Konoha Drunkard

"..." Kadian covered his head, not wanting to talk to these idiots.

"Damn it! I... I was late because I was helping an old lady cross the street!" Obito said, his face red and his neck thick with anger as everyone stared at him.

"Tch! These kids' excuses for being late are so unoriginal these days!" Shanks said.

"I...I really was late because I helped an old lady cross the street!" Obito shouted, trying to explain to everyone who didn't believe him.

"Okay, okay, I believe you. Go on over there." Shanks pretended to be magnanimous and coax a child.

"Damn it!" Obito stomped his feet in frustration.

"Ahem! Kid, come and line up, the Hokage is about to speak." In the end, it was Iruka's future father who came to his rescue.

"Yes, teacher!" Obito quickly ran over.

"Honestly, he's already late as soon as school starts!" Kakashi muttered to Obito as they passed by.

“…Damn Kakashi.” Obito glared at Kakashi and ran to Rin Nohara’s side behind his dream girl.

Seeing his dream girl looking at him with concern, he straightened his back, chest out, stomach in, and buttocks, looking every bit the man.

Unfortunately, her feelings were unrequited. The girl turned to look at Kakashi's shy blushing face, who was half-covered. In her heart, "Obito = best friend! Kakashi = sweetheart."

When Obito saw his dream girl blushing shyly at Kakashi, he gave Kakashi a death stare.

"..." Kakashi looked at Obito's ever-changing expression, feeling a bit confused. Was this guy starting to lose his mind too?

After Obito returned to the group, Hiruzen Sarutobi, the president of Konoha, launched into another long speech about loving Konoha, Konoha loving me, and everyone's responsibility to protect Konoha. This got the kids below all fired up, especially those like Obito whose brains weren't fully developed. They clenched their fists, their faces red and necks bulging, looking like they wanted to tear the sun out of their skin.

After Hiruzen Sarutobi finished his long speech, the class placement exam began. The exam was no longer about running laps. As the Konoha education system became more and more perfect, the children's living conditions were constantly improving, their physical fitness was getting better and better, and they were exposed to more and more ninjutsu knowledge. The class placement exam was also becoming more and more professional.

Ultimately, due to connections, Gai was placed tenth in the class by Kame Saburo, while Obito, although terrible and not even close to the elite class, was still a member of the Uchiha clan, so Kame Saburo couldn't possibly put him in the regular class. In the end, Obito became a true bottom-of-the-class student.

........

When school was over, the kids rushed out of the school gate one after another.

Obito, Rin Nohara, Kakashi, Kurenai Yuhi, and Asuma lined up as they walked to the school gate.

"Yo! Kakashi, let's have a man's battle!" A passionate voice rang out from behind.

"..." Kadian glanced at the frivolous middle-aged man under the big tree who looked like he was enjoying a good show, and felt a sense of helplessness.

Are there no normal people here? After defeating Green-skinned Kai in an instant when he was three years old, every time Green-skinned Kai saw him, the first thing he said was "duel," which annoyed him to no end. He had to avoid him every time he went out. He never expected that they would be assigned to the same class this time. He's in for a lot of trouble from now on.

"Damn it! Kakashi wants to duel me first! Kakashi!" Obito couldn't stand it when someone stole his thunder. He was the center of attention wherever he went, how could he let someone steal his spotlight?

"Haha! Kakashi, you've really brought trouble upon yourself. It's one thing for girls to be paying attention to you, but now even guys are paying attention to you! Your little chrysanthemum is in danger!" The lewd middle-aged man laughed loudly under the tree.

Rin Nohara and Kurenai Yuhi blushed after Shanks' words.

"Damn it!" Obito and Asuma glared at Kakashi with shared hatred.

“...I have something to do today, I’ll do it tomorrow…” Kasper said helplessly to the little green-skinned Kai.

But what kind of person is Little Green Skin Kai? He perfectly embodies the essence of being a man of few words. Before Kasper could even utter his last word, Little Green Skin Kai had already closed in and started fighting.

"Leaf Whirlwind!"

"Konoha Power Cyclone!"

"Konoha Whirlwind!"

"Konoha's Love Tornado..."

Little Green Skin Kai launched a fierce attack on Kadian, but Kadian dodged it all with his skillful movement and godlike flash. Finally, Kadian seized Little Green Skin Kai's weakness and ended the battle with a single basic attack.

"As expected of the man I acknowledge, you are indeed powerful, but I will not give up! We'll continue tomorrow!" Little Green Skin Kai lay on the ground and gave Cardinal a thumbs up, his white teeth gleaming in the sunset.

"..." Everyone stared in disbelief, never having seen such a spectacular pose before.

The two girls couldn't help but cover their faces with their hands, feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Haha! Kakashi, it's my turn now. I'll give you ten minutes of rest, or you'll say I bullied you if I beat you!" Obito was always so confident!

"Obito, stop fooling around. Lots of people are watching, and Kakashi is already exhausted." These words from his dream girl nearly provoked Obito into setting a new record for the Uchiha clan's first Sharingan awakening.

202. What's meant to happen will happen.

"Haha! Obito, go for it! I support you. As long as you're brave enough, go for the King of Glory!" Shanks shouted passionately from the side.

"Come on! Kakashi, fight like a man!" Obito was also fired up by Shanks's persuasion and couldn't wait to pin Kakashi to the ground and start over.

"...Sigh!" Kadian was speechless. Why were these friends so easily fooled?

When Obito heard Kakashi sigh, he thought Kakashi looked down on him, which made him even angrier. Like Gai, he charged at Kakashi.

"boom!"

Unlike Little Green Skin Kai's fierce maneuvers, he slipped on a small pebble and fell flat on his face.

"......" A crow circled overhead.... Was that momentum just fake?

"Hmm! You have a lot of momentum, but you're a bit unlucky. Next time you go out, Obito, check the almanac before challenging Kakashi. He definitely won't be able to beat you." Shanks broke the silence, looking like he agreed with him.

"..." The kids were speechless. Seeing Obito's soaring fighting spirit, they realized they'd been completely fooled.

"Obito, are you alright?" Nohara Rin ran to Obito's side and pulled out a tissue from somewhere to wipe the caterpillar that had crawled out of his nose.

Obito's focus right now is solely on Rin Nohara; that's his world. This fall was worth it!

Shanks looked at the two of them. No wonder Obito said things like, "You destroyed the only thing in my world, so I will destroy the only world in yours." Every time he fell down, the first person to comfort him was this girl.

Uchiha's sensory lines are naturally more sensitive than ordinary people's. If Obito had seen this girl get his chest pierced, even without Madara's manipulation, he probably would have evolved into a Dark Destroyer.

For half a year, Kai challenged Kakashi every day, and Obito was tricked by Shanks into challenging Kakashi every day after school.

On this day, Danzo, whose right hand and right eye were bandaged, was looking at a piece of intelligence in his hand with great interest.

"Konoha's White Fang, along with two Anbu members, was surrounded by Iwa ninja in Iwa New Village. In order to save his two teammates, he chose to abandon the mission!"

Danzo was incredibly excited when he saw the intelligence report. This was his best friend's taunt! If he released a single piece of information, this taunt would be either dead or utterly destroyed.

"Where are the two rescued ANBU now?" Danzo asked his new chieftain, Ryoma, his eyes darting around.

"Two genuine Konoha Hospital personnel have been taken into custody," Ryoma Aburame said expressionlessly.

"Very good, have them do as I plan," Danzo instructed Aburame Ryoma.

"Yes!" Aburame Ryoma said and disappeared into the roots.

"Hahaha! This is truly heaven's help, but I'd like to see what Hiruzen Sarutobi is going to do!" Danzo laughed maniacally, imagining his plan succeeding and successfully knocking off his best friend's arm.

While Danzo was going crazy at Root, Shanks was watching Obito get knocked out by Kakashi's basic attack for the 21st time. Every time the elite class sparred in pairs, Obito would rush towards Kakashi a step ahead of Gai, never saying a word, but every time it ended with him being instantly killed, and then Gai would take over.

As Shanks watched with rapt attention, an ANBU appeared behind him, ready to speak, but Shanks stopped him with a gesture. "Don't say anything, I'm coming right now!"

Anonymous: Director! I quit! Even extras have dreams! I haven't even said my lines yet!

...........

"Bang!" The familiar sound of a door being broken down.

Only Hiruzen Sarutobi and Big Bang were in the Hokage's office, but their expressions were quite serious.

"What's going on? Did Danzo flirt with Koharu?" Shanks joked.

Neither Hiruzen Sarutobi nor the giant rocket launcher were in the mood for joking with him. Hiruzen Sarutobi tossed the information in his hand to Shanks, saying, "Take a look!"

Shanks curiously opened the intelligence report and was immediately shocked! "What was bound to happen, happened!"

Three months ago, a Jonin who managed the archives in Konoha defected with some documents from the Anbu strongholds on the border of the Land of Fire. Hiruzen Sarutobi sent his chief strategist, Sakumo Hatake, with two subordinates to personally pursue and kill him.

However, due to the long passage of time, by the time Hatake Sakumo and the others caught up with the rogue ninja in the Land of Earth, he had already made contact with a large number of Iwa ninja. Facing the siege of a large number of Iwa ninja, and having to take care of two subordinates, he had no chance to kill the rogue ninja.

He only had two choices: either charge in and kill the traitorous ninja, disregarding the lives of his two subordinates, or abandon the mission and retreat with his two men.

Who is Hatake Sakumo? Of course he wouldn't choose the first option, so he could only lead two subordinates to break through the encirclement of the Iwa ninja and return to Konoha. However, both subordinates were also seriously injured.

Ultimately, due to the exposure of intelligence, the Land of Fire had to redeploy its outposts along its borders, and setting up an outpost required a great deal of resources.

"Hmm... I think Sakumo did nothing wrong. If I were in his shoes, I would have made the same choice. What's wrong with that?" Shanks said to Hiruzen Sarutobi after reading the intelligence.

"Sigh! The problem is that Konoha spent a lot of resources to build those strongholds!" Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed.

On one hand, there was his leader, whose contributions to Konoha were countless. On the other hand, there was the culmination of Konoha's years of hard work. Hiruzen Sarutobi understood that there was no guarantee of success in the mission; even Sakumo, who had never failed before, would eventually fail. What troubled him was not knowing how to punish this leader.

"Tch! If it's gone, we'll just build another one. Didn't you hear what Tsunade's cheap daimyo uncle said? Problems that can be solved with money aren't really problems! Konoha's White Fang is one of a kind in the entire ninja world for decades. What do you want? Uncle Ito is still watching you!" Shanks said disdainfully.

Hiruzen Sarutobi also thought his earlier words made sense, but the last sentence made his brow twitch. This bastard was far more adept at playing the family card on him than Danzo was!

"So... we need to find a way to cover this up, and even if it gets leaked, we need to minimize the impact!" Hiruzen Sarutobi said after a moment of contemplation.

"...It's probably impossible to keep it a secret. Your good buddy, the fertilizer under the big tree of Konoha, probably knows about this too. And given Sakumo's reputation, this is his first mission failure. Even if Danzo doesn't tell, that red-nosed dwarf Onoki will probably tell too. There's no way to suppress it. The only way now is to think about how to minimize the impact," said Big Cannon.

203. Danzo was tricked again: "Please subscribe!"

"What can you do about my future in-laws?" It's better to leave this kind of brain-draining question to the smart people.

Big Cannon rolled his eyes at the way he was addressed. "...The way to minimize the impact of this matter is to overshadow it with something bigger when it first comes to the fore! But...Konoha doesn't seem to have any major issues lately."

In this kind of thing, smart people are indeed more reliable. However, after hearing the last sentence, the three of them pondered what major events had happened recently. But after thinking about it, they realized that not only Konoha, but the ninja world hadn't had any earth-shattering events recently. The biggest one was the Danzo half-sister incident more than a year ago, which is now old news.

"Nothing really has happened lately, the biggest thing is that Jasper became a father..." Shanks said, shrugging.

Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded in agreement with Shanks' statement. He had just gone through everything that had happened in the past six months, even counting the number of times he had used the crystal ball to observe the happiness index of the Konoha girls. There hadn't been any major events.

"...If there's no big event, we can create one," the giant rocket said, looking at the two mortals.

"How do we do it? Kill the Hokage? That's a huge deal!" Shanks muttered.

"Ahem! Let's get down to business." Hiruzen Sarutobi coughed violently, whether from late-stage lung cancer or from angering Shanks, it was hard to tell.

"..." Shanks stroked his chin thoughtfully. Shanks' words were rough but reasonable. Without a major event that shocked the ninja world, the matter of Sakumo could not be overshadowed.

"That's right! I've got it! It doesn't matter how big or small the matter is, what matters is whether the villagers like to hear it! For example, tonight Danzo sneaks into Koharu's boudoir and gets caught by her and beaten up, and he comes out naked, and then they say something like his hand was broken, his eyes were blinded or something... Hehe! Which one do you think the villagers would like to hear?" Shanks said with a sinister smile.

Although he was going to trick his older brother Danzo again, he felt no remorse for the sake of his best friend. Anyway, his older brother Danzo had already received the First Hokage's cells, so he didn't dare to stand up and dispel the rumors. Otherwise, if his hands and eyes were exposed, he would die even faster. Besides, he could guess that his older brother Danzo was definitely planning to fart again.

Big Rocket and Hiruzen Sarutobi stared at Shanks in shock, giving him a thumbs up. Never mess with this bastard again! This bastard is so damn insidious! How could he come up with such a treacherous idea... But they were also a little excited, especially Danzo's best friend, who was still imagining Danzo being brutally beaten naked by Koharu. How thrilling!

The three of them then worked together to refine the plan. The first step was to have Hiruzen Sarutobi persuade Koharu Utatane and the Utatane clan to cooperate. The second step was to throw the Utatane clan into chaos, at which point they would definitely spread the word. Once these two steps were completed, Danzo would be finished!

That night, Hiruzen Sarutobi set off to persuade Koharu Utatane to reconsider. At first, Koharu Utatane resolutely refused, but after Hiruzen Sarutobi presented Koharu Utatane's most important reason, Koharu reluctantly agreed. Then, around 2 a.m., something happened at the Utatane clan, and they were in complete chaos, which aroused the curiosity of the ninjas on night patrol.