Konoha Drunkard

Everyone seemed to hear a shattering sound. Gekko Hayate, clutching his chest with one hand and pointing a trembling finger at Uzuki Yugao, coughed incessantly after only a few words. Everyone worried that he might choke on some phlegm and die before he could cough it up...

"........."

Kakashi looked up at the sky speechlessly. How did things turn out like this, when they were fighting tooth and nail? Is it my fault I was so outstanding as a child...?

Something's not right...

Shanks, stroking his chin, also noticed a problem. He had originally intended for Naruto to talk down Obito, but the scene seemed to have turned into a rally to denounce the scumbag Kakashi, quite different from what he had envisioned. Naruto hadn't even finished speaking when everyone had already pushed Obito aside. This was extremely disadvantageous for Naruto. The current Naruto was very different from the original story. Although he had been a loser since childhood, his father, the "Yellow Flash," was still alive; who dared to disrespect him? Obito, on the other hand, had received some preferential treatment, graduating early like Kakashi, but everyone knew what kind of person he was. He was essentially ignored in the village. Their experiences seemed similar, but were actually vastly different. So, what could Naruto possibly use to talk him down? Shanks didn't know. What if he couldn't win Obito over? If he failed to convert Obito, Kakashi wouldn't be able to evolve into Uchiha Kakashi...

Just as Shanks was worrying, Naruto began his counterattack, blaming himself for being incredibly stupid as a child, taking months to learn the Three Body Technique and then forgetting it. He then went on to tell Obito how hard he worked to become Hokage—basically, a very cliché story of a second Hokage proving himself. However, interspersed throughout was a love triangle similar to Obito's, where the girl he fell for also loved a man she shouldn't have…

"This is supposed to be an action-packed movie? It's turned into a melodramatic soap opera..."

Shanks was incredibly impressed by Naruto's smooth talk; he could even find common ground in that.

"Oh... Uchiha Sasuke is a scumbag just like Kakashi!"

"No wonder Kakashi likes him so much, he even taught him his own creation, Chidori."

"The students will reflect the kind of teachers who lead them."

“Sasuke…”

Everyone looked at the second male lead, whose face looked ashen, and whispered amongst themselves as if afraid no one would hear them.

"Naruto, that bastard..."

The second male lead glared at Naruto, who was spitting out Obito's words, his face darkening. He wanted nothing more than to rush over and tell him to shut up. "You're just talking to him properly, why are you dragging me into this?"

"I never imagined Sasuke was like this when he was a child..."

Itachi looked at his younger brother, who was tightly clutching his fist, and thought to himself, "He's even willing to give up girls just to get revenge on me..." He also glanced around and, realizing that none of his fellow warriors seemed to be there, secretly breathed a sigh of relief...

It wasn't just Itachi who did this; even Shisui looked around to see if any of his contemporaries were there. If he were to be labeled a scumbag for no reason, just like Kakashi and Sasuke, who would he complain to?

Obito was also softened by Naruto's words and looked at Naruto, who was a generation younger than him, with sympathy. He couldn't believe that there was someone who shared the same emotional fate as him, and it seemed even more tragic than his own. Naruto was a second-generation fire elementalist, born to be a favored son of heaven, surrounded by girls. But unexpectedly, he ended up like Naruto, with the girl he liked falling in love with someone she shouldn't have. The contrast was even greater than his own. Obito and Naruto seemed to share a sense of camaraderie.

The two exchanged a glance, then put their arms around each other and turned to look at the bewildered Prince Ka and the male second lead who looked like he'd eaten shit.

"Their relationship seems to have improved..."

Everyone felt uneasy watching Naruto and Obito, who were arm in arm like buddies, especially since the two seemed to share a common enemy when facing Kakashi and the second male lead...

"......"

Ka and the second male lead exchanged a glance.

Kakashi: What do we do? Can you beat Naruto?

Male lead 2: It's a 50/50 situation. What about you? Can you handle your buddy?

Kaden: ..... It's basically a 50/50 chance.

...........

Shanks was shocked. This strongest ninjutsu in the ninja world was indeed amazing. Not only could it achieve victory without bloodshed, but it could also form an alliance with the opponent to achieve a shared hatred of the enemy. It was too unreal. He had watched this long battle of words from beginning to end. He had a clear memory of the beginning, the middle and the end. He believed that his verbal skills had reached the pinnacle. However, he definitely couldn't talk Tsuchiya out of the ground without using force.

Of all the verbal attacks, Naruto has a 9.5 out of 100.

Black Zetsu, watching from afar, was dumbfounded as he saw Obito and Naruto arm in arm. He had been on guard against everything, but he hadn't anticipated Naruto's involvement. He hadn't expected that besides Shanks, this Jinchuriki brat in Konoha would be so eloquent, even more so than Shanks. In just a short story, he had managed to "whitewash" Obito, who had been corrupted for over a decade. It was unbelievable. Seeing Madara, now with his ring eyes, relentlessly whipping Hashirama Senju with a black stick, Black Zetsu felt a surge of anxiety. The unsealing was right before his eyes, Madara hadn't been resurrected yet, and Obito had already been "whitewashed." This was going to be difficult. Shanks in Sage Mode was incredibly strong; he could beat Obito in pseudo-Six Paths Mode to a pulp. If he went after Madara now, his plans would be ruined.

829. The real Madara has been resurrected.

Black Zetsu was extremely anxious. Finally, as if he had made up his mind, he burrowed underground and quickly possessed Obito, who was still staring at Kakashi while dying alongside Naruto.

"Black Zetsu! What are you doing?"

Obito, now with his skin bleached, was already severely weakened and unable to break free from Black Zetsu's control. He was in a panic, having finally met a kindred spirit. He was still so young and wanted to have a long talk with Naruto about life and ideals.

"Obito, you've disappointed Madara greatly. You've been completely fooled by a mere brat. Rinne Rebirth Technique!"

Before anyone could react, Black Zetsu had already controlled Obito's body and completed the incredibly powerful resurrection technique of Madara. Because Obito was already low on health and had sacrificed his life to resurrect Madara, he didn't leave behind any last words that could be filmed for several episodes before closing his eyes and going to find his world, Rin.

The changes came too fast, like a tornado. One second he was arm in arm with his buddy, and now he was dead. Naruto was stunned, staring blankly at Obito lying dead on the ground. What happened? He had finally managed to defeat him, but he hadn't even gained any experience points, and now someone had stolen his kill. The more Naruto thought about it, the angrier he became. It was the first time he had ever had his kill stolen, and he couldn't describe how frustrating it was. He immediately transformed and chased after Black Zetsu.

“Obito...”

True friendship isn't about forever, but about the memories. Kakashi crouched beside Obito, cradling his body, his entire being radiating grief. Even the short people around him felt a pang of sadness. It turns out Kakashi wasn't without feelings, just that the object of his affections wasn't "her."

"Naruto!"

The second male lead seemed to be affected by Kakashi's sadness, and went after Naruto before Kushina and Minato could react.

"...Alas! What goes around comes around. No one escapes the wrath of Heaven. What goes around comes around. Obito has done so many heinous things over the years. Even if he were to clear his name, Heaven would not let him off the hook. It would be good enough if he could at least have a whole corpse."

Looking at Obito's corpse and sensing the grief of Kakashi and Minato, Shanks looked up at the sky and spontaneously made a small gesture.

"Grand Uncle, from which book did you copy this sentence?"

There are always people who can't stand Shanks showing off. For example, Garp, who has no culture, stares at Shanks's arrogant demeanor as if he's seen a ghost. He recounts his family's history, saying that the saying "a good man doesn't read books" started with his great-uncle. If you say he's speaking from the heart, he wouldn't believe it even if you beat him to death.

"boom!"

"You little brat, no one will think you're mute if you don't speak. Don't look at me, an extraordinary person, with the eyes of an ordinary person."

The show of force was shattered as Shanks punched Garp on the head. It seems that showing off is ultimately not his forte; every time he tries to put on a show, he gets interrupted.

........

The true Madara at his peak has returned, now sporting another ring eye. Madara, who already made Hashirama Senju question his existence with his black rods, is even more powerful now. Facing Naruto, the second male lead, and the trio of Hashirama Senju attacking him, he is not afraid at all, dodging left and right, occasionally unleashing a Sage Art to bombard Naruto. When Hashirama Senju comes, he is again dealt with by his black rods. The only exception is the second male lead, Madara, who never takes the initiative to attack. As a seasoned brother-complex, looking at the second male lead's pretty face, which has a 99.99999% resemblance to his younger brother Izumi, Madara can never bring himself to strike, always passively defending against the second male lead's various attacks, leaving those who do not know the inside story completely confused.

"Itachi, I don't suspect anything, but... Madara Uchiha seems to be taking special care of Sasuke. Could it be that Chief Fugaku is hiding something, like his biological father...?"

Shisui, somewhat embarrassed, asked Itachi beside him. After all, Madara showed no mercy to the First Hokage and Naruto, especially his best friend, who had several black rods stuck in his body, and Naruto had been kicked several times and was almost unable to get up. But the second male lead was still alive and kicking, without a single injury except for being soaked in sweat. It was too obvious that Madara had gone easy on him. In addition, the Uchiha circle had always been chaotic, so even Shisui, who was as innocent as a blank sheet of paper, couldn't help but think about those days.

"..."

Shanks glanced at Shisui in surprise. Good heavens, did Shisui guess something...?

"...Because Uchiha Sasuke looks very much like Madara's younger brother, Uchiha Nazuna, I think that's why Madara didn't make a move."

Tobirama Senju felt he needed to explain things to these kids; their imaginations were running wild. What if they started to fill in the gaps in their minds about the Senju clan...?

"⊙.⊙?? His brother?"

Everyone looked at Tobirama Senju with puzzled expressions, as if to say, "The camera is on you, please begin your performance."

"During the Warring States period, the Uchiha clan, like our Senju clan, had two great geniuses: Madara and his younger brother Nazuna. Madara and Nazuna's relationship was like that of the Uchiha brothers Itachi, or even deeper. Both of them awakened the Mangekyou Sharingan on the same day. Nazuna was also a person of amazing talent, known as a ninja with 'no flaws' at the time. This is why the Senju clan, with two strong people like me and my older brother, still could not defeat the Uchiha clan."

Senju Tobirama shamelessly indulged in self-congratulatory remarks.

"And then what?"

They could watch the live stream and listen to the stories. Seeing that Tobirama Senju looked like he wanted them to ask questions, everyone obliged and asked.

"In another great battle later, Izuna was seriously injured by me due to a moment of carelessness, and later died from his injuries. Then Madara..."

When Tobirama Senju mentioned that he had defeated Izumi Uchiha, he emphasized the moment, as if afraid that others would forget it. After all, it was one of the few highlights of his life, and he had to give it a good shout-out.

"Wow! Second Hokage is amazing! He actually managed to defeat the 'flawless' Uchiha Nazuna..."

They'd already heard the story, and it was told by someone as high-ranking as Tobirama Senju. If they let him be praised too much, it would be disrespectful. Didn't they see how the three giants of Konoha were looking at their teacher with such adoring eyes...?

"I never knew Madara Uchiha had this story. Sasuke Uchiha looks like his younger brother, but my Itachi is way more handsome than him..."

Kurotsuchi, standing next to Onoki, stared at Itachi with a lovestruck expression and drooling, leaning closer and closer to him.

"Heitu, calm down! Humans and ghosts are different, it won't end well. You little brat, stay away from my granddaughter."

Onoki grabbed Kurotsuchi and said, "You're such a disappointment," while glaring at Itachi. "That little rascal is a menace. Even in death, he's still causing trouble for my precious granddaughter."

830. The second male lead was almost scared to death.

"........."

Itachi looked up at the sky speechlessly. "I didn't offend you, did I? It's not my fault your granddaughter likes me, is it? Being handsome isn't something I can control, okay? I'm dead now, what can I do to your granddaughter... Hey! Girl, where are you touching...?"

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm telling you, Onoki, my precious disciple is dead. You should do some good deeds for your granddaughter. Besides, what era are we living in? Now we value freedom of love. What's wrong with a human-ghost relationship? As long as they love each other, a human-snake relationship is fine too. You're lucky to have such a great grandson-in-law as my precious disciple. Little sister, don't listen to your grandfather. He's such an old-fashioned guy. Big brother supports you. From now on, big brother will summon Itachi to Iwagakure every day to chat with you and cultivate your relationship."

Shanks gave Kurotsuchi a supportive smile and said.

"⊙O⊙!!"

Everyone was stunned, but upon reflection, it did seem to make some sense. Could humans and snakes really...?

But calling yourself "big brother" is a bit much, you're practically a grandfather already...

"-_-# Red-haired bastard, what did you say? Say it again if you dare!"

Upon hearing Shanks' words, Onoki's anger flared up. This bastard was trying to cut off his family's future. If he could tolerate this, he would truly become a ninja turtle!

"Fine, I'll say it. Do you think I'm afraid of you? You called my disciple a little rascal right in front of me. Do you think I'm dead? Come on, I wasn't satisfied with just now! Let's have another round!"

Shanks also rolled up his sleeves and gave Onoki a good scolding.

"Red-haired bastard, you're asking for it!"

"The word 'looking for shit' doesn't exist in my dictionary. Show me how you write it!"

"......"

The onlookers, seeing the two start hurling insults at each other, were speechless. "Why don't you just fight? What's the point of just talking?"

"Stop arguing! Look at the divine tree! It's getting bigger and bigger, let's cut it down first! Water Release: Water Severing Wave!"

With a dark expression, Tobirama Senju interrupted the two's verbal sparring. They had been talking non-stop without actually fighting. Pointing to the ever-growing Divine Tree, he took the lead and fired a powerful water gun at the tree.

"Grab your weapons and charge!"

"Kill them!"

Seeing their boss so fierce, a group of underlings grabbed their weapons and followed in his footsteps, throwing all sorts of ninjutsu at the divine tree without restraint.

"Uncle! Naruto's been attacked! You have to go help him!"

Just as Shanks was about to draw his sword and chop down the tree, Kushina said nervously.

"I know, I know. Your son is lucky and won't die. I'll be right there."

Shanks turned around and saw that Naruto had been blasted into a coma by Madara and couldn't get up, and Hashirama Senju was also stuck in a pincushion shape with black rods and couldn't move. Only the second male lead was still fighting Madara to a standstill...

..........

"Idol! To express my deepest respect for you! To honor a strongman like you! This sword strike is the culmination of my decades of understanding of the way of the sword! Face the wind! One-Sword Style... White Fang Flash!"