I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...That's true."

Once I create a character, it's like they have their own life and story... they're no longer subject to my control. If I were to decide their fate based on a whim or impulse, that would be... really bad.

"Ah... Is this considered tenderness?"

"...gentle?"

"I care about people who only exist on paper, I feel like they really exist... I put myself in their shoes. This is definitely not what a commercial writer should do."

"..."

Just apply the template.

Just like processing products in a factory, replacing one's hands with machines to produce those formal works... Is treating creation as a commodity really a good thing? I don't know, but this is the approach that the times require.

Being needed is acceptable, but it's not necessarily good. I'll never change this thought. Things created by various needs don't exist meaninglessly, but that doesn't mean things needed by most people are valuable.

...How should I spend the rest of my life?

I don't know the answer to this kind of thing.

As snowflakes drift down from the sky, they never think about what they're going to do, do they? They simply want to fall. Whether they're trampled, left on the eaves to await the spring sunshine, the source of disaster, or the inspiration of poets... their location is beyond their control.

But unlike snowflakes, whose only movement depends on the wind, I at least have the right to choose. I need to exercise this right... I no longer want to follow the crowd, no longer want to brave the current, I just want to live a life so ordinary that it fades from people's sight.

"...ah..."

My heart is beating so fast.

What I'm about to say might change the course of the rest of my life. And, though I'm not good at talking to others, I have countless words piled up inside me right now.

Inhale. As I inhale, the cold air continues to enter my warm lungs, which makes me feel a little uncomfortable. But I can't care less now, because I want to shout out her name!

"inflammation..."

"Isn't this Mr. Sheji?"

"Puff——" A familiar sound suddenly came from behind me, and the breath I had just prepared was suddenly interrupted.

"Xiaoye!? Why are you here?"

I whipped my head around and found she was right behind me. Her clothes were still simple and beautiful. The only difference was that she didn't seem to have dyed her hair again, and now there were a few strands of white mixed in with her black hair.

This image looks... quite dreamy.

"...I just went out, now it's time to go home..." She stared at me, "Are you here to see me?"

Although I wanted to back off a little, I knew I couldn't hesitate any longer.

"Yes."

"But I'm no longer your editor." She looked a little embarrassed.

"What I want to say has nothing to do with who we are. Besides, I'm planning to finish the work I'm working on soon."

"Eh? It's finished...why?" She seemed quite concerned about that work. "Are you planning to start a new book?"

"There's no need to write anymore," I responded calmly. "I won't be writing a new book. I'm stepping away from writing."

"Why? You've finally gained so much popularity. And recently, you've become an all-around writer who's good at both writing and drawing... You're clearly at the peak of your career, so why stop?"

"That kind of thing... what's the point if I'm not with you!"

said it.

"...Eh?"

"I'm regretting why I kept looking ahead and leaving you behind. Aren't all those things possible because of your help? Without you, I'd just be a second-rate cartoonist!"

Yes, I asked myself that question when I was examining myself.

No matter what, you have already lived your life, so why do you have to move forward?

"But...I lied to you too, didn't I?"

"That kind of thing is irrelevant... Compared to a real editor who only pushes me towards commercialization, I find a fake person like you who suddenly barged in more approachable."

"..."

"How bold of you to lie about being an editor or something. If I were a bad guy, you'd be in trouble."

"How could that be? I know you are a gentle and kind person, Mr. Sheji." She smiled at me brightly.

"No! I'm not a good person. If you think I'm a considerate and gentle guy, you're totally wrong! I was blinded by the high royalties. Because you taught me so much, I thought I no longer needed you... I'm just a selfish bastard. I shouldn't have met you again!"

"..No, I just hope that Mr. Sheji's work will get better and better, and that you can live a happy life. So you don't have to worry about me at all, just do what you should do..."

"You're really bad at lying..."

I sighed and looked at her face which seemed to be about to cry but still trying to remain calm.

"..."

"If you want to complain about me, go ahead."

"No... Actually, it's not because I want to complain. It's just... when you decided to leave me, the Mr. Sheji in my mind had already become... an ordinary guy who can be found anywhere. At that time, I was no longer important to you, and you were no longer admired by me."

"..."

"Becoming a stranger is...it's so painful." Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes. "I've always wanted to forget our experiences together...but when I saw your work becoming increasingly popular, Mr. Sheji, I couldn't help but feel happy for you...I'm really strange. Logically, I should be angry, but...I just can't be angry with Mr. Sheji no matter what."

"..."

"You're so cunning... It's all your fault for always listening to my troubles and helping me unravel my inner thoughts, isn't it? If you didn't understand people's hearts, I wouldn't be able to forget you so easily, right?"

Yes, I'm a cunning guy.

Although I hadn't intended to trust her from the beginning, I didn't question her, and gradually gained various benefits from her. Like a parasite, I was a scumbag who only wanted to take from her... I wasn't the considerate and gentle person she thought I was, the one who could solve other people's problems. I just said a few nice words.

"...I'm sorry... I want to apologize a lot, but I think it won't work without taking concrete action."

Why on earth is this happening? Why do I feel like this will compensate for the hurt she's suffered?

"...actual action?"

Where will the road lead from now on? I've always wondered. When I finally reached that supposedly high point, I suddenly realized the world wasn't as beautiful as I'd imagined. If I had any self-awareness, I'd still choose that initial height.

The moment the perspective suddenly dropped, I saw her surprised expression.

"Eh hey hey? Mr. Sheji doesn't need to kneel!"

"This is not kneeling!" If it's just kneeling on one knee, doesn't she understand the meaning?

"...Huh? Could it be..."

"That's right, it's exactly what you imagined!" I said, pulling out an exquisite box from my pocket, then opened it and held it in front of her. "...Although it seems that a lot of steps were omitted in the middle... But, how should I put it... Anyway, this is it, for you... for you."

"..."

"Ah..." Because of shyness and guilt, although I did the movements, the lines were completely wrong!

"Hahaha... hehe, hahaha..." Xiao Ye suddenly laughed out loud. "Mr. Sheji has really changed... he's no longer so stubborn, and he's restraining himself by adult standards... his actions are full of unexpected surprises. This is the Mr. Sheji I admire."

"..Although I am a few years older than you, you don't have to call me Mr. Sheji all the time, right? It makes me seem like I am a dozen years older than you." I responded helplessly.

"But...if you don't tell me what you're thinking, I don't understand what you mean by this." She looked at me seriously. "Are you just giving me a decoration?"

“Huh…?!”

It must have been intentional, it's so obvious... But that's also my fault for not saying any romantic lines. But then again, this was my first time doing this, so there was no script or rehearsal... I was hoping for a surprise attack to create an unexpected effect, but now it's all useless.

"...No, it's not something as simple as a decoration!"

My face hadn't blushed in nearly a decade, and now I remembered this function again. It was like a first confession, mixed with the long-lost youthful atmosphere, and the throbbing of love was now transforming into true love.

"I just want you to stay with me forever."

"Just to be with you?"

"..." It's come to this, why are you still not giving in?

“And… and…”

"Hmm?" She leaned closer.

"Marry...marry me, okay?"

"Hmm...will it work..." She just frowned and pretended to think, "What if you abandon me again?"

"That's impossible. Without you, I can't sleep well anymore, and I'm restless all day... If this continues, I might die early."

"...Don't say such unlucky words."

"People won't die because of a single word. However, a heart can be almost fatally wounded by a single word or a single person. I know exactly what I did, but I don't know how to make amends... Maybe this was just a very... very despicable method. However, I still hope that you, Xiaoye, can forgive my mistakes. I will spend a lot of time making amends for those things."

"..."

"So..."

"No need to say more, I promise you."

As she spoke, she had already taken off the glove on her left hand, revealing her slender fingers in front of me.

"Put it on for me."

...his mind was as blank as if a heavy snowfall had fallen upon him. If he were acting on instinct, it would be too miraculous.

Anyway, I put the ring on her ring finger.

"You are not allowed to leave me alone again." She said with a reassuring smile.

"of course not."

"You are not allowed to...put your heart close to anyone other than me."

"Of course."

I will never fall in love with any other girl except her.

"And...what else?"

"...I'll think about it later. Can I stand up now?"

Although proposing with snowflakes falling from the sky might seem romantic to others, when you actually do it, it's a bit...uncomfortable.

"Oh, it's ready." Xiaoye, who had just noticed that I was still kneeling on one knee, felt a little embarrassed. "However, since I have made this decision, I must be prepared to convince my parents."

"Eh... I've considered this..." But I still wasn't sure what to do. "But I haven't figured out how to say it yet."

"No problem, as long as you can do as I say."

"..."

She always guides me in the direction of progress and change.

What was it about me that attracted her to me? Maybe I was just lucky, or maybe it was destiny... But no matter the process or the reason, now I have finally begun to pursue my own happiness without any resistance and with complete obedience.

"Thank you. Without you... I might never have been able to recognize myself. I wouldn't have been able to see my own value."

This is my heartfelt gratitude.

"It's pointless to say this now, right? If you dwell on the past and feel too guilty, you'll no longer be yourself... I hope you can be the best version of yourself."

"...Then, let's go on a date." Since she said that, "I'll take you to a dessert shop, a movie theater, or anywhere else."

"Ah... Although it's very sudden, it's okay." She sighed and smiled helplessly, "Anyway, I'm still very much looking forward to it."

"Oh~"

Perhaps I should think of the process of achieving happiness as simpler and simpler. If she wants to experience the complicated process of the world with me, then I will experience it with her.

With this experience, I shouldn't make the same mistake again...at least not when it comes to issues concerning her.

Long time no see, but you are still calm

I'm not familiar with other aspects, but... there are only two types of in-game techniques. The first is conventional, established strategies, whether it's cheat codes or move lists in arcade games, or the various combinations of effects in card games. Among the dozens of possible moves, there's always a character or move that's applicable in most situations, hence the categorization of mainstream and non-mainstream. The strength of individual characters and cards often determines victory in a game—but putting those aside, the second factor is the player's individual skill.

Never underestimate the power of a character. Throughout gaming history, countless individuals have been lauded for their skill. And the buzz in arcades isn't about which character is the best, but whose control is the best. It seems that skills that require a significant investment of effort and time to perfect are far more satisfying to players than those that can be mastered by anyone.

No matter what game it is, who wants to be manipulated by others? The character you control is just like you, and in a world where there are limitations everywhere, at least games offer a little freedom. While some people might cheat... that's fine with me.

"If only it were faster..."