Honkai Impact 3rd: My Days as a Captain in Schicksal

"Hmm... Keng Huo said you're very smart..." Kiana puffed out her cheeks, realizing that she had probably trained it too far ahead of its time and should proceed gradually. "How about... um... you go look for something first... whatever you find, just go look for it..."

The little pig was pushed into the garden by Kiana, completely bewildered. It still couldn't understand what Kiana wanted it to do and kept turning back to look at Kiana.

Kiana wasn't in a hurry; she could simply treat today as a walk with the pig. However, one problem was troubling her.

She couldn't remember where she had buried the potatoes.

Kiana tensed up at the thought. Those were the last few potatoes in the house, and Mei might be using them to cook tonight. If she found out there were no potatoes left, wouldn't she go hungry? She looked around the garden, trying to remember which paths she had taken.

The little pig seemed very excited after running into the garden, its four little hooves flailing about as it dragged Kiana back and forth in the garden. Kiana, finding the running around disruptive to her memory process, simply loosened the leash and let the pig play on its own.

But as she was thinking, she didn't notice that the pig had disappeared without a trace. By the time Kiana realized this, she could no longer hear the sound of the leash dragging on the ground as the pig ran.

"Huh? Where's the pig?" Kiana was startled and looked around the grass in a panic, but there was no sign of the pig anywhere.

"Oh no!" Kiana cried out in despair. "Did it run into the cafeteria? Oh no, oh no..."

The thought of that ignorant little pig being caught in the canteen, sprinkled with cumin and black pepper, smeared with oil and honey, and slowly rotated 360 degrees at a uniform speed over a fire, emitting an intoxicating aroma, made Kiana feel a pang of hunger... a pang of pain.

Kiana ran around the garden shouting the name she had just given the pig, but she couldn't find the obviously energetic pig anywhere.

"It must have run out of the garden!" Kiana clutched her hair, somewhat panicked. "But... once it's out of the garden, who knows where it went..."

"Who knows?" Kiana's eyes suddenly lit up, as if she had grasped a clue to a complex case, like the blood-written words on the wall at the crime scene. "That's it! Find Keng Huo—the two of them know each other!"

……

Keng Huo was sitting in his study, studying the information Wade had sent about [Sky Dome] and [World Serpent], when he was suddenly drawn to the sound of an archway.

The sound was like something rubbing against the door; it wasn't very loud, but it lasted a long time, making it hard to ignore.

Keng Huo stood up and walked towards the door, wanting to figure out what was nagging at it. But when he opened the door, he saw no one, only a somewhat familiar-looking leash dragging on the ground, rubbing against him.

Keng Huo's gaze followed the leash to the little pig rubbing against his legs. He recognized the black spots immediately as those of the pig he had given to Kiana.

"It ran away?" Keng Huo picked up the piglet and gently scratched its chin. He knew that cats and dogs liked it when people scratched their chins, but he didn't know if pigs would like it. However, he figured their front paws couldn't reach his chin, so it should be about right. "Wait..."

After careful consideration, Keng Huo felt that this might happen to someone else, and if it happened to Kiana... it was still possible, but there would be an option with a higher probability.

"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid," Keng Huo coaxed the little pig softly, "I'll take her out for a meal later, and once she's full, she won't think about roasting you anymore..."

Having figured out the cause and effect of the matter, Keng Huo decided to return the piglet to Kiana first, as she was probably in a great hurry right now.

Keng Huo first took out his communicator, but after thinking about it for a while, he felt it was still inappropriate. What if Kiana really wanted to roast it? But just as Keng Huo was about to put the communicator back in his pocket, Kiana called.

"Hello?" Keng Huo knew in his heart what Kiana wanted to say on the phone, but he didn't say anything and planned to see Kiana's reaction.

"Keng Huo?" Kiana's voice was filled with obvious guilt. "Um... what are you doing?"

"Me?" The hesitant tone trailed off, its tone taking a sharp turn. "I'm working from home, so what?"

Kiana was still stubbornly insisting, "Oh, oh... it's nothing, it's nothing... you go ahead and do your thing, I'm hanging up now."

"Wait a minute." Keng Huo's voice was calm and unhurried. "What do you want to do on the phone?"

"I...I..." Kiana hesitated for a long time before finally coming up with a better excuse, "I just wanted to hear your voice..."

That's it?

"No...that's all."

"Didn't we cause trouble?"

"No way! Do I look like the kind of troublemaker?"

"It wasn't a piglet that ran away or anything?"

"Um...no..." Kiana's voice drooped noticeably.

"Oh...then this one I found must be wild, right..." Keng Huo said slowly, "It looks just like that one—why don't you come over to my place tonight for roast suckling pig?"

"Stop! Keng Huo! Stand there and don't move! Don't move! Hold the position! Don't move!"

Keng Huo lowered his head and gently pinched the little pig's nose: "Well... let's wait a little while then."

Before long, Keng Huo heard a familiar sound, the pleasant clattering sound of skateboard shoes hitting and rubbing against the stone floor.

"You little rascal!" Kiana's sprinting speed could probably win her a gold medal at the Olympics, but she's using it to pounce on her boyfriend.

And it doesn't slow down at all.

With remarkable agility, Keng Huo dodged to the side, and with a flick of his wrist, a red cloth instantly appeared, blocking the spot where he had just been standing. He watched as Kiana, who had braked suddenly, slid a meter or two across the ground with the red cloth covering her.

"What little troublemaker? You should call me husband!" Taking advantage of the fact that no one was around, Keng Huo corrected Kiana's pronunciation clearly.

Kiana ripped the red cloth off her head, too anxious to check on the piglet's safety to realize its meaning: "Pah! Pah! Shameless! Who's your husband... Pah! Pah! Whose husband are you?!"

Keng Huo wasn't in a hurry, since his dormitory was in a relatively remote area, he wasn't afraid of someone suddenly coming and saying, "Your husband?"

"Nonsense! We...we're not...we're not married yet..." Kiana hugged the little pig, her voice trailing off, "Besides...you little devil, I didn't call you...why are you being so presumptuous..."

Keng Huo felt as if he had been struck by lightning.

"Little Rascal!" What an affectionate and tender nickname! It's like a charming and alluring "little nemesis," like the intimate closeness of whispering sweet nothings, or the gentle, doting touch of a dragonfly skimming the water...

Then the person who calls out that name with boundless tenderness tells you that you're deluding yourself; she's calling that pig.

Keng Huo immediately looked down and opened a search engine: "Wait a minute, let me look up how to roast suckling pig first..."

Kiana glanced at Keng Huo with disdain: "Jealous of a pig? You're shameless!"

"Well..." Kiana seemed to have thought of something else in the blink of an eye. She tilted her chin to the side, seemingly pleased with her brilliant idea. "But it's about the same, anyway, your charm is about the same as a little pig... You're not even as cute as a little pig!"

"How am I not as cute as a pig?" Keng Huo suddenly became anxious, trying to show that he was cuter than a pig.

Kiana glared at her: "You little rascal, you can run with a pattering sound! You waddle along the stone path, your tail wagging behind you! So cute!"

Keng Huo retorted, sticking out his neck, "I can do that too! Why don't you say I'm cute!"

"Show me a 'slap'!"

Keng Huo immediately bent down.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Seeing that Keng Huo seemed to be really going to perform a "pat-pat" sound, Kiana quickly grabbed Keng Huo's arm, both angry and anxious, "You're really going to climb..."

"Back when we were admiring the moon, you called me Little Keng Keng..." Any frame of Keng Huo's expression could win an Oscar. "Now that the new generation has surpassed the old, you call me... um... what do you call me?"

"I'll call you... I'll call you Old Keng Keng!"

……

Keng Huo led Kiana by the hand, and Kiana led the pig by the hand, as they walked out of the school.

"Here's my plan: first, train it to find objects, then it can go to the back mountain of the academy to dig up rare treasures, like 800-year-old mushrooms and 9,000-year-old ginseng..."

"Wait a minute, what kind of ten-thousand-year-old ginseng is this, only nine thousand years old?"

"...The breed! The breed is called [Eternal Ginseng]!" Kiana was still stubbornly insisting, "Don't interrupt, there's more to the plan—then it will run around on the mountain every day and become a very, very powerful free-range pig..."

"...I have a strange sense of déjà vu."

"Then train it into a fierce Kaslana War Boar! One against a hundred, charging into battle! When the time comes, dress it in plate armor, attach two ramming horns to its head, and it'll charge into the Honkai Beast horde with a thunderous roar—"

Keng Huo subtly masked his laughter with a cough: "Cough... I feel like this major is a bit too far off..."

"Hmph, you have the nerve to say that..." Kiana angrily swung her hand back and forth like a swing, "Everyone else gives roses, but you give a pig. Who gives a pig on Valentine's Day? I think you're a big idiot! I must have fallen into a trap to have fallen for a big fool like you!"

Keng Huo's expression was somewhat subtle: "You can't say that. Giving roses is an old trick from years ago. If flowers represent love, then they will eventually wither—so you see, isn't it better if I give you a pig? At least we can raise it for fifteen years, and even if we can't, we can find another way to let it live on in our hearts forever..."

"What are you doing?!" Kiana immediately became alert, holding the little troublemaker tightly in her arms, and looked at Keng Huo with a wary expression. "Did you just say something particularly dangerous?"

"No! I mean we can take lots of pictures of it, so that even when it gets old, we can keep it in our hearts..." Keng Huo looked around to hide his true thoughts.

"Then... what about when I get old?"

"..."

"When it gets old, I'll be old too... wrinkles on my face, fat around my waist, and a lot of hair falling out..."

Keng Huo turned his head, looked at Kiana whose face was full of indifference, smiled gently, and reached out to pinch her cheek.

"You don't need to worry about getting old. You'll still be lovely when you're old. And when you're fifty, I'll be fifty too, the world will be fifty, even the sun will be fifty—everything will be the same, except our hair will turn the same color..."

"...Stop, stop, stop! You can't say anymore!" Keng Huo could feel Kiana's face burning rapidly. She lowered her head, not daring to look Keng Huo in the eye, and murmured softly, "You... idiot, moron, big blockhead..."

"Why did you start cursing at me again when we were having a perfectly good conversation?"

"I don't care! You idiot! You moron! You big blockhead! I'm the smartest! I won't get old! When you're old and ugly, I'll dress up every day and make you jealous!"

"Okay, okay, Kiana is the cutest in the world, Kiana is the smartest in the world, Kiana is the most precious treasure in Keng Huo's life..."

"Waaah... Stop talking! Stop talking..."

————————————————————————————————————

Keng Huo initially thought Kiana was just joking, but in the following days, he actually saw Kiana walking the pigs up the mountain.

"You little rascal, you need to eat well, grow up properly, and build up your muscles. I'll take you for walks every day. You absolutely must grow into a successful ground pig... This is just a small goal. After you become a ground pig, I'll train you into a brave Kaslana War Pig..."

Keng Huo felt a pang of toothache: "...If it could understand what you were saying, it would definitely stay at home and refuse to leave!"

Kiana, who was squatting on the ground earnestly lecturing the little troublemaker, raised her head, her words full of confidence: "No way! It would definitely prefer to come for a walk with me!"

Keng Huo pointed to the hole the little pig had dug along the way, saying it was a pig's nature and couldn't be changed: "...Come out and dig a hole for you?"

"No, that's not it..." Kiana's voice trailed off, as if she was trying hard to hold back her laughter, and was about to burst out laughing, "Because Hishimaru is home today..."

"What's wrong with Himeko at home?" Keng Huo didn't understand the connection.

"Hiyomaru has recently developed a new hobby... When she's bored, she'll look for those little rascals and try to teach them how to become sentient..."

Children's Day Bonus Episode: Captain! I want a kids' meal!

The annual nightmare day has arrived.

On this day every year, the world enters a peak season for infectious diseases, and one particular disease has an extremely high incidence rate, concentrated in the 12-30 age group. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, intellectual decline, childlike emotional intelligence, irritability, and increased activity and self-awareness. When patients experience symptoms, they flood their social media feeds and groups with long, illogical but clearly meaningful texts, attempting to prove that they are indeed experiencing reverse aging.

For Keng Huo, the most common text passage is...

"Captain, take Bronya to eat the Houmu set meal right now."

"Keng Huo! I want a kids' meal! A kids' meal!"