I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

...did I do anything wrong? Yeah, I did do a lot, but it seems like that's all in the past.

"..." So I could only look at her with an innocent expression.

"..." She stared at me for a long moment, then sighed deeply and smiled helplessly, "I really can't stand you."

"ha..."

"You asked me out specifically, and yet you're just wandering around in this weather on the street... No, this isn't even a street." She glanced at the highway stretching out in the distance. "Are you just wandering around in a place like this?"

"..."

"And you said such unromantic words. If it was you before, I could understand it... But now, you shouldn't say such things to me."

After she said this, she looked at me with an indescribable look.

"..."

I should be very familiar with those eyes.

Because those eyes, from the very beginning, have held a gentle expression towards me... and it's always been like that. Every time I see that look, I feel a warm current swirling through my heart... like sleepiness, or the comfort of relaxation.

I love this feeling. No burden at all... It's like I don't have to worry about anything. It's a relaxed and happy atmosphere.

If... I really have to face various choices in life in the future, how long can this feeling last?

"Sheji, you should have something more important to say to me."

"..."

Today, her eyes are still gentle. But I can sense a hint of darkness in them. Yes, she seems to be thinking about the same thing as me.

"I...I do have something important to say."

My heart began to beat violently, pumping blood laced with hormones and adrenaline through my body. I could clearly feel my cheeks getting hot, and I was even sweating in this slightly cold weather.

"..."

She didn't push me for an answer. That was all she did, always treating me with gentleness. As if she could forgive anything I did...

Tenderness is a precious thing.

It is because the world is so cruel that gentle people are so precious.

If parents are gentle to their children because of blood, then what is the relationship between me and her? If we are just friends, then she will be so gentle to someone like me...

"I... used to be very gentle to someone." I slowly turned my gaze away from her face. For some reason, I didn't want to face her when I told her this story. "But after all the things that happened... I began to question the meaning of being gentle."

Yehui should know about my story, but she still listened quietly, as if she was hearing it for the first time.

"School always teaches us all kinds of rules and makes us believe that the world is a beautiful place. But you and I both know that this is not the case."

"..."

"That's why I feel that people who can exude gentleness in every gesture must be incredibly strong and beautiful."

"The state..."

"So... so, well..." I suddenly felt very nervous and couldn't help but cough twice. "Ahem, how should I put it? It's just that... I don't meet many people, but only Ye Hui... is like this. You can make me feel extremely happy and joyful, and you are very gentle."

A slight blush appeared on Ye Hui's fair cheeks. Although his expression was happy, he was still a little shy... Fortunately, no one else around heard what I said, otherwise I would definitely be too nervous and shy to say the next part.

"I've been replaying the past in my mind these past few days... The time I spent with you was truly joyful. Truly, when I recall those memories, a smile always graces my face. Although my mind keeps questioning whether they were real, my body won't lie... Our memories won't change. I was planning to give up so many things and live my life with a shadow of gloom. If I hadn't met you, I'm afraid my life would have been completely different."

"..."

"So, whenever I think about the upcoming college entrance exams, university, and my future, my emotions become quite complicated, and anxiety sets in. I start to worry about all sorts of things... and then I can't help but complain about everything, want to deny myself, and think about giving up."

If I were my past self, I would definitely choose to retreat and escape.

"But now, I really don't want to give up anymore." After finding the meaning of life, I, who once advocated for giving up, decisively let go of my past self's refusal. "So... I want to seize my own happiness."

"..."

"Yehui." I turned my head and met her eyes. "I'm sorry, I should have said it a long time ago."

This is a strong thought in my heart and a feeling that will change.

"It's okay...it's not too late to tell now."

There seemed to be tears in her eyes.

"I like you."

This is what I've wanted to tell her for a long time. Now that I've finally said it, the nervousness hasn't subsided at all.

"Idiot!" she said as she rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. "If that's the case... then don't start by saying sorry!" She buried her head in my chest and hit my back with her hands.

“Eh…?”

"Really... I... I thought I was going to be rejected by you..."

"How, how is this possible?" I didn't know whether I should hug her, so not only my thoughts but also my hands became restless. "After you confessed like that, the only option is to accept it."

“…Obviously.”

"Mingming?"

"You were right in front of me when you came upstairs..."

"...I'm sorry." I finally hugged her slender waist. I could clearly feel the twitching of her body from crying, and...the tenderness of a girl's body. "I won't leave you again."

"..."

"And I have to correct what I just said... After much thought, I think ending with 'I like you' would be more in line with the youthful confession of a high school student."

"..." Ah, I could clearly feel Ye Hui was stunned for a moment. Well, this is also a normal reaction.

"But I don't want to experience the feeling of love, or just want to confess to you because of the throbbing of adolescence. What I want is to walk the rest of my life journey with you...even though this journey may be a little difficult."

"Hard...?" Ye Hui slowly raised his head and looked at me closely. "Sheji, what are you talking about?"

"What I'm about to say is a conclusion I've reached after careful consideration. And it's likely something that won't be approved of... but I really want to accomplish it."

"..."

"Yehui, first of all, I want to make it clear that I care about you very much." I took her hand and placed it on my chest. "Whether what I'm about to say is a lie or not, let my heartbeat prove it."

"..."

"Actually, I don't just like you... I want to create comics with you, do things we love, and experience all kinds of things in life with you... Whether it's happy things, or occasional conflicts, or things that couples experience, I want to experience them all with you. So please allow me to correct you, I don't just like you... I love you, Yehui."

"I love you too." Ye Hui accepted it. To be honest, I was a little surprised that he accepted it so quickly.

"So..." I took a deep breath, "As for why it's difficult, it's because I don't just love you."

"..." Ye Hui was stunned for a moment, then a relieved smile appeared on his face, "I knew it was Xiao Lin, right?"

"Well, actually... not quite."

Why did you mention Rinsen River...even though what you said is correct.

"...Let me hear your reasons, please?" She stared into my eyes, as if trying to understand something. And I didn't choose to avoid such a gaze.

"Actually, ever since the cultural exhibition that year, a hint of doubt has been brewing in my heart. The image of Jiayin tearfully choosing to leave me will remain unforgettable for me. I used to think it was just natural. There are always those who fail in love, but if there's only one person you can ultimately choose to spend your life with, it seems like no one has anything to complain about."

"..."

"But I can't accept it. I don't want to lose my soul over someone like me." I bit my lip. "Call me greedy, call me morally corrupt... After thinking about it, the only conclusion I can come to is 'to bring happiness to the girls who like me.'"

"all?"

"That's right. For all the girls who like me, I will spare no effort to make them happy, and I will clearly tell them my thoughts... In short, Yehui, you are the first girl who knows my thoughts." I looked at her slightly wavering eyes and closed them slightly. "If you don't like me, you can push me away, and I won't choose to date anyone else in the future."

"...Is this really worth it?"

Even though she closed her eyes, I could imagine her expression from her trembling voice... She must be very disappointed in me.

"...Nothing is worth it or not. I can only say that I cannot love any of them alone. Not even you who are listening to me now."

"..."

"I still can't accept it. It's like they're using a high-sounding excuse to do something dirty..."

"I accept."

"Huh?" I opened my eyes immediately, and Ye Hui's face clearly had a normal expression.

"Yehui, are you saying that you accept it?"

"Yes, I accept it." She tilted her head and looked at me. "Although I had a feeling that you, Sheji, would have some strange ideas in your head. But to be so outrageous, it really made my thoughts go into chaos for a while."

"..."

"But I know, Sheji, you're not the kind of scum who wants to use this relationship to release your own desires. Since you said you want us to be happy, why can't I believe you?"

"Thank you, Yehui." I breathed a sigh of relief, and my arms around her tightened. "Actually, I'm really afraid that after I tell you about this, you'll just push me away and never talk to me again... treat me like a worthless scumbag or something..."

"After all, you and I have been through so much together... Falling out over this sentence doesn't really suit my personality," she said, leaning her head on my shoulder. "But, this path will be difficult to follow. Even if I agree, how will I deal with my parents... Sheji's parents, the other girls who like you and their families, and everything in the future?"

"..."

"And if that's the case, getting married is probably just a dream." Ye Hui said with regret, "After all, I also want to wear a wedding dress and hold a wedding with Sheji, with the blessings of all my relatives and friends..."

"The wedding can be held."

"Eh? But there's only one person who can get married."

"No, no, no, it's just a wedding," I explained. "As long as we don't register the marriage, just having the wedding won't constitute a crime."

"So you've thought it through..."

"After all, if we want you both to be happy, a wedding is a very important part." I said and nodded. "Anyway, since Ye Hui is the first one to agree, we can proceed to the next step as soon as possible."

"No need to rush." ​​Ye Hui said as he got out of my arms. "Just treat it as a celebration. Spend the rest of the day strolling around with me."

"of course can."

As I said this, I took her warm and delicate hand as usual. How many more hands will I be able to hold like this one after this?

I didn't want to see girls fail in love, so I gave up all the public order and morals, and chose to make continuous breakthroughs in my life... In the end, I chose to walk on a bumpy road of love.

What kind of difficulties and obstacles will appear on this road? Perhaps only by transforming into Shura can you face them.

Anyway, the story continues.

Although it's a bit outrageous, it does continue.

The sequel to "I'm No Longer Human Because I Advocate Giving Up"? I'll probably start writing it.

Character Design

Yehui character design

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Yi Sheji Character Design

The character design pictures have been optimized and they look pretty good.

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Liu Yanren design

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