I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Of course, it's to understand your daily behavior. And then I noticed that you lack exercise."

“…” I opened my mouth but no words came out.

"So, Sheji, you should move around more and keep yourself more energetic. This will help prevent you from falling asleep in class."

"Thank you for your kindness. I will consider it." That being said, I will definitely not do any exercise.

For me, wasting energy in vain is a crime.

"I don't have any enthusiasm. How can I enjoy the vitality of youth?" Lin Yi shook his head.

This is completely meaningless nonsense.

"So, what exactly are you going to do, squad leader?"

I said to her somewhat coldly.

"Well," Lin Yi frowned and thought for a moment: "I always feel that you, Sheji, are different from other students. Others eat together, go home together, play together, etc., but you don't have such companions."

"Yeah, so what?"

I didn’t eat or play with him, but I did go home with Yehui.

"So I think you should use the same passion you had for Rinsen River during the training camp to find friends for yourself."

Looking at Lin Yi's expectant expression and the innocence in his eyes, I couldn't help but sigh and asked.

"Squad leader, you have a lot of friends, right?"

"Huh? Ah, yes." She seemed not to expect that I would ask back, and showed a slightly puzzled expression.

"Then there's nothing much to discuss between us. We're from different classes, so our perspectives are different. Your theories and practices don't apply to me."

"Class...it's not that serious, right?" Lin Yi asked helplessly.

"Small differences can lead to different life paths, not to mention that everyone's family circumstances are different." I paused. "Having a sense of responsibility is a good thing, but I think it's better not to be overly involved in other people's affairs."

"Oh," Lin Yi said with a look of sudden enlightenment, "Are you telling me not to ask you why you stayed up late?"

"I didn't say that! How did you come to this conclusion?"

"So what exactly are you going to tell me?"

"this..."

Honestly, I don't want to dampen Lin Yi's enthusiasm, nor do I want to change her somewhat overly enthusiastic sense of responsibility. But being in such frequent contact with such an enthusiastic person, I'm really worried about being infected...

"Well, you see, I'm not lively, I don't fit in, and I'm even annoying. So, class monitor, who has a lot of friends, it's best if you don't get involved with me. What if you get infected by my negative energy?"

"It's okay," Lin Yi said to me confidently, "I only contacted you to help you get out of this situation."

"No need," I rubbed my forehead, "I never thought about getting rid of this situation."

"Huh? Why? Don't you hate being alone?"

"Not at all."

"Don't you want to enjoy campus life with your friends?"

"It doesn't matter..."

"You are..."

"Squad leader, listen to me." I looked at Lin Yi, who was looking puzzled, with what I thought was a very serious expression.

"Not everyone has the same lifestyle as you. I'm used to this life, so I don't expect or want to change. I feel bad that you don't care about my thoughts and just want me to get rid of my accustomed lifestyle."

"But..." Lin Yi did not continue speaking, but changed the question.

"So, what led you to the lifestyle you have now?"

Just as I was about to answer, Lin Yi interrupted me: "No need to answer. I'm sorry for my unreasonable behavior. Maybe I took other people's affairs too lightly."

"..."

"Well, let's talk again when we have a chance."

..................................

It seems that Lin Yi really understood something, but she couldn't understand it completely because she is not me.

Everyone's living habits and attitude towards things are formed by the little things encountered in life, and then change little by little.

Everything happens for a reason. How did I become what I am now?

Well... since Lin Yi's casual conversation brought back memories, I might as well recall my life more than ten years ago when I was still qualified, my life that gradually collapsed as I got older, and the reasons why I advocated giving up.

...............................

I'm really sorry for delaying the update~

Now we are going to enter the [Memories] chapter!

This chapter will tell the story of Yi Sheji's childhood, elementary school and junior high school.

Please give me your support.

And I will definitely not delay updates this excessively in the future! Sorry, sorry.

In the light

Chapter 14 [Memories] In the Light

"I like the sun because it brings warmth and light to everyone. I also want to be like that person, but I certainly can't be as dazzling as the sun, so I can only be like a light bulb, trying my best to illuminate the darkness that the sun can't reach."

Selected from: Yi Sheji's diary when he was in the third grade of elementary school.

................【Grade 4】...................

Ever since I became determined to uphold justice, I often feel exhausted on my way home.

Yes, I am fighting against some bad behaviors. Because of the struggle, getting hurt is inevitable. This should be the price of being a hero.

Oh, the injuries on my face and legs hurt even more when I think about them. Damn it, it's happened so many times, can't my body get used to such minor injuries?

Enduring the pain, he knocked on the familiar door of his home step by step.

"Welcome back." My father, wearing an apron, welcomed me with a smile and carried me, who was injured, to the sofa.

"Are you going to seek justice again today?"

After putting me on the sofa, he turned and went into the kitchen, but did not forget to ask me while cooking.

"Yeah." I answered briefly and picked up the alcohol and cotton swabs that were prepared on the table.

"Oh, can you disinfect the wound yourself?" Dad came out of the kitchen and sat next to me.

"That's right...hiss..." I couldn't help but gasp because of the irritation of the alcohol on the wound.

"Actually, you can use iodine. It won't hurt as much when you apply it on the wound." Dad said, looking at a bottle of brown medicine in the cabinet.

"No, it will look ugly after it's painted on."

"Hey..." Dad reached out and stroked my head twice, "Who are you fighting this time?"

"Xiyang and Daxiong." I replied.

"Hey? Aren't they your friends? Why?" Dad asked me in surprise.

"Because they caught a sparrow and I wanted them to release it, but they refused. Besides, it's impossible for me to be friends with them."

"Why should we let them release the little sparrow?"

Is there any need to ask?

"If I don't let it go, the sparrow will definitely be killed by them. I can't accept that."

"Yeah." Dad nodded. "That's called caring for the weak, right? It really is a heroic character."

"No." I shook my head and turned on the TV.

"Isn't it?"

"No." I turned to a familiar channel, and it was playing Animal World.

The lion is hunting its prey.

"Look," I said, pointing at the TV, "lions kill to survive. Compared to lions, buffaloes seem weak, but I don't think it's cruel because lions kill to eat. Big Bear and Xiyang, on the other hand, acted purely for their own pleasure. That's why I can't accept it."

"......" Dad didn't say anything, but just reached out and touched my head again.

"Actually, you can try to reason with them. I've said this many times..."

Before my dad could finish, I interrupted him: "[Winning the enemy without fighting], right?"

"Hmm~" Dad smiled helplessly.

"If people could recognize their mistakes through reasoning, there would be no need for police."

"Yes, yes, my Sheji is smart and more sensible than other children." Dad stood up and said, "The meal is ready, go wash your hands and get ready to eat."

"Okay~" I said and stood up.

At this moment, there was a knock on the door.

"Is Yi Sheji at home?"

I know this voice very well. It's Big Bear's mother, one of the people I really hate.

"Oh, it seems you need to hide for a while." Dad said to me with a smile.

I made an "OK" gesture to him and went into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Sheji hasn't come back yet. I was just about to go look for him."

As soon as the door opened, my dad showed off his Oscar-winning acting skills. He is indeed my dad.

"What do you want from our family?"

"Look at how your Sheji beat our Daxiong. Can you discipline your children properly?!" What an annoying loud voice.

"I'm really sorry. I'll bring Sheji to apologize to you." Dad seemed to be talking to Big Bear, "Did you have a quarrel?"

"No!" Mother Bear answered on behalf of Big Bear.

"Our Daxiong and Xiyang were playing peacefully on the side of the road, and your Sheji rushed over and beat them up."

Nonsense, they were the ones who started the fight first, and I didn't just rush over to fight them. I still tried to reason with them, but they didn't listen to my advice.

"Look at your family, they're always fighting and causing trouble. What will happen when they grow up?"

You should take care of your own children first.

"Yeah, I have a headache too."

"Children should not be spoiled. They should be taught a lesson."

"Don't worry, I'll deal with him as soon as Sheji comes back." Then my father seemed to walk into the kitchen and get something.

"Hey, this is Sheji's favorite snack. I'm giving it to you as a punishment."

"How embarrassing."

I don't think you're embarrassed.

"It's okay. It's normal for children to be naughty and fight, but parental education is also important. And the conflict doesn't just happen on one side. I think when something like this happens, shouldn't both of us reflect on our own shortcomings?"

"What do you mean? Are you saying that our Big Bear is also wrong?!" He looked like he was about to have a quarrel.

"That's not what I meant. I meant that you might have some problems with your education."

"How am I wrong? What do you know? It's obviously my fault for not taking good care of the child!"

"Then there's nothing more to say. I still have to continue cooking. Let's end our conversation here. See you next time."

After saying that, he quickly closed the door.

"Okay, Sheji, come out and eat." Dad said in a relieved tone.

"It's really tiring. You're right. It's better to just fight than to reason with an unreasonable guy."

After a pause, he said, "But I think I'm past the age where fighting like you won't cause any trouble."

"Yeah." I didn't say anything and went straight to the kitchen.