I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"..."

Even before officially setting foot on the path, I'm already anticipating the peak. Is talent really that important? I just don't feel it's tangible.

"There's still a long way to go, and it's going to be expensive."

"The money issue isn't that important."

Anyway, since my family hasn't objected, it means they will be responsible for my future expenses.

“The more you learn about this aspect, the more you will be impressed by what it contains.”

"Something?" I am always sensitive to this kind of words.

"Well, because things like art are based on feelings, it's hard to explain. So if you like a certain art form, you must be attracted to something in it."

“…I’m attracted.”

When I repeated this sentence, the scene when I was flipping through Ye Hui's drawing board suddenly emerged in my mind.

"It seems that you have almost understood what attracts you?"

“...Well.” It was indeed an inexplicable reason.

"But no matter what, the creative process is ultimately lonely. Although many people find joy in painting, I still feel that painting cannot relieve loneliness. But I can gradually get used to it, get used to that sense of tranquility."

"I'm sorry... I don't quite understand."

Maybe it's because I've just started in this field.

"It doesn't matter if you don't understand." She handed my sketchpad back to me, "As long as you reach that level, you will gradually realize it."

I originally just wanted to give it a try, but now I have developed a strong interest in something that is gradually becoming clear in my hand.

"If this is how I can gradually get used to that feeling... then maybe my choice to paint was not wrong."

As he was talking to himself like this, he suddenly realized that the distance between him and her seemed to be gradually shrinking.

Gradually stagnant drift

At some point, the clamor in my ears gradually quieted down. Every time I picked up my brush, that feeling deepened. As I learned more, the more I wanted to depict.

From that moment on, I've been immersed in it constantly. If I were to ask myself what talent I possess, someone who's been completely devoid of personality since birth... it's probably that once I find something that can relieve boredom, I'll relentlessly pursue it until I find the next alternative. I'm not sure how to even begin to define this personality type anymore.

“It’s progressing so fast.”

"...Yeah." Facing Ye Hui's sigh, I didn't know how to express my humility. After thinking for a moment, I told him the truth about my situation, "Because I spend a lot of time painting."

Whether it's the time I was promised to use freely at school, or the time I used to spend playing games in my free time, or even when I was daydreaming, I would occasionally think of where and how to draw. Just like when I was obsessed with memorizing trivial knowledge points, I am now repeating the same behavior. As long as I pick up something that can leave a mark, I will automatically add something to the blank space.

"...Don't you feel tired?" She didn't understand.

Perhaps it wasn't confusion, but rather concern for my behavior. But what good would such a worry do to someone like me? Putting myself in someone else's shoes, it seemed like there was no benefit at all. So I assumed it was just a casual expression.

"Probably not."

The reason I say this is because my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of what I want to draw, so full that I can't tell whether my body is starting to feel bored or not.

I don't know when it started, but I began to resist focusing on myself.

"Perhaps...this statement is too strange, isn't it?"

"Is it weird? Well, whatever."

Whether strange or normal, everything is tolerated by this world. And the reason why the world cannot tolerate strange things is entirely human's fault.

To be precise, it is the fault of the majority of people who stop at the daily routine and refuse to move forward.

"I can understand why you're trying so hard, Sheji."

"Can you understand?"

Even so, I still find it hard to believe that others can understand my thoughts. Even my parents, who have lived with me for over a decade, can't fully understand my thoughts... How can someone I've only known for a few days possibly understand my thoughts?

This is just a slight consolation.

As I understood it this way, a smile suddenly appeared on the corner of my mouth.

【Love】 Gradually stagnant drifting

The mountains in the distance seemed to be permanently shrouded in a layer of mist that even the constant cold wind could not blow away.

"what..."

After a bumpy and winding mountain road, my brain, which had been drowsy from the journey, finally became a little clearer in the cold wind. If I wasn't careful, the cold wind would flow through the gaps in my neck, forcing me to pull the scarf around my neck higher.

"not bad..."

Temperature aside, the environment here is indeed much better than my city. The reason I chose to go to this place, surrounded by mountains, rivers, and trees, was because my painting class organized a field sketching activity. I didn't have much of a problem with it; after all, I preferred being somewhere that made me feel a little better than wasting time in a stuffy school.

Now I am following everyone on the way to the hotel.

Looking out, there's a man-made dam not far away. Due to the season, only a tiny amount of water flows through it now... This might be a good place for sketching.

With a suitcase full of clothes in hand and a drawing board and paints on my back, I seemed to completely ignore the low temperature. Thinking about what to do next, I didn't pay much attention to accommodation arrangements.

Anyway, I don’t have any particularly good relationships with anyone in this class. As long as I don’t provoke them, live there peacefully for a week and hand in my homework every day, everything should be fine.

As I was thinking this, a familiar figure appeared in the corner of my eye.

"Oh, you're here too."

I greeted Ye Hui out of habit, even though there were quite a few people between us.

"Huh? I didn't notice you before? Were you in another bus?" Ye Hui also looked unrestrained and began to push through the crowd to move towards me.

"Probably... I was feeling a bit uncomfortable in the car, so I might not have noticed you."

"Is everything okay now?" She still worried about others as always.

"Ah, much better." I said, patting the drawing board behind me. "Now I really want to paint."

After all, there are still many things worth drawing here.

"You're really full of fighting spirit... Well, hurry up and find your own dorm. We'll talk about the rest during our free time."

"Oh."

After waving goodbye to her, I found my dormitory. When I opened the door, I found three pairs of eyes staring at me, which made me feel nervous.

"...Wh...what happened?"

First, you need to confirm whether you have done something wrong.

"You..." "You..." "You are really amazing."

"what?"

I'm increasingly confused by their criteria for what constitutes "greatness." If being ordinary is a talent, then perhaps I can truly be called remarkable.

"I can actually make that Yehui talk to you."

"...Uh?" In my impression, she doesn't seem to be the kind of person who is taciturn.

"And it was the first time I saw her smile at someone else."

"Ah..." In my memory, she showed me that kind of smile quite many times.

"Why on earth? He's clearly painting very seriously in the studio and doesn't seem to be getting close to anyone else, so why is he so close to you?"

"..."

Is this how she appears to others? It was so different from the image I had in my head that I couldn't react for a moment.

"Are you her relative?" "Have you known each other since childhood?" "Are you from the same school?"

"...We're just from the same school." Dealing with this group of curious people was really tiring. "Besides, this level of conversation is normal, right?"

"It's normal, but she doesn't seem to like talking to other people in the studio." "Yeah, even the girls don't have any close relationships." "Yeah, you're really lucky to be assigned to the same school as her."

"..."

If luck exists in the world, then I think being born is a kind of luck. So, is meeting or being connected with someone a kind of luck? Maybe, but I don't have enough experience and knowledge to verify it at the moment.

Maybe I'm not that lucky.

Although I wanted to say this, it probably wouldn't have any effect on this group of people. So I didn't argue and found my own bed.

...

If there is such a thing as luck in the world, then I think I am quite lucky to be able to find a place selling hot drinks on this road with only beautiful scenery around.

Today's assignment was to draw four scenes from my surroundings. However, after dinner, no one else in the dorm, except me, showed any interest in leaving. I tried to excuse myself by saying it was too cold, but...it was a rare opportunity to visit a place like this, so staying stuck in the hotel wasn't an option.

"Tsk... looks like it's still a long way off."

As a compromise, I ultimately decided to photograph the scenery I wanted to paint and then bring it to the hotel to paint. While filming, I suddenly noticed more buildings in the distance, seemingly selling various goods. I concluded that they must have what I was looking for... Surely people here wouldn't be drinking milk tea or something? The facilities here are quite complete, and I can even connect to the internet on my phone. It's like a city surrounded by mountains.

“But the prices will definitely be a bit higher…”

After all, we had a bumpy ride getting here, not to mention how difficult it was for the cargo to get here. Mumbling to myself, I found a good view and pressed the shutter.

"This one feels..." Before I could sigh, the photo album interface on my phone was abruptly replaced by the call interface. Incidentally, my phone's address book is almost exclusively filled with family members... the only outsider is Ye Hui, the person I interact with most at school. And this call was from Ye Hui.

"..Are you looking for me?"

When I received the call, I suddenly remembered that I had agreed to meet in the afternoon. However, thanks to the cold wind that still penetrated the seams and weak spots of my clothes, I had completely forgotten the appointment by the time I stepped out of the hotel.

"Yes, I'm out now. What about you? Are you still in your room?" Ye Hui's calm voice came from the other side.

From what I know about her, she's the type who would forgive me even if I stood her up. But for some reason, when I learn how others perceive her, I feel a little uneasy.

"No... I've already headed north." I suddenly realized, "Um, sorry. It's not far from the hotel. I'll be waiting for you by the roadside."

"What's wrong? Why are you suddenly so nervous?"

His tone couldn't help but become tense, it was really strange.

"Nothing, I almost forgot to wait for you." He had no desire to make excuses.

"It's okay, it's okay~ I'll come to you now."

It doesn't sound like it's angry.

This is what I'm wondering about... Why didn't Ye Hui, who has absolutely no interest in others and doesn't like to talk to others, treat me coldly when we first met? If she hadn't smiled at me when I opened that door, would I still have chosen this path? To me, the answer to this question should be simple.

However, Ye Hui didn't give me much time to think. Perhaps because she didn't want me to wait in this weather, she trotted into my sight.

"It's really cold today." Before she even stopped walking, she started talking to me, "Where are you going?"

I watched the white mist exhaled from her cherry lips until it gradually disappeared before responding.

"In the town not far away...it's very cold now, I think we should be able to find a milk tea shop or something."

"That's it..."

"Take some pictures for your homework," I said, showing her the pictures on my phone. "I took a lot while I was waiting for you."

"Doing homework? You're really taking your time, Sheji~"

"Oh, I got it wrong... Actually, we should buy milk tea while we're at it." Speaking of which, what she really cared about was...

"It's okay. It's rare to come to a place like this, so it's understandable that you want to relax first." She showed me her empty hands and said, "Look, I don't have anything either."

"...The weather is very cold, so it's better to wear gloves." I couldn't help but remind her when I saw her slender hands exposed to the cold wind.

Otherwise, my hands would get frostbitten and I wouldn’t be able to paint.

"Oh, I almost forgot." After hearing my reminder, she took out black woolen gloves from her windbreaker pocket. "I really forget. Anyway, it's really lucky that you noticed it."

"Ahaha..." I could only offer a polite smile at this.

So she was wearing gloves before? Yeah, I think so... Well, I can't quite remember. But now, honestly, I don't think it would be a good idea to admit that I didn't pay much attention to it.

"Then let's go quickly." She reminded me after putting on her gloves.

"Ah."

Even though I answered calmly, a new level of uneasiness was creeping into my heart. This was completely different from the time we spent together at school... Was it because I knew more about her? Should I be happy now, or something else?

"You're walking a little too fast. I can't seem to keep up..."

"Ah, sorry."