I will never give in to Miss Death

"Sure, take the parents' ID card and go through the traditional signing process. Copy the ID card and sign. No one will check if you don't tell anyone."

At this time, Pipi also came back to his senses. He looked at me with a complicated expression: "But... the uncle used to play games with us. His personality and voice... I really can't believe that he is such a little... little sister."

"Can you believe this? This is simply impossible, okay? I'll just ask her directly."

Marisa's iron ass had an expression that said, "Even if the king of heaven and earth came today, this uncle can't be a loli." He walked up to me and said, "Ahem, little sister, well, just tell me straight. Is this uncle your brother or father? Did he ask you to come? Go back and tell him that this is not funny at all. Tell him to come quickly. The rights protection action is about to begin."

I...what do I say?

For a moment, I was a little confused.

I currently have two options.

The first one is to admit, as Marisa's Tetsujiri said, that she is actually just a "sister", and that Uncle Ai Loli is her brother or some relative, and she is just an errand boy.

But this posed a big problem. Regardless of whether these people would accept having their "sister" take over, many processes would be difficult to explain if one appeared to be very proficient in them.

For example, what if during conversations with these "old friends", I understood some of their habits and various details that only "uncles" should know as thoroughly as "uncles love loli", how would I explain myself if I were discovered?

Saying that he actually lives with "Uncle Loves Lolita"? Saying that "Uncle Loves Lolita" and he are very close, and the two are inseparable?

Wouldn't that be directly turning my former self into a pervert?

And it is difficult for me to control the "degree" inside. These two people are very familiar with me. Even if they have never met each other, people will still have that "feeling" when they get along for a long time. It is useless for me to hide it.

Finally, what should I do if one day they strongly demand that the "uncle" come out?

Go find the god of death and ask her to bring back the beheaded body from the underworld? It would be better for her to just take me away.

Under such circumstances, I actually only have the second option left, which is to confess directly to these two former online friends that I am "Uncle Loves Lolita".

He admitted that he used his parents' ID cards when signing the contract, and that he used a voice changer when playing games with them, leaving himself enough room for retreat.

No matter what, I could never announce to the public that I was turned into a loli by the god of death - I am a novel author, and I know that I have to keep some cards to myself.

The mainstream tone of this society is reality and science, so I won't bother explaining transformation, death, super powers to people around me...

"I...I really am an uncle who loves loli. I'm sorry for lying to you for so long."

Under the surprised gazes of the three people, I gave an embarrassed smile and walked towards them on my own initiative.

"Okay, Uncle Ben is here now, what should we do next?"

No. 024 Uncle, please sit down.

"No... No way bro, this isn't true."

My proactive approach made "Marisa's Iron Butt", who has always been regarded as "socially awkward" by everyone, tremble and take several steps back.

He retreated all the way to a bench under a big banyan tree behind him. His calf tripped over the armrest of the chair before he came to his senses. He looked at me with horror on his face: "Pishen, hit me and tell me this is reality, not fiction."

"How would I know? I'm confused now too, okay?"

Although she said so, Pipi still slapped Marisa's iron buttocks——

"Snapped!"

"Fuck! Are you really going to hit me?"

Marisa felt the pain and covered her butt reflexively, grimacing in pain: "Hiss... How come you look so skinny, but you have so much strength?"

"You son of a bitch, didn't you ask me to beat you up?"

In front of Marisa, even the gentleman with glasses showed his true colors. He crossed his arms and looked at Marisa with contempt: "Don't you claim to be able to chat with anyone? Uncle has been friends with us for many years, why are you silent now that someone is here?"

"Brother, can this be the same?"

Marisa put on the tortured mask of Landris. "If the uncle himself came, fine, we can chat casually. Even if the uncle didn't come, and this little loli who came didn't know anyone and wanted to chat with us... that's fine. Now, let alone those born in the 00s, I can find topics to talk about even with those born in the 10s, but this... this..."

Pointing at me in front of her, Marisa said with a sad face: "But uncles and loli are different!"

I was amused by this guy and couldn't help but laugh: "What uncle loli? It's just a pen name..."

"This is not an uncle loli, this... this is a real loli."

Marisa seemed to be stunned for several seconds because of my smile, and finally recovered: "Uncle... No, little sister, can you tell me your name? You see, calling you uncle all the time... It's not good, right?"

"My name?"

Seeing that I couldn't avoid it, I had to keep covering my mouth and quickly think of a name in my mind.

What is it called?

Or I can just use a ready-made one. What was the name of the heroine in my last book?

"Yin Nuoer."

"what?"

"That's the name of the heroine in my novel, Yin Nuoer."

When I was still an uncle, my last name was Yin, the same as the director of the orphanage, so when I wrote the book, I used this last name to name the heroine without hesitation.

But I never thought that the name would eventually be used on myself.

It feels like... some kind of reincarnation?

It doesn’t matter…Anyway, a name is just a code name, just like “Uncle Loves Lolita”, name, pen name, game name…a lot of names.

No matter what name I use, am I not still me?

"Ah? Isn't the heroine of your book Inoer?"

"What is Inoer?"

Pipi next to him couldn't stand it any longer: "You are a cultured person, but the pronunciation of that is Yin, water dispenser, yin, the third tone."

"How can I be considered an educated person? I started working before I finished junior high school."

Marisa retorted without hesitation: "When I watched it, I thought it was the same heroine as Illya, with the last name I."

"What the hell..."

Pipi became even more irritable: "Illya is a transliteration, okay? The other person's last name is Einzbern."

"That's about right, haha. I don't know much about the second dimension."

"You guy..."

Pipi went straight up and grabbed Marisa by the chest, pointing at the magical girl pattern on his T-shirt: "You don't understand the ACG world, right? Dongfang was expelled from the ACG world, right? Are you fishing? Are you possessed by a demon?"

Just like in the audio, these two funny guys are still so happy in real life.

In the warm sunshine, I glanced at "Jitu Tonglong" next to me and found that this tall boy was looking at Marisa and Pippi with interest.

Well...theoretically I seem to be safe?

Marisa, a 32-year-old uncle, is the ultimate D non-marriage advocate. Pipi is a married man with a daughter. It is said that Jito and Tonglong only like men...

"No, no, brother, I was wrong. Don't make a scene here. There are girls here."

The two of them played around for a while, and the chubby Marisa was the first to beg for mercy. He signaled me standing next to him with his eyes: "To be honest, I still don't quite believe that she is an uncle. I have to confirm it... ahem."

Then, Marisa walked towards me.

"What?"

The chubby boy stopped less than a meter in front of me and put away his phone. “Yin… Yin Nuoer, can I just call you by your name? It’s too weird to keep calling you uncle.”

I nodded: "Okay."

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you, it's mainly because you... this is too outrageous. A good brother who has played together for many years has suddenly become a little loli, especially this brother... this brother we often talk about all kinds of dirty jokes and movies with him... cough cough, right?"

Marisa looked back at Pippi.

"Yes."

Pipi put on an expression that said "you decide". "I remember you sent me a lot of resources before. If not 1TB, then at least 500G. There are both live-action and animation content. Teacher Luo Xiang said that if you spread that stuff to minors, you will be put in jail. It's a very serious case."

"Don't tell me that, damn it!"

Marisa was a little anxious: "Didn't I know at that time? Teacher Luo Xiang also said that if you didn't know, you can get a light sentence or no sentence!"

"Then I'm not sure. There are only a few brothers here now. It's okay if we don't say anything. But if we tell others..."

Pipi walked up to Jitu Tonglong and put his arm around the tall boy's shoulders, saying in an ambiguous manner, "Right, Ji, considering our good relationship, it wouldn't be too much to ask Marisa to treat you all to a meal today, right?"

"Not too much."

Jitu and Long cooperated very well and said, "Brother Marisa will pay for today's meal."

"Fuck, you two are cruel."

After glaring at the two of them, Marisa turned her gaze back to me: "No'er, let's ignore them. I... I'll just be frank. You said you are an uncle, but I don't believe it anyway. Can you answer a few questions for me?"

"Okay."

I blinked my eyes mischievously and said in a clear loli voice, "A box of crispy shark!"

"what?"

Marisa didn't understand what I meant for a moment: "What's Crunchy Shark?"

"We're going to have some crunchy shark snacks. I want the white chocolate flavor. A box costs about thirty. There's a supermarket over there."

I pointed my little finger at the pedestrian street behind Marisa and said, "I'll answer your question, but as a deal, after the event is over, I want to go there, and you pay for me to buy a crispy shark."

Of the three people in front of me, Marisa's Tiejiri once ranked first in the urban area's novel revenue for half a year, the divine pet Pippi once ranked third in the entire site's revenue, and Jito Tonglong has always been the most popular guy in the fan area.

You should know that before its closure, the author with the highest income at Yaedang Novel Network earned at least 500,000 yuan in royalties every month. During the peak reading seasons such as winter and summer vacations, some top authors could even earn 1 million yuan a month. Although Marisa, Pipi, Kita and Tonglong are not top writers, 200,000 or 300,000 yuan a month is definitely not a big problem.

I don't feel any pain in my conscience at all for cheating rich people like them out of thirty dollars for a crispy shark.

Crispy Shark is similar to Snickers, both of which are used to replenish energy when you feel sleepy or tired in the morning.

It is high in calories and is very suitable for nutritional supplementation after exercise.

After exploring for half a day yesterday and in the morning, I found that my body might have been created suddenly by the Death Girl. It has not been used or strengthened. There are not many strong muscles in my body and my strength is very small. It feels like a patient who has been lying in bed for several years and whose muscles have almost degenerated and suddenly gets out of bed and moves around.

Normal people don’t feel much in their feet when they walk, but that was the first time I jumped off the computer chair, and as soon as my little feet touched the slippers, my whole body shuddered. It shows how delicate this body is.

For the sake of my future health, I will definitely need to exercise for a long time, just like the exercises I did last night and this morning.

In this case, energy replenishment becomes very important.

Of course, the reason I chose the crispy shark is because... I am still upset about not being able to eat the last two crispy sharks.

They are expired.

It’s expired!

I am such a poor person, and yet I actually let food expire. This is really unbearable!

So I decided to let Marisa spend some money and buy me a whole box of Crispy Shark.

"Fuck, you're asking for things after asking for a few questions. You're like that uncle. He always uses the same tone when he asks me for gun parts during games... Give me a set of batteries! Give me two first aid kits!"

Marisa understood what I meant and had an expression that said, "I give in."

"Okay, a box of Crunchy Shark, now I'm going to ask you some questions that only an uncle would know!"

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Thanks to [孤寂的汪] for the reward from Yan Di! (*^▽^*) Thank you! Today's update is full of five chapters! This is the second update! I will try my best to update 10,000 chapters a day later! 】

No. 025 The Strongest Legend of Kamijuma: The Fierce Tiger

"The first question is also the most important and core one. Are you really an uncle? The pen name on Yaetang Novel Network is 'Uncle Loves Lolita'. Is that you?"

Standing by the bench under the big banyan tree, bathing in the speckled sunlight shining through the gaps between the branches, carrying a suitcase and with a buzz cut, "Marisa's Iron Butt" looked at me seriously, "This is a serious question, because we are going to find the person in charge of the website to defend our rights and ask for our salary today, so this matter can't be laughed at. Sister Nuoer, tell us the truth, are you Uncle Ai Loli himself, or his relative or someone else?"

"It's me."

I also put away my previous faint smile and said seriously: "Uncle Loves Loli is the pen name I came up with four years ago. Four years ago, I wrote a novel on Yaedang Novel Network. So far, it has more than three million words, which is about one million a year."

"Really you?"

The "iron butt of Marisa" in front of him still looked incredulous: "How old are you this year?"

"12 years old...right?"