Konoha Drunkard

"Hehe, Captain, you've been waiting. The medicine is ready. Because of its high purity, I must remind you that you only need one or two drops, and no more than three drops. This medicine not only stimulates hormones but also life force. If the dosage is too high, it may cause Kakashi to lose his life force too quickly, which could lead to sudden death."

When Shanks finished his bottle of wine, Snake had also finished his distillation. Snake was holding an exquisite bottle containing a deep red liquid, but only a small amount, probably just two or three drops.

Orochimaru won't extract too much either, after all, this captain is notoriously unreliable. If he's not careful, he might give Kakashi too much, but where will he find a son to compensate for Sakumo? As for Shanks' personal guarantee that he'll keep it a secret... just listen to it, don't take it seriously.

"Wow! The great scientist is indeed amazing. Well then, I'll be going now. Your sons are so boring, they can't even utter a fart in ages."

After Shanks put away the small bottle, he made a comment to Orochimaru and then closed his eyes.

←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

.......

"Lord Orochimaru, who is this old man? Why do you call him Captain?"

After Shanks disappeared, a question that was on the minds of almost all the children was asked by a very similar person.

In their hearts, Lord Orochimaru is a powerful and omnipotent being, a god-like existence.

"Hehe, Lu Ma-kun, do you still remember the Heavenly River in the middle of Kirigakure?"

Snake Uncle did not answer the girl's question directly, but instead asked Lu Majun.

"I remember, Lord Orochimaru, but what does this have to do with that old man?"

After recalling for a moment, Lu Majun turned around and said, "Of course I remember the river in Kirigakure. I used to play in the mud on that beach when I was a kid!"

"Hehe, actually, Kirigakure didn't originally have that river. Kirigakure was originally an island, and that river was formed by someone forcibly splitting Kirigakure in two."

Snake looked at the girl who had just asked the question and said, "Unbeknownst to me, Snake has once again helped his boss gain some reputation points."

"Could it be...that he's the one who cleaved that? That's too incredible!"

The girl exclaimed in shock, utterly unable to comprehend what method could possibly split an island in two; it was beyond her comprehension.

Not only the girl, but also the boys of similar age around her were dumbfounded. Splitting an island in two was simply too outrageous.

Even Lu Majun was surprised; he couldn't believe that the unkempt old man was actually a formidable figure. Besides him, there were also some kids from Kirigakure among the group, but they were young, some born after their families were wiped out, or their families were wiped out shortly after they were born, so they had no idea and no way of understanding.

But Lu Majun is different. He was born when the Kaguya clan was wiped out. He used to think that the river in Kirigakure was naturally formed and that the village was made up of islands. Now he knows that it was actually cleaved out by someone. The more he knows about the situation, the more shocked he is by the old man's methods.

"Then wouldn't he be the number one ninja in the world?"

"It's a burly boy," he said in a simple and honest manner.

"Heh, who knows! There are still many unsolved mysteries in the ninja world!"

Snake said, thinking of that round-eyed big boss. Although Shanks had fought him in the Land of Rain, there wasn't any deep-seated hatred, and both sides had been quite restrained. However, he wasn't sure if his captain could outmatch that round-eyed big boss. Just the billions of explosive tags Konan created during that great battle had already given him a headache; only a famously tough guy like his captain could withstand it. An ordinary person would have been blown to smithereens long ago...

Moreover, it's a legendary Rinnegan, so it's impossible for it to be weak. Therefore, it can only be said that both sides were very restrained and did not create a big scene.

The thought of the Rinnegan made Snake feel a surge of excitement. He didn't care much about how powerful the Rinnegan was; what mattered to him was that he couldn't even begin to study the Rinnegan, which was only heard of in legends. That was his biggest regret. He had asked the big boss for some Rinnegan cells several times, but he had been refused each time.

Orochimaru was certain that the Rinnegan couldn't possibly belong to the Big Boss himself. His captain possessed the most elite bloodline of the Uzumaki clan, and after years of research, he understood the Uzumaki clan's genes better than the clan itself. While the captain's awakening of strange abilities might be considered a gift, the Rinnegan was absolutely impossible. Judging from the chakra energy emanating from the Rinnegan, it leaned towards the Uchiha clan's spiritual power, completely unrelated to the Uzumaki clan. Therefore, the more Orochimaru couldn't understand, the more he yearned for answers, wanting to figure out where the Rinnegan came from and who implanted it in Jiraiya's disciple. Orochimaru seemed to smell a conspiracy; perhaps Jiraiya's disciple was merely someone else's tool. Considering that someone would be willing to give away an eye of the Rinnegan's caliber, just how vast must this person's plan be?

569. Go find Kakashi for a drink.

Unaware that Orochimaru had boosted his reputation, Shanks didn't rush into action after returning to Konoha. Instead, he went home and looked at the small bottle containing only two or three drops of dark red liquid. He now had the tools, but he was still missing a plan. Forcibly binding Kakashi and forcing him to take the drug wouldn't work; a forced marriage might not be successful... If people knew that the famous Yonko Shanks had used such a despicable method as drugging someone, what would become of his reputation?

So this matter needs to be planned carefully. Finding solutions has never been Shanks' forte, but this matter cannot be known to anyone, so he can only bite the bullet and recall the tropes from the TV series he has watched before. However, it has been too long, and apart from a few tropes that left a deep impression, he has long forgotten the rest of the plot, which is a bit troublesome.

"You've been staring at this bottle of red medicine for hours. Are you planning to find a new purpose in life?"

As evening fell, Haruko came out of the kitchen carrying food and said to Shanks, "This guy who's never quiet for days on end suddenly sat still for hours. I thought he'd got his head stuck in a door, but... given how hard his head is... it's probably the door that's broken."

"You said... is there any way to make someone temporarily forget everything, or rather, to make them not remember what happened tonight when they wake up tomorrow morning, but without hurting them?"

Shanks stretched and asked listlessly, "I'm really not good at this. My butt is numb from sitting for so long and I still can't think of any good solutions."

"Hahaha! You've been sitting here thinking about this for hours? That's easy, just drink! You always forget what happened the day before after you get drunk."

Haruko pinched Shanks' old face. She found that her man was unusually cute, and he had a knack for tricking people. But he had been sitting quietly for hours over such a simple question.

"Snapped!"

"That's right! How come I didn't think of that! I, Haruko-sama, am so smart!"

Shanks slammed his hand on the table, stood up, gave Haruko-sama's impossibly beautiful face a hard kiss, and then ran out.

"Hey! I haven't eaten yet! Where are you going?"

Haruko-sama called out to him.

"I'm not eating anymore, I'm going to find Kakashi for a drink... I'm going... I'm going!!!"

When Shanks' voice came, he was already gone.

"Really, he's so old but still acts like a child."

Haruko sighed helplessly as she looked towards the deserted area.

.........

Drinking is a vast subject, involving a great deal of knowledge about things like who you drink with and to what extent.

Like Kakashi, he has always been very self-disciplined and rarely drinks alcohol. Even when he does drink, it's only a tiny bit. If he were to drink with a drunkard like Shanks, he would never drink more than two cups. "A thousand cups are not enough when drinking with a bosom friend," but Shanks is not his bosom friend. Drinking two cups is already a gesture of respect because Shanks is an elder.

Therefore, Shanks won't just stand there and go drink with Kakashi after he escapes; doing so would make his intentions too obvious and would alert Kakashi.

Thinking about Kadian's good friends in the village... it seems like he doesn't have any. They're all just casual acquaintances, and he doesn't even have much contact with his former classmates.

"What a damn jinx! He's lived in the village for over twenty years and he can't find a single friend of his."

Shanks thought for a long time but couldn't think of anyone who could make Kakashi drink so much. This time, his father was even more ruthless. At least his father had him as a best friend and Tsunade as a good friend, but Kakashi had none of those!

It's impossible for Obito to drink with him anymore. Asuma is barely considered half a friend, but Asuma is a bodyguard for the daimyo, and he's unlikely to drink with his love rival.

"Oh right! Green-skinned Kai is a good choice, and Mai Shiranui... ugh! Genma Shiranui is also an option. As for that sickly Hayate, forget it, what if he drinks himself to death and his dad wakes up in the middle of the night to come and settle the score with me..."

As Shanks walked along, he pondered who to call. Quality over quantity; those with a high alcohol tolerance were preferred, so he could get Cardinal to drink a few more cups.

"Ah Kai! Stop training, go back and take a shower, then notify Kagenma, Ebisu... and Hayate! Tell them to meet at the Konoha Hotel, I need to talk to you about something."

Shanks arrived near Greenskin Kai's house and heard a series of "bang, bang, bang!" sounds. Upon closer inspection, he saw Greenskin Kai was indeed using the wooden stake as a punching bag again, hitting it repeatedly with his hands and feet.

Shanks ultimately decided to include Hayate the Sick. He wasn't entirely sure about the young people's drinking capacity, as he'd only heard rumors. What if they couldn't beat Katarina? That would be troublesome. He had important things to do, and what if he got drunk too and all three drops of the potion went down? Although Orochimaru said three drops were within his tolerance, it was better to be safe than sorry; two drops would be enough.

"Understood! But Lord Shanks, what happened?"

Green-skinned Kai stopped, wiped his sweat, and asked curiously, "This old man never usually seeks out the younger generation."

"We'll talk about it later. I'll be waiting for you at the Konoha Hotel. Remember to hurry, this matter is very serious!"

To make Greenskin Guy understand the seriousness of the matter, Shanks said to him with a serious expression, "If we don't deal with Karthus, Lady Haruko won't be happy. If Lady Haruko is happy, then of course I, Shanks, one of the Four Emperors, won't be happy. How can this matter not be serious!"

"understand!"

Green-skinned Kai was startled by Shanks' serious expression and immediately ran back to his house to take a shower and change his clothes.

When Green-skinned Guy finished informing the last sick ghost, Hayate, and casually arrived at the Konoha Hotel, Ebisu and Genma were already at the door.

"Kay, what does Lord Shanks want with us? I'm really on duty tonight."

When Huo Xuanjian saw the green-skinned Kai arrive, he asked curiously. He had just finished eating and was about to go out to take over his shift when he was stopped by Kai as soon as he stepped out the door. Kai said that Lord Shanks had something important to discuss with him, which startled him. He quickly found someone to relieve him.

What rank is Lord Shanks? This legendary ninja is looking for him and says it's something important...

"Could it be that Lord Shanks has finally discovered my extraordinary talent and wants to take me to level up and steal some crystals?"

Genma Shiranui became more and more excited as he thought about it. Being the Hokage's bodyguard was great, but people always strive for higher positions. Who would want to be a subordinate when they could become a Double Flower Red Pole?

"I don't know. Lord Shanks told me to notify you to come here. He said he would tell us what it was about, but judging from his serious expression, I think it must be something important!"

Green-skinned Kai recalled Shanks' serious expression at the time and spoke to Genma Shiranui and the others with equal seriousness.

570. Because I have a good father

In a private room at the Konoha Hotel, four young people sat upright in front of Shanks, and Shanks was very satisfied with the effect.

"Well, as the backbone of the village, I'm very satisfied with your attitude in the face of this major event. Aren't you all curious about what happened? I can tell you now, it's a big deal! A very serious matter!"

Shanks glanced seriously at the four of them as he spoke, and seeing how serious they were listening to him, they straightened their backs even more.

"As their classmates and friends, I think you all know about Kakashi and Kurenai's situation, right? Yesterday, when Kurenai was injured, that brat Kakashi didn't have any gentlemanly manners at all and let Kurenai go to the hospital by herself. She happened to run into Haruko-sama, and Haruko-sama was very unhappy. Haruko-sama was unhappy, and I was unhappy too. So, whether it's me as his godfather or you as his classmates and friends, I think it's necessary to do something for them both. Do you understand?"

Shanks looked at the three bewildered people. Yes, just the three of them. Green-skinned Guy was simple-minded; even when Shanks told him something big was going to happen, he didn't overthink it. The other three were genuinely bewildered. On the way here, they had guessed many possible big events, but... none of them expected that this legendary big event was actually dealing with Kakashi and Kurenai.

What kind of big deal is this? Just because Kakashi has a good dad, his love life has become the most important thing, and they even have Konoha's Kurenai get involved! Two of the three of them are still single! Who's going to stand up for them?

"Ahem! Ahem! Lord Shanks, what do you think we should do about this? We've known Kakashi for so many years, and that's just how he is. We see it and it hurts us, but it's ultimately a matter between the two of them, and there's nothing we can do about it!"

Ebisu, who knew how to conduct himself best, immediately realized that since he had already been summoned, there was no way to back down. If he didn't want to be retaliated against in the future, it would be best to do whatever the big boss said. Maybe it would leave a good impression on the big boss.

"You're the best at this! I've already come up with a plan, but I need your cooperation. We'll find an excuse to invite Kakashi out for drinks later. You guys find a way to get him drunk, and then you take him to Kurenai. That will complete your mission. But afterwards, you all have to keep your mouths shut! Only the five of us can know about this. If Kakashi asks about it later, just say he was drunk and wouldn't let you take him home. Got it?"

Shanks originally wanted to join in, since he was the one treating everyone to the drinks, and it would be a huge loss if he didn't participate, given how expensive the Konoha hotels are!

However, after thinking about it again, it wouldn't be good if he participated as well. With Card's intelligence, he would immediately know there was a problem. So in the end, I decided to let these young people handle it. I can only hope they will do their best.

"But what reason do we need? Kakashi has never been a very sociable person. When our classmates invite him to a reunion, he only shows up twice out of ten times."

Genma Shiranui scratched his head, unable to think of any good solutions. Kakashi might not have the biggest background among the ninjas of their generation, after all, there was also the Second Hokage, Asuma, but he always had the biggest prestige. In the past, it was Asuma who invited Kakashi, and Kakashi only came because Asuma did. Now that the Second Hokage had become a monk and a bodyguard for the daimyo, they might not be able to persuade Kakashi to come.

.........

As soon as Genma Shiranui finished speaking, the five of them looked at each other, waiting for the other to come up with a solution. None of them seemed to have exceptionally sharp minds; Shanks himself probably had the most outlandish ideas among them.

"Cough! Cough!..."

"...Oh right, I remember now, Hayate, didn't your dad arrange a marriage for you before? Go find Kakashi later and tell him you're getting engaged and tonight is your last night as a bachelor. Ask him to go out for a drink. I asked Sakumo, and Kakashi doesn't have to work tonight, so there's no reason for him to refuse you."

Shanks was reminded by the consumptive's cough—wasn't this a ready-made excuse? This seemingly insignificant consumptive could actually be useful at crucial moments.

"Ahem, ahem!... But... Lord Shanks, I got engaged to Yugao last month, can Kakashi believe that?"

Moonlight Gale hesitated for a moment.

"Don't worry! Knowing Kakashi's personality, he's definitely forgotten about it by now, so you can't go wrong by going to find him."

Shanks confidently stated that someone as detached as Kakashi would completely forget about a classmate's engagement the very next day after giving the gift. That was perfectly normal; he was like that sometimes too. Last year, when his former lackey, Kamezaburo's, grandson was born, he thought Kamezaburo finally had a son...

"Kai, Ebisu, you two go with Hayate. That will be more convincing."

After Shanks finished speaking to Gai and Ebisu, he gave Genma Shiranui a look. As Minato's bodyguard, he was all too familiar with the looks from the big shots.