I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"No." She still looked clueless. "Why are you asking again?"

"No, it's okay." It was just a coincidence with bad taste. "She and I are just ordinary friends."

"That's a pretty unique answer. It seems like the relationship between you two is special." "Yes, it's the relationship between Class 3 and Class 5."

"I don't want to hear jokes." She interrupted me coldly, "Seriously, is that your girlfriend?"

"Not really." Why do people always subconsciously assume a man and a woman are in a relationship when they see them together? "I just helped her out."

"..Well, that's it." She didn't ask any more questions.

"What do you mean, just leave it at that."

"I'm just not interested in her anymore, so I'm asking you to do something for me." She held her index finger in front of my eyes, "Are you interested in joining me..."

"No." This kind of thing needs to be rejected decisively. No matter what the content is, just reject it first.

"You can't refuse." She was unmoved by my decisive refusal, "Because of what I wanted to experience at that time."

"Tsk...what's the matter?" I shouldn't have agreed to this with her. "As long as it's not too excessive."

“It won’t be too much~”

Chapter 8 As long as you are happy

Anyway, just don't trust Rin Hanekawa easily under normal circumstances. This guy never tells the truth unless he's in a very bad mood.

"I didn't hear that I had to leave the school to help you." I was running out of the school gate with Rin Hanekawa, who was using his identity as a student council member. "Isn't this a violation of school rules?"

"There were quite a few students who ran away during the chaos. The school won't pursue the matter anyway, so it doesn't matter." Is that something the student union president could say?

"I can accompany you to the banquet, but didn't you always go alone before? And wouldn't it be embarrassing for a country bumpkin like me who has never seen the world to go there? Also, I'm still in my school uniform..."

"What you're worried about isn't a big deal at all." Without a trace of panic, she led me to the luxury car I'd ridden in several times before opening the door and pushing me inside. "There's a set of clothes in the car. Come out after you've changed."

"..Since you have prepared so thoroughly, why don't you invite that guy with glasses from the student union? He obviously looks better than me..." Although he felt that it was useless to shirk responsibility now, he still tried his best.

"Shut up and go change." "Oh, okay."

.....

This is what they call being rich and powerful. After I changed my clothes, the hairstylist and makeup artist who accompanied me were already waiting outside. They came up and started dressing me without saying a word.

This situation immediately made me realize the heavy responsibility I shouldered, and I immediately felt a lot more nervous.

"I've already sent you the things you need to pay attention to." As soon as she finished speaking, my phone received an email. "Take this opportunity to remember them quickly, and don't embarrass me later."

“..Damn it.” This is the kind of thing I hate the most.

"This kind of colloquialism must be changed."

"I rarely say it normally." It's only when something really upsets me that I blurt it out. It's like this behavior that leaves me completely unprepared, and I don't know how to react.

"Don't even mention it once. What do you think this is?"

"Okay, okay, I was wrong." Then I opened my mobile email and looked at the densely packed precautions. I felt like my head had swelled many times larger.

"In short, this will definitely be a very unforgettable experience." She seemed full of anticipation...God knows what she was thinking.

"So what kind of party are we attending? Can I just ignore these things and choose not to speak?"

"Then why don't I take a mentally retarded person with me?" "Yes, why?" Why did you have to drag me with you?

"Don't be so nagging at me right now," she said, glancing at her phone. "It's almost time. Are you done yet?"

"alright--"

Following the makeup artist's response, I was pushed in front of Rin Hanekawa.

"Oh, it seems you are still quite pretty." She nodded with satisfaction.

"I shouldn't use my looks at a time like this..." It always sounded weird. "By the way, have I really become more handsome?"

"She is absolutely stunning. Okay, stop talking nonsense and get in the car, we are leaving." "Tsk..."

If I could do it again, I would never bother with her affairs again.

. . . . .

I don't really understand how the upper class actually lives. Perhaps it's because I've always lived a normal life that I have no interest or curiosity in such matters. How the rich live is their business, not mine. Even if I knew, they wouldn't share their money with me.

I find it strange that money can separate people. But it has been like this since the beginning. It's just that people used to be divided by power, but now, with the changes in society, capital has become the thing that divides people.

"We're here, let's get off."

".."

Possessing wealth means possessing resources. I believe these people have received an exceptional education since childhood. By the time I was first introduced to pop music, they might have already learned two or three instruments. By the time I picked up a pen to doodle in my textbook, they might have already developed a deep understanding of color sketching. By the time I was captivated by novels, they had probably already read many classics, both domestic and international. By the time I was struggling with Chinese, they might have already mastered other languages.

Even so, who can be more noble than who?

Walking down a spotless corridor, stepping over a red carpet that stretched from nowhere, the gleaming metallic chandelier disturbed my senses and thoughts. I didn't hear the neatly dressed waiter leading us to where, nor did I remember the things Rin Hanekawa had told me to pay attention to, let alone what was going to happen next.

It just felt like all of this was unreal. Even though it was happening, it didn't feel real at all.

"If it doesn't work, just improvise."

She seemed to have said a lot before, but I heard the last sentence. Maybe this is her minimum requirement for me... It doesn't matter.

...

As we drank and chatted, I seemed to begin to understand why she brought me here.

It was simple, indeed. Although she said things like, "I'll definitely be marrying into some company someday," and seemed to have given up on resistance, she was still unwilling to accept it. Besides, with her situation, it was impossible for anyone to not be interested. She was probably tired of being asked about her marriage intentions at every gathering.

The point of bringing me along was probably to shut them up. While this wasn't a very good idea for me, whenever Rin Hanekawa introduced me to someone, they'd show a barely perceptible surprise on their faces, chat for a few minutes, and then leave. All in all, my practical use wasn't significant—all they could do was replace me with a random, attractive man.

"...Please end it quickly." Honestly, I wasn't quite used to the atmosphere here, so I prayed sincerely in my heart that this process would be over as soon as possible. Honestly, I didn't think this would become a memory for her, because I had been doing my best to hide my presence and basically didn't communicate with others.

"Although you didn't say a word, that look of serious thought really fooled a group of people. Well done." She quietly leaned over and said to me while I was thinking. These words immediately made me feel very uncomfortable, but I had no chance to refute her.

"I told them you were a college student majoring in literature, minoring in philosophy, and also doing artistic creation. They actually believed me and said you had a different aura from ordinary people...tsk tsk."

As if providing me with information, she would come over and tell me about her conversations with those people. I couldn't tell whether she was deliberately trying to annoy me or just chatting me up because I was bored. If it was the latter, then thank you very much... I'm in a very good mood now.

"Hehehe..."

For Rin Hanekawa, this was as thrilling as flipping through comics in class. Forcing someone like me, with no talent or knowledge, into this kind of situation, and then deceiving a bunch of people... Yeah, that's right, for her, it was a real treat, a truly unforgettable, wonderful memory. For someone like her, who'd always been constrained, it felt like a fierce rebellion, incredibly exhilarating, and it also proved... that these kinds of parties were completely meaningless, and that the differences between people were hard to discern with the naked eye.

...

“It feels great!”

After it was over, Rin Hanekawa, who had just gotten into the car with me, shouted out in joy, as if he had accomplished something great.

"Yeah, yeah...it's really great."

I suddenly remembered a true story. A young architect, designing a palace, believed that a load-bearing column was unnecessary. However, the decision-makers at the time felt that this was unacceptable and insisted that the column be included. The architect reluctantly added the column, but it didn't connect to the roof, leaving a gap of several centimeters. The decision-makers were delighted, but it wasn't until a century later that others discovered that the column was completely useless.

There's no doubt that Rin Hanekawa is now that stubborn designer. She doesn't believe luxury is the best; otherwise, she wouldn't have come to my school, choosing instead a place with a better environment. What she values ​​isn't what most people value, and she desperately wants to prove it. If I've done anything wrong, it's probably that I've met her expectations too closely.

I was nothing but a tool for her to fight.

"..I can take off my clothes now."

"...Yeah, we have to go back to school too." She said as she got out of the car, "Remember to call me when you've changed."

"..Um."

What puzzles me is the exact emotion that's stirring within me right now. Logically, I shouldn't have any reaction to this, but I keep feeling... a murky yet simmering feeling deep within me.

"You don't have to come down to call me. We have to get on the bus and go back anyway." She said helplessly after seeing me standing behind her, "Let's go. Hurry and get in the bus."

"..There's nothing I can do to help now, so I can't sit."

"Huh?" She was confused by my reaction. Actually, I didn't understand either, but the reason was simple. I just had to go back to school, but I had no reason to accept her help, so I certainly didn't owe her a favor.

"I'll walk back by myself."

"What happened to you suddenly? You were fine at the beginning... I understand, are you carsick?" She said and was about to ask someone to bring medicine.

"It's not motion sickness." I interrupted her hastily.

"Then what's wrong with you? It's on the way anyway. Besides, you took the same ride before, so it doesn't matter this time." She still didn't understand what I meant.

"I was with you before because I wanted to help you do something you liked. And I didn't ask you to see me off last time I left, so it's the same this time."

Perhaps this is what's called self-respect. Even if I lack something and others can provide it, I still won't take it if it doesn't belong to me. Many people scoff at this, calling it pretentiousness. But I really don't want to accept favors easily. The more distant the relationship, the more I want to draw a clear line.

"You are such a strange person."

"I'm not surprised."

She was an unattainable existence for me. Even though I was fortunate enough to see aspects of her that were unknown to ordinary people, and even though I felt that I understood her feelings little by little, the distance between us did not shorten.

"Well, since you put it that way, I can't just ask someone to carry you to the car." She looked at the car parked nearby that was full of bodyguards, "Since you don't want to sit, I won't force you."

"..Um."

"By the way, isn't my request a bit unreasonable?" She suddenly stopped me just as I was about to turn and leave, raising a question I thought she would never realize.

"Yes."

She is indeed a willful person. Many people do not have the courage to think and do what she wants, which I really admire. And I don't hate the kind of personality that uses many people to achieve their own goals. So,

"But I won't refuse your request."

Why would I go to such lengths for someone so far away? I questioned my original self, but I couldn't find an answer. Actually, I didn't need an answer, because I knew the reason. Often, this is why I do things that have absolutely no benefit to me.

“..” She seemed to be thinking.

"Then what do you want from me?" She finally couldn't help but ask me the question that had been bothering her. "You must want to cooperate with me for some reason, right? I've been waiting for you to tell me what you want. Whether it's money or something else, as long as you tell me, I can give it to you..."

"Although I've always been giving something...I seem to have given up on receiving anything from others." Even a thank you would make me feel painful. "If I had to say what I hope for, then I do have one thing...about you."

"What?"

"..I hope you can find the happiness you desire." "Huh?"

She has strong doubts about this answer... Then let me explain it again.

"If this wish is too extravagant, then I hope that when you feel depressed in the future, you can have some memories that make you happy. Although there is still a big gap between happiness and joy, it is at least better than having nothing..."

"I'm asking you what you hope for! Why are you bringing this up with me?!"

She didn't seem satisfied with my answer.

"Because I don't have anything I hope to get. Even if I do, it's not something I can get from you. So I don't consider what I can get from you."

"...Who do you think you are? A saint? And you're saying you hope I'll be happy... Stop pretending to be nice! You must have an ulterior motive, right?! Speak out!" She said, swerving towards the car where those people were. "Get out of here! Don't listen!"

"..."

"No one's here now." With a command from Rin Yukawa, the bodyguards and driver left. Only the two of us were left standing in the underground parking lot. "Tell me, what are you planning? No matter the price, the item, or the woman or man you want, I can get them for you!"

"..."

"Isn't that weird?! Why don't you ask for anything? You're really weird, so weird... You're so different from everyone I've met so far. How could you possibly not want anything? Let me give you something, or else... otherwise, wouldn't it seem like I'm being pitied by you? Do I look pathetic?!"

"..."

Why can't people feel pity for people who can't control their own destiny, can't decide who they like, and can't do what they like?

"Ah."

"...You..." As if it was my fault, the tears that had been lingering in her eyes finally flowed down, "Why do I have to be pitied by a guy like you..."

".."

"..I've been trying...trying to convince myself...to accept it calmly...but you always use your actions to tell me...how wonderful my life would be if I didn't replace Linquanchuan."

"..."

"I'm not willing to give up... I really am not willing to give up... I also want to do those things as I please... Anyway, I have so much money, why can't I do what I like? Why does my family already have so much money, but I still want more and more... No, I know the answers to these questions..." She kept wiping away her tears, "I repeatedly told myself... I can't be willful, I can't be willful, because I'm already a mature person... But you always tell me... Ah, do what you like, it's okay to be willful occasionally..."

"..."

"It's all your fault... If it weren't you... wouldn't I be able to erase my resentment? Wouldn't I be able to leave here without any disturbance? Wouldn't I be able to abandon all the things that I care about? Why..."

"Because once you abandon the things you care about, you're no longer your true self. You've already compromised with reality and surrendered... I think that's irresponsible to yourself and a disqualification as a human being."

When people give up important things, they become inhuman individuals.

"..."

"I don't want you to regain your weakness, nor do I want you to give up your responsibilities, your spirit of resistance, or all the praiseworthy qualities you possess. Instead, I hope you can keep these in mind and change the difficulties you have to face."

The road ahead would surely be difficult for her, but it would be a grave mistake to abandon something she cherished in an attempt to lighten her burden. She had nothing to begin with, let alone give it up.