Konoha Drunkard

"Bang!" The iron spike struck Shanks, whose body was jet black and shiny, sending iron dust flying everywhere.

"The Kazekage's Iron Sand Attack was actually shattered?" A group of ninjas around gasped in shock!

"It's far inferior to the Tailed Beast Ball, you bastard Salai! I never expected that a village Kage like you would resort to robbery and plunder." Shanks's expression of utter disappointment ignited Salai's anger.

"Alright, Konoha's Red-Haired Shanks, you've seen Shukaku, now you can leave. Sunagakure doesn't welcome you!" Aunt Chiyo said sternly. She was truly afraid. She knew the power of the Sandstorm Iron Sand; she hadn't expected that when it hit Shanks, the iron spikes would shatter, while he remained unharmed. He truly was the man who, along with the Third Raikage, was considered the toughest in the ninja world...

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77. Haruko is pregnant, but the child might not be yours.

"Tch! Aunt Chiyo really doesn't mince words! She's so nervous about just chatting with a friend, really," Shanks retorted.

No one spoke; they stared intently at him.

"Alright, alright, I'll give Aunt Chiyo face today, bye-bye!" Shanks waved to the group of Sand Ninja.

The Third Kazekage, Sha Lie, stared intently at him, fearing he might cause some trouble again.

.........

Sure enough, the thing Sha Lie was worried about happened the next day.

"Shocking! The Third Kazekage, Saratsu, is actually this kind of person! He led people to rob Konoha villagers who were visiting the Sand Village!"

"Shocking! Sunagakure advisor Chiyo is having an affair with a much younger man, still obsessed with Konoha's White Fang for 20 years!"

"boom!"

"That bastard! I knew it wouldn't be good!" Inside the Wind Shadow Pavilion, the Third Wind Shadow, Sha Lie, slammed his fist hard on the table.

"Send a notice to Konoha and give us a reasonable explanation!" Aunt Chiyo's expression was also stern; that brat dared to slander her.

Especially when she thought about how her son had told her seriously last night that he didn't want another father his own age, Chiyo felt a sudden toothache. How could her son be so dense? Couldn't he see that it was a lie?

Now the entire ninja world thinks she's an old cow eating young grass. Thinking of this, Aunt Chiyo clenched her fists tightly and hated Shanks.

Not only did she hate Shanks, but in Konoha Village, in the Anbu chief's office, Hatake Sakumo, seeing the strange looks from the Anbu members and some of his friends, and Hiruzen Sarutobi's "I'm rooting for you" gaze, felt a surge of killing intent. After so many years of being best friends, Hatake Sakumo knew who had spread the news without even investigating.

"That bastard!"

..........

"Wow, I never thought that old hag Chiyo had been so infatuated with Sakumo-nii for so many years, and she still wouldn't come out!" The "gambling, prostitution, and drugs gang" was drinking and joking in the tavern, and Jiraiya was also surprised. He hadn't expected Sakumo, who was usually so quiet, to be so charming.

"Idiot!! This rumor is obviously false. Just like the Third Kazekage, Sara, robbing our Konoha villagers." Tsunade looked at Jiraiya's convinced expression and felt exhausted. How did this idiot even become a ninja?

"Then who do you think would be so bored as to do these things?" Jiraiya gave Tsunade a disdainful look...

"boom!"

"Damn it! Where are you looking?!" Tsunade punched him.

"Sigh! I think only the captain would be that bored." Orochimaru looked at the two people in front of him. One was a complete tomboy, and the other... ...was able to become a ninja because the overall quality of ninjas in the ninja world had generally declined in recent years.

...Just when everyone was speculating whether the Third Kazekage, Sarek, had really robbed the villagers of Konoha, and whether Chiyo was an old cow eating young grass.

Another message reached the ninja world: "The Third Kazekage, Sara, on behalf of Sunagakure, rebuked Konoha for allowing its villager, Shanks Uzumaki, to spread rumors and slander Sunagakure! He demanded that Konoha Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, give Sunagakure a reasonable explanation! Furthermore, he demanded that Konoha restrict Shanks' activities, forbidding him from entering the Land of Wind, even forbidding him from gold mining."

Now everyone understands. It's another masterpiece by Konoha's Shanks. It's amazing that even though Konoha's Shanks is no longer a ninja, his ability to create big news is still as outstanding as ever.

In the Hokage's office in Konoha, the four great leaders of Konoha were having a headache—no, it was three of them who were having a headache, Danzo was just pretending to have a headache.

"We can't let him cause any more trouble. Let's tell him to go back to the village." Koharu rubbed her head. "Right now it's just spreading rumors, but who knows if he'll run off to Iwagakure and fight Onoki later."

“The problem is, he’s a villager now, and we can’t order him around,” said Mitokado Homura, echoing Hiruzen Sarutobi’s thoughts.

"Sigh! But even if we bring him back, he'll be idle, which isn't a solution. He's not the type of person who can settle down," Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed.

Hiruzen Sarutobi rolled his eyes at Danzo. "Let him go to your Root? Even if it's just to train Root members, that's fine." Let him go and cause trouble for Danzo, so that Danzo won't have nothing better to do than think about wicked things all day.

Danzo's face turned truly dark this time. "No, he's not suitable for Root." If he were to come to Root, who knows if he would lead Root astray.

Koharu Utatane had a sudden inspiration, "How about this, since we didn't destroy his file, let him become a teacher at the Ninja Academy. As long as he doesn't run around, it'll be fine."

The three leaders' eyes lit up upon hearing this; indeed, women are quick-witted, especially unmarried women.

“How do we get him back? He won’t listen to us anymore,” Mitokado said.

"Have Tsunade use her summoning beast to tell him that Haruko is pregnant, and the child might not be his. Tell him to come back immediately!" Hiruzen Sarutobi said ominously.

The other three stared in disbelief at their best friend, never imagining that their childhood best friend would be like this.

"Ahem...we'll talk about it when he gets back..." Hiruzen Sarutobi said awkwardly. Who told this kid to be such a blabbermouth, saying whatever comes to mind? Now he'll have to experience it for himself.

......

Shanks had already reached the border of the Flower Country. Although the technology tree in the Naruto world was a bit off track, there were advantages to it. There was no environmental pollution. The Flower Country was a bit small, but it was full of birdsong and fragrant flowers, even more beautiful than Konoha.

"boom!"

Shanks had just sat down to admire the scenery when Miss Slug suddenly appeared on his shoulder.

"Hey, Miss Slug, what brings you here?"

Miss Slug said softly, "Shanks, Tsunade asked me to inform you that Haruko might be pregnant, but the child might not be yours. She wants you to go back immediately!"

"Holy crap! How is this possible! (⊙_⊙?)" Shanks jumped up, his mouth saying he didn't believe it, but his body was very obedient.

←↓→↑←↓→↓→.

The next moment, he appeared in Haruko's office at Konoha Hospital! No one was there. He activated his Observation Haki to its fullest extent and discovered Haruko examining a patient. He found no signs of life in the abdomen! Shanks breathed a sigh of relief.

"Which bastard came up with this terrible idea?" Shanks cursed under his breath. Tsunade had a talent for this kind of thing. Jiraiya? Hiruzen Sarutobi? These two names popped into Shanks' mind. In the end, Shanks would definitely think of Hiruzen Sarutobi, that big smoker.

He rushed angrily towards the Hokage Building.

"Bang!" That's it, door!

"Speak, what do you want me to come back for? I never expected that the Hokage would resort to such underhanded methods." Shanks entered the Hokage Building intending to berate Hiruzen Sarutobi, but seeing that several clan heads were having a meeting, he decided to give Hiruzen some face.

When Hiruzen Sarutobi saw him return, he didn't care that there were still some clan leaders around who were arguing and lying through their teeth. "After discussing with Lord Mito, we have decided that you will report to the Ninja Academy starting tomorrow and temporarily serve as a teaching teacher. You will start serving as a homeroom teacher next year!"

"What?! Are you kidding me? Or did I hear you wrong? You want me to be a teacher? Teach what? Drinking or hacking people?" Shanks was speechless!

"No matter what you teach, go to school tomorrow! Lord Mito also hopes you can contribute to the village." Hiruzen Sarutobi puffed on his opium, completely disregarding the feelings of everyone present, making the office look like a fairyland.

"...You're ruthless!" Shanks said fiercely before storming out of the office in a huff!

The current family head is starting to plan ahead: next year, he'll get one of the family's children into Shanks' class. It doesn't matter if they're not taught well; having this connection is enough.

78. What do I teach? "Please subscribe. Please subscribe yourself."

Shanks had originally planned to travel the world, but he was brought back by Hiruzen Sarutobi in less than half a year.

"Beautiful lady, my cousin Kurama, I'm back!" Shanks arrived at Mito's house.

Mito was playing with Nawaki, who was having a tantrum, and the two-year-old Nawaki started running all over the house. "Little...Uncle!"

Shanks picked up Nawaki and couldn't resist pinching his chubby cheeks. "Get rid of that kid! Nawaki is getting cuter and cuter!"

"I wish I could have one myself. I remember our promise. Now Nawaki is almost three years old, and Haruko's belly still hasn't shown any signs of pregnancy," Mito muttered to herself.

Shanks rambled on, "Aunt, these things depend on fate, you know. Uncle is probably still waiting in line to be reincarnated. When he's done, Haruko will probably be pregnant."

"Haha! If that's the case, wouldn't Hashirama have to call me 'Grandma'?" Mito was amused by Shanks.

"He called you 'Grandma' quite a few times, didn't he... By the way, Auntie, why did you agree to let that perverted old man Hiruzen Sarutobi let me become a teacher at the school?" Shanks slapped away Nawaki's hand that reached out to touch his chest. Damn it, every generation of the Hokage faction has a pervert?

“It’s good that you’re going to be a teacher. You can train some new people for Konoha. Hiruzen is right. You should keep a low profile in the village for a few years. Once your fame has died down, you can come out as a ninja. By then, not many people will remember you,” Mito said.

"Unless Kirigakure is restored, I estimate they'll remember this for hundreds of years." Shanks pouted.

Why are Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju forever remembered? Besides their immense strength, it's because of the battlefield where they fought one-on-one...

Why is the Third Raikage remembered? It's because he fought the Eight-Tails hand-to-hand and single-handedly defeated ten thousand Iwa ninja.

From then on, whenever anyone saw the river in the middle of Kirigakure, they would think of Shanks, the Red-Haired Vortex of the Four Emperors, who was incredibly powerful, could defeat anything, and was extremely arrogant.

“Your task now is to have my children, or you’re not going anywhere,” Mito threatened him.

"Okay, okay, I'll try to have two kids in three years, give you a whole litter," Shanks said helplessly.

Mito rolled his eyes at him.

The next day, Shanks, wearing a white shirt, floral pants, and a pair of wooden clogs, arrived at the entrance of the Ninja Academy, looking like he was there for a visit.

It's still that big tree, still that old man lying there, still that figure.

"Perverted teacher!!!" The echoes reverberated throughout the school.

Hiroto Sarutobi, who was resting with his eyes closed, was startled!

"Oh, Shanks, you've arrived! I came especially to greet you!" Hiroshi Sarutobi said shamelessly.

"If it weren't for the sleep in your eyes, I would have believed you," Shanks pursed his lips. "Well, how could I trouble you? I'll be working for you from now on. Here! Made from the sands of the Land of Wind, 24K pure gold!" Shanks handed him a pair of nunchucks made from the sands of the Land of Wind, asking him to teach him when he had time. The barely-handsome young man from over a decade ago was now almost a fat vulture of Konoha.

"Hahaha, you're too kind!" Sarutobi Hiroshi laughed loudly as he took the nunchucks made of pure gold.

"Alright. I'll take you to your office."

"I actually have my own office? That's pretty good pay!" Shanks chuckled.

"Haha, of course, you're a big shot, after all. Some teachers wouldn't be comfortable with you, would they? Your office used to be mine." Sarutobi Hiroshi said smugly.

"Haha, I couldn't possibly accept that." That's what she said, but her expression showed no sign of embarrassment whatsoever.

The two arrived at a huge office occupied by a group of teachers.

The huge office was occupied by everyone except for a few empty seats.

"Clap clap! This guy!" Hiroshi Sarutobi clapped his hands as he brought Shanks in.

A group of teachers looked over, staring in surprise at the figure beside Sarutobi Hiroshi.

"This one needs no introduction, he's my former student, now the famous Red-Haired Konoha, and will be the teacher of Class 6-A starting today." Hiroshi Sarutobi deliberately emphasized "my former student" when introducing him, looking quite proud.

"Ah, greetings, Lord Shanks!"

"Wow, Lord Shanks is here to be a teacher! Those students are so lucky!"

"..."

A group of Chunin teachers chimed in, each offering their own opinion.