Konoha Drunkard

"Haha, it's just that I'm not used to sleeping without you next to me..." Shanks didn't find it cheesy at all.

Haruko rolled her eyes... then looked at her children and smiled, "Aren't they adorable!"

"Hmm, just as cute as you were when you were little, haha!" Shanks said, looking at Big Mom.

I always feel like I chose a bad name; the image of an old monster from an anime keeps popping into my head...

93. I miss you all so much! (Please subscribe!)

Since the birth of his daughter, Big Mom, Shanks took a three-month paid maternity leave, spending his days watching... Linlin being held by Mito.

Linlin has a wonderful personality; she lets everyone hold her and never cries or fusses. Shanks even wondered if he'd named her the wrong person—that she should be called Otohime. He just doesn't know if she has the talent Shanks possesses from the One Piece world. Shanks suspects she might not, since his daughter is now practically a native of the Naruto world, and inheriting his Uzumaki clan bloodline is already quite an achievement. Shanks' Uzumaki clan genes are incredibly strong. However, seeing her black hair, he realized Haruko's genes are just as powerful.

Three months later, Shanks returned to the academy, where his personal lackey, Kamezaburo, taught for the past three months. Kamezaburo was kind, caring, and responsible, but lacked talent and would remain a Chunin for eternity. He would eventually follow Iruka's path of discovery, but he wasn't as lucky as Iruka to eventually become the headmaster.

"Hey, Lord Shanks, congratulations!"

"Lord Shanks is back from his vacation? Congratulations! The little princess is so cute."

"Hahaha! Thank you. I'll treat you to the biggest private room at the Akimichi family's place tonight. Everyone should come and give me face!" Shanks said generously.

"Haha, I couldn't possibly accept that, I'll definitely be there!"

"........"

Shanks received congratulations from all the teachers along the way! Finally, he returned to his office, sat down, and picked up a book titled "108 Ways to Get Along with Your Daughter!" While the writers in the Naruto world have somewhat skewed talents, they're quite reliable when it comes to educating daughters. Tsunade's mother, the eldest princess of the Land of Fire, is a prime example—she has a good personality and is gentle, completely different from his current daimyo brother. The current daimyo inherited his father's vices of drinking, gambling, and womanizing, always covering half his face with a small fan, looking all shy. Shanks always wanted to slap him awake... Are you even a man?!

Shanks hadn't been watching for long when his lackey, Kame Saburo, walked in, excitedly saying, "Lord Shanks, the Hokage has ordered his three disciples to select three students from the school to teach tomorrow, and we first-year students want to participate too!"

"Tch! That's the Hokage's old trick. Don't get too excited. The people are all pre-selected..." Shanks said disdainfully.

"Huh? Lord Shanks, are there any candidates in our class?" After all, Kame Saburo was just a commoner and had no access to such core information.

"Yes, probably only one. My niece Tsunade probably won't choose anyone; she's just here to supervise Nawaki!" Shanks thought for a moment.

A few days ago, Orochimaru found him and told him about this. In order to prevent Jiraiya from getting close to Nawaki, he offered 300cc of his own health as a trade, asking Orochimaru to teach Nawaki.

However, Jiraiya hasn't chosen anyone yet, and he's lost on the path to finding the Chosen One. That toad who's lived for over a thousand years has been deceiving him, saying that his disciple will be the Chosen One, but he hasn't given him a specific timeframe, so now everyone seems like the Chosen One to him.

However, Shanks believed that after Jiraiya appeared, he and Minato would inevitably meet by fate. It was all arranged by Kishimoto, the world's biggest behind-the-scenes boss; how could a mere tax-evading transmigrator like himself possibly decide?

"I'll go to class this afternoon. You should go home and rest. Aunt Saori has been looking for me lately. If you don't go home, all the blind dates she arranged for you will fall through," Shanks said to Kamezaburo.

"Ah! Yes, then thank you for your trouble, Lord Shanks." Kame Saburo lowered his head, straightened his chest, tucked in his stomach, and lifted his buttocks.

......

During the afternoon class, Shanks arrived at the classroom. After six months of Shanks's "training," the group of kids had finally learned the habit of returning to their seats and sitting properly in class.

"Hello everyone! I've missed you all so much in three months!" Shanks burst in, laughing heartily.

"..." A group of little kids indicated they didn't want him.

"You well-informed people have heard about it, right? Tomorrow, our Hokage's three disciples, the 'Gambling, Prostitution, and Drug Squad,' are coming to the school to select students. Aren't you excited? Aren't you thrilled?" Shanks said, feigning excitement.

"Yes!" The little kid was fairly cooperative.

“…” Nara Shikaku suddenly had another ominous premonition.

"Well, to celebrate our long-awaited reunion, and also to wish that someone from our class will be selected for 50 laps around the practice track after school tomorrow, Hizashi-kun, who is today's class monitor?"

The students below didn't think much of 50 laps, but today's class monitor, Ding, was green with envy.

"Teacher, today's class monitor is Dingza," said Hizashi.

"Well then, Dingza, I'll have to trouble you after school. It's really fate that we met. I made a big deal for your family tonight, so you're the class monitor today," Shanks said with a smile.

“…” Nara Shikaku’s premonition was indeed correct.

"Alright, now gather at the practice field. You better perform well tomorrow. If you embarrass me, I won't give you any face either..." Shanks said in a sinister tone.

"Understood!" The group of kids felt a chill and immediately straightened up.

Shanks is now under a big tree in the practice field, watching a group of little kids standing in line.

"Today we'll practice physical skills. Two people per team, losers will spar with losers, and winners with winners. The final winner will be recommended to the 'Gambling, Prostitution, and Drugs Gang.' And the final loser... he'll treat the whole class to dinner tomorrow night," Shanks said after thinking for a moment.

"Teacher, what if the loser doesn't have that much money!" Kushina began to speak up for Minato.

"That's no problem. Teacher has plenty of ingredients here, and you don't need to treat us. You can just help with the grilling. But Kushina, is this really okay? I'm your uncle, and you're already siding with outsiders. It hurts my feelings." Shanks pretended to be very sad.

"Hahaha!" A group of kids joined in the commotion; their favorite part was when Shanks teased Minato and Kushina.

"Uh (⊙o⊙)... I'm fine, Kushina, don't worry." The warm-hearted Minato rubbed the back of his head and smiled at Kushina.

"Who...who was worried about you?" Kushina's face was flushed, looking like a timid little wife.

"Ahem! Okay, enough with the lovey-dovey stuff. Let's start the draw!" Shanks rolled his eyes at the two of them.

In the first group, Hiashi met Yamanaka Inoichi, which was not unexpected. The descendants of Otsutsuki Hamura are not to be underestimated, even though it is now the world where Otsutsuki Hagoromo is in charge.

A set of Hyuga's Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms was used to take away Yamanaka Inoichi, a mental magic apprentice.

"Hey, I remember your father's physical skills are pretty good. You're not at the age where you should be researching your family's secret techniques yet," Shanks advised his future father-in-law, a scholar.

"Yes, teacher, I will practice my physical skills diligently." Wenru's father-in-law was a good child, humbly accepting instruction.

94. Tsunade only knows how to use steel, damn it! (Requesting first subscription, requesting further subscriptions)

The second group consisted of two ordinary children, essentially a novice's duel. However, one of them clearly practiced martial arts regularly, while the other couldn't hold on for more than ten rounds.

"Not bad. It's obvious that you practice taijutsu often. You're too focused on the movements of taijutsu. A strong body is the foundation of steel fist fluid taijutsu, which is different from the Hyuga clan's Gentle Fist. So you should train your body more in the future."

"Yes, teacher!" Gong Mu bowed at a ninety-degree angle.

“Well, you’re the kind of person who hasn’t decided whether to practice taijutsu or ninjutsu. What I want to tell you is that taijutsu and ninjutsu are equally important. They will have different effects depending on who you use them on. So your current chakra level doesn’t support you practicing ninjutsu. You might as well practice taijutsu.”

"Yes, teacher!" Another ninety-degree bow.

The third group, consisting of Kushina and a commoner, was not interesting; everyone was stunned by the way Kushina's hair stood up.

In the fourth group, Minato faced Sarutobi Hiruzen's nephew, Sarutobi Sin-dong. However, Sarutobi Sin-dong's talent was mediocre. The Sarutobi family members were all short in stature and didn't have any special skills, except for the top-ranked Jonin.

Minato used a set of Konoha Fluid Techniques to take him down. Shanks glanced at Kushina. Konoha Fluid Techniques weren't widespread yet. How could Minato, a commoner, possibly know the Konoha Fluid Techniques developed by Tobirama Senju? Moreover, he saw some resemblance to the Naruto version of Finger Pistol that Kushina had asked Haruko for.

Shanks has developed some Naruto-style Four Powers, but aside from Shave and Moonwalk, the other two are practically useless to him. He doesn't need Paper Drawing; he doesn't even use his most powerful Observation Haki anymore, so what's the point of Paper Drawing? Finger Pistol isn't even as powerful as his Super Strength. He usually only uses it to beat up Nawaki. As for the other techniques like Iron Body and Tempest Kick, he has no idea how to develop them. It's all because he didn't pay enough attention when he first watched the tutorials.

When he first developed the Four Styles, Shave and Moon Walk were beyond the capabilities of any ninja in this world. Even the Uchiha clan, who could copy his Shave, couldn't execute it. Imagine Madara Uchiha stomping the ground more than 10 times in 0.36 seconds—his legs would be crippled first. So he simply recorded the Finger Pistol and the paper drawing and gave it to Haruko to keep safe.

"Minato's taijutsu is good, but your body doesn't allow you to practice Finger Gun yet. So you can try using chakra to replace the power mentioned in Finger Gun, but you have to control the amount of chakra, otherwise your fingers will be ruined."

"Yes, teacher." Minato awkwardly scratched his head. He hadn't expected that his deliberate attempt to hide his finger gun movements would still be discovered.

When Kushina gave him the finger gun and paper drawing practice methods, she said they were given to him by Aunt Haruko. He knew they were developed by Shanks-sama. He glanced at them curiously and was attracted by the novel moves. He had some understanding of the finger gun, although he probably couldn't really do it. Even though he couldn't, he was still intimidated by the power of the finger gun while practicing. It was more powerful than wielding a kunai, but it was very difficult to master. He had no clue about the paper drawing; he didn't even know what the movements or airflow were.

"Zhihui, we can't find out about your situation and Haiyi's situation. It would be good to practice your physical skills while we can't have too much contact with the family's little bugs."

"Yes, teacher," the gangster said, pushing up his glasses and pants.

The rest are mostly children from various clans who don't focus on taijutsu (physical combat). After all, kids are attracted to flashy ninjutsu; whether they can kill or not, looking cool is for life...

In the end, the winner was the nation's father-in-law, Hiashi; the second place went to the warm-hearted Minato; and the third place was the tragic Hizashi.

When Minato and Hiyori clashed, Hiyori was eliminated by Minato's chakra-based finger gun. However, Minato also suffered the damage of a swollen index finger. Fortunately, Hiyori didn't use too much chakra, otherwise his finger would have exploded. This is a typical case of insufficient chakra control. In the end, Hiyori also lost to the "National Father-in-Law" because he couldn't use the finger gun.

Fourth is the chubby Dingza. Although he can only multiply his palm, for a group of little kids, facing a palm that is more than two meters big, he can hit it every time. He is practically a father. In the end, he was defeated by the tragic Hishashi who sealed his chakra in advance.

Needless to say, the last place went to Nara Shikaku, who has plenty of money and surrendered decisively.

Shanks is now in a real bind. What is he going to do about being the nation's number one father-in-law? What should Tsunade teach him? Tai Chi? Even any random clan would be fine, but who knew the Hyuga clan would be the least suitable...

"Damn, no wonder the Hyuga dared to compete with the Uchiha for the title of Konoha's number one clan after the Senju fell. Putting everything else aside, their Gentle Fist is practically god-like in the academy." Shanks rubbed his temples.

"Hiashi-kun, can we change the conditions I mentioned before? Tsunade can't teach you Gentle Fist, and she only knows Steel Fist!" Shanks looked at the nation's father-in-law with a headache.

"Haha!" A group of kids were delighted to see Shanks get his comeuppance, but they thought it made sense. Princess Tsunade really only knew how to fight head-on and couldn't teach Hiashi anything.

"Um... how about... just forget about it?" The nation's father-in-law was also frustrated. Of course, he wanted to be taught by the "gambling, prostitution, and drugs gang," but the problem was that his expertise was not relevant.

"How can we let it go? Your teacher is a famous man in the ninja world who keeps his word and is honest and trustworthy. Here's what we'll do: your teacher owes you a favor. Go back and talk to your father. Whenever you want to come find me, anything that doesn't harm Konoha is fine, even killing the Hokage is acceptable." Shanks raised an eyebrow.

"...Is this supposed to not harm Konoha?" A group of kids were speechless.

"As expected, he's unreliable..." Nara Shikaku thought to himself.

"Yes, teacher." The nation's father-in-law was thrilled; he was sure his father would give him a huge thumbs-up when he got back...

"So, if Minato, who came in second, isn't chosen tomorrow, I'll have Tsunade teach you. Don't let her unreliability fool you; she's got real strength," Shanks said to Minato. However, Shanks felt it wasn't necessary. Kishimoto, to keep his scheme going, would probably draw Jiraiya taking Minato as his disciple anyway. What? Let Shanks ruin the plot? Dude! This isn't part of the plot; it's drawn by the World Emperor Kishimoto. He's not an artist... We have to give the World Emperor some face. What if he kills Nawaki later...?

......

The next day, when Shanks arrived at school, he saw the "gambling, prostitution, and drugs gang" standing at the gate in various poses. Tsunade had her arms crossed, making her breasts appear quite full. Jiraiya leaned against the school gate with his hands in his pockets, fiddling with something inside, his eyes occasionally glancing at Tsunade's chest. Orochimaru, of course, was a quiet, handsome man, but his eyes were closed, and it was unclear what he was thinking.

"Hey, what are you 'gambling, prostitution, and drug gang' doing gathered at our school gate today? Collecting protection money?" Shanks joked.

"Bang!" Tsunade gave Jiraiya a routine punch on the head.

"You know perfectly well why you're asking. Let's go, don't waste my time. I have a feeling I'm going to wreak havoc today!" Tsunade said, her resolute tone and murderous gaze mirroring her daily routine before entering the gambling den.

"I hope you don't drag Rope Tree's share into this mess; the Thousand Hands' future depends on him! Amen." Shanks looked up at the sky.

95. Transforming into a host, pleading for first-time subscriptions and further subscriptions.

When the four arrived at the school's practice field, all the students had already gathered there, and Shanks went up to the podium to give a speech.

"Cough... um!... Ah!" Shanks cleared his throat.

"..." The students below seemed to be hitting him.

Rope Tree covered his face. "Can you be a little more reliable?!"

In the Hokage's office, Hiruzen Sarutobi, standing in front of the crystal ball, really wanted to punch someone. Couldn't he be a little more reliable?

"Hello everyone, welcome to the Konoha 'Gambling, Prostitution, and Drug Squad' talent selection arena. Today, because of your great and wise Hokage, to show his care and encouragement for you, he has sent his three disciples, the infamous 'Gambling, Prostitution, and Drug Squad' of Konoha, to the school to select those among you whom they are satisfied with and find pleasing to the eye, to be taught individually for a week." Shanks paused here, looking at the group of incredibly excited kids below.

Hiruzen Sarutobi in the Hokage's office felt a surge of satisfaction upon hearing Shanks' words.

However, Tsunade behind him seemed ready to fight. What did "gambling, prostitution, and drugs gang" mean?

"Now, let me introduce you to the members of the 'Gambling, Prostitution, and Drugs Squad.' My disciple on my left, the beautiful and charming Tsunade, is one of Konoha's two most powerful members. Princess Tsunade possesses unparalleled medical ninjutsu and chakra control. Her powerful punches and Tenshu Kicks, combined, can create earth-shattering effects, exuding overwhelming aura. She graduated at age 7, became a Chunin at age 8, and a Jonin at age 14. She has completed 250 D-rank missions, 106 C-rank missions, 125 B-rank missions, 177 A-rank missions, and 49 S-rank missions." Shanks only mentioned the good aspects of Tsunade when introducing her; her overwhelming aura was simply that of a violent, tough woman.

After Shanks introduced Tsunade, a group of girls below looked at her with sparkling eyes, turning into a fan club.