Konoha Drunkard

There are no secrets in Konoha, not even within Root. Although Danzo has placed a cursed seal on Root's underlings so they can't comment on their leader, there's no rule against commenting on their leader's best friend.

In no time, news spread throughout Konoha that the Third Generation Lord and the leader of a certain department were engaged in a fierce argument early in the morning at a certain department's base over a henchman named Yamanaka Hinami, disregarding their decades-long friendship.

The name Yamanaka Hiroshi suddenly became a celebrity in the village. Everyone wanted to know what kind of ability this Yamanaka Hiroshi had that made the two giants of Konoha tear each other apart. Could he be another extraordinary super genius?

"I'm telling you, the two of you are over a hundred years old combined, and you're still arguing here. Aren't you ashamed?"

Koharu looked at her two friends with a helpless expression. Such a big event as the two giants of Konoha arguing was bound to be accompanied by the other two giants, Shanks and Jiraiya, who were just idle people. However, Shanks and Jiraiya came over with sunflower seeds and stools to watch the show.

The two great writers would occasionally offer their comments on the things the two men said.

"The old man has declined in recent years since he retired. Even his verbal skills have decreased a lot. He can't even out-argue Danzo."

"I disagree with your point of view, Captain. I think it is Danzo and others who are making progress. The teacher has neither regressed nor progressed. It is just that he is about to be surpassed by Danzo."

"No, no, no, based on my years of experience, Danzo's experience hasn't changed much. The third generation of the old man's cultural literacy has indeed declined. He's been spouting nonsense for so long, but he hasn't delivered a single line that's refreshing."

"No, no, no, the teacher's cultural knowledge is still admirable. It's just that Danzo has read more books in recent years and uses sharper words, which gives people a sense of confrontation. But overall, he is still not as good as the teacher."

"You two, that's enough! Do you think we're dead?"

While Shanks and Jiraiya were munching on sunflower seeds and giving their insightful comments, Hiruzen Sarutobi and Danzo, who were arguing back and forth, couldn't take it anymore. They felt like they were being treated like monkeys.

"Haha! Don't worry about us, please continue your performance."

Shanks laughed heartily, not feeling embarrassed at all. This was a rare spectacle, a once-in-a-decade occurrence between two best buddies, and given their age, every time they saw it was one less time to witness it.

"Alright, all of you, shut up. Hiruzen, tell me what exactly happened."

Before Hiruzen Sarutobi and Danzo could retort, Koharu Utatane interrupted them. She'd heard her grandson rush over early that morning, telling her that the two friends were arguing over a mountain tribesman. Then Homura Kadokawa also came over, saying she still didn't understand what was going on. She'd been there for so long and had only heard them arguing the whole time, without getting to the point. She wanted to see what kind of extraordinary man this mountain tribesman was, that could make two friends disregard their years of friendship and argue like this. As for Shanks and Jiraiya, those two incredibly idle people, she had already ignored them.

"It's all because of Sarutobi. He came to me first thing this morning demanding people, trying to take away the talent I've painstakingly cultivated over the years. He's the successor I've nurtured with countless efforts. Koharu, tell me, isn't Sarutobi going too far?"

While Hiruzen Sarutobi was still preparing, Danzo pointed at him and started spitting all over him.

"Yes, yes, the Third Hokage is indeed going a bit too far. Danzo is so old. To put it nicely, he's at the age of fifty. To put it bluntly, he might kick the bucket any day. It makes sense to find a successor."

Danzo had just finished his rant when Shanks, stroking his chin, offered his opinion. This time, he sided with Danzo. Danzo, a lonely old man, deserved an heir to his vast fortune. Shanks was becoming increasingly curious about Yamanaka Hiroo. He'd heard the name a few times before from Inoichi, who was a friend of Inoichi's. He wondered how Hiroo had managed to prevent Danzo from placing a cursed seal on him, and how Hiroo occasionally leaked information about Root to Inoichi. Judging from Danzo's style, he clearly favored Hiroo. Wasn't the Third Hokage stealing Hiroo's affections? That was too underhanded.

"How dare you say that? Tell me what you did to Ri Nan last night! When I ran into him this morning, he was disheveled, his hair was messy, and he had tears in his eyes as he ran out of your house. He looked so desperate; it was heartbreaking to even smell or see."

Hiruzen Sarutobi wasn't one to mince words either; as soon as Shanks finished speaking, he pointed at Danzo and launched a furious attack.

708. I need to eat lighter meals from now on.

"..."

It was completely quiet around us!

Hiruzen Sarutobi's words were indeed packed with information, especially his description of that Japanese man in the mountains running out of Danzo's house early in the morning, disheveled and with tears in his eyes! That's the key point; it's so easy to fill in the blanks with your imagination.

"Brother Danzo! I'm so sorry! We've misunderstood you for so many years. It wasn't you who sneaked into Sister Koharu's room back then!"

Shanks suddenly lunged at Danzo in front of him, bursting into tears like a child who had done something wrong.

"Advisor Danzo, I never imagined you were this kind of person. I, Jiraiya, have been in the ninja world for many years, and the kind of person I despise the most is someone like you. Otherwise, out of consideration for our teacher and comradeship, I would have taken action long ago!"

"...Bastard! That's not true! How could I be that kind of person! Xiaochun, listen to me..."

Got it! Danzo finally understood why his best friend had changed his attitude over the years and was now fighting him to the death. It turned out there was a misunderstanding here. However, he hadn't expected his best friend's thoughts to be so filthy, making connections based on the appearance of the man. But that wasn't the point now, because even his other two friends were looking at him with disdain. He couldn't ignore other people's gazes, but he couldn't ignore Koharu's gaze.

"You still have something to say? Hiruzen saw it all, Danzo. I never thought you were this kind of person. I've treated you like a brother all these years, and you've completely disgraced our teacher! I, Mitokado Homura, am ashamed to be associated with you!"

Soy Sauce Customer Mitokado Homura also became agitated. What kind of person Danzo was was none of his concern; the key issue was that recently, Danzo had been frequently visiting him, occasionally sending his underlings to deliver tonics. Who knew what Danzo's intentions were towards him? The thought sent chills down Mitokado Homura's spine...

"Yes, Brother Danzo, as a friend I don't discriminate against you on this issue, but from a moral standpoint, I'm on their side. Besides, you even attacked people from your own village, it's really..."

Shanks looked at Danzo with a look of deep disappointment and frustration.

"Ah!!! You bastards! Can't you let me finish what I have to say?!"

Danzo felt like he was going crazy. At this moment, he really wanted to strangle that old bastard Hiruzen Sarutobi. What did he have to think of? Why did he have to come up with such filthy images and corrupt them all!

"Alright, alright! I'm a staunch advocate of democracy. I'll give you a chance to debate. You have five minutes to prepare your statement. I'd like to see if you have any further comments after all the witnesses and evidence."

This is so exciting! It's really so exciting! Although Danzo is usually a bit gloomy, Shanks still believes that Danzo is not that kind of person. But... even if it's not true, it's still very exciting.

"Hmph! I'd like to hear what other excuses you have..."

Mitomon Homura snorted coldly. Now, whenever he thought of the days when he drank tea and played chess with Danzo, he felt a chill run down his spine for no reason.

"...Last night...I had a nightmare. My men notified Rinan. Rinan rushed over overnight, so he wasn't dressed properly. Plus, he hadn't slept all night, so of course he ended up like this. I was even planning to introduce my niece to him. How could I possibly do that to him? Xiaochun, you must believe me."

Danzo recounted the events of the previous night with a mix of truth and falsehood, but he omitted many key details, such as his dream of reaching the pinnacle of life...

"Pfft... You mean you're going to introduce your niece to that Yamanaka Hito guy?"

Shanks understood at noon why Hiruzen Sarutobi felt despair when he met that Yamanaka Higanbana.

Danzo's eldest niece! The one who's over forty and still unmarried, the one who played the monster in Konoha's famous disaster movies...

Putting everything else aside, her sheer weight alone would require two or three adult men to move. Even Garp, who has face blindness, was brought to tears by her ugliness. This gives you an idea of ​​just how ugly Danzo's niece is. The saying that there are no ugly women in anime is nonsense; when they're truly ugly, it's unbearable. The Shimura clan is strange. The males of the Shimura clan are actually quite good-looking; Danzo was quite handsome in his youth. But the females born into the Shimura clan seem cursed from birth. No matter how beautiful their parents are, if a girl is born, she... One of them was presentable, a perfect combination of his parents' unattractive features. Moreover, although the Shimura clan had declined, they still lived comfortably thanks to their large casino. Accustomed to a life of luxury, their physiques were predictably unkempt. Why was Kisame able to thrive among the Shimura clan back then? Besides his formidable strength, some members of the Shimura clan were spoiled and bloated, lacking any real substance. Try sending Kisame to fight the equally declining Sarutobi clan; how could he possibly achieve such results?

"What's the problem? He'll be inheriting my lineage, so what's wrong with strengthening family ties through marriage?"

Danzo said matter-of-factly.

"........."

Now everyone, including Hiruzen Sarutobi, realized they had misunderstood Danzo. Yamanaka Hiroo hadn't actually been thoroughly humiliated, but it seemed his condition was even worse than if he'd been. Thinking of Danzo's niece, everyone felt a wave of nausea; they'd better eat lighter meals from now on.

"So... if that's the case, then Brother Danzo really doesn't have that kind of... hobby, huh? I'm telling you, Third Hokage, that's not right of you. You come here and start making a fuss without even figuring things out first. Now look what happened, you're on the front page again."

To be fair, Danzo wasn't really wrong in this matter. However, Shanks couldn't believe that Yamanaka Hiroo was so impressive. To be so highly regarded by Danzo, who not only considered him his successor but also wanted to marry his niece to him, was truly remarkable. Danzo wasn't an easy person to deal with; to have risen to such a position under Danzo was indeed extraordinary. Nevertheless, Shanks silently mourned for him for a few seconds. Danzo's requests weren't easy to refuse, especially from Yamanaka Hiroo, his subordinate of decades. He certainly wouldn't dare refuse.

"........."

Hiruzen Sarutobi smoked his pipe in silence. He knew he had indeed gone too far this time, but ultimately it was Danzo's fault for not explaining himself clearly.

"Since everything's alright, let's go back..."

Koharu Utatane rolled her eyes at Hiruzen Sarutobi. Look at the mess this has made. Luckily, it hasn't gotten too big yet. If it had, and the whole village was full of gossip about Danzo, then it would have been a real problem. Danzo wouldn't have been able to explain himself no matter what. There are so many paparazzi in the village, and who knows how far the rumors would have gone.

709. Such high level of ideological awareness even twenty years ago!

"Inoichi, what is the background of that Yamanaka Hiroo from your family, or is there anything special about him? How come the third-generation elder is fighting Danzo like this?"

After leaving Root, Shanks suddenly became interested in Yamanaka Hiroo, wanting to see what special talent this Yamanaka Hiroo possessed that Danzo valued him so much, even considering him his successor, which was completely inconsistent with Danzo's image.

So he came to ask Yamanaka Inoichi to find out the truth. Jiraiya was just as curious. There had been super geniuses in the village before, but he had never seen his teacher and Danzo argue like this. This time, the two old guys almost got into a fight because of this Yamanaka Hiro. He also wanted to see what kind of person this Yamanaka Hiro was. Could he be a super genius who had been hiding for decades?

"...Actually, I don't know much about it either. I only know that when Lord Danzo established Root, he asked various clans for people. Our Yamanaka clan also had some orphaned children taken away, and Hino was one of them. Later, for some reason, he quickly rose to a high position in Root in just a few years and inexplicably became Danzo's favorite. If it weren't for the fact that his parents were recorded in the clan genealogy, my father would have suspected that he was Danzo's illegitimate son, as rumored. If you ask if he has any special qualities, it seems like he doesn't. His talent is ordinary, no different from most of the clan members, and his daily life is just like ours."

As Yamanaka Inoichi recalled, he said that even he was quite surprised this morning. He knew that Yamanaka Hiro had been a favorite of Danzo all these years. Because of his existence, their Yamanaka clan had not been constantly watched by Danzo like other clans. But he couldn't really say what was different about them. He didn't feel that there was anything different when they chatted.

"That's impossible. If it were really like you say, your mountain clan could find a lot of people like that. Let's not even talk about the third generation elders. Just look at the people in Root to know what kind of person Danzo is. How could he be so easy to get along with? It's not easy to gain Danzo's favor. Think carefully about some of his little details, or what kind of food he likes to eat, what his hobbies are, etc."

After hearing what Yamanaka Inoichi said, Shanks shook his head. There must be something special about that Yamanaka Hiro that the Yamanaka clan doesn't have. Just like when you like someone, that person must have something that others don't have. Just like how he likes Itachi, he likes how Itachi was cute when he was a child, but his personality was extremely mature. He especially likes this contrast.

If Yamanaka Hiroo were truly like Yamanaka Inoichi, no different from other members of the Yamanaka clan, there would be plenty of people like him, and Danzo wouldn't have favored Yamanaka Hiroo exclusively for decades.

When the Third Hokage was Hokage, he had a large number of members from the Yamanaka clan under his command, but he never seemed to favor or take special care of any of them. Therefore, Shanks, based on his years of experience in judging people, told him that this Yamanaka Hiroo must have something special about him.

"As for food, there's nothing special about it. As for hobbies... Oh, right, he's also a big fan of your books. He has a complete set of your books at home, and they're even collector's editions. He said he habitually takes them out and reads them every night before going to bed."

Yamanaka Inoichi suddenly slapped his thigh, as if he had discovered something extraordinary. And it was indeed extraordinary. He had once bought a copy of his teacher's book out of courtesy, but after reading two pages, he threw it away. In his opinion, his teacher's book was just a bunch of boring nonsense. So when he saw that Yamanaka Hiro had that boring book written by his teacher in his collection, and even a collector's edition, he was deeply impressed.

"I wrote a book???? I've never written a book!"

Shanks looked at Jiraiya with a puzzled expression. He didn't remember writing a book.

"It seems... maybe... this is how it should be..."

Jiraiya also looked bewildered. He seemed to have a tiny recollection that the captain had once published a book, but it was just a vague memory, and he wasn't sure.

"It's not surprising that you don't remember, teacher. That book was written more than 20 years ago. It didn't sell very well back then. But I bought a copy myself. Wait a minute, I'll show it to you."

Seeing that Shanks and Jiraiya both looked bewildered, Yamanaka Inoichi got up and went to find a book.

"...Captain, you actually wrote a book?"

Jiraiya looked at Shanks with his beady eyes, while Yamanaka Inoichi didn't seem to be lying.

"If you can write novels, what's so strange about my book? But... I didn't expect that I had such high level of awareness in my early twenties, knowing that publishing books is about educating people. I'm even planning to write an autobiography recently."

Shanks gave Jiraiya a disdainful look, but he was also curious to see what kind of nonsense Jiraiya had written in his masterpiece from over twenty years ago.

"Didn't Haiyi just say that the sales weren't very good? That means the book must not be very well written."

Jiraiya retorted with a look of utter disdain.

"That's still better than you writing those little notebooks. You're corrupting the next generation of ninjas, ruining the ninja world's atmosphere, and damaging their character."

Shanks retorted with a disdainful look.

"My work is a great science of the human body, and it also brings spiritual comfort to those living in dire straits. It's not just a little book."

Jiraiya got angry. You can insult him, but you can't insult his work.

"To be able to make such a bad influence on children sound so elegant and refined, Jiraiya, you've really changed. Don't ever say you know me again, I, Shanks, one of the Four Emperors, can't afford to lose face like this."

Shanks continued to express his disdain.

"Found it! It's the notebook. It's been over twenty years, so it's really not easy to find it."

Shanks had just finished criticizing Jiraiya when Yamanaka Inoichi walked over with a very new book. Just by looking at the cover, it didn't look like a book from more than twenty years ago. It looked brand new, probably never even been opened, and there wasn't even a single crease.

"The art of speaking? What the hell? Captain, you didn't pay for it yourself, did you? Is the person who helped you publish your book back then still alive? Is he bankrupt yet?"

Jiraiya snatched the book first and saw the large characters on the cover. His question mark above his head grew even larger. Who would publish such a utterly boring book for him? Did they see through the world and no longer want to do business?

710. Knowledge changes destiny

"Vulgar! Utterly vulgar! As pioneers in education, we can't always be looking at money. My book teaches the principles of being a person and doing things, which is much more sophisticated than your little booklets."

Seeing the book title brought back memories of those years. He did indeed write this book. It was shortly after World War II, and he had only been the vice principal of the Ninja Academy for a few years. But Jiraiya was right. Back then, the bookstore owners didn't recognize its value and no one was willing to help him publish it. He paid for the printing himself. However, he didn't really care about the sales. That was the peak of his wealth. The gifts that Hiashi and Hizashi's father gave him alone amounted to more than that. Who would care about such a small amount of money?

"So it's boring..."

Jiraiya shrugged. Only those bored old scholars would read such boring books. The mainstream of this world is passion and...books. How many people would read this kind of philosophical stuff? You could fall asleep just looking at it.

"You mean that Yamanaka Hiroo also has this book at home, and he reads it every night before bed?"