Konoha Drunkard

Everyone was dumbfounded! He could actually endure this? He truly is a powerful ninja!

"Ah! Yes! I'll have the craftsmen do the coloring!" The long-legged man's father didn't understand Shanks's thought process and ran to call two or three craftsmen over to do the coloring!

"Pah! You dog!"

"Pooh!"

"You scoundrel!"

After the three old craftsmen came over in a rage and spat on the stone sculpture in front of Shanks, they began to paint it!

"..." The long-legged man's father and the group of Iwa ninja admired the old craftsman's courage!

"Is this... a ritual before coloring?" Shanks asked his long-legged father.

"Uh! Right! It always ends up like this when I paint the stone sculpture!" A large bead of cold sweat trickled down the back of the long-legged dad's forehead!

"I see! Hmm! I'll try this ritual next time I paint the red-nosed wood carving!" Shanks said with sudden realization.

"boom!"

Everyone slipped and fell.

"Haha! I never imagined Lord Shanks could sculpt a statue of Father!" Long-legged Dad really wanted to buy a watch last year! If his dad knew that just because a few old craftsmen and he used spitting as a ritual, his dad was being verbally abused in Konoha, I wonder if his dad would shoot him into a wall...

"Of course, and the people I carve are all famous figures in the ninja world. I'm too lazy to carve small fry, like the two current Kazekage of Sunagakure, and the two Raikage of Kumogakure. As for you Iwagakure, there are only these three Tsuchikage. Originally, there was also your deceased giant, Tokusō, although he's dead, he was too weak. He was actually killed by Hanzo, so I didn't carve him. In short, everyone who could be carved by me is dead, only your red-nosed old man is still alive. Isn't that awesome?" Shanks rambled on.

The Iwa ninja almost exploded with anger and attacked him. How dare he curse their Kage right in front of them! But considering the vast difference in strength between the two sides, and that he also had a Cosmo, they thought, "Oh well, he's human!"

"Oh? Lord Shanks doesn't even think much of Hanzo the Salamander?" The long-legged man's father asked with sparkling eyes, ignoring Shanks's words. Anyway, there were already too many people cursing his father to die, so one more wouldn't make a difference.

Shanks patted his shoulder dismissively. "Hey nephew, your skills at getting information out of people are still too weak. You should spend a few more years playing minor roles with your red-nosed dad! It's not that I look down on that fish, but I've been beating up the Konoha 'gambling, prostitution, and drug gang' since we were kids, and he still can't beat them. The only thing he's good at is his drug skills."

"Haha!" The long-legged man's father was embarrassed. He didn't expect that this seemingly unserious red-haired man from Konoha would be so shrewd.

"Haha! Of course I'm shrewd, otherwise I would have been screwed over by your red-nosed old man!" Shanks laughed loudly at him.

The tall, muscular man's father was stunned. "(⊙_⊙).....How did he know?"

The group reached the towering mountaintop again. Shanks, standing there, felt a surge of exhilarating pride, as if he wanted to fly to the moon and utterly destroy the Six Paths of Hell.

"Iwagakure is indeed blessed with natural advantages, surrounded by natural defenses. Even the allied forces of the four great nations would have a hard time breaking in!" Shanks, in the manner of a military strategist, recounted what his best friend had told him.

“But it’s also difficult to connect with the outside world. Apart from merchants, no one is willing to come to our village!” said the father of the long-legged man.

"Every advantage has its disadvantages. Look at our Konoha, we're always at the center of a major war! You'll understand once your red-nosed dad is dead and you become the Kage. I'm rooting for you! Good luck!" Shanks gave his long-legged dad a knowing look.

"..." Everyone was speechless. Was this some kind of attempt to trick someone's son into plotting to usurp the throne?

"By the way, we've been here so long, where's Aoki-kun? That guy, he's an old friend who doesn't even come to see him!" Shanks said.

"Lord Aoki is probably dealing with important matters right now, he'll probably be back tomorrow!" said the father of the long-legged man.

"Tch! You wanted to go into business with him? Alright! Let's go back. Do you have any places to rest and have fun? Bring me a few pretty girls to discuss life's ideals with. One for each of you, it's on me! Nephew, do you want a few too?" Shanks said lewdly to his long-legged father.

Upon hearing Shanks' words, the Iwa ninja were filled with excitement. They suddenly realized that the Konoha Shanks was actually quite easy to get along with. He had a good temper, understood art, and most importantly, he was incredibly generous!

"Haha! I'll let it go!" The long-legged man's father felt he'd had enough for today. Next time, he'd have Aoki Nozomi keep an eye on him, and even if he were beaten to death, the man wouldn't come.

163. Shanks, a businessman in the service industry, "requests subscriptions".

That evening, Shanks really did go to the Crimson Quarter of Iwagakure to "discuss life" with the young ladies there—but he genuinely just wanted to discuss life, and incidentally dig up some gossip about Onoki, like his daily life with his beautiful stepmother, his daily life with his incredibly strong wife, and his daily life with Uncle Song next door. After listening to all this, Shanks realized that the Onoki family was even more fascinating than the entire Uchiha clan of Konoha! The more prestigious the circle, the more chaotic it gets!

Shanks stayed in Iwagakure for a few days and was surprised to find that Onoki, that red-nosed guy, wasn't even being watched by the Anbu. That's really... disrespectful to him. After all, Onoki is a big shot, and his bounty is higher than Shanks's!

Inside the Tsuchikage Building, Onoki and Aoki Nozomi are having a meeting about Shanks.

"Aoki, how did you end up with this Konoha Shanks?" Onoki asked Aoki Nozomi, whom he thought highly of. If he didn't think highly of him, he wouldn't have sent him to negotiate with Konoha.

"Ugh! That Konoha Red-Haired Shanks is really troublesome, and most importantly, he's incredibly shameless! I only ran into him once on the streets of Konoha, and he swindled me out of two cartloads of purple sand jade!" Aoki Nozomi's heart still bleeds when he talks about this, but he doesn't dare to say anything that's taboo to Onoki Red-Haired Shanks.

"Oh? How did he trick you?" Onoki asked with a red nose, puzzled. He admired Aoki Nozomi not because of his strength, but because of his high intelligence. How could Konoha's Red-Haired Shanks trick him? Does Konoha's Red-Haired Shanks really have that high an intelligence?

"(⊙o⊙).....During the negotiations in Konoha, I visited the Red Bronze Zone and happened to run into Shanks. He's a blabbermouth, and I'm afraid he'll spread rumors that damage the image of Iwa ninja!" Aoki Nozomi quickly came up with this excuse. Should he tell Shanks that he wanted to collaborate on selling Onoki's book, "The Beautiful Stepmother"? Should he tell Onoki that he actually had a copy? If he did, he'd definitely never see Kaguya's residence tomorrow.

"What do you think he's doing in our village? It can't really be mining jade like he said, right? Is he just bored?" said Onoki, his nose red.

"Perhaps... he really might be that bored! He always does things that are hard for ordinary people to understand, but those around him are often influenced by him. For example, during the last great war, he turned the battlefield of the Land of Lightning into a drinking party, and this time their negotiations with the Land of Lightning were conducted over drinks. So if he comes here to do something this boring, I wouldn't be surprised!" It must be said that Aoki Nozomi, who was chosen by Onoki's red nose, is still quite intelligent, but while Aoki Nozomi could guess the beginning, he couldn't guess the ending...

On the busiest street in the Red Quarter of Iwagakure Village, a blond-haired boy with his hair tied up was holding a book and trying to sell it to passersby.

"Uncle, I see you have extraordinary bones, you're clearly a peerless genius, one in a million. I have a secret technique that has been lost in the ninja world for a long time. Not 18,000, not 1,800, just 998! Yes! You heard me right, just 998! You can take this secret technique that has been lost in the ninja world home and practice it with your sister-in-law for three to five years, and you will definitely have a place in the ninja world!" After the blond-haired boy finished speaking, he pulled out a book called "The Secret Technique of the Tsuchikage to Slay His Beautiful Stepmother" from somewhere.

One of the Iwa ninjas, who had been tricked by the blond-haired boy, stared at the book with his eyes practically popping out of their sockets, his heart pounding. He looked around and, finding that no one was paying attention to them, handed the blond-haired boy a thousand dollars. Then, nonchalantly, he put the book away from the boy's hand and said casually, "The extra is for your expenses!" He turned and walked away with a flourish, intending to go home and practice his secret techniques with his wife.

The blond-haired boy gave the Iwa ninja a disdainful look. Are all Iwa ninjas so stingy? Two coins as a mere expense...?

The blond-haired boy put the money away and moved on to the next customer... That's right, this blond-haired boy was Shanks's imagined version of Deidara. Anyway, if Onoki was going to kill anyone, it would be him. Shanks brought all the Onoki series books he bought in the Land of Fire to Iwagakure to sell. It's the same in every world; contraband is the best-selling item. In just one morning, Shanks tricked hundreds of people into buying the Onoki series for 998 yen each. Keep in mind, Shanks only bought them for ten or so yen each in the Land of Fire. As a businessman in the service industry, he goes wherever there's demand—that's Shanks' motto.

"Sigh! Making money in the ninja world is so boring! It seems that my small goal of 100 million is really too small!" Shanks looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle and sighed.

"Master Ninja, it's him! He's selling forbidden books again!" A villager with a middle parting and a traitor-like appearance led several ninjas to Shanks and pointed at him.

"What forbidden book? This is great art! Don't you understand? You're obviously no good person, Ninja-sama! He's slandering us! Look at him, triangular eyes, middle-parted hair. If there's a world war, someone like him will be a traitor!" Shanks was furious that someone was insulting the art he sold. He couldn't back down. After all, it wasn't him, it was Deidara who was still a tadpole!

"Then what are you holding in your hand? Come with us!" the leading ninja said, pointing to the book in Shanks' hand.

"This is art, you know? This is one of the greatest inventions in human history! Don't believe me? See for yourself!" Shanks said seriously.

"Take him back first!" This ninja dared not look at it in public. He was joking; those big words on the paper were so eye-catching, he would be in big trouble if someone reported him.

Two ninjas stepped forward, each grabbing Shanks by one hand. Shanks didn't resist, saying, "What are you doing? I'm a legitimate businessman, you have no reason to arrest me!"

The two ninjas ignored him, grabbed him, and followed their leader. The three of them had just led Shanks to a corner.

"Wave!"

The three were knocked unconscious by Shanks' Conqueror's Haki. Shanks took out a thousand dollars from each of their ninja tool bags, put three volumes of the Onoki series into their clothes, and walked away nonchalantly to the next place to continue his scam.

By nightfall, Shanks had sold all the Onoki series books he bought in the Land of Fire, a total of over ten thousand copies. He still hadn't reached his small goal of one hundred million, but what could he do? There were only so many Onoki series books in the Land of Fire; they were all old books, and nobody wanted to buy them. The publisher wouldn't print that many anyway. These days, everyone's into the Hiruzen Sarutobi series and the Jiraiya bathhouse series. Shanks bought up all the Onoki series books in the Land of Fire, but it was only about ten thousand copies. The shopkeepers even looked down on him, saying the blond-haired kid wasn't studying and liked these outdated books.

164. Her little braids were sticking up – “Please subscribe!”

"Lord Tsuchikage! Something terrible has happened!" An Iwa ninja rushed into the Tsuchikage Building and arrived at Onoki's red-nosed office.

"Damn it! What is it?" Onoki Beni was pondering Konoha Kurenai's purpose in sending the message to the village when he was suddenly interrupted. How could he tolerate this?

"Lord Tsuchikage, a lot of forbidden books have suddenly appeared in the village!" Iwa ninja said tremblingly after being shoved in the nose by Onoki.

"What forbidden book?" Onoki, with his red nose, had long forgotten such trivial matters; he had no recollection of his beautiful stepmother, his mind filled only with Konoha's red hair.

"It's the forbidden book you ordered to be banned before, but... but now there are many different versions appearing in the village!" the Iwa ninja said.

"What? Have you found out which bastard was selling them in the village?" Onoki, with his red nose, finally remembered the incident with his still-attractive stepmother from years ago. His face turned purple, his nose turned from red to black, his eyes were bloodshot, and this time even his little braid stuck up.

"It was a blond kid. When Captain Tsuchino and the others went to arrest him during the day, they were inexplicably knocked unconscious when they got to the back alley, and that blond kid ran away!" Iwa ninja said.

Upon hearing the phrase "inexplicably knocked unconscious," Onoki's red nose conjured up an image of a red-haired man in his mind. *Bang!*

"I knew it! Konoha's Kurenai is here to prepare for something! Gather the men and follow me!" Onoki Kurenai slammed his nose on the table in front of him and ordered the Iwa ninja.

Who else in the entire ninja world could inexplicably knock people unconscious besides this bastard? Onoki, with his red nose, recalled the ten thousand people who had been knocked unconscious by him on the battlefield.

At this moment, Shanks had returned to his original form and was taking stock of his day's gains at his residence. His Observation Haki had already sensed that Onoki Red Nose was gathering his forces. But he wasn't flustered at all, as calm as an iron egg. After all, the person doing this was still a sperm. At most, he would just step in to help a few ninjas bullying a blond-haired boy.

"boom!"

The house was smashed to pieces. Onoki floated in with his red nose. Outside the house was a dense mass of heads. Shanks really wanted to unleash a sword aura. It would be so satisfying to collect these heads!

"Red-haired Shanks of Konoha! What do you mean? You dare to sell forbidden books on my turf?" Onoki snorted and gave Shanks a devilish kiss.

Shanks quickly dodged, feigning ignorance as he asked, "What forbidden book? What are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me you didn't know? The blond brat you rescued today was selling banned books on my turf!" Onoki's red nose made his eyebrows dance with anger.

"What the hell are you talking about? What forbidden book? What book is forbidden?" Shanks still looked blank, as if he knew nothing.

Seeing that he was still like this, Onoki, with his red nose, was surprised that he didn't know anything. Suddenly, he looked at a book in the Onoki series on the table and, in a fit of rage, formed a Dust Release hand seal.

Shanks immediately appeared in the crowd outside the house and said, "Hey! Red Nose, that's a gift I gave me after I saved her. If you want it, just take it. Why did you have to snatch it? That's so rude."

"Damn it! Was that blond brat you in disguise?" Onoki, with his red nose, glared at him angrily. If he hadn't been hiding in the crowd, he would have already used Dust Release on him.

"You can eat shit however you want, but you can't say whatever you want. Do you think I'm that bored? Coming to your Iwagakure to sell books for a few stinking bucks? I make more money selling wood carvings than you do! Did you do something to offend them, causing their families to be ruined and leaving a kid like them penniless? Of course they'd come out to sell books!" Shanks put his hands on the shoulders of the two Iwagakure ninja to stop them from running away.

"You bastard! Let go of me if you dare! Let's fight one-on-one!" Onoki, with his red nose, swore he had never been this angry in his life, not even when the Cloud Ninja invaded the Land of Earth. Today, he was really going crazy.

"Oh ho! You think I have such a short temper? You think I'll just fight you one-on-one just because you tell me to? What do you take me for?" Shanks ignored him.

"Ah! Tell me, what will it take for you to leave Iwagakure!" Onoki, his red nose tingled by Shanks' provocation, frantically scratched his bald head.

"What do you mean, leave Iwagakure? I'm here on vacation, I'm not leaving so soon. I'll be gone in two or three months." Shanks said, stroking his chin.

"No! You have to leave now! I don't want to see you again!" Onoki, with his red nose, was forming a Dust Release hand seal. If Shanks didn't leave, he would really use Dust Release on him.

"Come on! If you've got the guts, then use Dust Escape on me. I don't know if I'll die, but these two brothers are definitely going to die." Shanks wasn't intimidated at all.

"Lord Tsuchikage, come here! Don't worry about us. Please take care of our families after we die!" The two Iwa ninja were not intimidated at all, looking like they were going to their deaths without hesitation, if it weren't for their trembling legs.

Onoki, with his red nose, looked at the two Iwa ninjas who were being held down by Shanks, and with a "come on, I'm not afraid to die" attitude, he resisted the urge to attack.

"I'll give you one night. If you don't leave by tomorrow morning, I'll launch a war against Konoha! None of the Iwa ninja are afraid of death!" Onoki said coldly, staring at Shanks.

Infected by Onoki's words, the surrounding rock warriors stared at Shanks like angry chicks, ready to pounce on him at the slightest provocation.

Shanks was once again impressed by the politician's eloquence. It was simply amazing. Not to mention being watched by so many people, Shanks also felt a little guilty, after all, he had done something wrong!

"Don't get so worked up. Why are you bringing up war all the time? You're so old, why are you getting so angry all the time? What if you suddenly pass away one day and go to see your teacher? You won't have even seen him then," Shanks laughed.

"Hmph! I'll give you one night! Let's go!" After saying that, Onoki, with his red nose, led his men away, leaving Shanks and Beelzebub behind with his two brothers holding his shoulders.

"Haha! You two brothers have guts! I admire you. I'll talk to Red Nose sometime and give you two certificates! Now you can go!" Shanks said, patting the two men before disappearing in a flash.

When Shanks returned to his room, he lay on his bed and thought for a long time. Judging from Red Nose's appearance, he really might start a fight at the slightest provocation. In that case, he would be a sinner of Konoha. But if he really just left so easily, what would he take me, the Yonko Shanks, for? Doesn't he have any dignity?

Shanks had a flash of inspiration, leaving behind a Flying Thunder God kunai, and closed his eyes!

←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

The next moment, he appeared on the outskirts of Konoha, sprinting at full speed towards the Daimyo's residence...the printing shop!

165. Restricting his entry into the country; "Seeking subscriptions"