Konoha Drunkard

"Lord Hokage, something terrible has happened! Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha have been spotted. Lord Danzo has already led his men there, but..."

Actually, there was no need for Kakashi and the others to report. With Danzo's massive entourage and Itachi's various female fans' actions, how could the Anbu not know? One of the more astute Anbu members seized the opportunity to go to the Hokage Building and tattle.

"But what?"

Upon hearing that Itachi and Kisame had appeared in the village, Minato immediately tensed up. Orochimaru had already relayed the Akatsuki's objective through Shanks: their entire family were Nine-Tails Jinchuriki. While he and Kushina were fine, possessing formidable strength, his idiotic son was a different story. What if he were discovered? Although there were two super spies within the Akatsuki, he truly didn't want his son to be exposed. Therefore, upon hearing the news of Kisame and Itachi, Minato immediately stood up from his seat.

"However... with Itachi surrounded by a group of girls, Lord Danzo didn't dare to make a move, so..."

The ANBU whistleblower didn't know how to describe the scene. It was the first time in his life he had encountered such a situation. Every rogue ninja was like a rat in the street, hated by everyone, even if this person was famous.

But what he saw and heard today truly opened his eyes. This Uchiha Itachi was a rogue ninja from Konoha, yet he returned to his village like a superstar on an incognito visit, with girls of all kinds appearing one after another. Why hadn't he seen so many girls in the village before? The most terrifying thing was that even Danzo's henchmen didn't dare to make a move. This really refreshed his worldview. It turns out that being handsome really does allow you to do whatever you want.

"......"

After listening to the Anbu's words, Minato sat down again speechlessly. His teacher was right; times had really changed. Female fans these days were just too crazy. In his time, such a situation would never have happened. Back then, at most, only one or two girls with more outgoing personalities had written him a few letters, but in the end, Kushina broke their legs.

Looking at the current situation, even if he, as Hokage, were to intervene, it probably wouldn't make a difference. Although he believes his charm is as strong as ever, if Kushina were to find out...

"Notify Danzo to send him back. I will give him an explanation next time and send Kisame to him."

Minato thought for a while, rubbing his throbbing temples, and said to the Anbu, "This is the only way we can do it. After all, Danzo is a veteran of three reigns and an elder. We have to give Danzo a way out, otherwise he will really lose face today and have to order those girls to be killed in front of everyone."

Even if you lent him a water tank as courage, he wouldn't dare. As a junior, he could only offer him a way out, so he wouldn't lose face. After all, he went there so aggressively, only to return like a dog—wouldn't that make him a laughingstock?

"The power of fans is terrifying!!"

The man next to him, nicknamed "Big Skyrocket," sighed. "If this father-in-law's precious disciple really is a traitorous ninja, then they're in real trouble. Even killing him would be risky if they didn't consider the vengeful wrath of these female fans in the ninja world."

.......

"Itachi... what do we do now?!"

Kisame finally managed to squeeze to Itachi's side in the crowd and shouted at the top of his lungs. He had no choice but to shout; there were just too many people, and if he spoke softly, no one could hear him at all.

"Let's retreat first..."

Having finally managed to dodge a girl's attempt to hold his hand, Itachi, his face covered in lipstick marks, said helplessly, "In this situation, let alone coming to see my little brother, I'm not even sure if I can keep my clothes on if this continues."

The girls in Konoha are too crazy! How come he never noticed before? In other villages, even if the girls noticed him, they would only ask for his autograph, and if they were bold enough to try to kiss him, he could usually dodge them. But the situation here is different. There are too many people for him to avoid. Unless he uses ninjutsu to blast these girls away, he can't bring himself to do it. These are just ordinary civilian girls, powerless to even kill a chicken. He can't bring himself to do it. What's the point of gathering information at this point? If he waits any longer, he might even lose his virginity.

"Lord Danzo, the Hokage said that he would like you to go back first this time, and he will give you an explanation next time and bring Kisame to you."

Danzo stared intently at the group of girls surrounded by Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi, some of whom were his clansmen. This made Danzo's heart bleed.

You guys just need to surround Itachi Uchiha, at least leave Kisame Hoshigaki out for me...

"Let's go..."

"It would be stupid not to take the opportunity now that I've been given one," Danzo thought, glaring at Kisame and Itachi. This time, he even hated Itachi. "It's the Uchiha again! Uchiha Kagami was like this back then, and now Uchiha Itachi is the same way. Are all the girls in Konoha blind? He's so outstanding..."

694. He's going to be an enemy of the world!

"That's terrifying..."

Danzo and his henchmen slipped away, Itachi and Kisame also disappeared, and the female fans left reluctantly. Naruto, who was in the crowd, finally came to his senses and recalled Itachi's experience. He finally understood why Shikamaru said that women were tigers. They were terrifying, even more terrifying than his demon mother.

However, Naruto was filled with envy, jealousy, and resentment. He so wished he had been the one who had been groped by the girl earlier. He promised he wouldn't have been as evasive as Sasuke's brother; that would have been so wrong, how could he let down the fans' enthusiasm?

"Didn't your comrade want to kill Uchiha Itachi? I think it'll be difficult!"

Jiraiya patted Naruto on the shoulder and sighed. Having been out in the world for so long, he naturally knew about Itachi Uchiha's popularity, but he still didn't expect him to be this popular. Moreover, his female fans were so crazy. Putting aside the comparison of their strength, if Sasuke Uchiha really killed Itachi Uchiha, he probably wouldn't be able to survive in the ninja world. He would be going against the world.

"I think so too..."

Naruto nodded in deep agreement. Anyone with eyes could see the force those girls had displayed. If that disabled gang leader had actually fought back, it was hard to say who would have won. He figured all the older women in Konoha would have been there.

...........

"Granddaughter-in-law, this is a classic Konoha snack made with the finest ingredients unique to Konoha, simmered over a low flame for forty-nine hours. It's something only Konoha has. It not only nourishes yin and replenishes qi, but also beautifies the complexion. Haven't tried it before? Shikamaru specially learned this from his mother. He saw you looked so haggard these past few days, so he made it especially for you. Hey! You big-faced brat, if you reach your hands any closer, I'll chop them off. Even Aunt Chiyo couldn't protect you. This is for your older sister, made by your future brother-in-law. You're so ugly, it won't do you any good. Sigh! My grandson is exhausted from making all this and traveling all this time."

At Rasa's house in Sunagakure, Shanks placed a plate of food with a rather appealing color, which he couldn't quite name, on the table. He swatted away Kankuro's paw, who was only playing with dolls, and said to the girl with the large fan, "Actually, I'm quite helpless. This kind of thing should have been done by the little guy, but after these few days of training and being forced to do these things under his pressure, he's probably still lying in bed, needing to rest for two or three days."

Since the little rocket launcher had collapsed from exhaustion, his grandfather had no choice but to step in and help him out personally.

"...Red...Red-haired Lord, we can't accept this. You are our guests, how can we let you go to such lengths?"

The girl with the large fan waved her hand, flattered. She never expected that she would receive food from Konoha's Red Hair, who was even more powerful than her father. She couldn't even eat dragon meat.

"You're being too polite. Just call me Grandpa like Shikamaru does. You'll have to call me that sooner or later anyway, so it'll be easier to get used to it if you start early."

Shanks has no shame anymore. There's nothing he can do; this girl is now the richest second-generation ninja in the world. Even Neji's female companion, whose fighting style involves a barrage of ninja tools, isn't as wealthy. That girl only throws away scrap metal; nothing is as valuable as high-purity gold...

"That's right, sister. Lord Red-Haired is right. We'll be family sooner or later, so don't be so formal."

Kankuro, who was playing with dolls, chimed in, extremely excited. He was finally able to latch onto a powerful figure. After learning of his father's death, he had worried that his arrogant behavior in the village would be ruined, especially since his father was gone and his younger brother had become somewhat dim-witted after a fight in Konoha. With no one protecting him, life would be difficult. But now things were different. Almost everyone in the village knew that his older sister was the granddaughter-in-law chosen by Konoha's Shanks, and Shanks had even brought him to the village to flirt with her. With such a powerful figure right in front of him, he certainly wouldn't let it pass. Moreover, the Nara clan was known for being afraid of their wives, and in the male-dominated ninja world, his sister wouldn't suffer if she married into the clan. He wholeheartedly supported it.

Shanks gave Kankuro an approving look. This kid's pretty clever; he knows no one's protecting him after his father's death. But Shanks didn't care about such trivial matters; he wouldn't mind giving him a pair of floral shorts to put over his head after the deed was done.

"........."

The girl with the big fan rolled her eyes at her younger brother. As the older sister, how could she not know what her brother was thinking? Back when they were being monitored in Konoha, he kept talking about how great Nara Shikamaru was. After they came back, he kept nagging her endlessly. Did he really think she didn't know?

Although she had a decent feeling towards the lazy boy who had been bringing her food during that time, it wasn't yet time to discuss marriage. Besides, her father had just died, and she didn't know what was going on with her youngest brother. He'd been very emotionally unstable since that fight, not as volatile as before, but that was precisely what worried her. At this moment, she had no mind to think about marriage. Moreover, Nara Shikamaru was from Konoha; they'd been fighting to the death not long ago, and now they were talking about marriage? What kind of behavior was that?

Moreover, she was taught from a young age that Konoha was a great demon, while Sunagakure was the side of justice and should be irreconcilably opposed to the great demon.

"Alright, I've finished my task. I'll go back and check on my grandson. I'll have him come see you in a couple of days when he's better."

Seeing that the girl with the large fan didn't speak, Shanks assumed he was shy because he was an outsider, so he greeted her and left. He had done all he could; from now on, it was up to him to watch his little version of Skyrocket.

"Sister, I think Nara Shikamaru is pretty good. Look at all those ugly girls in the village, none of them are good enough for you. Why don't you just agree to be with Nara Shikamaru?"

After Shanks left, Kankuro once again reached for the food Shanks had brought and said...

"Snapped!"

"Since it's a good idea, why don't you agree to it? We're still from Sunagakure."

The girl with the big fan slapped Kankuro's dog paw away and glared at him.

"So what? You've seen what the village looks like now. If it weren't for Lord Chiyo and Lord Kaizo keeping things under control, we probably wouldn't even have a place to live right now."

Kankuro thought about what had happened these past few days. Their father wasn't born into a wealthy family; he was just from a small clan. He was just lucky to be chosen as a disciple by the Third Kazekage and then unexpectedly ascended to the Kazekage's throne. He didn't have any powerful family supporting him at all. Now that their father was dead, those people who had been suppressed by him for so long were bound to rebel.

695. Skills for the average guy

"Sigh... How is Gaara?"

Hearing her brother's words, the girl with the big fan sighed. She had long seen the true colors of those high-ranking officials. They bullied her and her brother while their father was away. If Gaara were any more normal, they wouldn't dare to do this, since the monster inside Gaara's belly was something they couldn't handle.

"It's still the same. After coming back, he locks himself in his room and won't respond no matter how much we call him."

Speaking of his younger brother, Kankuro also looked helpless. Their father was killed inexplicably, and they were saddened, but now was not the time to be sad and upset.

........

"Lazybones, don't look like you've lost all will to live. It's just exhaustion, nothing serious. Back in the day, your grandpa was beaten much worse by the First Generation than you are, and I'm still fine now."

When Shanks arrived at the house, he saw the small rocket launcher lying on the bed, half-dead, staring at the ceiling.

"Grandpa, please give me a few more days. If this continues, you'll be burying your child."

The little rocket looked over listlessly, thinking, "How the hell can I compare to you? If you're so arrogant, why don't you pass on your talent for sensing domineering energy to your mom, and then have her pass it on to me?"

"You better prove me right. Your grandpa has never really lost since I was a kid. If that idiot Jiraiya does this, your grandpa will really lose face in his old age. Do you want to see your grandpa being laughed at by Jiraiya every day? Naruto may be a little slow, but his talent is undeniable. Maybe one day he'll really get a cheat code and your grandpa will lose."

At this point, Shanks was actually a little nervous. After all, he was the chosen one of this era, and it was also the time when Kishimoto was at his most shameless, throwing out all sorts of cheat codes like they were free. In the end, he probably still couldn't beat Kaguya, so he forced the Six Paths to be resurrected as an Easter egg. It was truly outrageous.

The small version of the Sky Cannon was destined to be just a background character clearing out mobs. If it doesn't win this round while Naruto is still unfamiliar with the cheat codes, it will be very difficult in the future. No matter how strong the small version of the Sky Cannon is, it can't possibly steal the spotlight from Naruto, the chosen one with all sorts of halos. That's obviously unrealistic.

There are only two ways to make the lower-level Sky Cannon stronger within two years. The first is to make his body stronger, and then let him go to the Wet Bone Forest with Miss Slug to see if he can learn immortal techniques.

The second option is also to enhance physical abilities by learning the Eight Gates. With his talent, a smaller version of the Sky Cannon could open four or five gates within two years, which is fine. However, Shanks doesn't plan to choose this method. It's not that Shanks looks down on the Eight Gates, but in his opinion, a smaller version of the Sky Cannon doesn't need to learn such a death-defying forbidden technique. The Green Skin Clan only learned the Eight Gates because they lacked ninjutsu talent, but the only one who could truly open more than seven gates is probably Green Skin Guy. That bootleg Leonardo isn't being disrespectful; he's genuinely not good enough. His talent is far inferior to Green Skin Guy's. He'll probably be lucky to open six gates in the future. Besides, if he lets a smaller version of the Sky Cannon learn the Eight Gates, Haruko-sama will definitely want a divorce...

However, it's hard to say whether the smaller version of the Sky Cannon can learn Sage Mode or to what extent. Minato, Orochimaru, Tsunade, Garp, and Itachi are awesome, right? They are all top-tier super geniuses. But God is fair. He gave Minato the talent of spatial attributes but took away his original talent for Sage Mode. He can enter Sage Mode for much longer than Jiraiya, who is only half-baked, and he can only maintain it for a shorter time. For someone who has focused on Agility, it is basically useless.

Itachi is similar to his older brother Minato; their father, Kishimoto, stubbornly refused to give him the talent to learn Sage Mode, making them roughly equal in ability. The older brother is not mentioned as the younger brother...

Tsunade and Orochimaru are even more problematic. Despite possessing unparalleled talent, they simply cannot learn it and cannot sense any Sage Chakra.

However, Tsunade has the Yin Seal and the Hundred Healings Technique, so Sage Mode isn't very important to her. Orochimaru, on the other hand, is a complete tragedy. He can even develop Sage Mode and its curse seals, but he can only look at them and not use them.

While Jiraiya, a born idiot, may be half-baked, he can at least use Sage Mode in battle and be a real man for five minutes.

Garp's situation was better than Jiraiya's, perhaps because Hashirama Senju and Mito Uzumaki were protecting him, allowing him to activate Sage Mode without needing help from others like Jiraiya. However, the duration of his Sage Mode was about the same as Jiraiya's.

Garp, Jiraiya, and Naruto, these three worst students, can all learn it (automatically filtering out myself and Tsunade), while Minato, Orochimaru, and Itachi, these academic geniuses, can't learn it. As for whether the miniature version of the Sky Cannon will work, Shanks really has no idea. Sage Mode seems to be specially prepared for those underachievers, allowing them to achieve a rags-to-riches story.

Shanks was also wondering if the miniature rocket launcher would work, but at this point, he could only pray for his aunt's blessing.

Little Cannonball is inherently lazy. He can sit but not stand, lie down but not sit. He only dreams about exercising. His physical fitness is only slightly better than that of an average person. He can't compare to Naruto. Although Naruto looks down on unglamorous taijutsu, he has developed a lot of muscles from being beaten up by the second male lead in pants over the years. Therefore, Little Cannonball's path to becoming stronger is a bit harder than Naruto's.

"........"

Shanks has already said so, so what can Little Rocketeer say? You're the grandfather, whatever you say is right.

......

"What? You mean you want Naruto to go out and train?"

Inside Minato's house in Konoha, Kushina slammed a kitchen knife into Jiraiya's hand. Well, this lecherous bastard couldn't ruin her man, so now he's trying to ruin her son.

"Hey! What's with your reaction? I'm going to train Naruto to be as good as Minato, no! Even better than Minato!"

Jiraiya was startled by the kitchen knife, but regained his composure and said proudly, "If it were a fight with the captain, I would definitely surrender. But when it comes to teaching students... I, the Great Sage of Mount Myōboku, have never been afraid of anyone!" After saying that, Jiraiya winked at Minato beside him.

"You'll have to deal with your wife yourself..."

"No! Absolutely not! Minato's excellence is due to his own abilities, it has nothing to do with you. Naruto cannot be handed over to you!"

Kushina stood with her hands on her hips, looking fierce like a mother hen protecting her chicks, determined not to hand her son over to Jiraiya.

"Kushina, this time the Akatsuki's target is Naruto. It's easy to dodge a direct attack, but hard to guard against a sneak attack. We can't always be by his side. It's safer with Teacher looking after him."

Minato received a signal from Jiraiya and spoke gently.

"....snort!"

Kushina, who fears neither heaven nor earth, is completely swayed by Minato's tactics. After Minato finished speaking, Kushina snorted coldly and remained silent.

696. Keep up the good work, young man!