I will never give in to Miss Death

"God knows, there are 103 members in the group, and it would be good if 50 of them actually showed up, right?"

I walked in the garden for about five or six minutes. Just when I was still wondering whether I should send a message to "Divine Pet Pipi", the conversation between three young men on a small stool in front of me made me turn my attention to the other side.

"50? You overestimate those pigeons. Most people wouldn't even bother to join the group if it weren't for you, Pikachu. Only 23 people confirmed the group announcement yesterday."

The person who was speaking was a slightly fat boy. Sitting next to him was a boy who wore glasses and looked gentle, and there was also a young man who was very tall and had a very good figure, like a "bodybuilding coach".

It felt a bit funny that these three people were squeezed into the same small chair, playing with their mobile phones and chatting.

"You mean the maximum number of people who came to defend their rights is 23?"

"It's hard to say. Lao Bai and his group did come, but they don't seem to be interested in defending their rights. Those second-generation rich people don't care about the few thousand yuan in royalties. Didn't they say this morning that they were in the Rong District? The Glory District? Anyway, they were playing in the rich district."

The slightly plump man sitting on the far left, wearing a T-shirt with the anime image of Marisa Kirisame, sighed: "The actual situation may be just us."

"In the final analysis, this kind of rights protection action is too energy-consuming. If my home was not close to Kamihama, I might not have come."

"By the way, where's the uncle? Didn't he say his house is nearby?"

The muscular young man on the far right wore a bland smile. He nudged the bespectacled man in the middle with his elbow and said, "Pishen, give uncle a call."

Uh...could these three guys be Marisa, Pippi, and Gito and Ryu?

"Ok?"

At this moment, perhaps sensing my gaze, the slightly plump young man on the far left of the three people raised his head, looked at me on the lawn for a few seconds, a hint of joy appeared on his face, and then he waved in my direction -

"Hi! Little Loli!"

No. 022 Eastern Scarlet Rhapsody

[Marisa's Iron Butt] and [Divine Pet Pipi] are the two people in the official author group of Yaedo Novel Network who have the best relationship with me.

My acquaintance with my magical pet Pippi began with a sleepless night. He was woken up by his children, and I was woken up by a nightmare because I was worried about work and books. We talked about the difficulties of life to each other in the group, and slowly got to know each other.

In fact, the divine pet Pippi is quite famous among the authors. He is humble and outspoken. As a best-selling author, he never acts like a "big boss". He often helps many newbies read books and never shows off his achievements or plays the "playing pig and eating the tiger" game in the group.

The so-called "playing the pig and eating the tiger" in the author group means that some big authors like to cry poor and have no royalties in the group every day, or keep claiming how bad their level is, and they often say "the new book of the flop author has failed again" or "the royalties this month are so low, I have to eat dirt" and so on. Whenever this happens, someone in the group will often come out and say kindly, "It's not that bad, how much are you paid this month? What is the title of your book?" Then these authors will also say very "modestly" "My grades are very poor" "I can't compare to the big guys, I'm just a salted fish", so the new authors in the group who are curious will ask what the name of your book is and if they can show it to everyone.

At this time, these great authors will still pretend to be sad and say -

"Don't ask. I can't stand seeing your grades being so bad."

"I can't compare with the great authors. I'm already considering changing my career."

"My royalties aren't even a fraction of yours. Sigh, I'm just a waste."

After saying too many "self-deprecating" words like this, there will often be one or two young authors with some experience in the group who will come out and say weakly, "Although I can't help you much, I have been writing books for a year or two. What's the title of your book? Maybe I can help you take a look," and then post their own books.

Generally, the collections of these small authors are about 10,000 or 20,000 yuan, and they only receive about 2,000 to 3,000 yuan in royalties every month. They may really not be able to bear to see this great author so sad and desperate, and think that he is really a novice author who really wants to write a good book, so they come out out of kindness to see if they can help.

Seeing that someone has finally posted the data of his own book, the author who was pretending to be a lazy person will simply post the data of his own novel - 80,000 to 90,000 collections, and more than 100,000 yuan in royalties every month.

“Look, the data is pretty bad.”

"I only earn over 100,000 yuan a month. I can't survive."

The data screenshots of the two books formed a sharp contrast in the group.

Immediately afterwards, a large number of praises such as "It's so terrifying", "Are you still short of the royalties?", "So you are a great writer, I'm so sorry" and so on will emerge in the group.

Similar scenes happen almost every month in the novel group.

Some great authors really like this "playing the pig and eating the tiger" tactic, which works every time in the author group. They first disguise themselves as salted fish and complain for a long time, then lure out those ordinary middle-level authors, lure them into releasing the data of their novels, and then pretend to be reluctant to show off their royalties, which makes them very popular.

As [Shen Chong Pipi], who once ranked third on the site's sales list, hates this kind of behavior. Several times I saw him in the author group scolding those authors who "pretended to be salty" after achieving some success.

"Do you think this is fun? If you can't continue writing, then don't write. If you think 100,000 yuan is too little, then don't take it, or donate it."

"It's really rubbish. A hundred thousand yuan in royalties is only one-fifth of my subscription income last month."

"If you can't do it, then find a factory job and stop sunbathing."

Every time this happens, I feel that... Pipi is a person who can get along with others.

It is precisely because the divine pet Pipi often "criticizes" some middle and high-level authors who use new authors to satisfy their vanity that he has a very bad reputation in some author circles, but he is very popular among middle and low-level authors.

Anyway, my relationship with him is pretty good. From the beginning, we confided in each other about the difficulties of life, to later helping each other with novel work, and then playing games together in our spare time, and cursing each other in the game like "You idiot, do you know how to play?" and "I'm your dad." The relationship between me and my magical pet Pippi is actually no different from the "good brothers" in real life.

As we all know, the only criterion for judging whether two boys have a good relationship is whether they can curse each other to their heart's content while playing games.

If two boys say "Sons, come in and play together" instead of "Anyone playing games?" when they open the voice chat while playing games, then their relationship must be as close as it can be.

Moreover, the divine pet Pippi is a family man. He got married at the age of 24 and is 27 years old this year. His daughter is three years old. Generally, such men will not make any major mistakes.

As for [Marisa's Iron Butt], he is a good friend of [Divine Pet Pippi]. The process of their acquaintance is similar to mine. One day, Pippi invited me to play games and also invited Marisa, and the three of us formed a group.

[Marisa's Iron Butt] is a 32-year-old virgin who has not been in a relationship for 32 years. He suffered a family change when he was young, and he came out into the society at the age of 16. He is still unmarried and is a freelancer. In addition to writing books, he also engages in jobs such as reselling game equipment and writing code, and also takes jobs such as repairing computers and mobile phones. He has said countless times in voice that he will never get married in this life and only live for himself. He is a complete old two-dimensional and technical otaku.

The meme of "Marisa's Iron Butt" comes from the East, and is an old meme from the same era as "Hiroyuki Shoots the Monster Bird". To put it simply, in a homoerotic fighting game with the theme of "East", a magical girl named "Marisa" has a skill of directly butting people with her butt. This skill has a very high stiffness and is almost impossible to interrupt. It also has a very strong ability to break invincibility. No matter who is hit by this move, they will be pushed far away, so it is called "Marisa's Iron Butt", and "kao" means butt.

Unlike Pipi who seems a bit gentle when chatting, Marisa's Tieji gives me the feeling of being a bit...socially arrogant in the game. He talks a lot, and is very sunny and carefree. He seems to know everything, and is especially generous to us authors who are theoretically "peers". I remember one time my computer hard drive broke, and I didn't have enough money to buy a new one, so I didn't play games with them that night. Marisa's Tieji transferred me 500 yuan without hesitation so that I could buy a hard drive, and said, "You can pay me back when you have money, don't bother with your brothers."

Even though we have a very good relationship, have been chatting together in the group for so long, and have fought in the game for so many years, this is the first time we meet in real life.

What I didn't expect was that the social talent of "Marisa's Iron Butt" could be maxed out to this extent. I was stopped as soon as I passed by them.

"Hey, you're not?"

As if he felt that it was a bit rude to stop a little girl so casually, the middle-aged man with glasses who should be the "divine pet Pipi" sitting on the middle bench was a little flustered. He pulled Marisa over and lowered his voice: "Stop it, there are police outside."

"What are you thinking about? I just want to say hello. I recognize the hat this kid is wearing. He's from the 6th Destroyer Fleet."

Marisa stood up from her chair and said to me, "Little sister, are you also a Kantai C player?"

"Ah...that..."

I didn’t know how to explain for a moment: “I haven’t played the game, I’ve only watched the anime.”

"Haha, it suits you very well."

Marisa was very polite. "You are so cute, and your voice is so adorable. Please forgive me. This is the first time I have seen such a cute girl in my life... I can't help but want to chat with you. I hope I didn't disturb you?"

I shook my head. “No.”

"Thank you."

Marisa was obviously a little happy: "Are you alone? Is school off today?"

I covered my mouth and chuckled: "Yes, alone."

"Is this okay?"

A tall boy who looked like a bodybuilding coach looked incredulous: "Marisa, are your social points full?"

"No, this little girl is really social. Usually, when these cute little girls see us uncles talking to them, they just shake their heads, wave their hands, and run away."

Marisa was a little embarrassed by what he said. He looked at me and hesitated for a moment: "Little sister, do you have any social media accounts? QQ? WeChat? Or Weibo? Can we get to know each other and add each other as friends?"

"I can't stand it anymore, Marisa, you're no different from a weird old man now."

Giving Marisa a look of disdain, the "divine pet Pipi" beside him took out his phone and said, "Why hasn't the uncle come yet at this time? He still loves Lolita. There is such a cute little Lolita here, but his uncle is missing."

After saying that, he seemed to press something on the screen, and the divine pet Pippi brought the phone to his ear.

"..."

The next second, the phone in my pocket rang in front of these people.

……

No, 023 ran out with a whoosh (ran out)!

“There are still many things we don’t know. If we discover them, that will be the beginning of the adventure!”

"He ran out with a whoosh! (He ran out)!"

"We have to catch up tomorrow (we have already caught up)!"

"..."

Because I have always lived alone, in a year, apart from calls from scammers and mobile companies saying "Sir, you can get a free phone", almost no one would call me as a marginalized person. So I set my cell phone ringtone to the ending song of the first season of "Would You Like a Rabbit Today?" a long time ago, it was the cute song of the three little girls swaying in front of the camera, "even a medic would die if he saw it."

In this way, if I receive a scam call, I will just ignore it and waste the scammer's time and listen to music.

I never imagined that one day this cell phone ringtone would ring in front of someone I know.

What I didn’t expect was that… I would light up the screen of my phone with a pair of little girl’s hands, looking like a loli in anime.

"Then what..."

With the incredulous looks of "Marisa's Iron Butt" and "God's Pet Pipi", I took out my phone, gestured to the incoming call alert, and said to the three young men in front of me, "I'm here."

"and many more!"

Marisa, who was the first to react, covered her eyes with one hand and gestured to me with the other hand, "Wait, wait! Something is wrong, there must be something wrong!"

It can be seen that he was a little nervous, but more of it was confusion and shock.

"you……"

Pipi's hand holding the phone froze in mid-air, with the same expression as a husky that had just eaten two spoonfuls of mustard and had its anus stabbed: "You...you are an uncle?"

"Ah."

I nodded as a sign of agreement, then raised my phone, waved to the man with glasses in the middle who should be Pipi, and hung up the phone.

"Beep beep..."

"The number you dialed is out of service or no one is answering it. Please try again later..."

The hung up call caused Pipi's phone to ring with a busy tone.

This series of scenes is enough to prove that I am what they call "uncle".

The divine pet Pippi was stunned, and Marisa's iron butt on the side was also stunned.

"No, something is wrong, something must have gone wrong!"

After standing there for a long while, "Marisa's Iron Butt" turned to "God's Pet Pippi": "Pippi, let's sort this out. This number of yours was left by the uncle, right?"

Pipi came back to his senses and nodded: "That's right."

"Uncle, the author's name is Uncle Loves Loli, we have known him for several years, right?"

Pipi continued to nod: "At least three years."

"The novels he writes are the kind that only men can write and only men can understand... novels with male protagonists, right? They are already several million words long."

"More than two million words."

"We often post pornographic pictures in the group and talk about things that only men understand, right?"

"Correct."

"When we play games, such as PUBG, Left 4 Dead, and APEX, we always agree that whoever dies first is the son. He is often the first to die, and then we call him a bad son, right?"

"Indeed, the uncle is not very good at playing games."

"When we were chatting, the uncle was indeed a man, right?"

"It's a man."

"This number of yours was also left by the uncle, right?"

"Correct."

"Then please..."

The two of them were almost done talking, and "Marisa's Iron Butt" turned around and pointed at me: "Excuse me, you called the uncle's phone, but the call went through the phone of this...such a cute little loli in front of us, how come it's going on?"

As if to emphasize the absurdity of the matter, Marisa's iron butt even emphasized the pronunciation of the words "so cute".

"..."

Pipi's mouth twitched twice, and he finally blurted out: "How would I know?"

"So she's the uncle who loves Lolita you mentioned before?"

On the contrary, the handsome and well-built "Jitu Tonglong" was much calmer. He looked at the waist-length hair behind me and asked, "Can such a young child write a book now?"