Konoha Drunkard

"Uh, where's the one in the middle...?"

As soon as Jiraiya heard Shanks introduce himself, he immediately dropped his lewd posture, straightened his back, pulled in his stomach, and lifted his buttocks. He had heard Shanks praise Tsunade so highly, so wouldn't he be even more impressive when it was his turn!

"Although he looks a bit sleazy and is rather lecherous, he's still incredibly powerful. He's one of our Konoha's two top fighters, Jiraiya. He has decent taijutsu, passable fire release techniques, and some good sage techniques. He graduated at 7, became a Chunin at 8, and a Jonin at 17. He completed 569 D-rank missions, 369 C-rank missions, 169 B-rank missions, 169 A-rank missions, and 49 S-rank missions." After Shanks finished introducing him, Jiraiya slumped slightly...

Shanks would never praise him; that's a joke. He's not even related to Shanks, and he even led Nawaki astray, although Nawaki also bears some responsibility...

"Next up is Shanks! Our Konoha's genius scientist, biologist, inventor, and Konoha's double red stick, Orochimaru! Data shows he knows over a thousand ninjutsu. He also holds a perfect score plus one point in the Ninja Academy's written theory exam. He graduated at age 7, became a Chunin at age 8, and a Jonin at age 14. He completed 250 D-rank missions, 106 C-rank missions, 125 B-rank missions, 177 A-rank missions, and 49 S-rank missions. His ever-changing ninjutsu will leave you breathless. With his quiet personality and handsome appearance, he's practically the perfect partner for any Konoha girl." Shanks' mouth was dry from blowing so much that he stopped to take a sip of water.

All the boys below looked at Orochimaru with excitement, and even some of the girls looked over with blushing faces.

Jiraiya glared angrily at Orochimaru. Why, why was Orochimaru being praised so highly, while he himself had always been described as "not bad, not bad, not bad"? He suspected that Orochimaru and Shanks had some kind of shady deal going on.

"Idiot." Orochimaru said helplessly, sensing Jiraiya's actions.

Orochimaru knew that Shanks' personality had always been like this, but why didn't Jiraiya, that idiot, know it after all these years?

"Alright, that concludes the introductions. They have their own methods for selecting people. It's not surprising that they chose you just because they liked you. Fate is a complicated thing. Now, Tsunade, you can begin," Shanks said to Tsunade.

Tsunade was getting impatient with her research. If it weren't for her uncle speaking up, she would have left without giving him any face.

Tsunade glanced at the little brats below and said indifferently, "None of them are pleasing to the eye."

Then she stood aside, took out the Jonin gift Shanks had given her, and went to play with it herself. That's so Tsunade.

However, the girl below looked disappointed. The atmosphere became somewhat awkward.

"Haha, Princess Tsunade is indeed true to her nature, a real woman among men, so forthright! Then next up is Jiraiya." Shanks stepped in as host to save the day.

Jiraiya carefully looked around at everyone, scratching his head. He had originally wanted to choose Nawaki, since they were good friends, but he gave up after thinking about Tsunade's iron fist. After looking for a long time, he saw a blond guy chatting and laughing with a violent girl from the Uzumaki clan, and he looked on with envy. "Are kids these days so good at picking up girls? He can even flirt with a violent girl from the Uzumaki clan!" Suddenly, an idea struck him. "I can teach him True Feeling for a week, and then have him teach me this technique! I'm such a genius!" After thinking about it, Jiraiya walked up to Minato Namikaze and patted him on the shoulder. "Kid, I knew we were meant to be the same person the moment I saw you. You're the one."

"Uh (⊙o⊙)..." Minato was dumbfounded. He hadn't held out much hope when he saw Tsunade hadn't chosen anyone, but who knew that Jiraiya would actually choose him. He didn't believe Shanks's claim that this man was perfect in every way; after all, he was the Hokage's disciple, it was impossible for him not to be exceptionally talented.

"No way, you can't teach Minato! Tsunade will teach him, right? Tsunade!" Kushina was unhappy. How could she let a lecher teach Minato?

Tsunade helplessly covered her forehead. She knew this would happen. Kushina had been pestering her all night, and she only let her go after she promised to teach Minato if no one else chose him.

"Haha, Kushina, you can't be so rude. Thank you, Jiraiya-sama. I'm willing to learn from you," the good boy Minato Namikaze replied.

"Hmph! You lecherous devil, you're dead if you dare to raise Minato like this!" Kushina's red hair stood on end as she glared fiercely at Jiraiya.

"Ahem! What are you doing, little girl? I'm a genius, after all! Don't worry, I'll teach your little boyfriend properly." Jiraiya teased her one last time.

"Hmph!" Kushina blushed and snorted coldly when she heard Jiraiya tease her little boyfriend, and then fell silent.

"Alright, Jiraiya has chosen the sunny and warm-hearted Minato Namikaze. His golden hair, gentle smile, and handsome face that could make any girl blush are like the warm sunshine in the dead of winter." Shanks praised Minato Namikaze like a madam.

A group of kids looked up at the sky speechlessly, "Are you arranging a blind date for me...?"

Shanks ignored the kids below and continued, "Next up is our genius scientist, biologist, and inventor, the cold-blooded Orochimaru! Who will he choose next? To find out, stay tuned for the next episode!"

96. Rope Tree is courting disaster: "Please subscribe and get your first order!"

"Next up is Konoha's genius scientist, biologist, inventor, the legendary Orochimaru, the cold-blooded king." Shanks winked at Orochimaru.

The kids below got excited and all looked at Orochimaru. A few of the bolder girls were flashing electric shocks at him, boasting about knowing thousands of ninjutsu. They didn't know anything about scientists or biologists, but it sounded pretty impressive.

Orochimaru wasn't into any suspense games; he simply glanced coldly at Nawaki, who was flirting with the second male lead's mother, and said, "Nawaki!"

Meanwhile, Nawaki is using the flirting techniques taught by Shanks to woo the second male lead's mother, who is blushing from time to time as Nawaki flirts with her.

Suddenly, he heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw Orochimaru staring at him blankly. He asked, "Orochimaru-san, what's wrong?"

Orochimaru, unusually, had a well appear on his forehead. He turned to look at Jiraiya and thought, "What an idiot!"

Jiraiya was bewildered by Orochimaru's gaze, and suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head.

"boom"

Jiraiya falls perfectly to the ground!

Tsunade, furious, roared at her younger brother, "Get out here right now!"

Nawaki smacked his head and obediently rolled over to stand behind Tsunade.

Shanks looks up at the sky and says, "Young man, you've never died, have you? Why did you have to flirt with the second male lead's mother? Kishimoto, the great emperor, has no choice but to draw you to death!"

Shanks truly admires those geniuses who can change the plot at will. They can even make Kishimoto, the Emperor, change his mind and not kill off any characters, only a bunch of minor characters. And then there are those who could have made Kishimoto kill off Danzo from the very beginning. Kid, did you buy Kishimoto some QQ coins?!

"Alright, apart from our Princess Tsunade, the other two Double Flower Red Sticks have all chosen their people. Today's program should end here and we should say goodbye to the students! Those of you who weren't chosen, don't be disappointed. Everyone's fate is different. As long as you work hard, you will all have a place in the ninja world." Shanks gave the somewhat downcast kids a final word of encouragement, as if reciting a lesson.

After they dispersed, Tsunade continued playing dice under the big tree, while Jiraiya and Minato, arm in arm, were talking about something. Judging from Jiraiya's sleazy appearance, nothing good was coming. Nawaki, standing in front of Orochimaru, looked completely bewildered.

Shanks returned to his office to continue reading his guide to raising daughters, "108 Ways to Get Along with Your Daughter." He then let Kamezaburo teach the classes from then on, since Kamezaburo was better at teaching the material from first to fifth grade. For sixth grade, Shanks would continue to impart his experience of navigating the ninja world.

The next day, Shanks wanted to sleep in while holding Haruko, who was breastfeeding and had been cared for by Tsunade at the hospital.

He was woken up by a red-haired girl. The little girl was not embarrassed at all when she saw Shanks holding Haruko while they slept. "Uncle, go and bring Minato back so you can teach him. Jiraiya is such a lecherous bastard and he's not reliable at all!" Kushina grabbed Shanks' hand and tried desperately to pull him off the bed.

"Miss, it's only the first day, how do you know he's unreliable? Besides, shouldn't you be at school?" Shanks said helplessly as Haruko pushed him out.

“I saw it all. Jiraiya was whispering to Minato, I don’t know what they were saying, but it didn’t look like they were giving each other a lecture. Also, I’ve asked Takenaka-sensei for a week off,” Kushina said.

Shanks looked at her and said helplessly, "Sigh! It'll be a week later. If I go get it now, won't that be discouraging Jiraiya? Besides, Jiraiya is reliable in a pinch, isn't he?"

"No way, who knows what he'll turn Minato into in a week." Kushina refused to listen.

"Don't worry about that. How could the future husband I chose for you be corrupted by Jiraiya? He's not that kind of person. Don't you trust Minato, or don't you trust your own charm?" Shanks asked.

"How could that be? Okay, but Uncle, you'll have to teach Minato in a week!" Kushina's tail peeked out.

“Alas! All my skills are gifts from our clan. The only thing I can teach him is ninjutsu. He only knows water jutsu, which counters my abilities, but he only knows wind jutsu. How can I teach him?” Shanks said.

"Then why can he learn that finger gun that Aunt Haruko gave me last time?!" Kushina wasn't so easily fooled and frantically winked at Haruko.

Aren't women in love supposed to be idiots? How come this girl is so hard to fool? Shanks looks up at the sky!

"Since Kushina has said so, why don't you teach Minato? After all, Kushina is your niece, and you must be bored at school," Haruko said to Shanks after getting a look from Kushina.

"Alright, but let's talk about it in a week. If he doesn't improve much after a week of following Jiraiya, then I'm even less able to teach him. Although Jiraiya's strength isn't that great right now, his teaching skills are still very impressive." Shanks said, looking up at the sky. He still had to give Haruko face; she hadn't asked him for anything in all these years, and she had just given him a daughter who was one of the Four Emperors.

Kushina was highly skeptical of Shanks's statement, "Is that lecherous guy really that good?"

"Of course! Have I, your uncle, ever lied to you?" Nonsense! How could a man who trained two Hokage and a BOSS not be powerful...?

"Alright, I'll go tell Supervisor Minato to train hard this week," Kushina said and ran off.

"You're not going to supervise, you're going to feed Jiraiya dog food, aren't you..." Shanks pouted.

“Let’s continue sleeping. I didn’t expect you to have grown so much since giving birth to Lingling, you’re almost as magnanimous as Tsunade!” Shanks teased.

Haruko rolled her eyes at him and let him continue to hold her while she slept.

........

Kushina ran to Training Ground 7 where Minato and Jiraiya were, and saw Jiraiya looking at a book, the title of which was too far away to see clearly. However, she knew that Nawaki must have gone to him to retrieve the books he had taken home, while Minato was pitifully practicing ninjutsu alone on the side.

"Hmph! I knew it would turn out like this!" Kushina walked up to Jiraiya aggressively.

Jiraiya was completely absorbed in his book and didn't notice someone coming to his side.

"You pervert! You're reading these books while Minato is all alone cultivating by himself. That's outrageous!" Kushina's red hair stood on end, her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked like an angry kitten.

"Ah! How...how scary!" Jiraiya was startled by Kushina and swallowed hard after seeing her appearance.

"Kushina, that's not how it is. Jiraiya-sensei taught me, and I'm practicing on my own!" Minato came over to explain for Jiraiya.

"Is that really true? This lecher didn't teach you anything bad, did he?" Kushina looked at Jiraiya suspiciously.

"Hey, hey! Little girl, what do you mean by 'bad'? My work is a great study of human anatomy, don't you understand?" Jiraiya was also unhappy; Kushina was insulting his art.

97. Naruto-themed Finger Pistol: "Seeking first-day subscriptions and further subscriptions!"

"What art? It's just peeping! Minato, don't you dare imitate Jiraiya, or I'll ignore you! How's training going? Tired?" Kushina started feeding them dog food.

"Haha, not tired at all..." Minato glanced at Jiraiya sheepishly.

Jiraiya received a critical hit of 10,000 points from Minato and Kushina!

"puff!"

"Alright, little girl, let Minato practice by himself, don't disturb him!" Jiraiya couldn't stand the couple's PDA anymore.

"Hmph! Minato, you'd better work hard. My uncle said that if you improve within a week, he'll take you as his disciple. I could beg him all morning!"

10,000 points of magic damage from Kushina!

Jiraiya clutched his chest and looked up at the sky!

"Okay! Don't worry, I'll do my best!" Minato said earnestly before running off to train.

"Wow! Little girl, you actually managed to persuade the captain to take him as a disciple!" Jiraiya exclaimed. You see, many clan heads in Konoha wanted Shanks to take their children as disciples. Whether they actually learned anything was irrelevant; the status itself was enough. Shanks's status in Konoha was quite special, similar to Tsunade's. Regardless of who became Hokage, he would still have special privileges in the village, based solely on his contributions to the village.

Having this identity would give him a certain advantage in running for Hokage, but Shanks always brushes it off with a laugh whenever the topic comes up.

"Uncle just promised to teach Minato, and he'll get the hang of it eventually." Kushina has also learned Shanks' shamelessness.

"This works?" Jiraiya was amazed. If he had been a little more shameless back then, maybe the captain would have taught him the secrets to picking up girls, and he wouldn't have spent so many years trying to seduce Tsunade with nothing but getting beaten up.

Kushina said smugly, "Why not? If you teach enough, you'll naturally become a teacher."

If Shanks knew, he'd probably chuckle. They were teachers, teachers to many, after all. As for disciples, forget it; he didn't have the time, and besides, he couldn't teach them. Observation Haki? Armament Haki? Conqueror's Haki? Swordsmanship? Shave? Moonwalk? He couldn't teach any of them. Getting instantly killed in the future would be a disgrace... Besides, Shanks' promise to teach Minato was mostly just to see if he could create a Naruto-style Finger Pistol. Shanks' development of the Finger Pistol was based on the Third Raikage's Piercing Hand technique, so it still falls under the rules of the Naruto world.

Since Minato was able to improve upon the Second Hokage's Flying Thunder God Technique, and Shanks also has a template for him, creating a Naruto version of Finger Pistol shouldn't be a problem, right? As for paper art... to be determined.

This week, Shanks spent his free time chatting with his students, talking about the future, and reflecting on the past. He seemed quite fulfilled; it wouldn't be bad if Shanks lived like this forever. Anyway, Kishimoto wouldn't let this world end; when I transmigrated, he had already drawn Naruto's son.

However, it's clear that some people don't live such a comfortable life as Shanks. For example, today, instead of going to school to brag, he was able to hold his Yonko daughter, a rare treat. Seeing her so calm and quiet, Shanks really felt he'd chosen the wrong name; she should be called Otohime. Her personality is as gentle as Haruko's. She has none of his usual liveliness and cuteness...

"Uncle, Minato is here!" Kushina pulled Minato through the door.

"Lingling, come here for a hug from your big sister!" After pulling Minato in, Kushina reached out and snatched Big Mom away.

Shanks looked up at the sky. Could it be okay? Why not tomorrow? He'd finally managed to wait for Haruko to finish feeding him and bring her over to play for a while, but if Mito came later, he wouldn't get any... But he'd promised, and he had to keep his word, even if it meant crawling on his knees.

"Well, let's go to the practice range." Shanks grabbed Minato's shoulder.

←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

The two appeared at Konoha's Training Ground No. 3, which Shanks had booked with his "gambling, prostitution, and drugs gang" back then. The sign outside read: "No entry except for the Hokage!"

The two were placed in the training ground. Minato opened his eyes and looked at Shanks, "Sensei, is this the Flying Thunder God Technique?"

"Yeah, how is it? How does it feel?" Shanks looked at him too. The man who was said to be even more perfect than Tobirama Senju must have incredibly strong spatial awareness.