Konoha Drunkard

Shanks asked Yamanaka Inoichi, who seemed to have found some clues. He realized that the book was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, filled with his own wildly rambling nonsense—basically, a guide to flattery. Such a book was indeed incredibly boring in the context of life in the Naruto world. The ninja world was a place without human rights; strength was everything. Flattery was utterly useless; if someone wanted to kill you, no matter how sweet your words, they would still kill you. From Shanks' current perspective, the book was indeed quite boring. However, he also discovered why Danzo valued Yamanaka Hiroshi so much. The book might be useless in the ninja world, but it was different in Konoha. Firstly, Konoha wasn't as dangerous as the ninja world, and secondly, people generally listened to flattery, unless they weren't human. This was especially true for powerful figures like Danzo and Hiruzen Sarutobi. Did Hiruzen Sarutobi really have nothing better to do than wander the streets all day? He just wanted to hear the villagers' compliments. Otherwise, he wouldn't have erected such a shameless monument to his achievements at the Hokage Building.

Danzo is the same, and he's even worse than Hiruzen Sarutobi. Because of their different positions and the things he did that made him so talkative, no one would flatter him. Even his underlings were mostly afraid of him, so how could they dare to flatter him? They'd be lucky if they didn't mess things up.

However, this Yamanaka Hiro not only dared to flatter Danzo, but also learned some novel language from the book. Since Danzo had never heard of such language before, he assumed that Yamanaka Hiro had come up with it himself and that Yamanaka Hiro genuinely admired him. This was completely different from those vulgar flatterers. Under such circumstances, it would be strange if Danzo didn't treat him like his own son.

As for the three generations of old men, although I've heard others say the same thing countless times, it's all just ordinary flattery like "hard work" and "greatness," which I'm tired of hearing. It's nothing like the flattery of Yamanaka Hitoshi, who is a master of sycophancy.

So, this book he wrote on a whim really did create a master of all kinds of verbal sparring. Although this kind of verbal sparring is different from Naruto's; it doesn't have the effects of strengthening allies and weakening enemies, but it does have the ability to put people in a very comfortable state. Just thinking about how the person he unintentionally created was fought over by the Third Hokage and Danzo...

"Captain, what are you thinking about? Why have you been thinking for so long?"

Jiraiya saw Shanks had been deep in thought ever since he saw the title of the book, and he was getting impatient waiting for so long.

"It's nothing. I just didn't expect that Yamanaka Hiroshi was a fan of my books. He reads my masterpieces every day. Knowledge changes destiny. I am so great."

Shanks has really gotten cocky. His spur-of-the-moment creation has actually created a legend. Tell me, who else can do that?

"Pshaw! What's so great about it? Countless people are reviewing my work every night..."

Seeing Shanks's smug expression, Jiraiya curled his lip in disdain.

"They just used your work as a tool to vent their frustrations. How can that compare to mine? I changed a person's life. If that Yamanaka Hiroo hadn't read my book and learned the principles of being a good person from it, he would have been finished long ago."

Shanks said smugly, feeling a greater responsibility on his shoulders and the need to write his autobiography properly.

"........"

Jiraiya turned his head away, not wanting to talk to him. His work, while unable to change fate, could at least reduce the crime rate in the ninja world...

Knowing he still had fans, Shanks certainly couldn't let them down. He casually signed his name on Yamanaka Inoichi's book, had him hand it over to Yamanaka Hio, and then left the Yamanaka clan to go home.

Starting today, he's found a new goal. Back home, Shanks didn't eat. Under Haruko's curious gaze, he went into the study, took out paper and pen, and began to write prolifically...

"what are you doing?"

Haruko-sama entered the study, curious to see what was wrong with this guy again. He'd come home and immediately buried his face in the study—this illiterate man had only been in his study a handful of times over the years. Had he taken the wrong medicine today?

"Today I suddenly found a new purpose in life. As a pioneer in education, should I write another book to educate future generations, just like the book I wrote back then?"

After writing fifty or sixty words, Shanks slumped into a chair, exhausted.

"You? Write books? And another one of those boring books?"

Haruko-sama thought this guy had really lost his mind. Wasn't the lesson learned from last time enough? He wanted to do it again. To be honest, she was the first person to read Shanks' book. Since her husband was publishing a book, she had to support him no matter what. So she had already read the manuscript before Shanks' book was even printed. As for her feelings after reading it, there were only two words: boring! Extremely boring!

If it weren't for her strong willpower, she wouldn't have been able to finish that book at all. She lost a fortune on that book back then, and now she wants to buy another copy.

"You don't know, let me tell you... I never imagined that my book would actually change Yamanaka Hiroo's life. I'm so amazing!"

Shanks recounted to Haruko-sama everything from being a bystander in Root this morning to investigating the Yamanaka clan, starting with the Yamanaka Hito. By the end, he was getting carried away again.

711. Enveloped in a golden light

"And then you wrote all this after all that time?"

Seeing his smugness, Haruko pointed to the cat-paw-like characters on the desk, which probably few people could understand.

"I'm just making a draft first, and then I'll write the full version once it's organized."

Shanks also found it strange. How did he manage to write that book back then? He had already struggled to write just a few dozen words, while that book seemed to have at least hundreds of thousands of words. Even with his literary background, he couldn't have made it up by guesswork.

"Whatever makes you happy..."

Haruko shook her head and walked out of the study. In her opinion, this guy only had a three-minute attention span, and it would be strange if he could actually write anything. But it was better for him to stay at home and write than to go out and wander around. Who cared what he wrote?

"This job is absolutely inhuman."

After Haruko left, Shanks lost N+1 more brain cells and wrote a few dozen more words before stopping. He simply couldn't write anymore. At this rate of less than a hundred words per hour, it would probably take decades to finish an autobiography, by which time he would be dead. What was the point of writing then?

"No! I have to think of something. I'm not good at writing, but dictating should be fine, right...?"

Thinking of this, Shanks slammed his fist on the table and stood up. In the entire Hidden Leaf Village, no one knew who had the best writing skills, but if you asked who could pad their writing to a certain word count, Shanks could tell you it was undoubtedly his son-in-law, Big Skyrocket. Back in the day, he could stretch a self-criticism into over ten thousand words; if it weren't for the somewhat poor content, it could have become a classic. Who else in the world could do that today! If he were to dictate it to Big Skyrocket to write…

......

“Father-in-law, it’s not that I don’t want to help you, but I have a ton of things to do every day, I don’t have time to write this for you.”

In the Nara clan, Big Cannon looked at his father-in-law sitting opposite him, carrying a large sword and ready to draw it at any moment, and his eyelids kept twitching. He knew it, he had a feeling of unease when he came back tonight, as if something big was about to happen. Sure enough, right after he finished eating, his father-in-law came with his sword.

As for writing an autobiography... he already has enough to do every day, where would he find the time to write such nonsense?

"Snapped!"

"It won't take you much time. With your skill level, you can easily finish hundreds of thousands of words. Stop dawdling like a woman and hurry up and get out your paper and pen. I'll tell you what to write."

Shanks slammed the withered tree trunk onto the table, his eyes fixed on the giant rocket. "If you don't write, I'm going to draw my sword."

"...Lingling, get me some paper and pen."

Looking up at the sky like a giant rocket, he's got nothing better to do than eat and burn. I'm busy all day long, and when I get back I still have to write some bullshit autobiography for you.

He wasn't afraid of the knife itself, but rather the person wielding it. His father-in-law was capable of chopping anything in a fit of rage; back in the Land of Rain, if he hadn't been restrained, he probably would have slashed half of his own men...

"Ahem... Listen carefully. One night in the fifth year of Konoha, the night sky over the Land of Whirlpools was enveloped in a golden light..."

"Grandpa...you're a reincarnation of a god!"

The little rocket launcher was speechless. What the hell?! Enveloped in golden light! Even the birth of the First Generation Lord wasn't this spectacular...

“When an adult speaks, you can go play with nunchucks somewhere else. This is artistic embellishment, don’t you understand? If everyone were like everyone else, what would be the point of watching it?”

Shanks slapped the little rocket launcher on the head, interrupting the emotions he had just built up.

"Father-in-law, please continue..."

With a sigh, DaBiaoChongTai reluctantly picked up his pen and began writing furiously. He couldn't even imagine how many people would criticize him after his autobiography was published, as if everyone was an idiot.

"Where were we? Oh, right, bathed in golden light, in Wochao Village... I'll stop here for now, and write about the second half of my life in a few decades."

As Shanks dictated and gestured, he vividly recounted the first half of his life, from his debut to his retirement, in one night.

"Phew... Father-in-law, you go back first. I'll show it to you after I finish writing it."

He was writing furiously, his head almost drooping. After a busy day, he had to help an old guy with nothing better to do write his autobiography at night.

"Alright, I'll head back now. I'm getting old, and I'm really tired after not sleeping all night. Keep writing, and I'll ask Minato for leave on my way."

Shanks stood up, stretched, patted his legs, and walked away with a flourish, leaving behind the giant rocket still struggling to type.

Having a son-in-law is so convenient. If it were a son, he might not be so hardworking and willing to do things. Just like Garp, you have to nag him two or three times before he'll do anything.

"Hey teacher, where are you going? You're up so early."

Shanks was walking down the street when he happened to run into Hiruzen Sarutobi's nephew, the current head of the Sarutobi clan, Sarutobi Seido.

"Stop! I'll allow you to not call me teacher; you look like you're my generation now."

Sarutobi Seito is growing more and more mature. Although he is the same age as Minato, he looks like Sarutobi Hiruzen's brother, especially his long, unshaven beard, which is exactly the same as Sarutobi Hiruzen's. It must be so awkward to be called "teacher" by such a little old man in public.

"...Teacher, there's no need to be so sarcastic. It's just how I was born, there's nothing I can do about it."

Sarutobi entered the cave with a bitter face. Because of this face, he didn't find a girlfriend until he was middle-aged. His peers all had sons and daughters who had graduated, while his child was still too young to run errands. Naruto still called him "Grandpa Sarutobi." Just thinking about it brought tears to his eyes.

“It’s not your fault that you look like this, but you should shave off your beard that’s been growing for decades. If you keep going like this, I’ll have to call you uncle.”

Shanks glanced at him sideways, not understanding why the Sarutobi clan liked to grow big beards so much. Hiruzen Sarutobi was like that, Sarutobi Inoku was like that, and Asuma was like that too.

"By the way, why aren't you at home changing the baby's diapers? What are you doing out here?"

Shanks then remembered that Sarutobi had rarely left the cave since becoming the clan leader, spending all his time at home, which was completely different from his lively and mischievous childhood self.

"Minato sent the ANBU to notify me to go over there; he seemed to be in a hurry."

Sarutobi shrugged. He hadn't carried out any missions for many years since leaving the Anbu to take care of his father, so Minato's sudden request for the Anbu to notify him was quite unexpected.

712. The fourth and fifth tails ran away.

In the Hokage's office in Konoha, the village's top leaders, along with Minato, were gathered. Each of them wore a solemn expression, making it clear to anyone with eyes that something major had happened. Otherwise, the retired Konoha trio wouldn't be in the Hokage's office. As for the other leader, Danzo, he had gone into seclusion within Root after a fight with his best friend, refusing to emerge no matter how much Hiruzen Sarutobi pleaded.

This major event has nothing to do with Konoha itself, because the Jinchuriki of the Four-Tails and Five-Tails from Iwagakure have run away and their whereabouts are unknown. As soon as the spy in Iwagakure sent back the news, Minato felt something was wrong. Normally, if the Four-Tails and Five-Tails Jinchuriki ran away, they would be happy to see them go. But now it's different. Orochimaru just sent back news a while ago that the Akatsuki were plotting to get the Nine-Tails. Although it is still unknown what the Akatsuki wanted the Nine-Tails for, so many nuclear weapons combined are definitely not a good thing.

So Minato immediately convened a meeting of Konoha's leaders. Aside from their Grand Marshal, who was currently helping his father-in-law with his writing and unable to attend, Danzo, another leader, was also absent due to his sullen mood. Even Sakumo Hatake, who usually stayed at the Anbu base, came.

Because currently only Konoha knows about the Akatsuki, other ninja villages don't know anything about this organization, and some even think that the person in charge of the Land of Rain is still that lazy Hanzo.

With the Four-Tails and Five-Tails having fled and disappeared, the Akatsuki members, who knew their target, were naturally very nervous. Early in the morning, the group gathered in the Hokage's office to share their opinions and express their views.

Koharu Utatane believes that we should notify Iwagakure now, tell them the Akatsuki's target, and make them take it seriously so that we can bring the Jinchuriki back before the Akatsuki can make a move.

Soy sauce customer Mito nods.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, however, believed that informing Iwagakure at this point was pointless. Firstly, they lacked evidence that the Akatsuki's target was the Tailed Beasts. Secondly, given Onoki's personality, he was unlikely to accept their overtures and might even suspect Konoha of some malicious scheme. Furthermore, informing Iwagakure would endanger their infiltrators; Onoki would undoubtedly launch a massive purge. Many of Iwagakure's high-ranking officials were unaware of this, yet Konoha had received the news—Onoki would certainly be furious. Moreover, if they intervened this time, they might inadvertently make things worse. Therefore, Hiruzen Sarutobi suggested sending people to search for the Four-Tails and Five-Tails Jinchuriki first.

Soy sauce customer Mito Kazuhiro nodded...

Minato agreed with Hiruzen Sarutobi's opinion. He had dealt with Onoki Red-Nosed before. Onoki Red-Nosed was a man whose mind was full of schemes and who was also suspicious. Even if they told him that Konoha was there to help, Onoki Red-Nosed wouldn't believe them. So, the current situation was that they could only help find out the Jinchuriki's whereabouts and then notify Onoki to let his people take action.

As for who to send, there are naturally some procedures involved. First, the person must be someone who can protect you. Second, their reputation cannot be too great. If they are too famous, and you encounter Iwa ninja on the way, the Iwa ninja might think they have designs on the Jinchuriki.

So, Sakumo Hatake, who wanted his son to make the trip, should shut up. Kakashi has a certain reputation in the ninja world. Leaving aside his titles like "Konoha Technician" and "Copy Ninja," his very identity as the son of the White Fang of Konoha means he can't afford to be low-key.

Besides Kakashi, Green-skinned Guy is also a good candidate, but Hiruzen Sarutobi is reluctant to give him up. He doesn't know how many gates Green-skinned Guy can open right now, but given Green-skinned Guy's clumsy tongue and easily impulsive nature, if he can't explain things clearly and ends up opening seven or eight gates in a fight, they'll be at a huge loss. Hiruzen Sarutobi knows firsthand how powerful the Eight Gates are, so it's best to save Green-skinned Guy, this nuclear weapon, for a crucial moment.

Shisui would actually be a good fit, but Koharu Utatane absolutely refused. Whether Shisui would be discovered to be alive if he were to take action was another matter, but the village's security work alone couldn't do without Shisui.

Kakashi wasn't an option, neither was Might Guy, and Shisui couldn't go either. They suddenly realized that Konoha's younger generation had very few talented individuals left. There were a few younger ones, but they were still too young and lacked the strength to lead a team. Just as everyone was thinking about who else was capable of carrying out this mission, Hiruzen Sarutobi, puffing on his pipe, suddenly had a flash of inspiration. His nephew was the perfect candidate! Because of his younger brother, he had retired at the peak of his career to care for him. After that, he had stayed at home, and no one outside knew him. Moreover, he possessed the ability to lead a team; sending him was the most suitable choice.

It was only after Hiruzen Sarutobi's suggestion that everyone remembered Sarutobi Inoku. This guy had been staying at home for so long that they had almost forgotten that there was such a person in the Sarutobi clan.

Minato, in particular, covered his head and looked up at the sky. He had actually forgotten about his friend. However, he was also a little worried. After all, his friend's child had just been born. Although he was only going to gather information, who knew if he would run into the Akatsuki. If he ran into Itachi Uchiha, it would be better and there would be no danger. But if he ran into other people, it was uncertain. Moreover, even if he didn't run into the Akatsuki, it would be dangerous if he encountered a Jinchuriki who went berserk.

However, they really couldn't think of a suitable candidate right now, and Hiruzen Sarutobi insisted on sending his nephew, so Minato had no choice but to send the Anbu to inform his comrades.

Unbeknownst to Minato and the others, while they were worried about the Akatsuki's attack on the Four-Tails and the Five-Tails and were concerned for Iwagakure, Onoki actually arranged to meet with the Akatsuki's treasurer, the famous pharmaceutical tycoon Kakuzu, and his underling Hidan, who was said to be immortal.

With both Jinchūriki of the village missing, it was impossible for Onoki Red-Nosed not to be anxious. However, unlike Minato and the others, he didn't send his underlings to search for them. Having learned from his past experience, he immediately contacted Kakuzu, who had retired from the underworld and become a boss. Back when the Five-Tails Jinchūriki escaped, he had sent his underlings before, but it was utterly useless except for the sacrifice of his underlings. Now that both the Four-Tails and Five-Tails had escaped, sending his underlings would be even more pointless. It was better to pay someone else to search, just like last time, so he wouldn't have to worry so much. He could just prepare the money and wait.

713. Your friend Shimura Hanzo is now online.

"boom!"

"Shanks, Kakuzu sent me to see you. He says there's a big deal."