Honkai Impact 3rd: My Days as a Captain in Schicksal

"What then?"

"And then? There was no 'and then'."

……

Wuse Huihuo almost laughed out loud, because she remembered that her family was quite well-off. Although they were not rich enough to rival a country, they could still afford to provide a garden full of delicacies and bamboo flutes for the sect leader's birthday celebration. They were not like the girl in the story who could only give someone a Yamabuki flower instead of a raincoat. Not to mention that the Wuse family and the Ota family had absolutely no connection.

So at the time, she didn't understand why her mother would read such poems to her.

She remembered that her family in the Far East also had a garden no smaller than this one, but it didn't originally have the yakuri flowers that her mother liked. It was only when she passed through the Far East last time and was picked up by her family to stay for a few days that she discovered that large patches of yakuri flowers had been planted in the garden.

Colorless Firefly never said she disliked the Yamabuki Flower; she only knew her mother liked it. She wasn't particularly fond of flowers or beautiful scenery, because flowers only bloom for a few months at most before withering, some even closing within hours. If these flowers had anything they wanted to do, they could only do it during that time.

But when flowers bloom, they have only one thing to do: attract bees and butterflies to spread pollen and prepare for the next generation's reproduction. In the end, these flowers have no freedom at all, because their time and abilities can only support them in doing this one thing. Their colors are merely to lure those insects that greedily suckle at the nectar, or to give humans a reason to keep them in greenhouses.

She has a mission in a few days: to go to the Far East Branch, located on the border of China. Originally, she planned to go directly to the Far East Branch with Rita, but now she has changed her mind.

As for the missions, Rita can handle them. She wanted to go home and visit the flower field, even though the blooming season for the yamabuki flowers was over.

Because there was a swing in the middle of the mountain flower field, she wanted to swing on it.

————————————————————————————————————

Sitting in his first-class seat, Wuse Huihuo suddenly felt a pang of regret.

She wasn't regretting skipping work; she was regretting the more than ten-hour flight to the Far East, an expense she was paying for herself. During those hours, desserts were limited, there was no internet access, and she could only pass the time by watching shows on her tablet.

Colorless Flame glanced at the call request coming through the communicator and then turned it off.

She wasn't afraid of Otto's questioning. After all, her relationship with Otto was merely one of mutual exploitation, and neither of them had the right to demand any additional obligations from the other—besides, Otto had sent her to the Far East for only one reason.

One day is enough for that matter.

A few days ago, the archbishop talked to her about something, involving her in a project called "Lionheart." This was a good thing for her, meaning she would have something to do during this hiatus—although she would need to go to the Far East branch with Rita, undergo targeted training upon her return, and possibly form a temporary squad with others.

Whether it's walking too far, working with people she doesn't like, or doing group activities with others, these are all things she doesn't like.

However, her expenses had been quite high lately. After buying a bunch of models, her savings were almost gone, so she needed to do some work for Otto to earn some money for food, clothing, and other necessities. Other Valkyries had a base salary because they had various daily tasks. But Colorless Flame was different. She was too lazy to do those trivial and complicated daily tasks, so she decided to forgo the base salary and turn down those time-consuming tasks, only taking the contribution fee for performing special missions.

And now... it doesn't matter. If Otto wants to deduct her contribution points, so be it. She just wants to go home and swing on the swings.

……

"Swing..." Wu Se Hui Huo lay on the bed, covered with a blanket, with an iced cola next to her, but she didn't want to touch it.

Because the cola really isn't sweet enough.

She recalled the scene of swinging on the swing when she was a child. Her mother would sit beside her, smiling, but never saying a word. She would kick her legs on the ground by herself, swinging the swing very high, hoping that her mother would praise her with something like "Wow, you're so amazing."

But Mom never said that.

When she was little, she was always very resentful about this because she had seen her mother swing on the swing and she could not swing as high as her, but her mother never thought she was very good.

But when she grew up and became a Valkyrie, she realized that her mother didn't mean to be unwilling to praise her, but rather that she felt her swings weren't high enough.

The Valkyries often perform high-altitude rappelling in emergency situations, and the height of the swing... is really like playing house.

Even so, it was a happy time. Her mother would recite poems and tell her the stories in them, while she would ask questions that adults couldn't understand.

It seems quite interesting, I suppose.

……

She didn't want to recall the past anymore. She hadn't seen or contacted her mother for a long time, so long that she could only remember what her mother looked like, but couldn't remember what her mother liked.

Mom said she liked wildflowers, but she never felt that Mom really liked them; Mom said she liked sweets, but she always ate very little, and in the end, all the sweets ended up in her own stomach; Mom said she liked…

It seems that Mom hasn't said anything else that she likes, and even the things she has admitted to liking, Wuse Huihuo doesn't think Mom likes them that much.

It seems like they like something just for the sake of liking it; most of the female elders in the colorless family are like that.

Dressed in brocade robes and fine silks, in winter furs and summer linens, they sat in a row on the steps of the veranda outside their residence, with wagashi (Japanese sweets) beside them, gazing at the dry landscape garden in the courtyard. They sat there discussing poetry and haiku, amidst the fragrance of autumn and the glow of the moon.

But all she saw were empty, tasteless, and transparent shells beneath the colorful dyes, indistinguishable from one another.

Moss in the dry landscape garden surrounds the stones, like isolated little islands. The deep yellow terrazzo walls act as a curtain, harmonizing the colors of the entire courtyard and giving this austere space a touch of elegance. White sand outlines spiral patterns, like ripples from a stone thrown into water, and the layers of straight-lined white pebbles resemble waves, yet no one dares to step on them.

When she was little, she especially loved that dry landscape garden. She would often run around there when no one was around, just like running in the snow. Although the pebbles hurt her feet, she was very happy because this seemingly frozen artificial sea had finally come to life and had the vividness that should belong to the image of "sea".

She didn't know how much it cost to restore a Japanese garden, but as long as her mother intervened, no one would say anything. Instead, someone would bring her her favorite wagashi (Japanese sweets) and ask her softly if the pebbles hurt her feet.

Even as a young girl, she knew the difference between the main family and the branch family. The eldest son of the main family was always arrogant in front of others, but he would always become subdued when he saw her. She didn't know why, but her mother had said it was because she had once been a Valkyrie. At the time, she only thought that Valkyries were beings worthy of respect, and therefore she especially longed to become the Valkyrie her mother spoke of.

But when she said she wanted to become a Valkyrie, her mother scolded her for the first time.

Wu Se Hui Huo rolled over, always having so many things to reminisce about. Having been away from home for so long, the passage of time had imbued these memories with a caramelized hue, as if exuding an alluring sweetness. She didn't know if these memories were truly as sweet as she recalled them now, but if even these memories had lost their flavor, she would truly be like those flowers.

It dons vibrant colors to conceal its colorless transparency.

……

"Passengers, the plane is about to take off. Please fasten your seatbelts."

Colorless Flame sighed, stood the bed upright again, and fastened its seatbelt.

It's troublesome, but it would probably be even more troublesome if we didn't do it this way.

At this moment, a small sense of anticipation slowly welled up inside her. Although she had recently found home quite boring, perhaps this time going home would be different. After all, so much time had passed; surely home would become more interesting?

If she stayed at home for a few days, she would receive unlimited wagashi (Japanese sweets). When she left, she could ask for some money, and the family wouldn't refuse. To be precise, that whole family depended on her for survival; she was simply taking her own money.

As for whether those people will force her to wear those heavy traditional clothes that make her shoulders go numb when she goes home again... If they put all the desserts in the world in front of her and let her taste them at will, she might consider wearing them for a second or two.

It only takes a second or two; that's a fair trade. Life is short, so we should enjoy it while we can. If we let trivial matters take up our time for important things, we're really missing out, aren't we?

After all, for her, if she didn't do what she thought of today, she might not have the chance tomorrow.

Parasitism (Part Two)

When the colorless radiance appeared in front of the gate of the colorless family mansion, it caused quite a commotion. No one expected that this young lady would return at this time.

The colorless radiant fire didn't care, because there weren't many things she had the energy to care about; those things alone were enough to keep her busy.

Even though most of her time is spent watching TV series, eating snacks, training, and going on missions, she finds that enough to keep her busy.

“Young Miss, your bedroom has been cleaned. The Sect Master is waiting for you in the main hall…” a servant you’ve never seen before asked hesitantly.

The sect leader asked her to inform Wuse Huihuo to come to the main hall to see him, but she had always heard that this family member, who was clearly a descendant of a branch family but was called the young lady, had an eccentric personality and was difficult to get along with. In addition, the sect leader's serious face, which looked like he was about to draw his sword to kill someone at any moment, and the recent events, made her feel that asking her to greet this "young lady" was just taking advantage of her being a newcomer so that she could take the blame.

The Colorless Clan has a long family tree, which can be described as having many branches and leaves, hence the distinction between the main family and branch families. The title of "Young Lady" should only be reserved for the daughter of the main family here, but after the news of her becoming an S-rank Valkyrie spread, everyone's attitude towards her underwent a complete 180-degree change, and even the title of "Young Lady" was given to her.

Of course, it might be because the main family has no daughters.

Of course, the deeper reason is also obvious: the destiny has provided more financial support to the colorless family.

Colorless Radiant Fire felt a little annoyed. She had only come back to swing in the flower field and see her mother. If she had to see that old man as well... she would probably have to stay a few more days to make up for it.

If I stay a few more days, I can eat more wagashi (Japanese sweets), and it would be even better if no one bothered me.

However... since she went to Destiny, her mother has rarely contacted her. She wonders if her mother will see her this time.

"Young Miss?" The unfamiliar servant looked at the silent, colorless radiance with unease, fearing that this rumored capricious and rude young lady might give him some trouble.

"Oh, lead the way." The colorless radiant fire snapped out of its reverie and said softly.

She only needed to see that old man once, and then she could do whatever she liked. If that was the case, she felt it wasn't a bad deal.

"Um... please come with me to change your clothes first."

"Change clothes?" Wu Se Hui Huo frowned, her reluctance clearly evident.

Perhaps the rumors in the family were too terrifying, but the servant always felt that the colorless radiance was emanating a sense of resistance, making people feel as if there was a wall between them, and that even the air they were not in contact with was not connected.

"No, let's go see him directly."

“…Young Miss.” The servant wanted to say something, but the colorless radiant fire’s aloof indifference made her swallow the rest of her words.

"Lead the way," Wuse Huihuo repeated. She hadn't been back for a long time, and it had taken her a lot of effort just to find this house, let alone remember the interior layout of a house she hadn't lived in for more than a few years.

The servant nodded resignedly and led the colorless flame toward the main hall. The wooden clogs clattered on the wooden corridor, but no other sound mingled with them, making the quiet house seem even more secluded.

"Sect Master, the young lady has returned."

In the main hall, a sprightly old man sat before a table, wearing a crimson robe with the family crest of the Wuse clan arranged in groups of three in a staggered pattern. On the table in front of him were tea sets, with two teacups placed one in front of the other, wisps of steam rising from the surface, as if they had just been placed.

It's something she hates again.

The servant left the main hall silently, leaving only the old man and the young man behind.

The old man raised his head, his gaze carrying a natural sense of oppression from his long-held position: "I'm home now, I don't have to wear the uniform of destiny anymore."

"Oh." Wuse Huihuo was sitting at his desk, absentmindedly playing with his phone, clearly not paying any attention to the other person.

If she didn't have to wear the uniform of destiny, she would rather wear the clothes at home that were uncomfortable and heavy, and she would rather listen to the old man nag a little longer.

……

When she was young, she attended a Shinto-style wedding. The bride's pure white kimono was so beautiful that she couldn't take her eyes off her. The dark patterns on the kimono were embroidered with bamboo, scattered yet orderly, making the bride seem like a goddess who had stepped out of a painting.

Back then, she had imagined herself wearing a white kimono when she grew up, bowing her head before the shrine, waiting for her beloved to come and greet her. But as time passed, when she thought of the Shinto wedding ceremony again, she thought, "How boring," and "Is getting married really this troublesome?" She couldn't wait to turn around and leave.

She used to have romanticized the wedding because she longed for the bride's beautiful dress, but not anymore.

Because she could never wear those clothes, she no longer had those childhood fantasies.

Those plain brocade robes, shimmering and embroidered, shone like starlight on a summer night in her eyes. What girl hasn't dreamed of intricately carved robes and crimson brocade? Even the colorless flame has longed for color.

She once had color; even white is a color.

She should have had color, even though that color was taken away.

She wore a twelve-layered kimono once, a wedding dress her mother had custom-made for her—although her mother had reservations about her choice to become a Valkyrie, she still hadn't given up on this matter.

She still hoped that Wuse Huihuo could return, wear a girl's wedding dress, get married, have children, and become an ordinary girl who lived and died an ordinary life. But whenever Wuse Huihuo thought of the twelve kimonos her mother had made for her, she felt that it was her mother's silent attempt to persuade her to surrender.

Wearing that wedding dress is like bowing down to this disgusting graveyard, meekly becoming the humus at the foot of these tombstones.

She refused to accept this; even if she had to die, she wanted to die a thousand miles away from her home.

She even wanted to die sooner.

later?