The person who likes me is a yandere.

This is the only thing I cannot lose my composure about, but my mood has become subtly tense.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Her Affairs

I don't like being lectured by a third party because of what happened between us. Especially when this third party is an adult who is only concerned with instilling their own ideas from a safety perspective.

"Teacher, may I ask a question?"

"What's the problem?"

"Why am I being asked to help with the student council president's work?"

Ultimately, this is what caused our falling out.

If she hadn't ordered us to do this, I doubt we would have exchanged more than a few words with Tohka, who has lost her memory.

Just like before, I ran away from beginning to end. There was nothing I could do.

However, because of the teacher's suggestion, she and I were brought together in a very passive way.

Our relationship is no longer the ambiguous one between boyfriend and girlfriend, but a more obvious one.

If none of these things had happened, the current situation would not have occurred.

Do you hate me?

"No, I don't understand the teacher's reasoning. Why would the teacher suddenly make that decision?"

"The reason is... well, to put it simply, it's because that's what Tohka wants."

"Tohka-san?"

"Yes, it's her."

In contrast to my stiff voice, Mr. Yamada's voice sounded very gentle. I even felt that he was doing it on purpose.

"After she was in a traffic accident and hospitalized, I went to visit her. I was carrying such a big bouquet of flowers."

When I got there, I found that it was a completely different Tohka. I'm sure the teacher was shocked at the time.

"They checked me carefully several times, but still had no idea who I was. After they realized who I was, they apologized to me as usual."

After talking for a while, the teacher finally understood that the amnesia had indeed occurred. Tohka asked the teacher several questions.

Things related to myself, my classmates, and my friends.

"But the first person I asked was Qianyu-kun. What's her personality, appearance, grades like? Many things."

"Why would she..."

"Of course she cares. Because he's her boyfriend, you know. But Tohka was really shocked. She never imagined she'd have a boyfriend. She said she wanted to talk to you, but she lacked confidence, and she couldn't text or call at the time. And you didn't contact her either. I think it's understandable. Your relationship was pretty messy, wasn't it? Even if Tohka goes back to school, there probably won't be much of a chance for you to talk, so—"

"Haha, the teacher can see it very clearly."

Sure enough, the teacher not only understood the state of our relationship at the time, but also knew perfectly well that I had been avoiding her.

She understood all of this, but even so, she still made that decision.

“You can see everything clearly from the podium. That’s why I know more than you think. You don’t realize it usually because I’ve been pretending not to see it.”

"Then the teacher understood her thoughts and made me do that kind of work?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Doesn't the teacher think her actions were too extreme? She completely ignored my wishes."

"I do feel a little ashamed about this, I'm sorry?"

Can all that has happened since the end of summer vacation be summed up in just one sentence?

My voice started to tremble slightly for some reason.

"We're serious about this, you know. Are you going to say this next? Tohka was upset after you lectured her, so she stopped coming to school. She's deeply hurt because of you. She's so pitiful right now, let's make up with her, okay?"

Previously restrained emotions surged forth uncontrollably with aggressive words.

"I have no idea about that kind of thing. I don't mind at all. I don't have any strange thoughts about it."

"What doesn't Qianyu have any thoughts on?"

"You understand even if I don't say it, don't you?"

"Yes, but I want to hear you admit it yourself."

I answered her without hesitation.

"As a teacher, isn't fulfilling your duty simply by teaching well? Since when did you start acting as a part-time counselor? To be honest, it's really annoying. You're interfering in my personal life. So, please leave me alone. You have no reason, no obligation, no obligation to irresponsibly meddle in our affairs. You're clearly an outsider, so please don't talk to me or be friendly. I don't need any of that. The status quo is enough. This has nothing to do with you... It's all over!"

When I came to my senses, my feet were already burning. The chair that had been kicked away bounced off with an unpleasant thud.

A relationship that has been damaged once can never be repaired.

Because no matter how hard you try to pretend you've forgotten everything and reconnect with the person involved, the fact that your relationship was once broken won't disappear. It's just that both of you are pretending not to notice and are having a tense, cautious conversation.

The terrifying memory of hurting others and being hurt by others lingers like a scar. It's difficult for anyone to be friends with someone who has betrayed them. Completely forgetting the past is even more impossible.

This means that it has already ended and there is no future.

"No, it's not over between you and Tohka yet."

"It's all over! Everything we did recently was in vain!"

"But Qianyu doesn't know anything about her, does she? Not about anything concerning her."

"That kind of thing—!"

There's no need to know. She never talks to me about herself, especially now that she has amnesia. It's my fault that things turned out this way.

How can I date someone like this, and how can I maintain a good relationship with someone like this?

Why did she confess her feelings to me back then? To someone I'd barely even spoken to.

"There's only one way, and that's to find out how Tohka is feeling."

Miyai, who hadn't said a word until now, stood up. She seemed to be suppressing her emotions and quickly walked to my side.

"this--"

She handed me a cell phone. I recognize this phone. It should belong to Tohka.

"I've been keeping Tohka-chan safe since the day she ran away from you."

"Why……"

"You'll understand how Tohka-chan feels once you see it."

The data stored on a mobile phone. Personal privacy. Other people's secrets. Thoughts in one's heart.

Although I doubted whether I was truly qualified to know all this, deep down I longed to understand. To know how she really saw me.

Therefore, I took the phone.

There's somewhere on a phone that records the owner's feelings. I know that very well.

It was obvious that it wasn't a file library storing pornographic animations, but rather a text message mailbox.

Past conversations can be recalled through text messages. At a glance, the common recipients are Miyai-kun, her father, and her mother.

Only these people.

I kept scrolling down. From September, through August. Until the day Sakura-san lost her memory, or even earlier. Listening to the "voice" of the former Tohka-san.

This will reconstruct her personal image, retrieve fragments of memory, and recast a complete version of her.

I've been scrolling through text messages from several months ago, and suddenly they've connected with my memories.

Chapter Forty: Stop Running Away

I've been scrolling through text messages from several months ago, and suddenly they've connected with my memories.

Text messages should be deleted starting with the oldest ones, but her phone still had text messages from about a year ago.

What do you usually do at home?

What kind of movies do you like to watch?

What kind of food do you like to eat?

How did today's test go?

"Did they score a goal in the third period of football PE class?"

These were all just ordinary, polite phrases. But they were all preserved perfectly.

The recipients of all the emails are—Qianyu.

"—What are all these things...?"

"Tohka's room drawers are crammed with all sorts of movie tickets. And there are two of each kind, and none of them have been used."

Oh, speaking of which, she did mention that there happened to be movie tickets in the room.

The first time we went to the movies together, we didn't get to say a word and then left disappointed to go home.

Even so, it was a precious experience that the two of us shared, a time that was unique to us.

“Those are all text messages that Tohka wanted to send but didn’t. She was thinking that she would send them to you someday. They were all trivial things, weren’t they? But Tohka couldn’t even send those text messages smoothly.”

Kato Megumi's voice was filled with pity, or perhaps affection. I wasn't sure if this feeling was directed at me or at Tohka, who wasn't there.

"She agonizes every day about whether to send it or not. And some of those are my own ideas, you know."

"Why do this..."

"Because I want to get along well with Asagao-kun. I want to be a normal couple. Do you know why Yuri-chan never sends messages? I've been worried about it for a long, long time, but even so, I still haven't been able to talk to you. Do you know why?"

I buy two movie tickets every month, but they always just stay in my drawer. Do you understand why, Mr. Qianyu?

I didn't understand. I shook my head silently. I didn't understand anything.

"Because of Mineyasu-kun, he has always been afraid of Tohka-chan. He has always tried to avoid her."

As Tohka-chan once said—Asago-kun is scary. She finds it scary because no matter what she does, she gets disliked. After experiencing being disliked once, she never finds another chance to improve the relationship.

That's true. After failing once, it's impossible for them to get back together with me.