I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

As an adolescent male high school student, the reasons for not being able to sleep at night are either thinking about love or thinking about games. As for the kind that is terminally ill, that is another matter.

And I... was actually writing a script! A play!

Besides feeling frustrated and dissatisfied, I also felt a bit confused.

Why did the senior insist on asking me for help? If it was simply out of trust, that's too simplistic. Besides, I've always believed that trust is actually a sign of laziness. Because you're too lazy to doubt, you simply don't doubt. That's what trust is.

But my senior doesn't seem like such a lazy person, so he must have his own reasons for asking me to do such an important thing.

He rubbed his sore fingers and looked at the handwriting that was gradually becoming sloppy, and couldn't help but sigh.

It's time to sleep.

However, if it is something I don't want to do, why do I work so hard to complete it after I reluctantly agreed to it?

If I had to answer, I guess it's because I haven't figured myself out yet... or is it that deep down I actually want to write this script?

Well, I should just give up thinking about this meaningless thing.

May the moonlight tonight be clouded by my tears

Chapter 5: I wish the moonlight tonight would be covered by my tears

It is absolutely impossible to express what you want to express by relying on words alone.

The words in one's mind will not come out of one's mouth so casually, and will be modified consciously or unconsciously after a little thought. As a result, language cannot express a person's true thoughts at all.

In other words, if you want to understand a person, you don't have to just look at what he or she says, you can also get the answer through different channels.

......................................

"Sheji~yo~"

I was buried in my scriptwriting when I heard Liu Yan's strange voice early in the morning, which made me feel very tired. However, Liu Yan didn't seem to think that his voice was strange or embarrassing. When I looked up at him, he still had a happy face.

"What?" I replied coldly.

"Let me tell you a piece of good news," Liu Yan paused deliberately here and cleared his throat, seemingly not noticing my disgusted look.

"I will be performing at the cultural exhibition in two months!" Liu Yan said excitedly as always.

"Oh, that's really good news, ah."

After dealing with this guy absentmindedly for a while, I prepared to continue writing the script.

"But~I have one more thing to tell you."

This kind of interjection doesn't suit you, change it right away!

"What's the matter?" I asked him absentmindedly, my eyes fixed on the manuscript as I thought about what to write next.

"We still have some problems with the performances."

"What does it have to do with me? I'm not a member of your club, so don't tell me about this kind of thing." After saying that, he was ready to continue writing.

"Don't be so heartless, please help us write the lyrics!" Liu Yan begged me.

What Liu Yan said to me scared me so much that I almost dropped my pen.

"Huh? What did you say?"

Even though I heard it clearly, I couldn't help but ask again.

"I say, we've already composed the music, can you help us write the lyrics?"

The cultural exhibition was scheduled for late December, so the theme was basically related to Christmas. However, Liu Yan's club was unwilling to sing ready-made songs, so they asked a member to compose a song. However, no one could come up with suitable lyrics.

Obviously, this is no reason for me to help.

"No, although I'm not very busy, I resist doing unnecessary things because energy is precious."

"Don't be like this, my unforgettable love depends on this performance!"

"What does your love life have to do with me? Just do what you need to do. I still have to hurry up and write this script." The time I spent talking to Liu Yan alone was enough for me to write a lot of words. Such idle chat was a waste of time.

"How about you come over after school and listen to the music we composed and then think about it?"

"Okay, okay." I answered him absentmindedly and buried my head in writing again.

...........................

"I don't like to write scripts based on other people's works, so this script should be original in terms of plot, but the characters are from the book.

Although writing this script didn't take too long, it was very mentally and physically demanding. Regarding the content, it can be considered an independent chapter. Changing the character names wouldn't have a significant impact, and the setting wouldn't interfere with the story.

The gist of the story depends on how you understand it, Senior."

I gave the script that I had spent a day writing to my senior as soon as class was over.

"Well, I will read it carefully. Thank you for your hard work." The senior smiled at me a little embarrassedly.

"Well, it's okay. There's nothing else to do next, so I'll be leaving first. Goodbye, senior."

"Okay, goodbye." The senior waved at me and turned to walk into the classroom.

I also returned to the classroom, but ran into Lingcan sitting at my seat.

"Useless Knight, why didn't you show me the script you wrote before giving it to your senior?" Ling Can asked sternly.

"That's because if there are any shortcomings in this script, I will make modifications after they are pointed out by my seniors, so that you can see a perfect story." I said these words against my will and silently looked at Ling Can who had a dissatisfied face.

"Huh? So that's the case? Why didn't I think of that... Humph, it turns out that only the most perfect things are worthy of my name Troyana." After saying this, he nodded to himself in affirmation.

"Okay, now you're not dissatisfied anymore, are you? Go back to your own seat."

"Alright, alright, this loser doesn't deserve my scolding." He said and left.

It’s not that I’m not worthy, it’s that I don’t want to at all.

.......After school........

"Sheji~ Let's go~"

Liu Yan turned around as soon as the bell rang and spoke to me in a voice that was neither too loud nor too soft for the whole class to hear.

However, because the tone of his voice was so magical, the classroom, which was usually filled with the sounds of desks and chairs rubbing against each other and conversations, suddenly became quiet.

I don't know him! I really don't know him!

"What are you doing? Don't you think it's stupid to talk like that?" I said to Liu Yan somewhat embarrassedly and angrily.

"No, don't you think that sound just now was quite like Peking Opera?"

"I don't think so. I just think you are smearing the essence of our nation."

"Haha, okay, no more joking, let's go to the activity room quickly." Liu Yan said and began to hurriedly pack his things.

"Well, okay." I sighed helplessly and prepared to go with Liu Yan to listen to the music they composed.

.........Music room.........

"Everyone, this is the master I brought here to write lyrics for us."

As soon as Liu Yan entered the door, he introduced me to several people in the activity room.

"Hello, I'm Liu Yan's classmate, my name is Yi Sheji. Thank you for your guidance." I started introducing myself before I could even see the faces of the people in the room clearly.

"Hey? Aren't you the classmate who gave a speech in the drama club's activity room?" A female voice sounded.

Huh? There is actually someone who still remembers that incident and can even recognize me.

I looked at the girl who spoke to me.

Alas? It's strange. The girl who is smiling at me at this moment has an extremely pretty face and relatively long eyelashes, so that when she smiles, her eyes have a hazy gleam, revealing a sense of innocence.

However, what felt out of place was the boys' school uniform she was wearing and her not-too-neat short black hair.

"Oh, hello." I didn't know how to respond.

"Well, your speech is great," she...or was it him? Anyway, she picked up the electric guitar that was connected to the speakers.

"Then let's get straight to the point. Everyone, please quickly play the music for Shaji-san, who has come specially for you."

"Good!" "Welcome!" "Let's get started!"

Liu Yan, who was next to me, also ran to the group of people, picked up the microphone and began to introduce the members' names to me.

And their president was the person who spoke to me, his name was Mo Xiaozhi.

"Let's start!" the drummer shouted and tapped the drumsticks a few times to lead the rhythm.

Then, I thought they were just playing around, but unexpectedly they performed at the level of a professional band.

Moreover, the melody was so infectious that I wanted to sing along. My legs were shaking unconsciously, and my mind couldn't help but recall some past memories. A few vague words kept circling in my head. When I heard the climax...

I remembered why I admire giving up.

I remembered that I once decided to give up something called tears.

I remembered that there is such a thing as loneliness.

I remembered a lot of words, but I couldn’t remember what they said. Only the feelings in my heart remained, a feeling of not being able to find hope.

I...seemed to have seen someone's past.

And it was not a happy past at all.

So, this song...

It's great, and it will definitely cause a lot of exclamations after being paired with lyrics, but most people may not be able to discover the profound content.

I decided to put all my effort into writing the lyrics for this song and make sure it produces amazing results, because it is the author's hard work. I am very fortunate to be able to hear this song. It is a miraculous encounter.

Music is indeed magical.

"How is it, classmate Sheji?!" Mo Xiaozhi asked me loudly along with the melody during the interval.

"Very good!...You hide your loneliness very well."

However, the music was too loud, so they must not have heard the last sentence.

............................

"Thank you for watching!" Mo Xiaozhi said to me with a smile after the performance.

"I also want to thank you for being able to listen to such great music. Who is the author?"

"I'm just a nominal member, what's wrong?" Mo Xiaozhi asked me.

"Nothing, just curious." I paused. "Give me a day and the MP3 file of this music, and I will create the best lyrics. I promise."

"..."

Mo Xiaozhi was stunned for a moment, and seemed a little surprised by my enthusiasm and seriousness. Then he reacted and said to me with a smile:

"Thank you very much. As for the MP3 file, we will prepare it tomorrow morning and give it to you then."

"Okay. Then I'll leave first." After saying that, he quickly turned around and left.

Even though I heard Liu Yan calling me to wait for him.

But I couldn't look back, because at that moment, I didn't know what had entered my eyes, and I couldn't help but shed tears. If someone saw me, they would mistake me for crying... probably...

.....................

What can move people's hearts is still their hearts.

When you put your emotions into your work, it becomes art, your own work.

Although I don't know who composed the song, I can clearly feel that beneath the cheerful rhythm lies the author's loneliness and deep melancholy.

Perhaps this is something that only those who also live in the shadow can understand.

And for whom are these tears, which keep rolling in my eyes and blurring the world, shed?

For myself? But what reason do I have to shed tears for myself?

For others? But there is no one who needs me to shed tears for her or him.

So, it's really strange... What's the purpose of crying?

.........bathroom........

"This is really outrageous." I said to myself while washing my face with water.