Ikari Shinji's Harem Comedy Daily Life

Watching Ayanami leave the room, Ikari covered his face and muttered his famous saying: "Can't escape, can't escape, can't escape..."

"Alas." Little Ikari looked at his hands blankly, and said to the comments on the live broadcast beside him: "I'm autistic! I'm autistic! - Shut up! A bunch of dogs (beep). I'm not the same person I used to be. Now the live broadcast is just to accompany Asuka's performance and have fun. Mao, I am the head of the family! I tell you, I'm the boss of this family! Asuka? So what if she's a great scientist? I'm telling you, I'll beat her like a dog! I'm not afraid, not at all! As for Asuka, I can do it with one hand! Ayanami?... I admit that Ayanami is a bit fierce, but so what? She just complains to my mom. I tell you, now there are only three of us. When all five of us are here, I will be the real Carry the whole show... Eh?"

"Halt die Fresse! (Shut your filthy mouth) Stupid Shinji Willst du Arger? (You want to fight?)"

The obscene words coming out of the mouth of the beautiful German girl instantly aroused the whole audience.

The barrage of comments in the dream whizzed past.

It can be seen how much masochism is contained in this memory.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." Xiao Ikari's famous quotes x2.

"@#￥@#￥" Asuka grabbed the opponent's collar and started beating him up, beating him so hard that he was practically crying. "——Humph! You got it easy! Admit it, who is the head of the family!"

"Asuka...Asuka is the head of the family."

"Say it again!"

"Asuka is the head of the family!"

"...Humph, you got it for free!" Asuka let go of Shinji Ikari's collar, took off her apron and threw it at him: "Let's go cook!"

"I, I'm live streaming..."

"What's so important about live streaming? Turn it off!"

"...No, people should be trustworthy..."

"Tsk, come out for dinner later!"

"Hey, hey, okay, okay..."

Asuka took the apron away again and closed the door with a curse.

"...You damn red-haired monkey!" Ikari Shinji just looked like he was about to cry after being beaten, but he instantly stood up after Asuka turned around and left: "How could I be afraid of you? I'm just giving you a woman some face...Okay, okay, okay, okay, let's eat later...Ah, Sister Misato, Mary and the others are back with the children, no more chatting, no! No sister mixed doubles today! No! - No broadcast today! Tomorrow? It was just broadcast for fun - I will naturally kill everyone in the evening, if I am still alive. Let's go, let's go -"

...What kind of daily life is this?

"Hmm... Hmm? Life is pretty good, isn't it?" Ikari was quite happy. The only thing he wasn't satisfied with was: "Is there anything I can't beat Asuka? I'm not kidding... Haha!"

While bragging, Ikari was silenced by Asuka Shikinami in front of him, and then she grabbed his collar like a piece of garbage, shaking him and his soul flew out of his mouth.

“You, you, you!!!—You…”

"Mom~" The four-year-old girl Kyoko ran to Asuka and happily hugged her mother's thighs: "Just obey Daddy, I also want to come into this world a few years earlier~~~Hey, now is the time, there is no time to lose~Hey, I'm with Daddy every night, why should I hide from him..."

“Shut up!!!! Who taught you this nonsense!!!”

"? Sister Mary~"

"...Mary! Mary! I'm going to kill her with my own hands!!!"

Chapter 45 Isn’t this a fact?

NMD, WSM?

I'm only fourteen, and this kid is already four? How can I explain this? — Asuka was about to cry, but she couldn't.

Xiao Ikari was quite happy.

"Ah, ah~~" The fourteen-year-old boy spun the four-year-old girl in the air with his arms, looking very happy: "I never thought that someone like me would have such a cute daughter - ah, ah, Kyoko, you are so cute~"

"Hahahaha~~~" The innocent and surprised laughter of children continued to ring out in this spiritual world.

"..." Asuka looked at the "father and daughter" in front of her. She felt like she wanted to kill him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it because she was afraid of scaring the child. "Stop it!!! Ikari Shinji, I didn't expect you were a lolita complex."

"Hahaha~ Whatever you say~" Xiao Ikari didn't care about that at all. The handsome and pretty boy was having fun playing with his daughter: "You can call me a daughter slave, but you can't say I'm a lolita control, right? ~~~ Yeah, yeah~~"

In the end, Shinji Ikari collapsed on the ground, half-hugging his and Asuka's daughter.

"Hehe - as for Dad, you still like Mom more, right?"

"Well, who knows? There's nothing yet. Your mother and I just met today. You don't know, your mother was confused and violent just now." Xiao Ding thought for a moment and sighed: "She attacked me without saying a word. I thought I had done something wrong, but later I found out that I didn't do anything wrong. After asking carefully, it turned out that it was your mother who was confused and took the wrong way!"

"!! Baga Nobuki! Shut up!!!" Asuka spoke in a clear voice. She flew up and kicked Ikari, snatching the little girl from his arms: "What nonsense are you talking about!... I, I haven't admitted that you and I... How could we have a child!!!! Even if I find a dog, it's more reliable than you. What qualifications do you have to say such things in front of me! It must be, it must be a parallel world! Yes, a parallel world!"

"...Mom, give up. You can't beat Dad." This girl, who looked almost identical to Asuka when she was a child, rubbed Asuka's face with a pretentious air. The mother and daughter were truly cut from the same cloth. "Actually, I do have proof."

"……what?"

"Ahem, sorry, Mom has to leave for a moment to avoid being interrupted." About ten seconds later, Asuka and Ikari Shinji's daughter will clearly show a tendency to persecute her mother. She walks in front of her father Ikari Shinji and says to little Ikari, "Come on, Daddy—pick me up."

"?oh."

"And be ready to run at any time." Kyoko, the daughter sitting in Ikari's arms, smiled and took out... a small notebook from her small bag.

It's obviously old, but has been well cared for.

"Ahem... xx year x month x day. I can't believe I'm supposed to live with that idiot Shinji~ I'm..."

"Huh!?" Asuka was alert.

"X month X day - today, that super-invincible idiot Shinji made a very wrong decision..."

"My diary!?" Asuka alerted three stars!

"On x month x day—Dad, run!—I feel more and more that the time I spend with Shinji is flying by. Mom, do you know how I feel?"

"Gradually, I got used to having him around. I started to think it didn't matter, and that it was fine to be like this."

"Listen, Mom, he's just like my lackey, no, a slave! Who can't say nice things? The key is the action. He doesn't know what love is. Mom, have you ever felt this way?"

"I'm happy, but also scared—what if I start to hate him? This unbearable feeling can't be borne alone. I don't know why, but my heart is starting to feel strange. The only thing I can firmly believe in is that even death can't separate us—because we are children without a future, but we can trust each other deeply."

"Shut... Shut up! Stupid Shinji! Stop, stop! If you don't stop, I'll kill you!!!"

Ikari ran ahead, holding his daughter, while Kyoko sat in her father's arms and began to read her tsundere mother's diary. Behind them, Asuka, shy and almost crying, chased them frantically. It must be said that Ikari was in good shape, and he could run briskly even with his daughter in his arms, and soon he had put a safe distance between him and Asuka.

"Today~" Kyoko read aloud from her mother's Bible in her young father's arms: "We place our future in each other. Because, no one! No one in this world will promise us tomorrow. So, we place our future in each other's hands. Because, this world, this future - they are where we continue to exist. Not as the pilot of Unit 2, not as a substitute, but as the real me - Shikinami Asuka Langley! I always felt that there were too many things here that made me disgusted. But now I feel that I am very happy."

“It’s great to be born here!”

“Shut up!!!!!”

The trio in the spiritual world are still chasing each other - but it is obvious that the ones behind are getting more anxious.

Today, at the age of four, he can already persecute his own mother! This is a truly spectacular thing.

Then Asuka did what only a cute girl would do - she tripped over her right foot with her left foot and fell flat on the ground easily.

“?!!? Dad, Mom fell down!”

Ikari reacted much faster than his daughter - his wife was more important at this time, so he put his daughter aside and ran to Asuka.

"Xiangxiang, what's wrong with you?" Little Ikari hurried to check if Asuka had gotten hurt. Did it hurt? — Ikari Shinji hugged Asuka's arms and legs and began to rub them. He was afraid she might get hurt, so he could only blow on them twice first.

"It's all because of you!!!" But Asuka was such a spoiled girl. She grabbed Ikari's neck with a chokehold: "It's all your fault! It's all your fault! Baga Shinji, die! Die! If you die, I'll die too. Let's both disappear from this shameful world!!"

"Ahem... Xiangxiang, stop it." Xiao Ding had no choice but to comfort her: "Everything...everything hasn't happened yet, right? According to our daughter, all this is just on the way. As long as, as long as you don't fall in love with me... cough cough cough, nothing, nothing will happen."

"...What do you mean I don't like you? Who knows if a pervert like you would have evil thoughts about me! Humph, you..."

"That's impossible. I'm Shinji Ikari - you know I have the desire but not the courage to do it." Little Ikari tilted his head to show that he was a pure and innocent little white rabbit.

Chapter 46: Xiangxiang sees Xiangxiang, tears well up in her eyes

In fact, he had been madly in love with Katsuragi Misato for a long time: "Besides, Asuka, you don't like me, so you can't give birth to my children, right? Don't worry, your supervisor is very proactive and will definitely be able to control himself."

"That's tough." Kyoko, standing by, was quite happy and optimistic. She said, "Dad, you said Mom is a tsundere—saying I won't like you means I've already lost half the battle. Mom, forget it. Surrendering means you've lost half the battle."

"?!!! Go away, I don't like kids!"

"Hehehe, I'm really surprised that Mom said that." Kyoko showed that she was calm at this time. She walked to Asuka like a little adult and patted her mother's shoulder: "Mom, forget it."

"!! Tell me! Explain it to me!" Asuka, the clever one, immediately shifted her focus: "It must be you, little girl! What's going on? Why did I come to this world? What's going on here? I..."

She wanted to be ruthless, but she softened her heart in the end when she saw her lovely daughter in front of her. One hand gently pinched the little girl's watery face, and the young girl Asuka said to her little daughter in a hateful voice,

"Violent... violent opposition..." The daughter could only look at her own father weakly.

"Forget it, Xiangxiang." Xiao Ding could only come up to help. When educating children, it is important to remember that one person controls and the other one blocks - this is equivalent to no education and is just a pretense: "Xiangxiang, educating children mainly relies on persuasion..."

"We in Germany educate our children with me as the main focus! Go away, you have nothing to do here!"

"……Oh."

Little Ikari was so frightened that he trembled and went to the side to be an autistic child.

"What's going on? Tell me!" Asuka's patience was gone.

"Mom, you weren't happy in your old world. I'd even say you had no future there—your future was child's play." With a sigh, the daughter was truly worried about her. With the tone of someone who'd experienced it, the daughter said to her mother, "Mom, I have to say you're truly, truly miserable. But as someone who's often traveled through the multiverse, I, your lovely daughter, will certainly help you regain your youth, find love, and be yourself again!"

"?!?! You..." Asuka wouldn't make mistakes like that when she was in her right mind, but now she's a bit confused. She took a deep breath, not knowing if it would calm her down. "Kyoko, right? No matter what the mistake, I hope you can realize that I am who I am, Shikinami Asuka Langley. I don't like children!... Not only do I dislike them, I even hate them, including my former self. Leave me alone now, or I'll lose control and kill you at any moment!"

Ikari frowned, wondering if Asuka was seriously injured. He then gently walked over to the mother and daughter, caressing Asuka's hair with his left hand and stroking his daughter's head with his right hand, hoping she wouldn't be frightened.

"You're victorious!" Asuka was of course not happy with this consolation... She was unhappy at the same time.

"...Mom, you're still so awkward. Thank you, Dad, because I've never seen Mom treat me like this." Kyoko was a little disappointed, and stuffed the diary in her hand into her small bag - then took out another one.

what is this?

XX model of XX phone? I've seen this model from episode one, model from XX? Xiao Ding was stunned, thinking, what's going on?

"How about this." The little girl smiled very cutely and innocently - but don't forget, she is Asuka's daughter! "Mom, since you are so stubborn - how about we call Dad's wife in five years?"

"? ...What's that? Why would I call Baga Shinji's wife five years from now? Besides, with his character, how could he get married at 19? Ha, what kind of woman is so blind to marry such a cowardly, incompetent, useless, stupid man?"

"...If you're scared, just tell me. I'll just hang up."

"I'm afraid of you!? ——Besides, what makes you think that a call can reach the phone number of this idiot's wife five years from now? Wasn't it prepared in advance..."

"It's easy. Just call my dad five years from now and tell him to scream, right?" A four-year-old is smarter than a fourteen-year-old: "I'll just ask Dad to get Mom on the phone—if you're scared, just say so!"

"? Would I be afraid of you?! Hit me!" There is a bug here. This girl is 4 years old. Will she be able to make a phone call in five years?

"Um...Asuka, why don't you just forget it?" Ikari advised gently (adding fuel to the fire): "Now you..."

"Get out of here, stupid Shinji!!"

The phone rang with a burst of music as a response ringtone - "It's obviously my first time visiting the Louvre, but I don't feel anything special; because I have already met the Mona Lisa who belongs only to me~~~"

"...? What kind of crappy lyrics are these?" Xiao Ikari grumbled nearby, "Is this what the aesthetic will be like five years from now? That's really lame. What's wrong with the Louvre?"

The Japanese have a unique obsession with Paris, and there is even a "Paris syndrome" - which refers to the Japanese imagining Paris as an incredibly beautiful place, but when they actually go there, they find that it has nothing they want, and the psychological gap of all their dreams being shattered is disgusting - this is the Paris syndrome.

(Thanks to Anno Hideaki for letting me experience what the New Theatrical Version Syndrome is)

Jinzi glanced at her young father and opened her mouth to persuade him not to say that - then she lowered her head and remained silent, and the call was connected.

"Moshimoshi?" His voice was a little more mature, no longer the immature voice of a boy. "Kyoko? Have you stolen another phone?"

"Dad~~" He laughed happily, and Kyoko said with a smile: "No, I have something important to do here - let Mom answer the phone."

"Okay," the voice on the other end sounded like Xiaoding, but it wasn't necessarily Xiaoding—Xiaoding himself was also puzzled. Is this who he would be five years later?—"Xiangxiang—my daughter called and asked for you to answer the phone."

"? Kyoko? What's wrong? She shouldn't be at this time... Oh, here it comes."

The person on the other end of the line clearly heard a sound coming from far away, and then heard another sound...

A crisp sound similar to a kiss on the cheek.

"Guten Tag? Kyoko?"

"...!!!" The pilot of Unit 2 pounced like a tiger, snatching the phone from his daughter's hand. As if he couldn't bear it any longer, he opened his mouth to scold his future self—but stopped himself immediately: "Guten Tag... Miss Asuka, right?"

"……?Who are you……?"

"I! - I'm a kind-hearted person!" Xiangxiang from World No. 1 called herself in this world five years later, forcibly lowered her soaring blood pressure, and then said, "I've come here specifically to tell you a truth, and to advise you - it seems like you married that idiot Shinji? Let me tell you, he's a pervert, a pervert, a perverted idiot! I'm telling you this for your own good. Sooner or later, he'll completely abandon you..."

"Kyoko is in your hands, right? I understand." A sparse sound came from the other side, and then the voice on the other side became extremely cold: "Kyoko is in your hands, so I won't use the most disgusting words to scold you - if you have anything to say, just come to me, but if you curse my dear, I will remember it! Then I will tear your mouth apart! Bitch!"

Chapter 47: Xiangxiang meets Xiangxiang and shoots her in the back

Asuka feels really bad now because she was threatened by herself! ——Even she betrayed herself, this feeling is really...!!

Asuka was so angry that she started to speak in her native language: "Huh? Bitch, who are you calling a bitch? Your whole family is..."

Halfway through her speech, Asuka felt that if she continued to curse, she might die.

"Oh? You're German too? - Where did you learn German? You speak so awful and disgustingly, did you grow up in some slum? You have such a poor upbringing, you don't have any parents, do you?"