Konoha Drunkard

I'm such a good person.

Suddenly, Shanks felt himself being radiated with golden holy light from time to time.

If others didn't see it, it's because they're blind!

Shanks comforted Neji for a long time, and Neji's mood finally returned to normal. He then ran to the kitchen to help Haruko.

......

“Yesterday I had nothing to do so I went to the hospital to check on things, and I ran into Hong there. The child was injured again. Sigh! Since Zhen Hong passed away, this child has suffered. The whole family is relying on her alone.”

During breakfast, Haruko chatted with Shanks.

"Girl with colored contact lenses? Why do you say you're injured again? Does she get injured often?"

Shanks asked curiously. He really hadn't paid attention to village affairs for a long time. Apart from the Uchiha incident, which was quite serious, he was too lazy to inquire about anything else.

He felt a little ashamed that he hadn't paid attention to Kurenai Yuhi, who had been his friend for many years. But it was all Kakashi's fault. If that bastard had just married that girl earlier, none of this would have happened.

"I was frequently injured in the past two years, mainly because I was forced to learn advanced illusion techniques. It's been better in the last two years, but yesterday's injury was an external one. You know, Kakashi is like that. His fiancée was injured, but he didn't accompany her to the hospital. I heard from Sakumo that Kakashi doesn't care about personal matters during work hours."

Haruko said somewhat angrily, "Although Kakashi is the son of my friend Sakumo Hatake and my former assistant, and I watched him grow up, the older Kakashi gets, the less Haruko likes him. The main reason is that Kakashi is even less romantic than his father. Kurenai is his fiancée, after all, and he didn't even show any concern when she was injured. I really feel sorry for the deceased Kurenai, who ended up with such a prospective son-in-law."

Furthermore, Kakashi is even more of a jerk than his father; he's practically made of steel. His fiancée, the girl with the colored contacts, always initiates meetings or waits at his door. Otherwise, Kakashi never shows up, let alone goes shopping with her. It's utter nonsense. Yesterday, the girl with the colored contacts was injured. As the heir to the ANBU, Kakashi couldn't possibly have missed it, yet he used the excuse of not discussing personal matters during work hours to avoid accompanying her to the hospital.

"...You've known Sakumo for decades, don't you understand their family's character? I'm going to give Kakashi a good beating later, don't be angry. Look at you, you've got wrinkles, you're not pretty anymore."

Seeing that Haruko was showing signs of anger, Shanks quickly tried to comfort her.

566. If you have any problems, find Uncle Snake.

However, Shanks was having a headache over Kakashi's situation. Kakashi's head was incredibly hard; Shanks had lectured him countless times since he was a child. But the genes of the Hatake clan couldn't be changed. Before his father got married, at least he had Shanks as a good friend, which gradually changed some of his views on life and values.

Kakashi is different. His best friend has evolved into a major villain, so it's impossible for him to influence Kakashi's outlook on life. Sakumo was always busy, spending every day in the Anbu. Kakashi has been on his own since childhood and is used to being alone. Although Shanks helped him get a future wife, Kakashi didn't say anything. But Shanks knows that after being used to being alone for so long, it will be hard to adapt to having someone else in your life. Kakashi doesn't have a problem with contact lenses or arranged marriages; he's just resistant to having someone else in his life.

To put it bluntly, he's just used to being alone and doesn't want to change his current lifestyle. He talks more with his teammates in the dark unit than he learns to talk with the girl with the colored contact lenses in private. He can go on a date with the girl with the colored contact lenses for half a day without uttering a single word.

"Sigh! I should have never signed the contract with Shinku back then."

Shanks was starting to regret his decision. He had simply wanted to make sure that no one else benefited from the Sarutobi family's wealth, but now things had taken a turn for the worse. He didn't know whether Hiruzen Sarutobi would live or die, but now he didn't even care about Asuma's 30 million head. Kakuzu was now a pharmaceutical tycoon, making hundreds of thousands of dollars every minute. He didn't have the time to come to his good brother Shanks' territory and embarrass him. Kakuzu was the most loyal person.

It's truly unpredictable. If I had known things would turn out this way, with Kamen Rider being so stubborn, I would have just let things take their course and let Asuma have it. At least Asuma would be much happier now. Although Asuma isn't as outstanding as Kamen Rider, he was much more considerate before. If Asuma had known Kurenai was injured yesterday, he would have rushed over, unlike the emotionless Kamen Rider. His fiancée is injured, why is he even going to work? Does the heir to the Anbu even need to work? He should just wait for a promotion and a raise...

As Shanks thought about it, he felt guilty towards his old friend. Who the hell knew things would turn out this way, especially for Kakashi, who was a single guy in the anime. He originally thought that Kakashi was in single mode because of the deaths of Obito and Rin, but now he realized that Kakashi was single because of his hard work and talent, and it had nothing to do with anyone else.

After finishing breakfast, Shanks left Neji with Haruko and ran off alone. The sight of the old man beating up the young man was not something Neji, who was currently developing his worldview, could afford to witness. What if he was conquered by Neji's bravery and became determined to be a tough guy later? That wouldn't be fun.

The girl with the colored contact lenses is already engaged to Cardinal, and Shinku is no longer here. It's no use saying anything now. The only thing that can be changed now is Cardinal, who is used to being alone. I don't know if it will work, but let's beat him up first.

"If his father won't teach him, I will!"

Whether it's for Shinku, who's already passed away, or for his best friend who's waiting to retire and have grandchildren, Shanks feels he needs to do something.

Halfway there, Shanks suddenly realized that continuing to beat up Kakashi like this wasn't a solution. He'd beaten Kakashi countless times since they were kids; if he could change, he would have done so long ago. Old habits die hard, and if he couldn't change, beating him to a pulp wouldn't make a difference.

Close your eyes!

←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

If you're in trouble, find Uncle Snake! Uncle Snake's All-Around Shop is safe, reliable, and provides door-to-door service!

"Great scientist! Huh? Why are there so many kids?"

The next second, Shanks appeared in Orochimaru's research institute in the Land of Rain. He had just called out when he found a group of kids staring at him. If it weren't for the super luxurious decorations around him, he would have thought he had the wrong coordinates.

"Captain, you have so much free time to come over? Has the teacher finished her medicine?"

It's rare to see Snake not doing research; he's sitting on a leather sofa with a cup of tea in his hand—so damn gentlemanly.

Shanks rubbed his eyes, unable to believe that the person in front of him was the mad scientist Snake! The art style didn't match at all.

"Why are you not doing your research today? Why are you playing with the kids? Are they all your... children? I never would have guessed that this usually serious and serious mad scientist could be so carefree."

Shanks pointed to the dozen or so kids around him, the oldest being seven or eight and the youngest only three or four, and joked.

"Captain's joke is not funny at all. These kids are the result of my many years of work. Each of them has a bloodline limit."

When it comes to these kids, Orochimaru proudly introduces them. You know, there aren't many bloodline limits in the entire ninja world, and most of them are treasures in each village. Just like the Storm Release of Kumogakure. Although no one has mastered the Storm Release to its fullest extent yet, every generation of Raikage has attached great importance to the Kumogakure ninja who possess Storm Release. They either make them their bodyguard captains or let them lead the Anbu. In any case, their official rank is definitely not low.

Danzo has been hoarding orphans in the ninja world for many years under the guise of charity, but he hasn't found many bloodline limits. This shows how rare bloodline limits are. When Shanks went out to find Kawaka, Hiruzen Sarutobi was able to keep a close eye on the matter. It can be said that every bloodline limit has a high future achievement, at least starting as a red stick. If they have a cheat code, they might even be able to advance to double flower!

Snake has about ten of them, no wonder he's so proud.

"Huh? This guy is quite handsome, and those two dots above his forehead seem familiar. I feel like I've seen them somewhere before. And what's with his bloodline limit?"

Shanks carefully observed the dozen or so kids. One of them looked familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen him before.

"Hehe, Captain, you haven't forgotten the Kaguya clan from the Land of Water, have you? He's the only bloodline of the Kaguya clan I've been searching for for so long."

Snake reminded him that it was normal for Shanks not to remember. The Kaguya clan was wiped out after the Third War, and Shanks hadn't seen many members of the Kaguya clan. It was just that their appearance was too distinctive, and they were very similar to the mother of the Six Paths, both having two small dots directly above their eyebrows.

"Sigh! This great scientist is truly remarkable. He even managed to find the orphan of the Kaguya clan. If my brother Danzo had your abilities, he would be the leader of Konoha."

Shanks' words are laughable. Danzo's Root organization has so few people, yet they haven't achieved as much in all these years as Orochimaru has in just a few years. It seems that when it comes to people and things, there really is more people and more power. Culture is also important. Danzo and his henchmen are all illiterate and don't read books. They just blindly search all over the ninja world. How can they be as efficient as Orochimaru, an intellectual?

567. He's obviously very handsome too.

"Hehe, I did run into Root, our Danzo advisor, a few times. The captain hasn't said what it was about yet."

"Snake asked, 'You never visit someone's temple without a reason,' that's Shanks for you. Even when he helps Hiruzen Sarutobi buy medicine, he usually does it through his little white snake. The fact that he's come to see me personally today means it must be something important. I'm used to it, just like in the Akatsuki. Now, Kakuzu always comes to Snake before negotiating with someone, asking him to analyze the other party's bottom line. I'm practically their go-to guy."

It's good to have a smart person by your side. Just like now, whenever there's a difficult problem, Shanks immediately thinks of Snake. His son-in-law, Skyrocket, isn't out of the question either.

However... he used to think that although Skyrocket was a bit lazy, it didn't matter because he was smart. The Nara family was like that. But ever since Skyrocket brought his Yonko's mother into the wives' group, Shanks has grown to hate this son-in-law more and more. What's more, last time he even teamed up with Minato to rob his spoils, which made him hate him even more.

Do you want Shanks to beg him?

That's a dream!

"Actually, it's not a big deal. You know, Shinku and I had a pact back then, but unfortunately, I only have the fate of a father-in-law. However, Sakumo did manage to have Kakashi. But you know the Hatake family's temperament; they're all awful. Kakashi is even more so. I practically had to kidnap him to get engaged. Now Sakumo is getting impatient. The engagement has been going on for years, but Kakashi hasn't taken anything further. So, as a friend, I can only help him out. I just wanted to ask you if you have any products that can boost male hormones. I'm thinking of giving Kakashi one, but once it's done, it's best to go all the way, like Sakumo did back then. Once the child is born, there's no point in thinking about it anymore. What do you think? Isn't my method brilliant?"

Shanks said smugly. He had thought about this idea for a long time. The Hatake clan had many shortcomings, but they also had a very strong sense of responsibility. By the time Kakashi was pregnant, let's see if he would still dare to slack off. A scumbag can't survive in Konoha. Although Shinku's level wasn't as high as Sakumo's, Shinku was very popular in Konoha when he was alive. If Kakashi became a scumbag, the first person to kill him would probably be his father.

"...Hehe, the captain is still the captain, always coming up with such direct solutions. There are many ways to stimulate male hormones. The new drug I had the white snake bring you last time had the same effect, but it wasn't very noticeable. Given Kakashi's age, physical condition, and the fact that he's a ninja, it probably wouldn't have much effect on him. I just need to refine the new drug to increase its potency. But... Captain, you can't sell me out later. Being chased by Sakumo isn't a good life."

After hearing Shanks's method, Snake broke out in a cold sweat. Sure enough, none of the people who made a name for themselves were good people. He originally thought that Captain America, apart from being a bit crazy, was a decent gentleman. Now he realized how naive he was to have such a thought. Can someone who can come up with such a method be called a gentleman?

Moreover, if Sakumo knew that he and Shanks had betrayed his son like this, Shanks, being his best friend, might only complain a few times. But it would be different for him. He was still nominally a super rogue ninja of Konoha. If Sakumo used his position for personal gain and sought revenge for his son, he might come after him. Although he was confident in his ability to escape, the White Fang of Konoha was no pushover, and getting slashed once or twice would still hurt quite a bit.

Actually, Snake really wronged Shanks. Shanks didn't even need to think of this method. In his previous life, he had watched so many TV dramas, palace dramas, and family dramas. The trick of forcing someone to have sex was so common that it had been used to death. The people who actually used this trick had to be traced back to the Stone Age... Who knows who came up with it.

He just loves to brag. Anyway, he hasn't heard of anyone in the Naruto world using this move. He's the first person in the Naruto world to think of it, so it's only natural that he brags like this.

"Don't worry! I'm not the kind of person who talks big. When the Third Hokage asked me to help him investigate whether Jiraiya was his biological son, I never said anything about it... I swear on my integrity!"

Shanks patted his chest and assured him.

“…”

Seeing his expression, Snake knew that this was not a reliable plan, but he still got up and walked towards the laboratory to help him extract the essence of the new drug.

"Hey Kaguya clan member, I heard you guys grow bones, right? Show me! I've roamed the ninja world for so long and seen all sorts of bloodline limits, but I've never seen the Kaguya clan's Shikotsumyaku."

With Orochimaru absent, Shanks, feeling bored, decided to tease this handsome young man from the Kaguya clan to pass the time. Orochimaru not only had good taste but also excellent aesthetic sense; this young man from the Kaguya clan was truly handsome, especially the two small dots directly above the middle of his eyebrows that complemented his good looks. Shanks felt that Shiro was quite a match for him, but Shiro was the devilish type, and coupled with his gentle personality, he was very lethal.

This handsome young man from the Kaguya clan is similar to the second male lead; he looks cold and aloof, but he's much more handsome than the second male lead. Even if the second male lead has the Mary Sue aura that Kishimoto gave him, otherwise, if Konoha really made a ranking of the most handsome men in Konoha's history, the second male lead probably wouldn't even make the top ten.

The number one spot will absolutely surprise Naruto fans; it belongs to the ever-cold and gloomy Tobirama Senju.

People often forget what Tobirama Senju looked like because he was so talented that he didn't need to rely on his looks to make a living.

Most people who rely on their looks for a living have poor digestive systems; doctors have advised them to rely on others for support...

Next up are Minato, Sakumo, Shinku, and others. It's true that the second male lead's appearance leans towards his mother, Mikoto, but he also has a portion of his father's genes. However, his father can't be called handsome; at best, he's not bad-looking. His father's genes severely drag down the second male lead's overall appearance.

The reason why the second male lead is so popular in the village is because the Uchiha clan is a mysterious clan to many people, and they are also very powerful.

Secondly, that kind of quirky personality is incredibly popular with girls.

Thirdly, she's not bad-looking.

With such a powerful background, plus her good looks and charming personality, and then the added Mary Sue aura of Kishimoto...

Shanks was even a little jealous. Damn, he's handsome too, he just has a scar...

568. Snake Uncle helps grind reputation.

"Lord Orochimaru said that my control over it is not yet sufficient, and I cannot use my bloodline limit indiscriminately."

Lu Majun muttered to himself, wondering who this old man was. Someone whom his Lord Orochimaru called captain should be a powerful ninja, but... looking at his slovenly and unkempt appearance, huh-----and how long has it been since he trimmed his nose hairs... he doesn't look like a master at all.

"It's okay! Give me a performance, and if it's great, I'll introduce you to a girlfriend in ten years, how about that?"

Shanks raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a knowing look.

"........."

Lu Majun remained silent, her pants tucked in.

"One young master? Then two? Let me tell you, I know a lot of beautiful girls, of all kinds of bloodlines. What kind do you like?"

"........."

"Two isn't enough? Three! That's the most. We in Konoha practice monogamy now. I'm only introducing you to two because I have a lot of influence, and we'll have to see if you can withstand the test..."

"........."

"Come on, my biggest regret in life is that I've never seen a person with a body made of bones. I'm already so old, do you really want me to take this regret to my grave?"

"........."

No matter how much Shanks kept nagging, Lu Majun just kept his eyes closed and didn't care at all. Shanks had no effect on him whatsoever. The eyes of the other teenagers next to him, who were much less capable than him, started to light up when they heard about the two of them, but Lu Majun remained unmoved.

Lu Ma-kun VS Shanks!

Shanks is defeated!

"Kids these days are not cute at all!"

Seeing that the handsome young man remained unmoved no matter what he said, Shanks pouted and picked up the wine on the table to drink.

Today he'd met his match. His usual nagging tactics, which always worked, were completely ineffective against this little brat. He really had a tough character, having crawled out of piles of corpses since childhood.