Konoha Drunkard

"Bang! Smash!"

"..." Jiraiya's disdainful expression earned him a loving punch from Shanks.

"Now that we've finished talking, I'll be going now. I still need to go back to school and give it to their teachers! Sigh! There are so few teachers as responsible as me! I still need to do my best in my last shift," Shanks said as he walked away.

The two guards in the Hokage's office really wanted to kick him after hearing this. By sheer coincidence, they were among Shanks' first students when he was their homeroom teacher. Hearing his shameless words, they really wanted to ask him if his heart didn't ache. Back then, it was Kamezaburo who taught them, and every time he came, he would boast. At the time, they didn't understand, and they listened with rapt attention, wishing they could leave school and go fight other village kage. But when they left, they realized it was all fake; the invincible, overpowered hero was always someone else.

"Huh? Aren't you Nomura and Oki? How did you two manage to get onto this guard post? That's quite something!" Shanks had thought the two guards looked familiar, but after thinking about it carefully, he realized they were his actual students. They'd actually managed to get on guard duty for the Hokage? That's quite something.

Don't underestimate guarding the Hokage; it's a lucrative job. You get to bask in the Hokage's sunlight every day, and promotions are much easier than those life-or-death missions. They're protecting the Hokage's safety—how noble!

"Haha, what a coincidence, teacher!" Nomura and Oki dared not refuse.

"Work hard to protect the Hokage. In a couple of years, you might even become a Jonin and run for Hokage. After all, the one inside is getting old, you know what I mean!" Shanks patted the two on the shoulder like a teacher.

"Thud!" The sound of a long object hitting the ground echoed through the office.

Nomura and Oki were sweating profusely. "We've already graduated, and they're still messing with us? We don't understand!"

"Work hard! Sayonara!" Shanks waved to them and walked away.

They, however, had to stay behind, living in fear.

Shanks returned to Class 6-A's classroom and stood on the podium. "Today is your exam day. If you pass, you'll be divided into classes tomorrow. What I want to say is that after you graduate, you must continue to work hard and learn from your leader... oops! Your supervising teacher. You should know that the ninja world isn't as easy as you think. Don't accidentally die. I won't be visiting your graveyard then, understand?"

"Understood, don't worry, teacher! I'm going to be the Hokage!" Hiruzen Sarutobi's nephew, Sarutobi Jin, stood up and patted Hashirama Senju's pose, shouting with great enthusiasm.

Shanks stared at the sky speechlessly. "You're the person I'm most worried about! Does anyone think they can become Hokage? Everyone who wants to be Hokage either gets killed off by Kishimoto or by your uncle!"

The ninja academy entrance exams are still the same: the Three Body Techniques, a written test, shuriken, and kunai.

.......

The next day in the classroom, a group of teenagers wore ninja headbands in all sorts of creative ways—on their foreheads, arms, waists, and legs, with different long ropes attached. It was a real hodgepodge.

"Ahem! Now we'll divide you into classes! Three people per group. After the classes are divided, your assigned teachers will take you away," Kame Saburo said as he entered the classroom.

"Class 1: Minato Namikaze, Kushina, Hiashi Hyuga, teacher Jiraiya. Class 2: Hizashi Hyuga, Shiki Aburame, Tsurugi Inuzuka, teacher Tsunade. Class 3: Choza Akimichi, Shikaku Nara, Inoichi Yamanaka, teacher..." Kame Saburo rubbed his eyes, realizing, "That's right, those are the names..."

The boy below looked on with a puzzled expression as he saw Kame Saburo stop and rub his eyes.

"Ahem, this is Shanks Uzumaki, the teacher in charge of Class 3."

"Holy crap! No way?? The teacher has become the team leader again!" The boys below exclaimed in surprise.

"Oh no! It's over! Six years and we still haven't escaped their clutches!" Shikaku and Yamanaka Ino exchanged a glance, their faces filled with sorrow.

Only Akimichi Choza remained oblivious, continuing to eat.

"...That concludes the class assignments. Your assigned teachers will be here shortly, so please wait here patiently." After assigning the classes, Kame Saburo left, humming a tune and skipping along with cheerful steps. He was so excited! Finally, it was over. Shanks-sama was gone, so he would be leading the elite class from now on. He was officially promoted at noon!

"Oh! Shikaku, my condolences!" Sarutobi patted Nara Shikaku sympathetically as he entered the cave. Although he was initially a little envious, he couldn't help but feel sorry for Shikaku and the others after remembering that his team leader was Jiraiya. Six years had passed, and they had finally made it through, but Shikaku and the others were still struggling!

"I don't want to be in that lecherous guy's team with Minato!" The most unhappy person was Kushina. The person she disliked the most in Konoha was Jiraiya. Ever since Minato was taken in as his disciple, she had been worried that Minato would be led astray by Jiraiya. Now, with Minato spending every day with Jiraiya, wouldn't he become the next Nawaki?

"Kusina, Jiraiya-sensei is very good," the kind-hearted Minato comforted her.

"No way! I'm going to settle accounts with the Hokage tomorrow!" Kushina said angrily.

"Kushina, everyone is watching you, and I can learn a lot from Jiraiya-sensei too."

"Hmph!" Kushina snorted.

"Haha, you violent little girl, are you too excited to know that I am the team leader?" A lewd and exaggerated voice came from the doorway, where a white-haired man stood.

"Hmph!" Kushina snorted.

"Haha, sorry, Jiraiya-sensei, Kushina hasn't been in a good mood lately!" Minato is still the same Minato.

"Alright! Class 1 and Class 2, come with me. Your teachers are a bit busy today, so I'm taking you there," Jiraiya said.

-_-|| Kushina broke out in a cold sweat after hearing this. This excuse was so typical of Tsunade; it was obvious she couldn't get out of the casino.

The second class is completely bewildered!! The teacher in charge was a bit busy on the first day... What will happen next?

Nara Shikaku watched the second class leave and felt a sense of shared misfortune. He thought it would be good if their teacher was also a bit busy.

pity...

"Hello! We meet again! Third shift, give me your turn! GO! GO! GO!" Still that white shirt, still those floral shorts, still those wooden clogs, still that unkempt red hair, still that perpetually unkempt beard...

"Sigh!" Nara Shikaku and his two companions walked out listlessly, drawing stares from everyone in the classroom...

106. Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors, has gone astray: "Please subscribe and make your first purchase!"

"Hey! Hey! Hey! You two, stop looking so listless. Look at Choza, he's so happy!" The four of them were sitting in the Akimichi clan's barbecue restaurant, and Shanks said to the two slovenly men.

"Mmm... mmm. Yes, the grilled meat is so delicious!" Akimichi Choza said as he stuffed grilled meat into his mouth.

"Isn't this your family's barbecue yet?" Yamanaka Inoichi glanced at Akimichi Choza.

"Mmm...mmm. It's not greasy at all, I can eat a lot and it won't get greasy." Akimichi Choza continued to stuff meat into the very center.

"Not bad, Ding is the most conscientious! You two, look what the other teachers are making them do? Only you get to eat barbecue, and you're acting like this, it breaks my heart!" Shanks said, looking heartbroken.

"..." Nara Shikaku Ge You slumped in his seat, staring at the sky.

"We're all so familiar with each other, so let's skip some formalities. Remember to get some rest early tonight, you'll be busy starting tomorrow!" Shanks said, swaying a glass of sake in front of them.

"Isn't there any assessment or anything?" Yamanaka Inoichi asked curiously.

"Boom!"

Shanks gave him a loving volley, saying, "You're all my students, and you still have to take the test? Isn't this a slap in my face? Ask the Jonin who led your class, isn't this disrespecting me?"

"Does that mean we'll be taking on D-rank missions starting tomorrow?" Nara Shikaku asked, tears streaming down his face. He was absolutely certain that tomorrow's mission would be anything but simple.

"The Nara family is really smart. Apart from being afraid of their wives and being lazy, they basically have no flaws." Shanks gave Shikaku a thumbs up.

"..."

After finishing his barbecue, Shanks returned home to find Big Mom obediently learning to cook with Haruko...

Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors, really disliked training. She only agreed to learn how to condense chakra after Shanks had to coax her many times. However, after learning it, she never trained again, preferring to help Haruko with housework and teach Haruko how to cook.

Shanks was speechless. "You're Charlotte Linlin, aren't you? Shouldn't you have been beating up Jonin at five and setting sail to build your own pirate crew at ten? How did you end up like this? Where's your Haki? Where did it go?"

"Father, you're back!" came the soft, gentle voice of the Fourth Empress.

"Oh, right, how about Linlin goes to the Ninja Academy next year?" Shanks thought that Big Mom would be five years old next year, which would be the age to start school. As for starting school at seven, that kind of thing only happens in rigid clans like the Uchiha and Hyuga.

"Can I not go?" Charlotte Lingling asked pitifully. To be honest, she didn't like cultivation. She would rather stay at home, help her mother with housework, learn to cook, or chat with her clansmen aunts.

"..." Shanks had a headache. "Don't you want to make more friends? There are many kids like you at school. You know, your mother and I met at school."

"Okay... are there really a lot of kids at Mother's school?" Big Mom clearly didn't believe her unreliable father.

“Hehe, yes, there are kids your age at school, and Natsume and Ram will be going to school next year too, so you can be with them,” Haruko said with a smile.

"Really? Aren't they supposed to be learning sealing techniques? Can they go to school too?" Big Mom's mood became a little lively.

"Tch! Your Hokage uncle is begging them to go. Don't worry, you'll be in Uncle Takenaka's class. I said so!" Shanks couldn't resist teasing Hiruzen Sarutobi.

For the past few years, Hiruzen Sarutobi had been trying to integrate the Uzumaki clan into the village. How could he do that? Of course, he would start with the next generation. Kushina was a good start. However, the children of Kushina's generation were filled with hatred for the destruction of their homeland, so they stayed in the clan to learn sealing techniques and were unwilling to waste time going to school. Hiruzen Sarutobi couldn't do anything about it. But a few years later, a new batch of children was just reaching school age. Hiruzen Sarutobi went to Ichinozuki to persuade them again. So, under the leadership of Ichinozuki, the clan head, a group of children finally decided to go to the Ninja Academy.

...........

In a quiet and peaceful village in the Land of Rain, everything is fine except for the fact that it drizzles all year round.

Today is Nagato's 12th birthday. Because his eyes are different from others, he is bullied by the village children every day, and he gradually feels inferior. Only his mother stays with him every day.

But today, a group of ninjas suddenly arrived and began burning, killing, and looting in the village. His mother was killed while trying to protect her. In his grief, he awakened a terrifying power and killed all the ninjas. He saw ninja headbands on the foreheads of the ninjas, but because he had no knowledge of the ninja world, he didn't know which village they belonged to. However, he memorized the appearance of the headbands and left the village where he had lived for twelve years alone.

.........

Madara, an old man, awoke in the darkness of an underground club somewhere in the ninja world. He looked at the black object beside him and asked, "Black Zetsu, how's the plan going?"

"Lord Madara, the plan has succeeded. Nagato has begun to awaken the Rinnegan's abilities. In a few years, he will be able to adapt to the power of the Rinnegan," the black object replied.

"Ahem! Very good, as long as I find the Uchiha clan members, my plan will begin..." Madara was too excited and coughed several times.

"However... Lord Madara, the Uchiha clan currently lacks the outstanding talents you desire," the white object said, its flattery flowing smoothly.

"No rush, we still have time. We've waited all these years." This time, it was Madara's turn to be calm! He finally experienced a sense of accomplishment he had never felt before. He felt that his intelligence surpassed that of Hashirama Senju by several Tobirama Senju. A powerful aura burst forth from his body, unstoppable!

"If I had known to use my intelligence back then, I could have easily outmaneuvered Tobirama Senju!" Madara sighed, looking up at a 45-degree angle.

"...You'd have been played to death long ago! You're only good at mindless charging." Black Zetsu mentally complained.

"Konoha has had enough time to recover. Go and carry out the plan. Make the ninja world as chaotic as possible," Madara continued with a cold laugh.

Large numbers of Konoha ninja have appeared in many parts of the Land of Rain, indiscriminately killing people under the guise of hunting down rogue ninja.

"boom!"

"Konoha has gone too far! Issue my order: kill all the Konoha ninja in the Land of Rain!" Hanzo of the Salamander, the leader of the Land of Rain, was furious. His nation, ruled by demigods, had been thrown into chaos by Konoha's lackeys; they were utterly disrespectful. He'd tolerated a small group of henchmen causing trouble at first—Konoha was a powerful force, and they couldn't afford to offend them. But now they'd come knocking on his door! He wanted nothing more than to take out his 40-meter-long scythe and hack Hiruzen Sarutobi to pieces.

107. The Unluckiest Character of the Year: The Third Mizukage ("Seeking first-day subscriptions and further subscriptions")

Just as the Land of Rain was in turmoil, Shanks arrived at the mission room with the three young boys, Ino-Shika-Cho.

"To celebrate the establishment of Shanks' Team 2, we're taking on 20 D-rank missions today. How about that? Aren't you excited? Aren't you happy?" Shanks said to the three boys.

“…Not at all!” Nara Shikaku and Yamanaka Inoichi were speechless. Twenty a day? They would never stop.

"Snap... snap!" Choza Akimichi remained remarkably calm, his mouth still stuffed with something.

"New Village, 20 D-rank missions, please!" Shanks shouted to the ninja registering for missions. The former Kino had retired and was raising his son at home. He often talked about how his son was a genius when he was drinking. After Shanks asked for his son's name, he said that he would be very awesome in the future. After that, he would not disturb his dream. Kino got a pentakill! Damn it, if Shanks doesn't get beaten to a pulp when he grows up, he's really stubborn.

"Yes, Lord Shanks!" The village registrar looked at Shanks with admiration. "Lord Shanks is truly extraordinary. He has to complete 20 D-rank missions on his first day of training his disciples. That's amazing!"

“........” Nara Shikaku and Yamanaka Inoichi really wanted to punch him in the face.

"Haha! There aren't many people with your eye for talent these days, Ganbatte, I'm rooting for you!" Shanks said shamelessly.

The following day was pure hell for the little pig-deer-butterfly, filled with cleaning ditches, garbage dumps, toilets, and so on.

Choza Akimichi declared he wouldn't eat for three days! When Shikaku returned home that day, his mother wouldn't even let him in the door; he had to take a shower at the gate before he could enter...

Yamanaka Inoichi is quite well-behaved; both his parents are refined people. Little chubby Choza is even less of a problem. His father is not around, and his mother is in the kitchen cooking. It is said that women of the Akimichi clan spend ten hours a day in the kitchen.

........

The atmosphere in the Hokage's office was heavy that day. Some time ago, the Land of Rain demanded an explanation from Konoha for sending a large number of ninjas to burn, kill, and plunder in the Land of Rain. When Hiruzen Sarutobi heard this, his first thought was that it was impossible. But after thinking about it for a moment, he wondered if Danzo had done it behind his back. So Hiruzen Sarutobi convened another roundtable meeting of the four leaders of Konoha.