Konoha Drunkard

612. Swipe! Swipe hard! (Happy New Year!)

Moreover, Obito had already planned it out. The place he was going to raid couldn't be too strong, but it also couldn't be too low-profile. So, choosing a medium-sized clan was the most suitable. And the speed had to be fast. He had to leave immediately after raiding, without dragging things out. After Obito's analysis, there were two clans in Konoha that fit these two criteria. One was the Sarutobi clan, the main clan of the Third Hokage. Because they had produced a clan known as the most talkative Hokage in history, their fame was huge. Moreover, they were tricked by Danzo during the Second Hokage War, and their strength declined rapidly. They also didn't have any particularly strong characters.

Another one is Danzo's Shimura clan, with whom he has a cooperative relationship. Just thinking about the Shimura clan makes Obito's teeth itch with hatred. All the fame he's built up over the years has been attributed to that bastard Shimura Hanzo! How can he not hate him! White Zetsu is also useless; with so many clones, they can't even find a single one.

So Obito plans to first take down the Shimura clan, and leave the Sarutobi clan for later when he needs them!

Actually, his best friend's Hatake clan is pretty good too, but... thinking about it, forget it. Wouldn't that just be letting his best friend get together with his World Rin? What if he complains about him to World Rin later...?

"They actually came!"

Just as Obito and his companion were about to enter the border of the Land of Fire, Shanks sensed them with his Observation Haki. He was about to go over and chat with them about everyday life when their conversation made him stop.

And this Obito guy is pretty shrewd; he actually uses Konoha as a place to grind reputation, which is way more impressive than Shanks, one of the Four Emperors. At least Shanks has never actually done that on his own turf.

Shanks stroked his chin, deciding to hold off on chatting with Obito for now and linger at a distance behind them to see which club they wanted to gank.

"But these two...it seems like they can't possibly swipe at any particular store..."

It's not that Shanks looks down on them. Although Obito's Kamui dimension has some minor bugs, Konoha is a place with the most double-flower red sticks in the entire ninja world. Even excluding the six circle eyes of the Akatsuki, they don't have as many as Konoha.

With just these two points, they dare to come to Konoha to make a name for themselves. Who has the courage to do this? If they're going to target lesser-known clans, they might as well target other villages. But targeting well-known clans is bound to get them discovered eventually. Even if Obito has spatial abilities, he'll be badly beaten. Tsunade's sixth sense is a natural counter to Obito.

........

A few days later,

Obito skillfully led his underlings, weaving left and right, to clear the outer perimeter of the ANBU guards. His practiced ease suggested it wasn't something acquired in a day or two. Shanks suspected his loyal Danzo had betrayed him again. Only the Leaf Village's top figures, Minato, and the ANBU commander, Sakumo Hatake, knew the ANBU's outpost locations; even Shanks didn't know. It's no surprise that Danzo was the likely traitor among them.

After arriving in Konoha, the two did not immediately take action, but instead found a place to hide. From this, it can be seen that Obito was quite shrewd, embodying the essence of cunning and stealthy tower-stealing.

At 3 AM, Obito and Kisame dressed up carefully. Kisame was the main attacker tonight, while Obito was merely his support, or even less; his task was simply to help Kisame escape at the last minute. Kisame would be the only one going to fight the Shimura clan tonight.

To ensure the fame would be attributed to him, Kisame didn't even bother to hide his shark-like face. Instead, he changed into a brightly colored, slightly flamboyant outfit, hoping to make himself more memorable. Kisame had clearly put in a lot of effort.

"Huh? Is this... preparing to raid the Shimura family's place?"

Shanks followed the two of them the whole time. Since the Sarutobi clan and the Shimura clan were neighbors, Shanks initially thought that Obito was planning to take down the Sarutobi clan. After all, the Sarutobi clan had produced a Hokage, so they were quite famous. Moreover, they had been tricked by Danzo's strength and had indeed declined. However, Shanks couldn't let them take down the Sarutobi clan. His students and homeroom teacher were all in the Sarutobi clan, and he was a very sentimental person.

Just as they were about to make their move, they noticed that Kisame had watched the two of them at the entrance of the Sarutobi clan's compound before turning a corner and heading towards the Shimura clan's compound.

This left Shanks with no reason to take action. The Shimura family, after all! Over the years, thanks to Danzo's protection, the Shimura family had made a fortune in the village, plundering countless amounts of the people's wealth. Although they weren't as arrogant and domineering as the Uchiha, the Shimura family's black-hearted gambling dens were well-known. So when Shanks saw Kisame turn to the Shimura clan, he not only didn't stop him, but even wanted to cheer him on.

"brush!"

"Give it your all, don't hold back!"

Shanks found a comfortable spot to sit down, took out a bottle of sake from the Land of Rain that his beloved disciple had given him, and enjoyed the action movie while sipping his sake.

At three o'clock in the morning, when most people are sound asleep, and because it's Konoha, vigilance is practically nonexistent. No one in the ninja world dares to come to Konoha to cause trouble, so some rooms in the Shimura clan don't even close their doors at night, which makes things easy for Kisame.

Don't let Kisame's burly build and Samehada sword fool you; he might look like a human tank, but he's surprisingly fast. After taking down a significant portion of the Shimura clan, he did it without making a sound. The Shimura clan members went to report to Rokudo in their sleep. However, Kisame's luck didn't seem to be great tonight. Just as he finished off the people in one house and was about to move on to another, a Shimura clan member got up to relieve himself. Perhaps the toilet was too far away and he couldn't hold it in for long, so he relieved himself right next to a pillar outside the house.

He'd only peed halfway when he saw a bloodstained shark face, which terrified him so much that he stopped urinating. "What kind of person looks so terrifying?!" he thought. He wondered if he was still half asleep and having a nightmare. But the sharp pain in his chest brought him back to reality. The Shimura clan members were tough; with only a drop of blood left, they let out a deafening roar.

"There's a ghost!!!!"

This high-pitched tenor voice not only woke up the sleeping Shimura clan members, but also their neighbors, the Sarutobi clan, who were wide awake.

"Which bastard is yelling and shouting in the middle of the night instead of sleeping?! Does he want to die?!"

"What the hell are you yelling about in the middle of the night! Damn it!"

"......."

613. Kakashi vs. Shark Face (Happy New Year)

"Enemies! Get up! Jian Er is dead... Ah!"

Another tenor emerged from the jeers, drowning out all the other voices, but his voice was cut short by screams before he could finish speaking.

"Holy crap! Which bastard dared to come and kill people from our Shimura clan? Everyone grab your weapons! One of you go and inform Lord Danzo!"

"Quick! He's in Jian Er's room!"

Upon hearing the screams of their own people, the Shimura clan was instantly enraged. Men, women, young and old, those with weapons grabbed them, and those without went to the kitchen to get cleavers. Although the Shimura clan had declined, this was still their territory. How dare someone be so bold as to come and kill people? This was a slap in their face!

Kisame was also imposing, just standing outside that scoundrel's house with his giant sword, Hashira, only missing a cigarette to be his legendary counterpart.

Knowing that the Shimura clan had all woken up, he wasn't in a hurry. They were all here to make a name for themselves, so the bigger the commotion, the better. He had immense confidence in his leader's abilities; space-time ninjutsu was rare, and this clan was practically the only ones in the ninja world capable of carrying people.

When the Shimura clansmen arrived outside Kenji's house, they first saw the corpses of two clansmen. Next to them stood a terrifying giant with bloodstains on his body, carrying a strange large sword. No wonder Kenji saw a ghost; this appearance wouldn't even need special effects in a horror movie.

"Go! Kill this bastard!"

"kill!"

.......

In an instant, the Shimura clan was in turmoil, with constant sounds of battle. However, all that remained for the Shimura clan members was courage. Years of luxurious and corrupt living had reduced their strength to that of a lowly soldier. Even those with some talent could only defeat elite monsters. Moreover, when facing a map-clearing hero like Kisame, they were destined to be defeated.

Kisame is so powerful that he can hold off thousands of enemies. He doesn't even need to use skills; a single basic attack can take down a whole group. It's addictive to grind him. Occasionally, he can show off some fancy moves, such as throwing the Hadasame Greatsword like a javelin to smash a group of people, and then using his connection with the Hadasame Greatsword to make it fly back to his hand, smashing another group of people in the process.

This ability to clear out mobs is comparable to that of Nawaki, who possesses the Three Sacred Treasures, and is even more powerful than Nawaki. After all, Kisame is simply too big, and the Habami Greatsword is also enormous. Most importantly, the Habami Greatsword is not for slashing, but for smashing. One swing can take down a whole group, making its mob-clearing speed incredibly fast.

"Stop! Habami Sword! You are Kisame, the rogue ninja from Kirigakure!"

While Kisame was wreaking havoc, the Anbu arrived, led by Kakashi, who had already revealed one of his Sharingan eyes. Seeing Kisame wielding the Habami sword, Kakashi's expression turned serious. Tonight, he had met his nemesis. Kakashi hated nothing more than encountering giants like Kisame, who possessed incredible stamina and excelled at prolonged battles, especially one wielding the Habami sword. Ninjutsu was meaningless to him, and as for taijutsu, the two were probably only about equal in strength. His family's swordsmanship was fine for cutting vegetables, but going head-to-head with Kisame would be a different story.

"Hehe! The Konoha technician who copied Kakashi, finally brought something decent!"

Kisame, wielding a large sword, grinned menacingly at Kakashi. His appearance, coupled with the remaining bloodline limit on his face, truly made him look like a demon. Even the Anbu behind Kakashi felt a chill run down their spines. What kind of parents could have given birth to such a bizarre creature...?

"asshole!"

Kakashi cursed under his breath and rushed towards Kisame. If he hated being called Konoha Technician, it wouldn't have been a problem. But ever since that annoying old man tricked him into making Kurenai pregnant, Shanks had completely ruined his reputation as Konoha Technician. Nobody in Konoha dared to call him that now. And now this bastard Kisame called him that the moment they met. What did that mean?!

"Clang!..."

Shanks finally perked up. Although Kisame's clearing out of the minions was exciting and the scene was impressive, Shanks had been drowsy watching it, especially after drinking some alcohol, which made him even less energetic.

Knowing that Kakashi was fighting Kisame, he perked up again. One of them was Konoha's White Fang. Although he did not inherit the swordsmanship of the Hatake clan, his strength was top-notch. Otherwise, he would not have earned the titles of Copy Ninja and Konoha Technician.

The other Kisame isn't very famous yet, but Shanks knows how strong this ugly guy is. The tailless tailed beast is no exaggeration, and with the Habami Sword that makes him immune to ninjutsu, he's practically cheating. Ninjas facing him can't really use ninjutsu; they can only use taijutsu. But while the opponent can't use ninjutsu, Kisame can! He shows off all sorts of water-style techniques, making Kakashi's scalp tingle. Kakashi feels like he's fighting that old man Shanks.

This guy has way too much chakra! And when his ninjutsu hit the Hashira Greatsword, it was completely swallowed up by the sword. How the hell is he supposed to fight?

Fortunately, although Kakashi didn't inherit his father's swordsmanship, he still had a lot of points in agility, and he was able to dodge Kisame's attacks every time. The two of them just went back and forth like this, neither of them able to get a hand on the other. The surrounding Anbu members just looked at each other, unable to intervene in this level of confrontation.

Despite all the lengthy explanations, the two only exchanged blows for a few minutes. However, in those few minutes, Kaka once again proved his reputation as a "soft man," and rightly so!

After a few minutes of exchanging ninjutsu and taijutsu, Kakashi started sweating profusely again; the Sharingan was becoming too much of a burden for him.

"Bastard! I'm going to kill you!"

Just as Kaden's legs were starting to give way, Danzo arrived with his underlings. Upon arriving at the clan, Danzo saw so many of his clansmen dead—all his relatives, nieces and nephews. Even an iron man would shed tears, let alone Danzo, a devoted and single-minded man.

Danzo, with tears in his eyes and filled with rage, waved his hand. Fair competition was out of his mind; all he could think about now was killing the ugly monster in front of him who had slaughtered his people.

Danzo's Root didn't have many elite generals, but their strength far surpassed that of the Shimura clan. Most importantly, they had all been trained by Danzo to be devoid of emotion, and they charged at Kisame recklessly. Kisame, who had just fought with Kakashi, was not afraid of the Root members charging at him and simply picked up his sword, Kisame-sama, and went all out.

"Where's that bastard Shanks?! Where's the Hokage? Where the hell are they?"

Watching his subordinates, whom he had trained for many years, being knocked down one by one by this ugly monster, Danzo clenched his fists and gritted his teeth as he asked Kakashi. His clan had been humiliated to this extent, and those guys had no reason not to know. But he had already come, so it was impossible for Minato, who had a full agility build, not to have arrived by now.

614. The Sixth Sense (Happy New Year)

"It wasn't just Kisame who broke into the village. The Hokage is being held up, and Shanks... we don't know where he is..."

Kadian replied, panting slightly.

Minato's side is indeed tied up. When Kisame escalated the situation, Obito knew that the difficulty of this wave had increased. Since things have already gotten this big, why not make it even bigger! The most troublesome person in Konoha is not Shanks or White Fang, but his former teacher who has a full agility build. As long as Minato comes, his underlings will not be able to gain any reputation.

So Obito's first priority was to stall his former teacher, preventing him from entering the arena. After that, his subordinate's fate was up to fate. As long as Shanks and White Fang didn't appear, his subordinate could hold his own against Tsunade, since Tsunade's monstrous strength was still ninjutsu and wouldn't be very effective against him. On the contrary, Tsunade's sixth sense was what terrified Obito more; having been beaten up several times, the mere thought of it gave him a headache.

"That bastard, he always messes things up at crucial moments! Go find that bastard!"

Danzo watched as his underlings were taken down one by one, and then gave orders to the Anbu behind Kagami.

......

"Lord Danzo, we've found Lord Shanks, but... Lord Shanks... is drunk and asleep on the Hokage Rock..."

Not long after, the two secret agents returned, one of them carrying a completely drunkard on his back.

"........."

Danzo covered his forehead and looked up at the sky. This bastard's drunkenness was really timely. His clansmen and underlings were being forcibly taken advantage of, while this bastard was having a dream. Looking at Shanks, who was muttering some nonsense in his sleep, Danzo really wanted to activate his Sharingan to its full potential and give this bastard a Great Dream Jutsu so that he would never wake up.

Shanks was truly exasperated. When Danzo appeared and Shanks discovered Minato and Obito using teleportation on the other side, he knew Danzo had definitely come to him. Their friendship was so deep; Danzo couldn't command Sakumo, and with the Hokage fighting, Sakumo had to stand by and cheer. He had no time to deal with the Shimura clan; Mars was more important than ten Shimura clan members. He couldn't command Tsunade either, and as for Uchiha Shisui… if he went to ask his dream girl for help… what face would he have left?

So Shanks immediately ran to the Hokage Rock, grabbed several bottles of strong liquor that he didn't usually enjoy, and started chugging them down. However, he underestimated his alcohol tolerance; he fell asleep on Tobirama Senju's head right after finishing one bottle.

He wasn't worried about the village, since Shisui, a master of illusion, was there. Even if Obito summoned the Nine-Tails, Shisui would still control it. Shisui's skill in illusion was far superior to Obito's.

Kisame noticed what was happening here. When the Anbu carried Shanks over, he heard that Habami-sama was trembling uncontrollably. He knew that a big shot had appeared. There were only a few people in the entire ninja world who could make Habami's sword tremble so violently, and there just happened to be one in Konoha. When Kisame saw a Konoha Anbu carrying a red-haired, drunken old man on his back, his mood instantly soured. No wonder Habami was trembling so badly, the red-haired demon had arrived!

Kisame, who grew up in Kirigakure, knew Shanks intimately. He couldn't even remember how many times he spat or urinated on the painting at the school gate. He was the one who captured the previous Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist, and afterwards, something happened that drastically changed their personalities upon returning to the village—but it was definitely related to this red-haired demon.

However, seeing him slumped on the back of the ANBU member and smelling the alcohol in the air, this red-haired demon was probably drunk. But a man's reputation precedes him, and Kisame was already planning how to escape. He had already farmed enough reputation; he had almost wiped out the Shimura clan and the people Danzo brought. He knew when to stop; greed never ends well. If this red-haired demon woke up, he wouldn't be able to escape even if he wanted to. It wasn't that he looked down on his boss.

No one in the ninja world has the ability to cut down a tailed beast and then split the village in two like the Red-Haired Demon. He practiced ninjutsu by swimming in that river since he was a child, and he knows better than anyone how powerful that slash was.

While entangled with Danzo's henchmen, Kisame was also thinking about his escape plan. Danzo's henchmen were good at swindling and deceiving, but they were far from capable of fighting a real battle. Only Aburame Torune was passable, at least he could hold Kisame off for a round or two. However, the insects on his body were no longer usable. The insects had started to become unruly when facing Kisame from the beginning, and now that Shanks had been carried over, the insects inside his body were all cowering and refusing to come out.

He's a sorcerer, after all! He's using his physical skills to fight this ugly tough guy head-on. He's hoping to survive a few more years! But in order not to lose favor with the boss, Aburame Torune keeps hitting Kisame in the crowd. Although it's not very effective, it looks quite heroic.

Kisame was busy figuring out how to escape and didn't bother with Aburame Torune's harmless attacks. However, Danzo had quite a few underlings, who kept charging at him relentlessly. Since he wasn't good at speed and there was no river nearby, he was blocked no matter where he ran. The chakra fluctuations coming from afar also told Kisame that the reason he could stay here for so long was probably because his boss was helping him intercept the pursuers.

Obito was indeed helping him intercept the pursuers, and this time Obito made a huge sacrifice for his younger brother. He was having a great time playing with his former teacher's teleportation when the person he feared most appeared: the expert with the sixth sense of God. Obito, who was not worried about Konoha's White Fang and a large group of Anbu, was now panicking. This violent woman was really too much of a counter to him.

Even though Konoha's White Fang discovered the weakness of his spatial abilities, his lack of stamina prevented him from attacking. His former teacher, though he didn't know why his chakra had increased so much, was no longer the same as he had been a few years ago and could fight back to a standstill. Although he would occasionally take a hit, his resilience was outstanding because he had transplanted Hashirama Senju's cells.

But when Tsunade, that violent woman, came along, he was in trouble. Tsunade's divine sixth sense could always predict the weaknesses that would appear when he used his spatial abilities, and she could always deliver a precise punch.

After being punched several times in a row, even with the transplanted Hashirama Senju cells, he was starting to feel the strain. This woman kept hitting his head, as if she had a grudge against his handsome face!

615. Making it to the front page never means anything good.

On the battlefield, Obito shook his head, which was still a little dizzy from being punched. This couldn't go on. He was already struggling to hold on to Minato and Tsunade, that violent woman, and with Konoha's White Fang lurking around, he was sure to be caught off guard. If he didn't run away soon, he'd probably become another tragic figure who died before accomplishing his grand ambitions.

Obito retreated rapidly, getting away from Tsunade, that violent woman. He then activated his space-time ability and hid inside Minato's space the instant Minato appeared behind him. The outside world was far too dangerous!