Konoha Drunkard

"Hmm! Not bad!" Danzo looked at his lead horse with satisfaction. He hadn't expected this guy to speak so nicely. Although he was still a bit awkward, he was starting to improve.

"Ah! What a pity!" Yamanaka Hio suddenly sighed.

"Oh? What's a pity?" Danzo looked at the new leader.

"It's a pity that no one in this world can rival Lord Danzo in strategy. Lord Danzo is too invincible! It will be incredibly lonely without any rivals in the future!" How could Yamanaka Hio let his apprentice, who had only been learning from him for a few days, overtake him?

Danzo's soul was elevated by Yamanaka Hiroo's breath, as if he were radiating a dazzling holy light. At that moment, he was the king of the world.

Aburame Ryoma looked at Yamanaka Hio with admiration. His teacher was indeed a teacher; this unintentional praise was truly eye-opening!

245. Stealing kills is the key to victory.

"Yeah! It's so lonely. I wish God would give me an opponent!" Danzo never knew that showing off could be so exhilarating.

"Hi-nan, how's your learning of the clan's secret techniques going?" In the ninja world, it's not enough to just be nice-talking; strength is also very important. This rare favorite general is very nice-talking, but his talent is somewhat lacking. He's really afraid that one day this favorite general will be killed, so he's very concerned about his favorite general's strength.

"I am ashamed of my undeserved kindness, sir. You have shown me great affection, but my talent is less than one ten-thousandth of yours. I practice desperately every day, hoping to serve you as soon as possible, but... my progress is extremely slow." Yamanaka Hiro looked ashamed, tears welling up in his eyes. He remembered Shanks's book saying that to act well in a crying scene, one must use real tears, so to force those two tears out, he kept recalling the scene of his mother's death.

He would never tell Danzo that he'd mastered almost all of the clan's secret techniques and was probably even more powerful than him now! Strong ninjas in Root were meant to do wicked things, and the more wicked they did, the faster they died. Nothing beats being able to brag to Danzo every day, getting two hours of praise and having the rest of the time to themselves—it's great! Now he's got a powerful leader; nobody dares to mess with him except Danzo!

"Oh! I've really put you in a difficult position! I was too impatient. No wonder you've looked so haggard lately. How about this, I'll go find Hiruzen and ask him for the Scroll of Sealing Techniques so you can learn from it. Perhaps you had some talent for ninjutsu back in the day," Danzo said, looking at his heartbroken and distressed general. Indeed, no one is as perfect as him.

"Thank you so much, sir! I will never give up my life for your kindness!" Yamanaka Hiroko said excitedly, kneeling down and kowtowing.

"Alright! Alright! Go back and rest. You need to practice your secret techniques, but you also need to rest!" Danzo pulled his beloved general back, preventing him from kneeling.

Ryoma Aburame, watching from the side, almost wanted to take out his notebook to write it down. This young teacher had managed to charm Lord Danzo with just a few words, and he could even see the Book of Sealing! You have to know that he has been following Danzo for almost ten years, and Danzo has never given him the Book of Sealing, let alone many of his family's secret techniques.

And... this isn't from practicing ninjutsu and looking haggard, it's from partying in the Red Bronze Zone every night! He spends his days gathering information for Danzo, risking his life against others, and Danzo never once shows him any concern. There's no comparison between people like this. This also strengthens his resolve to learn from this boy and surpass him; the top horseman's position can only be his...

"Ryoma, have you found out who framed me?" Danzo interrupted Ryoma Aburame's thoughts with a stern face after Yamanaka Hiro left.

"Lord Danzo, we have confirmed that this person does not exist in the Land of Fire. As for whether this person secretly left the Land of Fire more than a year ago, it is impossible to find out because so much time has passed. However, I am certain that there has been no one in Konoha with the same injuries as you in the past two years." Aburame Ryoma said confidently. When it comes to gathering information, he is second to none in Root. The insects on his body are all his ears.

"Then keep searching for me. If you can't find it in the Land of Fire, then search the entire ninja world." Danzo said with a dark face. Every time he thought about someone breaking into his dream lover's boudoir, he felt a pang of discomfort, especially since the person wanted him to take the blame. He couldn't eat or sleep until he had torn this person to pieces.

...........

Shanks, the instigator of Danzo sneaking into Haru's room, is currently bragging to a group of Cardinal's classmates.

"If you want to succeed in the ninja world, you must remember one thing. Take out your pens and paper and write it down. This is important; it will be on the exam!" Shanks said, standing on the podium for the first time in a long time, looking at a group of kids.

Shanks was enjoying a comfortable sunbath under a big tree today when some kids, who had been amazed by his immense strength last time, came over wanting to hear him brag. However, the kids weren't very well-prepared; every time he finished a section, several kids would come over and ask him to do it again, making him do one section ten or more times before he even finished the next!

So, for the sake of the next generation of the village, the great Yonko Shanks added a new activity to his daily schedule: visiting a class every day to give a pep talk. Today it just so happens to be Asuma's class.

"Ahem! Listen up, you should take this as your life motto: 'When you're weak, play cautiously and don't be reckless. In the mid-game, fight team fights and steal kills. In the late game, when you're almost fully developed, don't be reckless and go all out to farm Baron!' Do you know why Sakumo Hatake is so strong?" Shanks was very pleased to see that everyone except Asuma, that good-for-nothing, was taking notes seriously.

"Because Lord Sakumo is talented," Asuma said in a slick, flippant manner.

"Asuma answered incorrectly. Go home and write a 100,000-word reflection on today's class for me." Shanks threw a piece of chalk at Asuma's head, sending it flying. You little brat, you think you can't be dealt with? Do you think I'm some kind of Kame Saburo?

"What?! 100,000 words! That's too much!" Asuma groaned, scratching the bump on his forehead.

"A lot? Shikaku wrote a million-word self-criticism back then. If you admit that your brain isn't even a tenth as good as his, then I won't need you to write it!" Shanks deliberately looked at him with disdain.

"How...how could this be! I'll write it anyway!" Whether it was Shanks's gaze or the girl with the colored contact lenses' gaze that worked, Asuma stubbornly persevered to the end.

"Very good! I admire your stubbornness!" Shanks looked at Asuma with admiration.

"Since you don't know, then I'll tell you! The reason why Sakumo is so strong is because he farms so much experience. Back when we teamed up, he stole most of the kills. He was the infamous kill-stealer in Konoha back then! If it weren't for my amazing talent, I might have been surpassed by him by now!" Shanks boasted while also bragging about himself.

"Oh! So that's how it is. Write it down, write it down." The group of kids below suddenly realized. It didn't matter if they didn't understand the previous ones, they just wrote them down. But they understood this sentence: So, stealing kills is the key to victory.

Kame Saburo, hearing Shanks' words from below, burst into tears. Of the first batch of students, apart from a few who were doing better and were now guarding the Hokage, the rest were either crippled by their teammates or were still hiding in Konoha, developing their skills... all because of his boss's words.

He couldn't understand why none of those students from the elite class, even if they weren't geniuses, had made it big. Turns out they were all just playing it safe and developing their skills... and those who wanted to get ahead got killed by their teammates while trying to steal kills!

246. This is a bad example.

"Principal! What did you mean by 'developing stealthily' earlier?" Ebisu was quick-witted and dropped the word "vice" in front of the principal. No wonder he was able to become the Third Hokage's teacher. Shanks thought he was able to become the Third Hokage's teacher because he had become Asuma's older brother.

"This student, you have great potential! I have high hopes for you!" Shanks gave Ebisu a thumbs up, just because the principal hadn't been appointed vice principal before.

"The so-called 'stealthy development' is very simple. When you're weak and encounter a powerful enemy, the first thing you should do isn't to fight back, but to retreat strategically! Remember, this isn't cowardice. Only by staying alive can you have endless possibilities. You're still young and have a long life ahead of you. There's no need to fight a middle-aged man to the death; it's not worth it no matter how you look at it. If you can't beat him, you can always adopt him later!"

"Tch! It'd be so embarrassing to mess with him!" This scoundrel is clearly trying to show off, especially in front of the girl with colored contact lenses.

"Oh! Asuma is indeed the Hokage's son, his Devil Fruit is quite powerful. I'll add another 100,000 words to his thoughts." Shanks was seeing that Asuma was going to use him as a wingman.

"Why? I didn't say anything wrong!" Asuma was just that stubborn!

"Wave!"

Shanks gave him a little bit of power and knocked him unconscious.

"You students, you see? This is a bad example. Because I'm also from Konoha, I only knocked him unconscious. What if he were an enemy?" Shanks continued to say to the little brat.

"Of course, the so-called 'stealth development' isn't just about being stealthy; it also involves development. As for how to develop, it means that when you find out the enemy's strength, you should try to find weaker opponents to fight. Remember, this isn't bullying the weak; it's protecting Konoha! Understand?" Shanks continued.

"Sogga!" A group of children seemed to have found a way to move forward on their life's journey.

"Cough, cough! Didn't the headmaster's book say that you and Lord Sakumo assassinated the Second Kazekage when you were young? Isn't that just sneaky development?" Gekko Hayate asked, looking like a patient with late-stage lung cancer.

"That's a good question from this student; they've learned to ask questions." Since someone was automatically offering him a life-or-death question to boast about, he felt embarrassed not to.

"There were two reasons why the two of us, Sakumo and I, were able to successfully assassinate the Second Kazekage. First, we had already amassed considerable experience before the assassination. Don't underestimate us just because we were young; our incredible talent and strength didn't match our age. Second, at that time, Sunagakure's main fighting force was concentrated in the border regions, leaving the area vulnerable. Furthermore, the Second Kazekage was suppressing the Tailed Beasts, which gave Sakumo and me the opportunity to assassinate him. However, that situation was extremely dangerous. On our way back to the village after the assassination, we encountered over ten ambushes. If we hadn't been so strong, we might have died on the way back," Shanks boasted confidently.

"Oh!" Whether they really understood or were just pretending, even Shanks himself didn't understand.

"The second thing is to be low-key, which means learning to be ordinary. Too many geniuses in the ninja world fail before they even grow up. Why is that? It's because they are too arrogant. As soon as they have some strength, they think they can beat the heavens and the earth. These kinds of people die the fastest in the ninja world. Only those who are low-key will eventually succeed. Geniuses who die in the ninja world are nothing. Only those who survive are the strong!" Shanks rambled on.

Kame Saburo silently watched as the little brats below began taking notes again, much more attentively than they did in class.

Kame Saburo racked his brains trying to figure out why this was happening. He used to teach them so earnestly, but not a single one of them listened attentively. Yet, when the leader was rambling on and on about something he couldn't understand at all, these little brats were taking notes so diligently. Kame Saburo silently shed tears of sadness.

Shanks looked at the good students below with satisfaction, except for Asuma. This was the effect of successful people. The ancients were right. Successful people can make sense no matter what they say, while what unsuccessful people say is just bullshit!

"Alright, that's all for today's lesson. If you still have any questions, you can ask your homeroom teacher, Mr. Takenaka. He's the best teacher in our school. He's the one who mentored some of the most outstanding geniuses in the village!" Shanks gave his underlings a final plug. He wasn't exaggerating; he really was the one who mentored Minato and the others, though Shanks had taken the credit.

"I never expected that the teacher, who usually acts so respectable, would be so amazing..." The little kid was so easy to fool. After hearing Shanks' words, he looked at Kamezaburo with a gleam in his eyes.

"Ahem! That's all for today's class." Kame Saburo, sensing the admiring gazes of the kids, coughed a few times, adopting a teacherly demeanor, after Shanks had someone else present.

..........

After Shanks happily boasted for a while, he hadn't gone far from the classroom when he saw three figures in his usual spot. One was lounging in a grandfather chair, leisurely basking in the sun, seemingly asleep; another, with a ball-shaped figure, was constantly stuffing fruit and snacks from the table into his mouth, his mouth seemingly never full; and the third was quietly leaning against a large tree, looking like a handsome young man.

"What are you three doing here? Are you bored?" That's right, these three are the nominal members of Shanks' squad, the in-game Ino-Shika-Cho trio.

"Um... Teacher... The Hokage sent us to find you... Um... We need a recommendation letter from a Jonin." Akimichi Choza said while eating.

"What kind of Jonin recommendation letter? I've never heard of that. Eat slowly, don't choke. Isn't lazy Shikaku already a Jonin?" Shanks said, bewildered.

"The Hokage said that because we haven't accumulated enough mission experience to be promoted to Jonin level, we need a letter of recommendation from the team leader," Yamanaka Inoichi explained.

Under normal circumstances, the two of them could have been promoted to Jonin, but their team leader was lax and their teammate was lazy. As a result, after several years, except for the lazy guy who was promoted to Jonin due to special reasons, he and Choza have been stuck in Chunin for several years.

"Oh, is that so?! I feel really sorry for you guys, having a lazybones among your companions." Shanks showed absolutely no awareness of being a team leader.

"Teacher, you don't seem to have taken us on any missions above Rank C, have you?" Little Cannon, who had woken up at some point, said lazily.

"...No? Do I look like such an irresponsible person?" Shanks stroked his chin, staring at the small rocket launcher. This little rascal's moral character is terrible.

"It seems... there have been a few times..." Little Cannon finally remembered that the person opposite him was his father-in-law.

247. Obito's world is about to be overthrown.

"Here you go. Remember to throw a thank-you banquet when you get promoted. Being your team leader is tiring." Shanks took out his exclusive Dionysus sword card, wrote a bunch of words on it, and threw it to Yamanaka Inoichi.

"...Understood, Master! We're off then." Yamanaka Inoichi took the card, glanced at it, and disappeared. What kind of ridiculous recommendation is this? He doesn't even know if the Hokage will approve it, and this is supposed to be a teacher appreciation banquet?! You're kidding me!

"Haiyi, let me see what it says!" Fatty Dingzuo leaned over and glanced at the contents of the card.

"After careful consideration, Yamanaka Inoichi and Akimichi Choza have demonstrated positive attitudes, unity, love, liveliness, and selflessness in Shanks' team for many years. They have diligently listened to the instructors' guidance and effectively implemented the tactical essence of playing cautiously in the early game, clearly dividing roles in mid-game team fights, avoiding recklessness, and not stealing kills. Therefore, the team leader recommends that the Chunin Yamanaka Inoichi and Akimichi Choza be promoted to Jonin!"

"puff!"

After watching the video, Fatty Dingza almost spat out all the snacks he was eating onto Yamanaka Inoichi's face.

"Shikaku, will this work?" Dingza asked the little guy next to him, looking at the random scribbles on the card.

"...It should be fine, right? The Hokage is just going through the motions." Little Sky Cannon looked at the inappropriate content on the card with a black line on his face.

.........

Today was a busy day for Shanks. He had just sent away his nominal disciples, the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, and before he could even lie down, Obito rushed over.

"Vice Principal! I don't want to be a ninja anymore, I want to go back to school!" Obito came up to Shanks and grabbed his leg, refusing to let go.

"What's going on? Did someone beat you up?" Shanks was completely bewildered by Obito. Who starts crying right away without any foreplay?

"Waaaaah! This is worse than being beaten up! I don't want to be a ninja anymore, let me go back to school!" Obito clung tightly to Shanks' leg and cried loudly.

"Then you have to tell me what's going on! Besides, there's no such thing as a ninja who can just become one if they want to and not become one if they don't. Do you think this is child's play?" Shanks looked helplessly at Obito, whose flowery pants were soaked with tears.

After hearing Shanks' words, Obito began to recount his ninja life over the past year.

Since graduating, he has been teaming up with Kadian for missions, and every day they have been endlessly grinding simple D-rank missions. These missions offer little experience and rewards, and they are not exciting at all. For a five-year-old kid, this situation is worse than being killed.

Later, after much coaxing, Minato managed to get them to leave the village once. That time, he slept soundly through the night, and when he woke up, Kakashi had already completed the mission. For an ordinary little kid who had already left the village, how could he possibly be willing to do odd jobs in the village every day? Not everyone has the mindset of the Hatake clan.

Obito was just that kind of kid. After leaving the village, he thought he could leave the village every day. But after that, he and Kakashi started a long life of doing odd jobs. Before, when school was over, his world Rin would come to talk to him and Kakashi. But for some reason, Rin hasn't come even once in the past month.

So yesterday afternoon, when Obito was about to go find his World Rin, he discovered that some brat was flirting with her. And seeing that his World Rin and that brat were chatting quite happily, Obito thought of a thousand and one ways to win World Rin back when he got home. However, all these methods had one important prerequisite... that is, he had to get back to school first, otherwise all ten thousand methods would be in vain.

But he has already graduated and there is no way he can go back to school. So after thinking for a few days, a handsome figure appeared in his mind. Since the vice principal thinks so highly of him, he will definitely help him. So today he squatted near the school for a long time. After the little Ino-Shika-Cho left, he felt that the feelings he had been building up were about right. He immediately ran over and hugged Shanks' leg while crying for help.

"..." Shanks was speechless after hearing Obito's reasoning. This kid was only six years old and already understood such a high-level idea as sacrificing for love. No wonder he would be so awesome later on.

However, Shanks recalled that the brat Obito mentioned was Ebisu! Holy crap! How did that brat survive and not get killed by the evolved Obito?! Didn't he know that Rin was someone you shouldn't touch?!

"Are you overthinking this? I stand guard at the school gate every day, and that brat chatting with your little sister Lin is none other than Ebisu from your class! You have so little confidence in yourself, it's really disappointing!" Shanks looked at Obito with feigned disdain. For this type of kid, comforting and persuading are useless; the most effective method is to provoke him, to really provoke him.

"How could that be! I have a lot of confidence in myself. I was just worried that Rin would be fooled by that bastard Ebisu because she's naive!" Obito stopped crying as expected.

"That's why I said your level is still too low. Think about why Asuma keeps pestering Kurenai, while Kurenai still likes Kakashi?" Shanks said, sounding like a love guru.

"Why?" Obito pondered, stroking his chin.

"Of course Kakashi is better. Would someone as good as him be afraid of losing his girl? You're just as good as Kakashi, both being the youngest genin in Konoha. Who is Ebisu? Just an ordinary kid with average talent. And you're afraid he'll trick Rin into marrying you? Where did your genius confidence go? I'm really disappointed in you, Obito." Shanks looked at Obito with disappointment.