Konoha Drunkard

The moment Obito ran away, the space behind Kisame, who was fighting and retreating while trying to figure out how to escape, distorted. A hand reached out from the distorted space and pulled Kisame in.

"Hanzo!!! You bastard!!"

Although Obito didn't show up, Danzo had already guessed who the hand belonged to after the familiar spatial fluctuations appeared. Who else in the ninja world could have such spatial abilities besides his long-lost brother?

Danzo was furious, his lungs practically bursting. He considered himself to have treated his brother fairly well, and their collaboration had been quite pleasant. But this bastard had actually teamed up with others to use his family as experience points—this was outrageous! He was even worse than Danzo himself…

"What Hanzo?... Huh? What are you all doing here? Brother Danzo, what happened to you? Who killed you?"

Danzo's roar jolted Shanks awake from his drunken stupor. Rubbing his throbbing head, Shanks looked around groggily. The sight of the Shimura clan and Root lying dead all around him reminded him of the events of the evening. But... looking at Danzo... so many of his own clansmen and henchmen had died; shouldn't he be heartbroken like someone who had lost their father? Instead, Danzo looked like someone who had been abandoned.

"...Damn bastard!"

Danzo glared at the sleepy-eyed Shanks, cursed, and turned to leave. He figured his Shimura clan would be dominating the headlines again tonight. The last time they were in the headlines was when they were tricked by the Third Raikage, decades ago. That time, the Third Raikage's betrayal was devastating, bringing the clan to its knees. Now, his own brother was using them as a stepping stone! Why was it always something bad that made his clan the headlines...?

And that bastard Shanks, of all times he had to get drunk, tonight of all times, it's unbelievable...

Danzo felt it necessary to visit the Uchiha clan's Naka Shrine tomorrow to offer his prayers; he'd really had a run of bad luck this year, and he'd heard the shrine was quite effective.

"...What's wrong with him? Did I do something to him?"

Shanks glanced at Kakashi with wide eyes. Kisame was the one who created the person; what did it have to do with him?

"...I think it's probably because you got drunk at the wrong time."

Kaden stroked his chin and guessed, "Who knows what's going on? He's not familiar with Danzo."

"...Does drinking alcohol have to be time-sensitive? What kind of logic is that..."

..........

"Breaking news! Breaking news! The mysterious and powerful Shimura Hanzo has teamed up with a rogue ninja from Kirigakure to storm Konoha, wreaking havoc within the Shimura clan, suspected of seeking revenge for the mysterious and powerful Shimura Hanzo!"

In Konoha, where paparazzi are as numerous as dogs, there are no secrets. Moreover, with such a big event as the Shimura clan incident, how could the paparazzi who were staking out the Sarutobi clan's gate at night miss such an opportunity when that dead bastard shouted?

Sure enough, the news of the Shimura clan's alleged disappearance spread throughout the ninja world the day after dawn. The two male protagonists of the incident naturally attracted the attention of various ninja villages, and their information was sent to the higher-ups of each village.

Kisame Hoshigaki, male, 23 years old, graduated from ninja at the age of ten, former member of the Kirigakure ANBU, obtained the Habami Greatsword from the previous owner of the Habami Greatsword by killing Suigetsu Fuguki. After the Fifth Mizukage took over, he defected from the village for some unknown reason and was identified as an A-rank rogue ninja by the Fifth Mizukage. Now he has been promoted to an S-rank rogue ninja by the Fifth Mizukage.

Photos of Kisame's shark-like face began to appear on the desks of the Kage of various villages. Because Kisame was a ninja from Kirigakure, the information about him was quite detailed.

Information on the other main character, Shimura Hanzo, is scarce. Even Onoki Red-Nosed, who traded with Shanks disguised as Shimura Hanzo, only knew of Shimura Hanzo's relationship with Danzo, the Root of Konoha, and his infamous battle with Shanks. He knew nothing else. Sending people to investigate only yielded scattered and useless information. Truly useful details, such as when he awakened his Sharingan and when he left Konoha, remained completely unknown.

However, even an idiot could figure out the relationship between the legendary Shimura Hanzo and Danzo, the Root of Konoha. Just by looking at their names, one is called Shimura Hanzo and the other Shimura Danzo, only one character different. If they didn't have the same father, how could it be such a coincidence? Moreover, there are rumors that they went to seek revenge. But Kisame Hoshigaki has absolutely no connection with the Shimura clan of Konoha. So it goes without saying that Shimura Hanzo must have a grudge against the Shimura clan.

As for what grudges existed, the ninja world is full of clever people who could easily fabricate a story about the hatred between Shimura Hanzo and the Shimura clan. Some say that Shimura Danzo stole Shimura Hanzo's sister, while others say that Shimura Danzo stole his father's love, and after his father's death, he used various means to force his younger brother out of the clan.

The story between Shimura Danzo and Shimura Hanzo has circulated in countless versions. Everyone is tireless in this kind of story where they can use their imagination to edit the content themselves. Even Shanks never expected that the character of Shimura Hanzo, which he initially fabricated out of dissatisfaction with his older brother Danzo's attitude, would become more and more fleshed out. Now, even his background story has been filled in by people's imaginations.

Just as everyone was imagining the story of Shimura Hanzo and Shimura Danzo, Obito, one of the main characters who bravely stormed Konoha, was very unhappy!

I'm extremely annoyed!

He was already annoyed that he had been beaten up by Tsunade for nothing, and he thought he could at least gain some reputation points this time. But after hearing the news that White Zetsu brought back, he was so angry that he almost completely demolished the underground entertainment center that Madara had left him to inherit.

It's that bastard Shimura Hanzo again. He went there for nothing again, risking being ganged up on by several powerful figures to raid Konoha, only to be beaten up by Tsunade, that violent woman, and almost didn't make it back. But he got wiped out by that bastard Shimura Hanzo! What kind of mess is this? Even Obito suspects Shimura Hanzo might already be dead. After all, White Zetsu clones are numerous; finding one person should be easy. But this Shimura Hanzo, whom White Zetsu has been searching for for so many years, hasn't left a trace. This is definitely not normal.

616. The vice principal's fist was unusually heavy.

He suspected that the damned Shimura Hanzo had actually died many years ago, shortly after his duel with the vice principal. The vice principal's punches were incredibly heavy. Even with the cells of Hashirama Senju transplanted into his body, he was still almost unable to withstand Tsunade's iron fist. How could Shimura Hanzo, who was of mixed blood and did not have Hashirama Senju's cells, withstand the vice principal's punches, which were even heavier than Tsunade's?

He wouldn't believe it even if you beat him to death!

The reason the people of Konoha mistook him for Shimura Hanzo is most likely because they were both wearing the same mask! That must be it!

"White Zetsu! Go and bring me all the masks in the ninja world, I need to change my mask!"

Obito thought about it more and more and it seemed very likely. Ever since his peerless beauty was gone, he had just picked up a mask at random. Now it seemed that the mask that Shimura Hanzo wore was also bought from that store!

........

"Brother Danzo, please don't look at me like that. We've already done the statistics, and not many people died. They're just seriously injured. They'll be back to full health in two or three years."

Inside the Hokage's office in Konoha, the village's high-ranking officials were having another meeting. However, from the moment Danzo entered the office until now, he had been staring at Shanks with a death stare, making Shanks wonder if something strange had happened to Danzo.

However, this wave of Kisame was really weak. Despite its powerful attacks, it didn't kill many people. Or perhaps these people were just too lucky to survive, and they miraculously survived with a sliver of blood. However, they were still badly injured by Kisame's greatsword and would need to stay in bed for two or three years to recover.

"Hmph! If you hadn't been drunk last night, my people wouldn't be in this state!"

Danzo felt increasingly heartbroken. This time, he owed Tsunade a huge amount of medical expenses. There were just too many people with severe injuries. Even the money from Shimura's gambling den wasn't enough. He couldn't possibly use the money from Root. Although Root was actually his personal property, it was nominally still the village's. If he dared to openly use Root's money to pay his clansmen, he guaranteed that his reputation for misusing public funds would spread throughout Konoha again the next day.

His reputation is already bad enough, and some bastard in the village has spread the word that he stole his brother Hanzo's sister and then didn't take responsibility for it. So Hanzo is here to get revenge on that girl.

There are so many versions of the ninja world now, but this version is the one most recognized by the villagers. Even the way his dream girl looks at him has changed today.

But if it weren't for Shanks back then, he wouldn't even know he had a half-brother. How could he have kicked him out of the family, let alone have a girl? He admits he's not a good person, but his feelings for his dream girl are as clear as day. How could he possibly fall for a girl he doesn't even know?

But he knew that no matter how he explained, it would be useless, and some rumors would only become more suspicious the more you explained them; only time could dilute them.

"Hey Danzo, that's not right of you. Everyone knows I'm a drunkard. I drink two or three bottles every now and then, and I've been drunk more than once or twice. Who would have known that your good brother would come over to drink last night? And he can't just come over and tell me he's coming to avenge his girl today and tell me not to drink, right? Besides, drinking isn't a ritual that requires choosing an auspicious day."

Normally, given Shanks' short temper, he would have slammed his fist on the table long ago. However, considering that Danzo really suffered a huge loss this time, he will tolerate him this time.

"....snort!"

Danzo, hearing Shanks's inappropriate remark, let out a cold snort, his face darkening further, and continued his Death Stare attack on Shanks.

"Alright, you two, say no more. This time, Shimura Hanzo and Kisame Hoshigaki caused such a scene in our village, severely damaging Konoha's reputation. This absolutely cannot be left unresolved."

When Koharu, who was turning over to the next room, saw Shanks and his friends arguing non-stop as soon as they came in, she interrupted them and said...

"What else can we do if we can't calculate it like that? That Shimura Hanzo may not be good at anything else, but he's top-notch when it comes to hiding. I told you about him decades ago. Brother Danzo has been searching for him for decades, and he still hasn't found a single hair of him. If we want to do something this time, we need to find him first. It's not an ordinary feat for someone to be able to hide for decades. Anyway, I can't figure out where he could be hiding. We only met him before because we were destined to meet."

Shanks shrugged, indicating he couldn't do anything about it, and everyone else fell into deep thought. Root might not be very good at fighting, but when it came to finding people and spying, they were far superior to the Anbu. Since Hatake Sakumo took over as head of the Anbu, due to his personality, he didn't value spying too much, focusing instead on fighting. Danzo, on the other hand, had followed Senju Tobirama for many years and was quite experienced in espionage. After decades of development, Hatake Sakumo's Anbu had become the Hokage's elite henchmen. With Hatake Sakumo, a super assassin, leading them, the Anbu was outstanding in terms of combat power.

Danzo's Root members, lacking in both knowledge and skills, could only imitate Tobirama Senju's espionage methods. Root members were good at overwhelming weaker opponents with sheer numbers, but in a direct confrontation, like last night, they were destined to be outmaneuvered. However, in espionage, Danzo's extensive network of agents ensured he had people all over the ninja world. He was not only skilled in intelligence gathering but also exceptional in finding people.

How could they possibly have any solutions when they've searched for decades and still couldn't find such a powerful root?

"Why would Shimura Hanzo cause trouble for the Shimura clan when he was perfectly fine? And what was the reason he left the village in the first place? What grudge did he have against the Shimura clan?"

Soy Sauce Guest Mitokado Homura, with a gossipy look on his face, wasn't actually gossiping. His beloved wife had been pestering him since early this morning to tell him the story of Shimura Hanzo and the Shimura clan. After all, there were all sorts of versions in the ninja world, and it was hard to know which was true. However, her husband was, after all, Danzo's comrade, so he should know something. But Mitokado Homura couldn't answer this question. Not only him, but even his two other comrades didn't know their story. Although Mitokado Homura saw no one was speaking, he casually asked the question. He figured that if he couldn't guess it alone, with so many people around, they should be able to figure it out.

617. Brother Danzo, remember to settle the bill.

As soon as Mitokado Homura finished speaking, everyone looked at Danzo with gossipy expressions. Among those present, Danzo himself was probably the one with the best chance of knowing about this matter, since he and Shimura Hanzo were born to the same father.

"Hmph! How would I know? I've never heard of this person before, and my father never mentioned him to me when he died."

Danzo, his face dark with anger, inwardly cursed his philandering father. "You had a child outside, fine," he thought, "but at least bring it home secretly! That way, I wouldn't have to worry about those two kaleidoscopes. Now look what you've done! You've had your fun, but the retribution is coming on to us, your descendants!" Thinking of his clansmen and younger brothers lying immobile in hospital beds, Danzo felt a pang of sadness. "Thank goodness I didn't tell Higan last night," he thought. "If Higan were also bedridden, how would I survive?"

"Could it be that Uncle Shimura did something back then that was beneath them, like starting a relationship and then abandoning them? You know, it's normal for members of a powerful family to sometimes let loose. Uncle Shimura might have been successful back then, so he occasionally let loose, but he eventually came to his senses and abandoned the widow and her child..."

Shanks felt it was time to showcase his creative abilities. While the versions of the Ninja World Chronicles were exciting, they weren't very realistic. Take Danzo and Hanzo vying for a girl, for example. With Danzo's appearance, what girl would be interested in him? Of course, he wasn't always this ugly, but back then there was the heartthrob Uchiha Kagami. If any girl had a choice, she would have chosen Uchiha Kagami... This version is unrealistic!

Another version claims that after their father's death, Danzo and Hanzo fought for leadership, with Danzo ultimately succeeding and ousting Hanzo. However, this is unrealistic and easily exposed. It's worth noting that Danzo was taken in as a disciple by Tobirama Senju at a young age. For the Second Hokage's disciple to be barred from inheriting the clan headship would be a slap in the face to Tobirama, who was known for holding grudges. Therefore, this version has too many flaws.

As for the love triangle between Hanzo, Danzo, and Hiruzen Sarutobi, where Hiruzen chose Danzo and Hanzo silently withdrew, and decades later Hanzo's power skyrocketed, so he returned to forcibly take Hiruzen... Shanks bet this story was absolutely made up by some girl with a slightly unhealthy mind. It's just too damn... amazing!

A small bouquet of flowers must be presented.

"Hmm, hmm... that seems to make some sense."

Hiruzen Sarutobi found Shanks' story reasonable. After becoming Hokage, Shanks had achieved considerable success in his career. Sometimes he would let loose and be himself, but he didn't have the same ruthless methods as his best friend's father, nor did he have Shanks' marksmanship.

"Damn it! My father isn't that kind of person!"

Before Shanks could even finish speaking, Danzo slammed his fist on the table. Although he also suspected Shanks's assessment was close to reality, he still needed to defend his father in front of outsiders. He could tolerate Shanks criticizing his own father, but what was with all of you? Did I even know you?

"...Let's discuss this later, Minato. Have Sakumo send out all the Anbu to find Shimura Hanzo and Kisame Hoshigaki. Even if you have to search the entire ninja world, find them for me. Konoha isn't a place you can just come and go as you please."

Hiruzen Sarutobi's long-dormant killing intent surged up. Damn it, Konoha had never been treated like a backyard in all these decades. This time, Obito really got him furious, and his decades of self-control were shattered by Obito's actions.

Speaking of Minato, being Hokage was quite frustrating, even though he seemed to enjoy it. Shanks, however, felt sorry for him. When Hiruzen Sarutobi first took office, Hashirama Senju and Tobirama Senju were both dead, his aunt Mito Uzumaki never interfered in village affairs, and later, those veterans who hadn't shown Hiruzen any respect retired due to old age. This meant that Hiruzen and his associates effectively gained absolute power within a few years of taking office. But Minato was different; when he became Hokage, Hiruzen and his three advisors were only around 50 years old. Most of them were under 60 years old, and the most important thing was that, apart from Danzo often jumping out to grab attention during the great battle, the other three rarely went to the battlefield. Moreover, Danzo was particularly good at causing trouble. Although he was made to look like a mummy, his life was like that of a cockroach. He was beaten by the Third Raikage countless times and was completely unharmed. Now that the Third Raikage is dead, he is still strong. He was beaten by the Fourth Raikage several times afterward and survived. There is a saying in Kumogakure that a Raikage who has not beaten Danzo cannot be called a qualified Raikage.

The other three giants are also in excellent health and eating well. If nothing unexpected happens, they could likely remain in power for decades to come. This means Minato has no chance to monopolize power. As long as Hiruzen Sarutobi is around, Minato is always a bystander, at most acting as a messenger. Like now, after Hiruzen Sarutobi finished speaking, Minato nodded to the ANBU in the shadows, instructing him to inform Sakumo Hatake. Only someone as good-natured as Minato could tolerate Hiruzen Sarutobi's power-grabbing behavior. If it were someone else, they would have already started fighting. You're a retired old man, you've been the main character for decades, isn't that enough? Now that you're retired, you still keep coming out to grab attention and viewership. What's the point?

"You guys can take your time to discuss it. Anyway, I don't think you have a good chance of finding Shimura Hanzo. No one in the ninja world can match his ability to play hide-and-seek. ...By the way, Danzo, Tsunade asked me to tell you to settle your medical bills as soon as possible. Otherwise, you know how easy it is for those nurses to give the wrong medicine if they don't get their bonuses."

"........."

Danzo had never felt so humiliated in his life. Even when he was defeated by two Raikages, he never backed down and always fought back. But this time, he really had to back down. He owed Tsunade, the gambling addict, her medical bills. When he wiped out the Uchiha clan, he had considered Fugaku's fortune, but he was so focused on collecting the three-tomoe Sharingan that he completely forgot about it. By the time he wanted to, it was too late; Shanks' name was already on the gate. Otherwise, would he, as the founder of Konoha, be short of money? Would he owe you such a small medical bill...?

Just kidding. How could Shanks let Danzo benefit from his precious disciple's property? Before his disciple could even act, Shanks had already made him put his name on the property. His disciple was the rightful heir, and as long as he didn't act, even the second male lead had no right to use the contents. However, Shanks took pity on the second male lead and opened a warehouse for him, enough for him to live a life of leisure. But if the second male lead also defected in the future, then Shanks couldn't blame him; the property of a rogue ninja would be confiscated.

618. They're all people with connections.

In Konoha Year 63, the area in front of the Ninja Academy was bustling with activity, as parents waited anxiously at the school gate.

"Kushina, don't be so nervous, Naruto will be fine."

Shizuka looked helplessly at Kushina, who was pacing back and forth at the school gate. Naruto was taking his graduation exam, but Kushina seemed even more nervous than him. As someone who had been through it, Shizuka had no choice but to comfort her.

"That's right, Aunt Kushina, it's just a graduation exam, you can pass it easily."

Garp, who was forced to graduate early by his teacher back then, thought it was just a small exam, a piece of cake. His younger sister was also taking the exam, but he wasn't worried at all. To ensure his precious sister could graduate smoothly, he had cornered all the teachers for this exam last night. It wasn't because his sister wasn't good enough, but because the subject was just too ridiculous. The graduation exam was actually testing the most basic Three-Body Technique? This was utter nonsense. Not to mention his sister Karin, no one in his family since his great-uncle's generation had ever learned this kind of low-level Three-Body Technique. Anyway, he didn't know it either, but he still managed to become a Double Flower Red Staff.

In Garp's opinion, these teachers are full of shit. They graduate from the school and become ninjas. Do they expect to make a living by relying on the Three Body Techniques?

Anyway, last night he beat up Iruka, Karin's former homeroom teacher's son, right in front of his dad. The message was clear: if you don't let my sister pass, I'll beat you up in front of your dad every day. That's how domineering the Konoha bully is.

"It's all because Naruto is such a troublemaker and I can't trust him! If I fail this test, I'll be so embarrassed."

Kushina clenched her fist and waved it a few times in the air. There were so many paparazzi in the village. And Naruto was Minato's son. If the son of the famous Yellow Flash couldn't even pass the most rubbish Three Body Technique, then he would be utterly disgraced.

"And another thing! That bastard set the exam questions, and the graduation exam actually tested such a useless ninjutsu as the Three Body Technique. If I find out who it was, I'll beat the crap out of him!"

Kushina's temper flared up again. She knew her son's abilities better than anyone. If the test was a one-on-one duel like before, her son would definitely pass without any problem. But this year, she didn't know who had taken the wrong medicine and decided to test him on this useless Three Body Technique. Her son's ninjutsu talent was already weak. He had spent more than a month learning the Shadow Clone Technique back then. If he had forgotten it all, what would be the point of watching?

........

"Iruka-sensei, what happened to your face?"

Inside the school, Iruka, who was known as the future savior and mentor, walked into the teacher's office with a bruised and swollen face. Mizuki, who was on good terms with him, asked curiously.

"Haha, no...it's nothing. I slipped and fell last night when I went to the bathroom without turning on the light."

Iruka forced a smile and said that last night was a nightmare for him. He was brutally beaten up by his father's students in front of his father, and his father actually pretended not to see it and continued drinking. This was inhuman! He should go to the hospital to check if he was really his father. His father, whom he idolized, actually let him get preferential treatment for those students. It was outrageous!

"Huh? Mr. Mizuki, what happened to your hand? It was fine yesterday."

As soon as Iruka finished speaking, he noticed that his friend Mizuki still had a folded bandage hanging around his neck.