Ikari Shinji's Harem Comedy Daily Life

Asuka in World One had practically grown up without parents, so this sentence instantly broke her defenses. Five years later, her combat prowess was terrifying.

"You!... Huh, listen, sister, let's talk calmly. First of all, your daughter... this girl named Kyoko. Although I don't like her at all, I'm just borrowing her phone to call you. No matter what unpleasantness happens between us - your daughter will return to you intact, without a hair lost - so please listen to what I have to say next. The reason I called you is because I have a conscience! I must tell you, sister - you, that Ikari Shinji, are trash! He..."

"Okay, I'm grateful for what happened with Kyoko, you who stole the kid's phone and didn't pay the bill. There's nothing else to talk about. Ah, I know my dear is very, very good. He has attracted countless flirts like you, but of course it's not his fault - it's definitely your fault. Listen, sister, you don't have the ability to snatch him away from me, let alone the other accessories~ Just give up, there's no place for you by his side."

"...Do you know he's a piece of trash who'll abandon you at the critical moment?" His brows sank with new and old hatreds, and he poured out his bitterness - remembering his final battle with the mass-produced machine. This autistic child hugged his knees and was full of inner drama: "And he's also a perverted pervert! He only knows..."

"Hehehe~~Don't try so hard. We have known each other since we were ten years old, which is much, much earlier than you. And he is the man I can entrust my life to, from the beginning. Listen, if he asks me to do something particularly dangerous today, he must have a 100% legitimate reason, and I will do it without hesitation! As for the perverted H pervert... I admit this~ Hehe. You have such a vicious voice, but you are so young. Are you still a little girl who likes to fantasize? I hate girls of your age the most. They are disgusting and like to make trouble!——"

"Hehe, and let me tell you - he fell in love with me at first sight the moment he saw me when I was ten. I was the same way then. We've known each other since we were young and we're a match made in heaven. No matter the foolish way he loves me, his dullness like an idiot, his unromantic straight man, or his effeminate appearance - I love him so much. He's my dearest man. The way he's selfless, the way he's so outstanding, the way he usually does nothing - I love them all deeply! Haha, although you love him too, I promise you can't compare to my love."

"Loving him... You are so shameless! Shameless!!! You are crazy, you must be crazy!!! Are you Asuka? Are you really Asuka? You are not worthy of being Asuka if you are with a guy like this!" Asuka fired herself: "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I tell you, you will regret it, you will definitely regret it!... If you want to find a man, of course you should find a manly person like Mr. Kaji! A trash girl like you who has completely given up her dignity for a man is no longer qualified to continue to be a woman, let alone live as Asuka. You will regret it, you will definitely regret it!"

"Just now... I thought you had some ability. As Asuka, I'm very happy to be able to live, thanks to my dear being with me. Our souls are almost together, and we would be in great pain if we were to leave each other. Who is Kaji? I don't know him. There is no man in this world better than my dear, not even worthy of carrying his shoes. As for regrets? When we got married, I swore - except my dear, I will never touch any other man in this life; except my dear, I will never talk to any other man. From that moment on, my body, my heart, everything I have belongs to him. I may not know anything about what 'love' is, but if 'love' means keeping promises and being faithful until death, then I promise to love only him in this life!"

"Bang!" Asuka in World No. 1 threw the phone to the ground!

I can't live this day.

"Stupid woman! Stupid woman! She actually trusted a man, and the one she trusted was this Ikari Shinji! She's crazy, crazy! She doesn't deserve to be called Asuka!——" Shikihanami Asuka Langley of World 1 glanced at Ikari Shinji beside her with hatred, her face flushed red, and she pointed at him and cursed in an almost roaring tone: "What are you looking at, watching me make a fuss? Let me tell you, even if I die, die of old age, or jump from here, I will never marry you! If I marry you, I'll be a dog! A dog! A bitch!!"

"!? Mom!" Wow, Mom's having so much fun? Sister Mary was right, wasn't she? — The little girl, who looked to be four years old, quickly ran over to check the phone case, then beamed and greeted her mom five years from now before hanging up the phone. — Only then did she start to eat melons and gossip. "Don't say that. You always tell Mom five years from now she'll regret it, but don't you ever consider that you'll regret it yourself?"

"I, Asuka, never regret anything!!!" With one last fierce look at the seemingly indifferent Ikari Shinji, Asuka from World No. 1 said, "Go, leave, let me leave this world! - I want to go back to my own world, even if I die alone there! - No, I want to hunt down Ikari Shinji... Forget it, I might as well just kill you! Die, die, why don't you just die, stupid Shinji!"

"Um... I'm sorry, Mom. For now, I'm the only one who can accompany you."

"……?What's the meaning?"

"You're not capable enough—it's a waste of energy to travel through time. Mom, just accept it. There's an Asuka in this world, too, right?—Let's find happiness with her."

"...I would rather die than be compared to that love bitch 'me'!!!" said Shikinami Asuka Langley.

Chapter 1: Retribution in This Life

Okay, Shinji Ikari thought for a long time and still didn’t know how to tell the other party, “Just obey me.”

"Mmm...it smells so good..."

"Shut up! I might as well just kill you, and that would solve the problem." Asuka shook her head like a lion, staring fiercely at Ikari in front of her. Suddenly, a madman sharpened his knife at night, and the imperial star was swaying, and Mars was high in the sky!

"Well, I just want to give you some advice. If fate can't be changed, why didn't my world perish like yours? — In my second world, I won the final group battle, and theoretically, your world's final battle against the mass-produced machine wasn't the last one, there are even bigger ones waiting for you. — If fate can be changed, then why are you so obsessed with the success or failure in front of you? You should just work hard to be yourself."

"That makes sense! I almost got tricked into it!" Asuka lowered her head, thinking about the past: "That's right! How could I possibly lose? Tsk... Hey, over there... Kyoko! Let me go to another world."

"Mom... forget it. Mom has always been like this and won't listen to advice." Kyoko shook her head, pretending to be mature like a little adult. "But let me tell you one more thing. Time travel requires cooling down and energy recovery."

"? How long will it take to reply?"

"Well, it's the law of conservation of mass—since you're traveling through so many worlds, using the world as a unit, then naturally you're consuming the world's energy. See what you can bring to this world. The more changes you bring, the more energy you'll gain."

"?" Xiao Ding was also stunned for a long time, and asked in return: "Then, Dad, I can also return to my original world..."

"Dad, shut up now!"

“…Okay, alright.” I’ll ask you later.

"As Mom knows and thinks, we are now one soul. Hmm... let's stay at Dad's for a while."

"Uh... Daddy's very welcome." Little Ikari nodded. It was definitely a man's responsibility to support his wife and children. No problem. "But what excuse should I make? Suddenly, a four-year-old daughter and another Asuka popped up here."

"Don't worry, Dad—Mom and I are superior beings completely different from this world!" The little girl put her hands on her hips, her domineering demeanor truly inherited from her mother. "We can make people invisible if we want, float if we want, and suddenly appear if we want—to give you a scare."

"? Is there such a thing?"

"Tsk, why should I live with him in this world?" Miss Asuka expressed her disgust and refused to do it.

"It's okay if Mom doesn't come. Kyoko can always be with her." Kyoko smiled, then hit her own mother right where she is: "But considering what Mom has been doing and thinking in this world... well, I think it's only recently. Aren't you afraid that Dad will show his fangs to Mom in this world?"

"How dare he!—Wait, no, what do you mean by 'baring fangs'?—Can that woman Makiwa Mari even be considered a human being? What on earth did she do to a four-year-old child?!"

"Uh..." Xiao Ikari wanted to say something.

"Okay." Then he was stopped by his dear little Kyoko: "Dad can leave now - now it's my and Mom's girls' time."

“? No, I’m…”

Before Xiao Ding could say something, a spirit suddenly woke up over there.

It turned out to be a dream.

"...I don't recognize the ceiling." Xiao Ikari said a line immediately, and then wanted to get up: "Wow...this medical skill is really poor."

Rising from a NERV hospital bed, no matter how severe the injury, it's guaranteed to remain invisible on the surface! — The damage to your internal organs and body is another matter. After all, capitalists know how to squeeze you to the last drop of blood, saving humanity, right? What's the point of one EVA? Unit-0, Unit-01, and Unit-02, not to mention Units 3, 4, and 5. With so many mass-produced units, they didn't even bother to help, and they didn't even bother to share their own research findings to help. You build a dozen or twenty EVAs, and in the end, will humanity be wiped out?

"I'm really sorry about the poor medical standards." Suddenly, a cold and beautiful snort came from the side.

Ikari was so frightened that he shuddered, his entire body frozen like a frog being glared at by a giant snake. Then he turned his head mechanically—ah ha, it was Akagi Ritsuko.

"Ritsu...Ritsuko-san...oh, oh ha, I'm going to die..."

"Hmph, oh yes." The lady snorted again, then stood up and walked to Xiao Ikari's side. This time, she checked Xiao Ikari's wound without any gentleness: "Oh, you are quite patient, huh? - Our small clinic is not capable enough, so we can only treat your wound simply. Why, do you want to go to a big hospital?"

"No, no, no. Big hospitals have excellent medical equipment—but they don't have a doctor as perfect as Ms. Ritsuko. She's beautiful, has high medical ethics, and she feels like an older sister..."

"Pa!" Ritsuko Akagi had no feelings for the younger man. After all, she was a woman competing with her own mother for an older man. It would be weird if she had feelings for the younger man. But... it sounded nice. So after checking Ikari's wound and seeing that it was nothing serious, Ritsuko Akagi said, "Okay, no injuries, you've recovered well, worthy of being a young man... Also, let me tell you, I can beat to death countless people who are so smooth-talking as you. Humph~ I didn't expect that you were so shameless at the age of 14. I really look forward to seeing you hacked to death by a woman because of emotional problems before you turn 30. Oh, as a doctor, I shouldn't say such things - sorry."

"No, no, no, Sister Ritsuko, you're teaching me." Little Ikari was very familiar with her and immediately established a good relationship with her, calling her "Sister". "Isn't this just a heartfelt feeling? Humans yearn for beautiful things, beautiful flowers, a full moon, beautiful women - I'm just expressing my admiration for Sister Ritsuko's appearance in an objective sense..."

"......? Oh, it seems Misato really needs to be careful." Akagi Ritsuko looked at the beautiful boy in front of her who was pretending to be well behaved. It was indeed a bit scary. "Okay, stop talking nonsense - I checked the wards this morning, and Maya will come to change your dressing later. Oh, by the way, if you don't want to be torn to pieces by your two little girlfriends, then as an adult, I'll give you a piece of advice: don't dream about having a harem all day long. Either you succeed and regret it when you are 30, or you fail and you will regret it right away. Maybe you don't care - but a woman who you think is being played around by you will kill people when she goes crazy."

Words of experience.JPG.

Chapter 49: Look at the giant dragon with its head held high, rushing east and west, soaring into the sky.

Technically, Akagi Ritsuko is the (one of?) murderer of her father from last episode, a woman, a scientist, all alone, armed with a pistol, ready to kill her father, Ikari Gendō. While there's nothing wrong with that, if Ikari were around, she might have assisted Akagi with a few attacks, a couple of finishing blows, and a few final spitting blows. But... Ritsuko's personality makes it perfectly acceptable for her to say something like that.

"Of course." Ikari Shinji agreed. "Of course I don't play with people's feelings. I'm always honest and open. If you can accept it, then accept it. If you can't, then forget it."

"? What do you mean by open and honest?"

"Either they come together, or none of them—they can do their own research."

"...Well, although I've met countless scumbags in my life, this is the first time I've encountered one as promising and righteous as you." Ritsuko waved her hand, saying, "I originally thought you could be saved. As a doctor, I think you could be saved. As a person, I think you're beyond saving. As a woman, I think it's best for you to be humanely destroyed right now."

Xiao Ding shuddered. It's better not to stay in a hospital like this. If the doctor wants to kill you, wouldn't that be a silent thing?

Not long after, Ibuki Maya came to change his medicine. After chatting for a while, Ikari looked at the magazine at hand boredly. Around that afternoon——

Fell asleep again.

There was no way around it. The afternoon sun shone on my face, and Ikari slept peacefully. It felt just like the last three years of my past life, when I was intubated and lying dead. His voice, appearance, and smile were the same as when he was alive.

"Hi! Stupid Shinji, I'm here to see you - are you touched?" However, Ikari had not slept for two hours when a voice broke the silence of the clinic.

After a burst of hurried footsteps coming up the stairs, the person who ran in breathlessly was none other than Asuka.

Hmm… would I marry this girl? Asuka… I can't quite imagine it. Any version of Asuka, I can't imagine it. And the phone call I heard from the spirit world five years later… This Asuka is the original tsundere, but how could she still be tsundere five years later? She's just a bit of a spoiled child. She's so outspoken, even if I'm a little embarrassed to hear it myself!

I can’t think of it.

"Oh, thank you Miss Asuka for coming." Xiao Ikari quickly said a few nice words. A woman like this...could marry him? "Come, please take a seat - sorry, I don't have any tea for you."

"No, no, no, I don't need the Japanese way, it doesn't matter." Miss Asuka said that she had mastered the art of being the only one in the world, and she looked at everyone with a look of disdain - "Oh, the weather is so nice and the sun is so bright, how can I not bask in the sun?"

As she spoke, Asuka walked to the window and opened the curtains. The sunlight made Ikari feel as uncomfortable as a otaku seeing the light - just as Ikari used his hands to block the dazzling afternoon sun, Asuka walked over again.

That classic scene.

"Don't cover yourself with the quilt! You...ah!"

At the age of 14, when you wake up from a good sleep, your Yang energy will of course be stronger.

There are praises as evidence:

Look at the giant dragon with its head held high, rushing east and west, soaring into the sky.

Long Yuan relies on hundreds of millions of people to bring about the surging spring tide!

Surprise, daze, anger and then shyness - a shy face as red as a peach that is about to drip honey at any moment - but with shame and anger.

Okay, the scene description is over. Next, let's move on to the dialogue: speaking the words -

"Baga, H, pervert, hentai!!!——"

Then a slap came.

"Pah!" While the plot is classic, this Ikari Shinji isn't the same Ikari Shinji he used to be. His reflexes are much better than the original, and his personality isn't the herbivorous, if-you-slap-me-I-don't-hit-back type anymore—not to mention he'd already raised his hand to block the sun. He sees Asuka suddenly about to slap him.

Of course I can't stand that.

So Ikari grabbed Asuka's right hand.

"?!" You dare to resist!? "Pervert, what are you doing?"

The scene was a bit awkward. The warm sunlight shone down, and the boy and girl, who had feelings for each other, blushed with shyness. The boy grabbed the girl's wrist—the scene looked like something out of a Korean drama.

It was the boy's three inches below the navel that broke this warm scene, turning it into something like a Japanese drama.

Asuka felt embarrassed, angry, and even a little scared, and subconsciously hit back with her left hand.

Give up, you can’t beat me—Xiao Ding casually grabbed the opponent’s left hand again.

Really...very slender. Or rather, this seemingly proud girl in front of me was so slender that I didn't dare to use too much force - otherwise, I was afraid that she would be as fragile as glass.

"What are you doing? Hitting me all of a sudden?" Hey, ha! Look at my power as a straight man! The straight man complains first! If you like me, I'm not afraid of you running away! If I like you, I can't let you get away! - Both hands have completely controlled Asuka's wrists, and the girl is still moving around - if she's not aware of it, then she naturally needs to use more posture and strength.

Asuka leaned forward, and Shinji pulled his hands toward Pingxiang—the two of them fell down in the Jenga position.

"You still have the nerve to say that! - Disgusting, so disgusting! - Stay away from...stay away from me!"

"I...ah, sorry, sorry..." One was in big font and the other was in too big font.

Even though the child will be three or four in five years, it seems their relationship hasn't reached that stage yet... Well, actually, in Europe and the US, it should have already reached that stage... The average age of first time in District 11 is in their twenties, while the average age in the US is eighteen. In District 11, those aged 20-30 are still a whopping 40%, which means the average has been dragged down by some shameless people. In junior high school, this proportion is a full 16%, soaring to 32% in high school. After the college crowd, the rest are truly out of place.

So now, two fourteen-year-old kids being together is really not just a matter of accidental contact.

Xiao Ding was just about to scold the other person for his impulse to hit him - he had no feeling when he got up and had an erection, and they were face to face at close range - if he still had no feeling, he really should go to a men's department for a check-up.

"Ah..." The body is always the most honest - she moaned softly, and immediately fell into an even more annoyed situation after she uttered an involuntary grumble - Asuka wanted to find a crack in the ground to crawl into, but before she did so... "Stupid... idiot! Let me go!"

Seeing that if he didn't let go of the other person and let him vent, he would easily get a brain congestion, and the shameful and humiliated look with tears in the corners of his eyes - Xiao Ikari felt that this joke was too big.

...Well, there's nothing wrong with it.

"Sorry, you have to promise not to hit me..." Xiao Ikari said as he let go of the other person: "Well, after all, it was you who forcibly pulled open my bed sheet..."

"Pa!" A heavy slap hit the face, but there was a slight pause before it slapped lightly: "Asshole! - I'm hitting you! Big Hentai! Big hentai! All men are big hentai!!! Get out, get out!"

"It hurts..." Ouch, it hurts so much, Xiao Ikari immediately pretended to be injured. Instead of covering his face, he covered the injured parts of his legs and abdomen that were completely untouched.

"?!" This time it was Asuka, the innocent person in this world, who was panicking. No matter how high her academic qualifications were, they could not hide the terrible fact that she had no social experience.

Chapter 50 I hate you, I hate you so much that I want to die right now

“Just now…just now when you climbed up…” Xiao Ding pretended to be dead: “Oh, it hurts so much…”

One for a dozen, one for a big one!

"Don't... Humph, you deserve it! Where does it hurt?"

"It's okay, it's okay... So what if I get a scar? It's a glorious symbol of being able to help girls." Who am I? I can't argue even if I'm right! "Asuka, you can rest aside for a while. I, I can handle it on my own. The doctor said I can be discharged in a week."

"So long?! Don't... let me see..."

"No, if I show you again, you'll have to beat me again."

"!! What an annoying guy!——"

The young boys and girls were talking and laughing, fighting and making noises.

The sweat beads after the heat, the unique body fragrance of a young girl... What is the smell of being still wet behind the ears? It's almost like this.

"I was wrong, I was wrong—No, I won't make trouble anymore." Having taken advantage of the situation, I said I won't make trouble anymore—Ikari raised his hands high and begged for mercy from Asuka, who was still lying on top of him: "If you keep going like this, it will be difficult to deal with."

"Hmph!" Asuka adjusted her uniform, her mindset and breathing, and glanced around. After confirming she was alone, she summoned a resolve comparable to her first battle with the Angels. She feigned composure, but her heart was about to explode. "Since you like me so much, I'll forgive you. By the way, it's unbelievable that a straight man like you isn't disliked by your sister... Hmph, in America, a man like you will never be favored by women."

"? This isn't America." Xiao Ikari adjusted his mindset well: "Besides, in Japan, a guy like me will probably never win the favor of women."

"Hmph..." That's not what I heard at school. I thought Japanese women were more reserved, but it turns out they're just a bunch of bitches. Asuka pretended to be contemptuous, then asked back, "I was so young and naive that I was fooled by you. You still like me, right?"

"...? Didn't I give you the answer four years ago?"