Konoha Drunkard

...When Minato came in, everything was fine, but after hearing that passionate declaration, he was completely taken aback! His eyebrows were trembling uncontrollably.

"Haha! Thank you for your trouble, Master Dai!" What a polite child.

"Alright, then I'll leave Minato to you. I have something to do, so I'll be going now! Sayonara!" Shanks said and immediately disappeared. He really couldn't stand that green bodysuit. Luckily, he didn't have the beard like in the original story! Otherwise, Shanks would really have nightmares!

Shanks had barely handed the gentle Minato over to the green-skinned man for a day when Kushina stormed into his house in a menacing manner.

"What's wrong? Who made you like this?" Haruko asked, looking at Kushina's murderous expression.

"It's all because of your husband! Minato just got out of that lecherous Jiraiya's place, and your husband dumped him on some green-skinned pervert! It's outrageous!" Kushina was on the verge of tears. Minato had only recently escaped the tutelage of that lecherous Jiraiya, and now he's being trained by some green-skinned pervert. Is there no normal person left in Konoha?

"Haha, you mean Might Guy? Actually, he's not a pervert. He just wears that outfit for convenience when practicing taijutsu, so he does it that way. Besides, he's a really nice guy." Haruko knew who it was when she heard "green-skinned pervert." She was also shocked when she first saw Might Guy's appearance, but after getting to know him better, she felt sorry for him. Because he had no chakra, he persisted in practicing taijutsu. And when she examined him, he already had many hidden injuries. If they hadn't been discovered early, his ninja lifespan probably wouldn't have been very long. Moreover, because he was poor, he took on missions that were always life-threatening.

"Anyway, I don't care, where is Uncle?" Kushina persisted.

“He should be out drinking right now. You could go to Nara’s house and look for him,” Haruko said with a laugh.

"Hmph! Let me find him and teach him a lesson." Kushina raised her little fist and turned to look for him.

"..." Haruko shook her head with a wry smile. Shanks was still the same as when she first met him, like a little kid. But meeting him was her luck. Otherwise, she might have been one of those commoner ninjas who died within a year or two of graduating from ninja academy.

How could she possibly learn medical ninjutsu with Koharu Utatane, then get married and have children? Almost all the orphans who went to school with her from the orphanage are dead, and the only one left is crippled in both legs, unable to even live a normal life. She can only survive on the annual stipend from Konoha.

.......

"Hey! Hatake, when are you going to find a girl and get married? Look at Kurenai, she's getting married soon, and you're still single. What if your son doesn't make it?" Shanks invited Sakumo Hatake out for drinks at Kurenai's house; they hadn't gotten together in a long time.

"Well, I haven't decided yet. Recently, border tensions have started to escalate again," said Sakumo Hatake.

“Yes, last month when I brought my students back from the border, we ran into the Sand Village’s Anbu a few times,” Yuhi Shinku continued.

Shanks tried to recall, but he just couldn't remember when World War II started. He'd been there for over 20 years, and many things were out of his mind. He only remembered a few key figures and events; the dates and locations were long gone, given to Kishimoto the Great.

"Are the Sand Village ninjas really that powerful now? I feel like they're pretty weak too. By the way, I heard that Hanzo of the Salamander from Amegakure is now calling himself a demigod?" Shanks said. In recent years, the most powerful person wasn't Shanks from Konoha, but Hanzo of the Salamander from Amegakure. After being seriously injured by Kagami, he recuperated for several years. When he returned, he first took down Yamafune, the general of the Land of Iron. Don't underestimate Yamafune. Although he was a samurai, he was definitely a Kage-level fighter. However, the person in charge in this world is the old man of the Six Paths, so samurai can't really thrive.

The warriors of the Land of Iron are quite strong, at least much stronger than Takigakure, which is said to be below the Five Great Ninja Villages. Otherwise, they would have been conquered by other countries long ago, and how could they still maintain their neutrality?

"His water-style ninjutsu is pretty good, but his poison-style ninjutsu is really strong, and the combination of poison and water-style ninjutsu makes him very difficult to deal with!" It seems that Hatake Sakumo has fought him before.

"You two fought? Really? You couldn't even take him down?" Shanks was somewhat surprised. After all, this guy was an expert in assassination, his speed and attack power were comparable to the Third Raikage.

"Well, I've met him once, but only to save someone. He's really powerful, covered in poison, even more troublesome than the puppets of the Shamon." Hatake Sakumo said nonchalantly.

Shanks certainly knew that Hanzo was far more skilled than Shamon, who was just a toy enthusiast. Shamon's abilities lay entirely in his toys; he was practically useless. If it had been the current Shado-Garuda back then, Shanks wouldn't have bothered stealing his crystals.

“His poison is indeed potent. If an antidote can be developed, he will be much easier to deal with,” Shanks said, stroking his chin.

“Tsunade has already tried it. His poison is the deadly poison of the salamander, and there is no way to quickly cure it. Once you are poisoned by it in battle, your whole body will slowly become paralyzed and you will die,” said Sakumo Hatake.

"Those who come here for drinks today aren't here to discuss business. If Hanzo or anything like that touches me, I'll make them call me daddy!" Shanks was carried away with his pride, unleashing his Conqueror's Haki—unrivaled! Only Madara and Six Paths' mother...

"..." Hatake Sakumo and Yuhi Shinku seem to want to hit him! He's the one who brought up this whole thing.

"By the way, why is Shinku a team leader too?" Shanks asked curiously. He wondered if he should be a genin or chunin head instructor.

Kurenai Yuhi gave him a disdainful look. "The three students I'm teaching are all taught by you, didn't you know that?"

"Haha! Really? Then I have students all over the world!" Shanks laughed shamelessly.

"But what do you think of them? They're definitely worthy of being my students, aren't they?" Shanks raised an eyebrow smugly.

"The two commoners are quite good and hardworking, but that Uchiha brat has some problems; he's a bit too arrogant." Kurenai Yuhi frowned when she thought of the Uchiha clan.

"Well, it's a family trait, the kind that's ingrained in your bones. I've beaten him up for six years and he still hasn't changed, and he probably never will." Shanks shrugged. He knew who Kurenai Yuhi was talking about. In his last class, there were only two Uchiha. One went back to the police force right after graduation, and the other, while not particularly strong, had an ego that rivaled Madara's. Even after being beaten up by Shanks for six years, he hadn't changed. At most, he'd act subservient in front of Shanks, but to others, he looked down on everyone.

101. Uncle Ban is very sad: "Please subscribe to my first post!"

The three drank until late at night, and only left when Yuhi Makoto's fiancée returned.

When Shanks got home, he saw a little girl with red hair staring at him fiercely.

"What's wrong? Did I do something to you? Does drinking make you more handsome?" Shanks said, touching his face.

"..." Haruko didn't bother to look at him and accompanied the Fourth Emperor's mother to look at the wood carvings.

"You're awful! You dumped Minato on some pervert and went drinking by yourself. That's so irresponsible!" Kushina said fiercely, hands on her hips.

"Hey, what responsibility do I have to take? It's not like I'm marrying him." Shanks was dumbfounded. Wasn't it good that he was paired with the Green-skinned One? At this stage, he could combine Minato's strength with him, and although the Green-skinned One was a bit too passionate, people like that are actually quite easy to get along with. Suddenly...

"Kusina, Minato isn't really wearing a green bodysuit, is he?" Shanks stared at Kushina with wide eyes.

"No, that's exactly why I'm scared. What if Minato gets led astray by that green-skinned pervert?" Kushina said anxiously.

"Tch! You're overthinking it. Aside from his poor taste, Dai is pretty good. Besides, Minato and he weren't training each other to put on clothes. You're overthinking it..." Shanks rolled his eyes.

"Can't you teach him? You're his teacher, after all." Kushina's tail peeked out.

"Your uncle has so many students, and I teach each of them for months. How am I supposed to live? Besides, I already gave him the Flying Thunder God Technique as your dowry. What more do you want from me? The last time your uncle was this generous was back when he married your Aunt Haruko! Be content!" Shanks said shamelessly.

Haruko's Reincarnation Eye awakens, and she wants to give him 108 Shikigami Air Attacks.

Shanks is dead...

“That’s different. Why don’t you take Minato as your disciple? You’ve already said he’s a genius, so you won’t lose out by taking him as your disciple,” Kushina said, squinting her eyes.

"That won't do. Taking on disciples is out of the question. I'll never take on disciples in my entire life..." Shanks refused without even thinking. How could he possibly do something as troublesome as taking on disciples?

"Why? You're so amazing, and Minato is a genius too! You said he'll definitely learn the Flying Thunder God Technique someday. That's the Second Hokage's ninjutsu, and only you and he can learn it in the entire ninja world, and they're even better than you." Kushina was getting anxious.

Shanks looked up at the sky. "That's different. Anyway, I don't take on disciples or anything. How about we let Jiraiya take him on? Jiraiya is pretty good. He's skilled in ninjutsu and can even use Sage Mode!" Shanks tempted.

"No way! I don't want that lecherous guy!" Kushina was unhappy; it was that lecherous guy again.

Shanks looked at Kushina and said, "Hey, hey, hey! After all this talk, it's all your ideas. Have you ever thought about who is the most suitable for Minato? I can't teach him anything at all. I've already taught him everything I can. Besides, Jiraiya is a commoner like him, and only Jiraiya knows what he needs."

Kushina thought for a long time, "Is that really true?"

Shanks nodded. "Think about it, what can I teach him? All my skills are related to our clan, and he's not from the Uzumaki clan. Even if he's gifted, he can't learn them. The only thing he can learn is the Flying Thunder God Technique, and that's something for later. In other words, when it comes to teaching him, I'm not even as good as Kamezaburo. I only have more experience in the ninja world than him. That kind of thing, he'll acquire as he goes along..."

Kushina thought about it and realized it was true. Usually, it was Kamezaburo who taught their classes; Shanks was just a figurehead, only nominally in charge. He'd mostly just chat with them and didn't actually teach anything...

"Alright, go back and keep Minato company. I've been drinking all day, I need to sleep too." Shanks deliberately yawned.

"I'll let you off this time! Humph!" The little girl turned and ran away.

"Sigh! Women in love are troublesome, but young girls in love are even more troublesome!" Shanks said with an air of experience, which earned him a quick glance from Haruko.

The next day, Mito came over on time to take Big Mom away. Mito's health was deteriorating rapidly, and Shanks estimated that she could only last for two or three more years at most. Her beautiful face was also starting to age slowly, and the chakra in the Yin Seal was gradually weakening.

After so many years, Shanks has come to terms with it. Living in the ninja world, just as Mito said, she has no regrets. She has lived longer than many people, and all her wishes have been fulfilled. Even in death, she left with a smile. So, Shanks spends time with her whenever he has the chance.

There's always a chance later, and Orochimaru can summon her again. Anyway, there will be plenty of White Zetsu corpses to deal with later. Shanks guessed that Madara's round eyes should now be given to that silly kid Nagato. He just couldn't understand why Madara wasn't making a move against him yet. After all, he knocked out several White Zetsu back then, so they must be able to guess that he knew about their existence.

Shanks' guess was correct, but Madara, currently underground, was stumped by Nagato. Ever since Madara used genjutsu to keep Nagato's mother in the Land of Rain, he had been waiting for Nagato's birth to give him his signature round eyes. The transplant was fine, but Nagato's timid and cowardly nature infuriated Madara. "I gave you such awesome eyes, and you're afraid of being called a freak?" he thought. And those little brats, calling Nagato's eyes freaks is like calling me a freak... Madara was furious and, that very night, ordered his henchmen to wipe out several of those brats' entire families.

Madara's original plan was to give Nagato the Circlet Eye, observe him for a few years until he reached his ideal level, then eliminate Shanks and find a successor from the Uchiha clan. However, the Uchiha Fugaku he chose turned out to be somewhat like Uchiha Kagami—too rational. Kagami's son inherited Kagami's mindset but not his talent. Madara was deeply disappointed with his main clan; he had only been gone a short time, and even the identity of the clan head's son was now a mystery.

Madara looked up at the sky and began to recall how all the conspiracies and schemes of the past were nothing compared to his overwhelming power! Now he was using the Ten-Tails' body to stay alive, but if he couldn't kill Shanks or if his life force was severely depleted, he would die before he even got his successor, and all his plans of the past twenty years would be ruined.

Madara was filled with regret, wishing he had killed Shanks when he was still a baby!

"White Zetsu, how is Nagato now?" Madara asked the white creature.

"Not bad at all, good food and drink, good health, no illnesses or disasters, just too timid, always getting bullied by those little devils," the white object said.

"Black Zetsu, do you think Nagato can meet our plan like this? If not, we'll find someone else!" Madara was very dissatisfied with White Zetsu's statement.

"Actually, it's very simple to get him to comply with our plan, but he can't fully adapt to the Rinnegan yet. After all, the Rinnegan isn't his, so we have to wait a few more years for him to grow." The will of the Six Paths' mother knew exactly what Madara was up to. He just wanted to find someone whose temperament would satisfy him, and then go kill Shanks.

However, the will of the Six Paths' mother did not believe that Madara could kill Shanks in his current state, so this excuse dissuaded Madara from his idea.

102. Nara women are more assertive than men. (Seeking first subscription, seeking first-time orders)

After hearing Black Zetsu's words, Madara calmed down. "Give him a few more years. If he still doesn't work, we'll find someone else. Also, are there any good candidates from the Uchiha clan?"

"Because of that red-haired ninja from Konoha, I can't easily infiltrate Konoha. However, judging from the information given by the ninjas who came out of Konoha, there isn't one yet. Uchiha Kagami's son's talent is really too low; at most, he has three tomoe." Black Zetsu said.

"The Uchiha clan has truly declined. Without Lord Madara, they're all just a bunch of useless trash," White Zetsu flattered.

"Hmph, what a bunch of useless bastards, all they know is how to enjoy themselves." Although Old Man Madara felt good listening to White Zetsu's words, he was furious when he thought about how his younger brother had made him protect such people until his death.

.........

Konoha 30th year.

After a three-month break, Konoha Academy reopened. Looking at the group of kids in the class, their strength had all shown significant improvement over the three months. Minato had made the most progress; after training with Dai for three months, he had grown much taller and stronger, and now possessed the strength of a genin. For commoner ninjas, becoming a genin at seven years old was already quite remarkable. They weren't like the children of powerful clans who started their education at four or five. Commoner ninjas only began their ninja training after entering the academy, where they focused on chakra cultivation, learning the Three Body Techniques, shurikenjutsu, and so on.

Minato entered the academy at around 5 or 6 years old and began receiving ninja training. In just one year, he had already reached the level of a genin, which was already quite impressive. After more than ten years of recuperation, Konoha was arguably at its strongest, with all sorts of genius ninjas flying around. There was Kurenai Yuhi, whose genjutsu even the Sharingan couldn't deflect; Dan Kato, who could separate his soul from his body; Mitarashi Shishou, the vice-captain of the Anbu; and the through-escape ninja Gekko Shinjutsu, among others. However, none of them had reached the level of a genin at the age of 7 like Minato.

This is Kishimoto's script; it makes absolutely no sense. Don't you see, 30 years later, the world is saved by a bunch of low-ranking ninja?

"Welcome back to our Class 2-A! Did you all have a great holiday? Minato, stop looking at me! It's only been two days, and you've turned into a melancholy god." Shanks leaned against the podium, teasing the warm-hearted Minato with his messy hair and panda eyes, looking just like Shanks.

"Hahaha! Minato, did you make Kushina angry?"

"Haha! Doesn't Minato have a little claw?"

My friends were just making a fuss!

"Alright, alright, Kushina has taken a few days off to study with Mito-sama. She asked me to let you know she'll be back in a few days!" Shanks couldn't stand Minato's shy, timid demeanor.

"Hahaha..." Minato chuckled awkwardly. School was about to start these past two days, but Kushina seemed to have disappeared and hadn't come to find him. He went to the Senju clan to ask the Uzumaki people, but they didn't know either. He couldn't find Shanks either, which made him sleepless for two days. Now that he heard Shanks say this, he felt relieved.

"Alright, it's the first day of school. Let's go to the practice field and see if your skills have improved over the break," Shanks said, then darted out of the classroom.

.......

A pair of friends arrived at the practice area one after another.

"Today's groupings are the same as before, one-on-one duels, losers against losers, winners against winners. There are no prizes this time, but losers should be careful, they might not be as lucky as Shikaku last time." Shanks deliberately glanced at the lazy Shikaku.

"..." Lazy Lu Jiu rolled his dead fish eyes.

The first pair, the "Nation's Father-in-Law" and the "Tragic Japanese Sisters," were fighting back and forth. However, Shanks was so bored he almost fell asleep. He has no interest in Gentle Fist; to the uninitiated, it looked like two old men were practicing Tai Chi. There were no special effects, and it wasn't the kind of hard-hitting style; it wasn't exciting at all.

In the end, Shanks won by a narrow margin, but it seemed they were evenly matched. Hizashi, not wanting his brother to waste his energy, deliberately made a mistake in his attack and lost. The brotherhood depicted by Kishimoto, the great author, is never the dramatic, high-society story. It's either the older brother loving the younger, or the younger brother sacrificing himself for the older brother...

The second group consisted of the chubby Dingza and Hiruzen Sarutobi's nephew. The chubby Dingza slapped his two-meter-tall chubby hand on the ground, and Hiruzen Sarutobi's nephew was doomed.

Shanks watched a bunch of rookies fighting each other, and he was getting sleepy. The final showdown was between Minato and the "National Father-in-Law." However, this time Minato wasn't injured and unable to fight. Minato had trained with Green Skin Dai for three months in physical combat, and he also knew some paper drawing skills. Although he couldn't dodge Shanks's love-bouncing attacks, he easily dodged the "National Father-in-Law's" level attacks. It's like training with a master for half a year and then going back to fight against a bronze player. He still managed to beat the bronze player to 20 surrenders.

After Minato finally defeated his in-law, the group division ended. It's just unknown whether the "Nation's Father-in-Law" will still give the savior a friendly look after this. He got beaten up by his own father, and now his daughter is being clapped on by him. If it were Shanks, he definitely wouldn't tolerate it.

"You've all made some progress during the holiday, which means I've done a good job teaching you. First place: Minato. Last place: Lazy Shikaku. Lazy Shikaku, tonight I'll go to your house and tell your female parents about your glorious deeds!" Shanks said to Lazy Shikaku after shamelessly boasting.