look that seemed to say I was mentally challenged.

"When I first met Teacher Keng, I thought he was a very reliable person. How come he's become more and more strange after we got to know each other..." Mei muttered in a very soft voice, just loud enough for Keng to hear.

"This guy must have had his brain ruined by the headmaster. Now he doesn't even bother to write a draft when he's bragging..." Kiana's gaze was unusually strange, as if she were looking at a rare species.

"I'm telling the truth! Why don't you believe me, a pure, kind, upright, and honest person!" Keng Huo's voice trembled. "If you don't believe me, go ask the headmistress. I only agreed to teach at St. Freya Academy to escape those girls who were chasing after me relentlessly!"

"Then why have I never seen any girls give you love letters since you entered our academy?" Kiana asked suspiciously. "And you're the only male teacher at St. Freya Academy. With such advantageous conditions, you've never seen any girls pursue you... You're clearly just bragging!"

Keng Huo looked up at the sky and sighed, "I'm telling the truth, why won't you believe me..."

"What kind of awful academy is this?! It's all yuri! Is it my fault I don't get love letters?!"

After chatting and joking all the way, the three finally arrived at Mei's dormitory. As soon as they opened the door, Bronya and Himeko were already sitting on the sofa waiting for them.

"Oh my, little Huo Huo is here too! Come over here and have a drink with me~" As soon as Ji Zi saw Keng Huo enter, she perked up and waved the two cans of beer in her hand, beckoning Keng Huo over.

When Keng Huo saw Himeko dressed so scantily today, he couldn't help but recall the miserable state he was in after being dragged away by Himeko that day.

A drunken Himeko is terrifying, because in this state, her moral compass has pierced through the earth's crust and reached its core.

That day, Keng Huo was forced by Himeko to drink two or three cases of beer, even without any snacks to go with them!

Pure alcohol, nothing but beer! And these are special alcoholic beverages supplied to the Valkyrie Squad, incredibly strong. Plus, you have to constantly be bombarded with Himeko's drunken tales, hearing her lament that all the good men in the world are dead, and being forced to admit it while still drinking… That day, Keng Huo was blackmailed by Himeko about stealing a sword, drinking until he blacked out. If Himeko hadn't also blacked out in the end, his pure and innocent body might have been compromised.

That early morning, Keng Huo crawled back to his dormitory with immense willpower. After locking the door three times over, he collapsed on the floor and fell asleep immediately. He slept for more than thirty hours. When he woke up on the third day, he was puzzled as to why he had only slept for a few hours. It wasn't until the headmaster stormed in and banged on the door that he learned he had stood up four classes the day before...

As a result, Keng Huo was hung in the garden by the headmaster for an afternoon, which was euphemistically called helping him sober up.

Just as Keng Huo was pondering how to refuse, the dormitory door opened, and Theresa walked in wearing her ever-present nun's habit.

"Everyone's here! Let's get started!" Theresa seemed a little sullen.

"Why does the headmaster seem unhappy? Has Teacher Keng gotten into trouble again?" Mei asked with concern.

"Hey, don't blame me for everything! Can you see my innocent eyes?! Mei, how could you bear to slander someone as pure and kind as me like this!" Keng Huo shouted from the side, trying to shift the blame.

"Well... it's nothing serious," Theresa murmured, as if she had something difficult to say.

"Auntie, why is your skirt so dirty? What were you doing just now?" Kiana exclaimed. "Look, the hem of your skirt is covered in mud."

Although Headmistress Theresa looks as young as a little girl, she is actually the most senior person present, as she is Kiana's aunt (as she claims to be); although Kō and Himeko are teachers and are of equal seniority, she is still the headmistress of St. Freya Academy...

Theresa's face stiffened, and she forced a smile, "Ah... well... I just went to the garden to trim the plants... yes, that's right..."

"Huh? The headmaster personally went to repair the vegetation?" Keng Huo said in disbelief. "Headmaster, you..."

"Ahem, as the headmistress, I cherish the school as if it were my own home. I often go to the garden to prune the branches! What, do you have some complaints?" Theresa glared at her.

"It's not that I doubt the headmaster's love for the school, it's just..." Keng Huo scratched his face, "Are you as tall as those shrubs and ornamental plants? How would you prune them?"

The atmosphere instantly turned cold.

"Teacher Keng is really..." Mei covered her face.

"He's very good at it, or rather, he's like a natural talent for making Aunt Flo angry..." Kiana said, whether in admiration or sarcasm, "No wonder he's the teacher who was pursued by countless beautiful girls who abandoned their families and homes, and only found peace when he hid in St. Freya Academy."

“I…” Theresa was speechless with anger. “I can’t jump high! Look at this 152-kilogram Oath of Judah! I can lift it like a feather! Jumping three meters high is a piece of cake!”

Keng Huo's gaze turned strange, and an image of a short figure leaping three meters high, wielding garden shears to prune tree branches, jumping and cutting off a branch with each jump.

Gradually, Theresa's image began to overlap with that of a muscular plumber who always wore overalls and a red hat, whose hobby was jumping three meters high and banging his head against bricks.

"I have a feeling you're thinking something really rude," Theresa said, her teeth grinding together. "Do you want to experience the Headmaster's Homu Flying Kick?"

"No!" Keng Huo quickly denied. "I was just thinking that Principal Xue personally takes care of the plants in the garden, which is a very loving thing to do. Especially since she works at night to clean up after the students who didn't do their chores properly, giving us a beautiful and peaceful learning environment, she is truly respectable. Principal Xue, I'll toast you with this Coke."

"Hmm." Theresa nodded in satisfaction. "It seems that Teacher Keng understands my good intentions after all."

"Himeko, I think if our academy opened a 'Flattery' department, Professor Keng would definitely be the department head, and a full professor no less," Kiana whispered to Himeko. "Could he have gotten into our academy by flattering people?"

Himeko smiled and said, "Oh my, Professor Keng does have exceptional talent in this area—but he was directly recruited by the headmaster, and I know nothing else about him."

"So they really got in by flattering Auntie, huh..." Kiana said softly, glancing furtively at Keng Huo to see if he noticed. "It feels like these two are working together, like they've rehearsed it."

"Well, this seems to have improved Aunt Flo's mood a lot." Kiana's eyes lit up. "That's right! There's something Aunt Flo would definitely like!"

"Auntie, Auntie! Guess what Keng Huo showed me today? The latest volume 37 of 'Houmu's Great Adventure'! It's not even released until tomorrow! He managed to get his hands on it early! Let's read it together!"

Keng Huo's heart suddenly skipped a beat.

"The Great Adventure of Houmu?" Theresa's eyes suddenly flashed with excitement, but she quickly suppressed it, putting on a dignified look. "What is that? I've never heard of it."

"Huh? Auntie, I saw a whole set of...uh...uh..." Before Kiana could finish speaking, Theresa quickly covered Kiana's mouth.

“Oh, so you’re talking about the birthday present I was going to give you,” Theresa smiled rather awkwardly, but only Kiana could see the strong threat in her eyes. “I remember now, Auntie didn’t know anything about this before. She asked the students at the academy what kind of gifts they liked before deciding to buy that for you as a birthday present. But since you’ve already found out, I’ll give you a different birthday present.”

Then Theresa quickly said to Kiana in a voice only the two of them could hear, "If you dare to continue, you'll be copying the school rules ten times!"

Kiana was silent for a moment, then suddenly spoke up: "So you really aren't going to look at your period anymore?"

Theresa gritted her teeth and replied, "Auntie isn't really interested in these things that only children like..."

"Ahem..." Himeko coughed twice with a complicated expression. "Theresa, there's something I don't know how to say... Well, actually, it's not a secret in the academy that you like reading the Houmu series of comics."

"?!" Theresa's expression instantly turned to utter shock. "You...you're talking nonsense!"

"Ugh..." Himeko pressed her smooth forehead with a headache. "If you were a little less obvious when you were sneaking a peek at the comics during meetings, I think no one would have noticed."

"?!" Theresa's expression immediately turned to astonishment.

"And... please stop using the excuse of handling confidential documents to lock up your office and secretly read comics..." Himeko dropped another bombshell, "Your secretary has complained more than once that the headmaster hides in his office reading comics for an entire afternoon, and she's the one who approves all the documents."

"Besides... it's not the first or second time that the students at the academy have treated you like a child and fed you... so don't worry so much about your authority as the headmistress..." Himeko added softly, "Anyway, that kind of thing doesn't even exist..."

Theresa's face flushed bright red instantly: "Enough! Stop talking!"

"There's nothing wrong with liking to read comics, but please stop using library funds to buy comics..." Himeko said slowly, as if she had made a difficult decision.

"I just love reading comics! Why can't I read them?! I want to read comics! Read comics! Read comics!" Theresa shouted as if she had lost her mind. "What's wrong with liking comics?! I put them in the library as public books after I finish reading them! I didn't embezzle any! The students love reading them too! I don't have a salary, where am I supposed to afford to buy comics!"

This time it was Keng Huo's turn to interject: "That's because the students heard that those comics were secretly put in the library by their lovely young school principal, so they're scrambling to borrow them... Now they've become like little library Easter eggs or proof of good luck... You have no idea... how much a copy of the Houmu comic you put in the library can fetch at auction among the students after it's borrowed..."

"Huh?" Theresa's expression froze instantly.

“It’s all fake…it’s all fake…you’ve all lied to me…” Theresa said with a mournful face.

"Admit it, Headmistress, you're actually more of a mascot in the academy," Keng Huo said, patting her shoulder in a tone that seemed comforting but was actually quite malicious.

“I am… the mascot…” Theresa said dejectedly.

"That's fantastic!" Suddenly, Theresa's eyes blazed with excitement. "Mascots get paid, right?"

"Huh?" This time it was Keng Huo's turn to be dumbfounded.