Konoha Drunkard

Upon hearing Shanks' words, the major figures of Konoha were immediately alarmed, especially Hiruzen Sarutobi, who was the most opposed to the forbidden technique of Impure World Reincarnation. Now this bastard wanted to summon both of the Divine Dragons.

“I originally wanted to do that too. That masked man found the Impure World Reincarnation technique at the Great Scientist Research Institute in the Land of Rain. Recently, he’s been digging up graves everywhere. He’s come to Konoha several times. Otherwise, with me here, the cemetery would probably be full of pits by now. But other ninja villages haven’t been so lucky. I estimate that he’s dug up the graves of at least two Kage from those villages.”

Shanks explained.

"What?! I never agreed to perfecting this ninjutsu in the first place! Orochimaru, look what you've done!"

Hiruzen Sarutobi glared angrily at his most favored disciple. The thought of the Tsuchikage, Mizukage, and Kazekage being resurrected one by one sent chills down his spine.

"Teacher, this ninjutsu was developed by the Second Hokage; I just used it casually."

Snake said, completely ignoring Hiruzen Sarutobi's little glance.

"...You are disturbing the ancestors, and you will be punished."

Hiruzen Sarutobi was speechless and stomped his foot heavily.

"I just got my comeuppance, what's the rush? Shisui, notify Tsunade and Nawaki, have their whole family come over, then we'll hear the story."

After Shanks took out several White Zetsu corpses and placed them on the ground, he said to Shisui.

Since you've summoned both of their grandfathers, you should at least inform them first. Most importantly, when Hashirama Senju helps Tsunade repay the debt, the person involved should ideally be present. That way, that old idiot can't renege on his debt... Just take him for a trip to the Land of Wind, and you'll have plenty of money!

804. Your man is causing trouble again.

"I recognize your three scars! You're a little drunkard? I recognize your white-haired guy! The white-haired guy from the Hatake family, right? Little monkey, you're so old, but your figure hasn't changed at all! Hahaha!"

In the office of the head of the Anbu, everyone watched speechlessly as Hashirama Senju rubbed the heads of Sakumo Hatake and Kakashi in one hand, chattering on and on. It is said that one should not expose a person's shortcomings, but this guy did not have a single kind word in his mouth.

"........"

Sakumo Hatake was alright, having had many similar experiences since childhood. Kakashi's dead fish eyes kept rolling; this scene was all too familiar. Wasn't this just a larger version of that old bastard Shanks? He truly was the man who taught Konoha's Red-Haired Shanks.

"First Generation Master, Teacher, I am very sorry to disturb you!"

Hiruzen Sarutobi suppressed his urge to fight Hashirama Senju and spoke to Hashirama and Tobirama Senju.

"Is this the Impure World Reincarnation technique? Tobirama, didn't I tell you to destroy this kind of messy ninjutsu?"

Hashirama Senju looked at his own body and said to his younger brother.

"...This little bastard somehow found and perfected it. He's brought this up several times already. Tell me, what's this time? Did Tsunade lose money again?"

Tobirama Senju casually shifted the blame to Shanks, saying, "If it weren't for your granddaughter constantly losing money, I wouldn't have to keep running around helping her pay off her debts."

"Oh? Shanks is so amazing, he can even perfect those messy ninjutsu... Hahaha!"

Hashirama Senju came over again and vigorously rubbed Shanks' head, determined not to stop until he rubbed it bald.

"........."

The young people present stared at Hashirama Senju with bewildered eyes, never expecting their ninja god to be such a goofball...

"Old man, let me go! There are a few things I need you to do here. First, your man is causing trouble again. The ninja world is at a critical juncture, and we really can't keep things under control if you don't come out. Second, regarding Uchiha Sasuke, my precious disciple, what the hell did you write in the will you gave him? Now he's truly become an avenger; he won't be satisfied until he's crippled Konoha. So I need you to come out and give him some advice. Lastly, and most importantly! Your granddaughter Tsunade and your grandson Nawaki's son have been gambling too much these past few years. Our whole family is living in misery, we've reached the point of barely surviving. I've already spoken with the current Kazekage; we'll take you to the Land of Wind sometime to help them plant trees and make some money! We'll improve our living conditions."

Shanks broke free from Hashirama Senju's evil hand and spoke to Itachi, who was still in a daze, before speaking to Hashirama Senju.

"-.-?? My man?... Ahahaha! Kima has had another son, now he even has a grandson, truly worthy of being Hashirama Senju's offspring!"

Hashirama Senju first looked at it with a question mark, then put his hands on his hips and laughed proudly.

"Brother, stop talking nonsense, what's going on with Shanks?"

After giving Hashirama Senju a furious glare, Tobirama Senju turned to Shanks for a question.

"Here's the thing. Actually, when Madara fought that old guy one-on-one, he wasn't dead yet. He must have used some forbidden technique of the Uchiha clan to fake his death and revive. I can be 100% sure of that because I fought him twice more than ten years ago. But in the last fight, he was really dead, because I could feel his life force had completely drained away. However, he's still causing trouble in the ninja world with his backup plan. They've already declared war on the ninja world, and they also have the Impure World Reincarnation technique. Just in case, we summoned you out first. As for the Uchiha... it's a long story, let the current Third Hokage tell you."

"What?! Madara wasn't dead back then? All that grief I felt back then..."

As soon as Shanks finished speaking, Hashirama Senju lost his composure. He had initially thought he'd accidentally killed his best friend, and for the next few years he was consumed by guilt, thinking, "If only I hadn't gone so far..."

"...He not only didn't die back then, but he also did a lot of things. However, I also suspect that he did it, since no one else has such audacity."

Shanks was speechless. What kind of time is this? Can you stop your silly behavior and be serious?

Afterwards, Hiruzen Sarutobi and Minato told them about the Uchiha clan's self-destructive actions, Itachi's massacre of the clan to prove his Dao, and so on...

"Teacher, has Sasuke really become like this?"

Itachi finally snapped out of his daze upon seeing the First and Second Hokage. He couldn't believe that his younger brother harbored such hatred for the village.

"That's right. Your brother has awakened the Eternal Kaleidoscope and is incredibly arrogant. He dared to take on eight powerful figures at the Five Kage Summit. He got completely thrashed. Go and talk to him now; a world war is about to break out."

Shanks patted Itachi on the shoulder.

.........

"Look, you see that? His eyes look like he wants to eat you alive. If I weren't giving you face, I would have beaten him into an idiot."

The group arrived at the place where the second male lead was being held. As soon as they reached the door, they saw the second male lead staring at them with a fierce look in his eyes. When he saw Itachi, who had been resurrected through Edo Tensei, his expression changed to shock.

"This kid looks familiar, like I've seen him somewhere before."

Hashirama Senju looked at the pretty face of the second male lead who was talking to Itachi and stroked his chin, thinking to himself.

"...It doesn't matter who he looks like, just quickly talk him out of it. Before Tsunade and the others arrive, you come with me to the Land of Wind and help them with the landscaping, and pay off all the debts that Tsunade and Garp owe."

Shanks pulled Hashirama Senju aside and whispered something to him.

"Haha, I never imagined that Rope Tree's son would be as skilled at gambling as I am..."

Hashirama Senju started gloating again, completely oblivious to the fact that his hobby had ruined generations of his family...

"...By the way, why didn't you tell the monkeys when you discovered Madara Uchiha's identity?"

Tobirama Senju asked Shanks.

"Second Uncle, back then the whole world thought that Uncle Ban was dead. And when I first met Uncle Ban, he was already over eighty years old. This kind of thing is too mysterious. If I said it, people would think I was crazy. No one would believe it unless they saw it with their own eyes. It's like if I told you that Old Man Rokudo is still alive and watching you all the time. He even knows what you do every night. Would you believe it?"

Shanks said speechlessly, "If I had told the Third Hokage back then, whether he believed it or not, it would have been a spoiler, and spoilers are punishable by death for the whole family. I wouldn't do something so despicable. Even now, I doubt anyone would believe me."

805. The first time someone comes out, it's to fuck you.

"Do you even know what Madara's true purpose is? Destroying the ninja world wouldn't benefit him at all."

After stroking his chin, Hashirama Senju finished speaking. Based on his understanding of his best friend, he knew that his best friend's actions were far more complex than they appeared.

"I do know a little about this. When I first met him, he was probably older and not so sharp-minded, so he told me about his grand dream. The Uchiha clan's Mangekyou Sharingan has a genjutsu called Tsukuyomi, which takes a person's spirit into a mental space he creates. Everything there is under his control. Simply put, in the mental world, he is God... no! He is the ruler. Madara's goal is to create an even more powerful Infinite Tsukuyomi space, pulling everyone in the ninja world into that Tsukuyomi space. There, there is no fighting, men can like men, older men dating younger women is legal, and people can trust each other..."

Shanks recalled the dream that Madara had once boasted to him. His broken body exuded an overwhelming aura of arrogance. He truly was his idol!

"........."

Hashirama Senju and Tobirama Senju exchanged glances, and they both thought that this little rascal seemed to admire Madara quite a bit...

...........

Meanwhile, Itachi and Shanks were still rambling on and on over there, but Shanks couldn't be bothered to listen to their cheesy talk, mainly because it sounded awkward to outsiders.

However, the effect was quite obvious. Under Itachi's persuasive words, the second male lead finally realized that he had been fooled by the masked man, and that the will had been replaced by the masked man when he received his eye transplant.

After realizing what had happened, the second male lead hugged Itachi tightly again, recounting his recent experience of fighting with this guy and getting beaten up by him.

After dealing with the second male lead's matter, Hashirama Senju and the others didn't return. The corpses were created using Hashirama's cells, which could sustain them for a considerable time. Most importantly, Shanks didn't intend for them to leave. As former members of the ninja world, how could they not make some contribution? Even though they were already dead, it was like putting waste to good use...

"Sister Xiaochun, do you want me to help you get Brother Jing out too?"

Shanks whispered to Koharu Utatane, thinking that since they had already summoned three, they might as well summon more. That way, with someone protecting them during the battle, Konoha's losses shouldn't be too great...

"...No, people can't come back to life after they die, and they'll all have to leave someday."

Xiaochun, who was switching dorms, was somewhat tempted, but after thinking about it, she shook her head. Parting was too sad; if someone was destined to leave, it was better not to meet them at all.

"You're quite open-minded."

Shanks glanced at Koharu Utatane with surprise, thinking that the infatuated old woman would immediately agree.

.........

In the main hall of the Senju clan's territory, a place that had been rebuilt after the Nine-Tails' attack on the village, no one usually came except for the Uzumaki clan's matriarch who came to clean it every day. But today was different. The main hall was surrounded by Uzumaki clan members, who had come to pay homage to the First Hokage, the God of Shinobi. This was not like the rotten stone of the Hokage Rock; this was a living, talking, and moving figure.

"Hahaha! Five five six, big! I won again! Pay up now!"

"Damn it! Grandfather, are you cheating? How could you possibly win every time!"

"...Auntie, I've gambled away all my money, can you lend me some more..."

"Go ask Tsuruhime for it! I've lost quite a bit too."

"Place your bets quickly, the bigger the bet, the more you win..."

"........."

"Second Uncle, now you know how hard our family's life is, right? Tsunade and Garp can't even beat that old man with such terrible gambling skills..."

Shanks pointed helplessly at the three rookie gamblers in the distance and said, "These three great gamblers, the Senju family, are all unlucky. Hashirama Senju's gambling skills are already terrible, but compared to Tsunade and Garp, he's like a gambling god, winning money every time."

Tsunade has the nerve to accuse someone of cheating? If you gamble with someone, you can't lose even if you wanted to cheat...

"...Hey! Haruko, go get some paper and pen. I'll write some calligraphy and paintings while I still have time..."

Tobirama Senju sighed as he looked at the three gambling addicts and said to Haruko-sama.

"By the way, Second Uncle, they have the corpses of powerful figures from various villages. Do you have any way to free them from the control of the Impure World Reincarnation, like you have?"

"I asked Shanks."

"...Orochimaru perfected the Impure World Reincarnation technique quite well. My brother and I were able to break free from its control because there were always my brother's cells in the corpses. We were able to unleash ninety percent of our strength, exceeding Orochimaru's control. That's why my brother and I were able to forcibly break free from the Impure World Reincarnation's control. As for those people..."

Tobirama Senju didn't continue, but his meaning was clear: he and Hashirama Senju were powerful, and that was their power. But those who weren't as powerful as them had no way to break free from control and could only accept their fate.

"........"

Shanks looked up at the sky speechlessly. As expected of the King of Arrogance; just a casual remark filled the room with an aura of arrogance...

"Haha! Shanks, don't worry. If Madara is really resurrected by them using Edo Tensei, I'll talk to him. Maybe we can resolve this perfectly."

Hashirama Senju laughed loudly as he counted the money, as if it were no big deal to him.

"...You old bastard, when you call me, drop the little one first!"

This old bastard comes out calling me "Little Drunkard" and "Little Shanks," does he think I, one of the Four Emperors, have no dignity?

Do you think Uncle Ban would talk to you? The first thing he'd do when he comes out is to spit on you! Don't you have any idea how deeply you've hurt him?